>be me>at a hotel>order room service>lots of it>later that night, puking in toilet>I thought it was over>return to bed>need to fart>roll over to fart>shit the bed>say fuck it, it already happened>continue to empty my bowels all over the bed>take off sheet, bundle it up>take shower>leave
>>22282134>be me>man, I get food poisoning A LOT>idk, maybe I've got aids or something like cancerWas lactose intolerant for years and years before I figured it out.
Third world coded thread
<made lasagne and shat myself to death for a week
>>22282177You have to be at least 35 to post here, kid
>>22282141Fake, keked anyway>last friday>thawing chicken on counter for later>put chicken in fridge, head to appointment at bank>back home 2 hours later>chicken still on counter>fffffffuuuuuuuuuuu.jpg>chicken temp is 50°>activate_immediate_emergency_cooking.bat>been eating the chicken past few daysI might be ok bros, spinning the wheel every time. It's not even that good since I didn't get to brine it
I spent my whole spring break in bed from a burger
>>22282309It's probably fine, above 40F is when bacteria start multiplying and that's only after 2 hours or so where it starts happening more and that's still a somewhat conservative time frame.
I oven roasted some maitake mushrooms I got from Whole Foods without washing them first. A few hours after dinner I had terrible stomach pains and heartburn and could feel the food moving through my intestines. I tried to keep it down and just go to bed but after tossing and turning for a few hours growing increasingly uncomfortable I felt the vomit coming and ran to the bathroom. I didn't make it to the toilet and puked all the floor and my feet and legs. At the same time my asshole was pulsating and about to explode so I jumped on the toilet and pissed foul smelling mushroom goop from my ass while my bathroom floor and myself were covered in vomit. The smells and vomit all over made me puke again while I was shitting and the only thing I could do was puke on the floor because mushroom mud was pouring out of my ass. I don't eat exotic mushrooms anymore. Just button, baby bellas, and portobellos now. And I've been a huge mushroom eater for decades and liked all kinds of mushrooms and never had any stomach issues at all.
a few months ago i ate a hot dog at work that gave me the squirts for the next week. first time i've ever literally shat my pants in my entire life. let out a fart while driving, only noticed there was wet shit on my ass once i got up to head into the gas station. had to trash the undies in the bathroom and clean up best i could since i was still on the way to a rehearsal. it really sucked
>>22282134>be me>at grandpa's house>there's a chasm in his backyard >house literally on a cliff>four story drop from roof of house to ground>stairs leading down to chasm>filled with variety of plants, fruit bearing trees, bushes, etc. he planted>see he's down there one morning>comes up with plump, fuzzy, brown berries>"what are those">"anon I picked cranberries, I'll make you juice">blends berries>looks like cranberry juice>smells like cranberry juice>tastes like cranberry juice>tasty!>thanks gramps!>grandpa goes to store>15 minutes later>nausea>sweating>salivating profusely>burning in pit of stomach>oh fuck i need to go NOW>make it to toilet>grab mini trashcan >explosive excreta from both ends>immediately feel better>cool aunt hears about it>"you sure those were cranberries you crazy old fuck?"
Haven't been to taco beel in about 8 years because the last time I went I had two tacos, almost shit myself about an hour later on my way back home from shopping walmart.
>>22282343>mushrooms>>22282906>foraging
>>22282309You said you put chicken in the fridge. Now is it still on the counter?
>>22282134never had it to my knowledge despite eating room temperature food and sushi at my local Chinese buffet many times.
i don't obey the 5 second rule, i've never had food poisoning
>>22283055i don't eat food that's touched the ground (that's gross) but i do adhere to the smell test pretty strictly. i've eaten 2+ week old leftovers and been fine
>>22283047OP is probably lying
>>22282906>"cool" aunt doubts grandpa's foraging abilities huh maybe she ain't so cool after all?
>>22283336shitting your brains out after drinking homemade juice is normal to you?
>>22283374you don't know that it was the juice. it could've been something you ate hours ago or even yesterday
I am about to be 28 and never had food poisoning in my life, guess the trade off is being so mentally ill that I can’t function
>>22283377and it also could've very well been the juice. speculating on it is retarded. which is why your post was retarded.
