Welp
>>154019911Who the fuck is that guy and... you know what, I don't care. It doesn't matter.
>>154019928That's uncle Ben. He just found out that his brother, Peter's dad, had sex with their mother and he's his son.
>>154019911Yeah they've spoiled this a lot, only real thing is if its may's or not, lame regardless.
>>154019911>if the fans are angry they will buy comics
>>154019911Ah, yes, I see, very interesting. Quite compelling. Wholly engaging.
>>154019911Joe Kelly cashing checks for his absolute worst ideas. Good for him.
>>154019945>That's uncle Ben. He just found out that his brother, Peter's dad, had sex with their mother and he's his son.SPIDER-MAN, SPIDER-MAN,DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER CANSPINS A WEB, ANY SIZE,CATCHES THIEVES JUST LIKE FLIESLOOK OUT!HERE COMES THE SPIDER-MAN.
This might very well be the dumbest thing in a long line of dumb things
>>154019911You niggas are still reading Spiderman in the big 20+26?When will you let go of your brand loyalty to a brand that's been shit for most of your lives and move on already? Nothing's gonna improve till enough of you do that.
>>154019911That guy is as old as Peter's Dad how could that even work?
>>15402008215 year old Uncle Ben raped and tried to kill a girl in 1990
>>154020054i mean. i DO imagine they would do that. Marvel are that retarded... but, does that EVEN make sense?
>>154020112Comics are just soap operas with penises.
>>154019911Told ya'll
>>154020127yeah, but this is Marvel AND spiderman we're talking about, this is NOT okay.
>>154019911>Generic matchwestern comics have nothing going for them, boring uncreative stories, 80% of the cast are worthy of hate for one reason or another, probably the most creative thing about them. No one cares about the art, no one cares about the editing, no one cares about the character histories. It's so lame
>>154020144Marvel and Spider-Man became a household names because the ASM comic was the quintessential definition of soap opera for teenagers.
>>154019911wow they did a reverse trouble.
>>154019911What??!! Seriously? Oh man. While I certainly know what this means, tell the folks who don't know what it means what it means.
>>154020237incest?
We're finally getting a new Trouble for the new generation of comic readers.
>>154020270It's pretty much this. They just made a longtime fringe fan theory canon.
>>154019945So he's brother Ben now
>>154020296Mark Millar wrote this and then they continued to let him write other books, the injustice of this act is so immense that I can't put it into words.
What's with Spiderman and NTR holy shit
>>154020368His other books sold. Trouble was just a clueless attempt at making a romance book that would appeal to women.
>>154020382Another spoiler panel dropped earlier He's May's son too, they somehow had a baby they never knew about
>>154020408maybe her pussy is so loose that he just fell out while she was taking a shit and left him with her turd and then someone found him
>90's parents plot was shit>10's sister plot was shit>multiverse is shit>now a long lost brotherWhy do they keep insisting on this? It doesn't work. Just move the fuck on
>>154020429because they're soap opera tier hacks
>>154020429Not a long lost brother, but a cousin.
>>154020429Teresa has grown on me. I'll take her over secret cousin.
>>154019911Marvel comics needs a reboot. Badly.
>>154019911>generic matchups
>>154020427Ah yes, the Kamen Rider Ouja special!
>>154019911>Aunt May KEKEDLOL
>>154020442the funny thing is the shit with flash wasn't even a soap opera becuase Peter was ok with and advicated for it.
>>154020425was MAY obese and shat him out at a Mcdonalds?
>>154020998Yeah. It was before she got on Ozempic.
>>154019911It wasn't that well kept a secret. It's just more garbage with more garbage
>>154019911>wasting ASM 1000 issue with this shit instead of fixing OMD
Why are you guys making up some incest larp when there's dumb bullshit right in front of you?
>>154021121because it's funny
>>154020959He’s her son too
>>154020473>but a cousin.AKA the relative that nobody gives a fuck about and doesn't matter
>>154020001It reeks of a Lowe idea more than anything else.
>>154021108If this were a different creative team, I’d think they were using this cousin story as a cover to hide the real story for 1000. But this editorial has proven to be that shit that they really thought this was the story 1000 deserved
>Lowe has already said that Ben can't be a Spider-Man because there are too many despite introducing at least three or four others since then>Is now introducing a cousin/brother character to further invalidate any role he may haveWhat is his problem?
>>154021237>the biological son of the people who raised Peter doesn’t matter Come on now, that’s obviously going to be his whole motivation
>>154021295There's definitely gonna be some drama about Mac being jealous of the time May spent raising Peter.>You love some guy who's not even related to you over your own biological son
>>154020179>>154020296How are May and Ben having a child like Trouble?
>>154021252Yeah it seems like a shitty Slottian plot idea which means it's probably from Lowe.
>>154021350Because the whole twist with troubles is that Uncle Ben is sterile.
>>154020756A reboot could relieve Peter Parker from being scapegoated for the clone sagas and the multiverse refugee sagas but nobody cares about which fictional character should be blamed for those sagas to begin with so there is no point in rebooting.
>>154021389>ben having a biological child is like ben not being able to have a childAre you mentally okay right now?
>>154019995Sleep tight, Kirby.
>>154020368Bill Jemas was the main guy behind this comic and deserves more of the blame, epsecially since he's PROUD of Trouble
>>154019911The problem with trying to do a soap opera plot like this is that asm hasn't been a good soap opera in decades. There's barely a civilian cast and everybody has superpowers now. These kind of stories don't have a place anymore
>>154021420Are you trying too hard to keep this thread going?
>>154019911just don't make Uncle Ben a cheater and or deadbeat dad Marvelthat's all I ask from you pathetic bastards
>>154021254Oh....I know what they deserve....and it isn't pretty.
>>154020177... mixed with crime, mystery, and a realistic sense of having struggles and wanting to overcome them. WTF is this?
Do you guys remember #950. Haha yeah... #1000 won't be worse. Right?
>>154019945Bull, he's saying uncle ben was his father. Richard was Peter's dad.
>>154021753>Do you guys remember #950I genuinely don't
>>154021930Congratulations
>>154021108>meanwhile MJ in video games with the two recent games being Cosmic Invasion and Tokon
>>154022267nobody cares about your whore. we're onto bigger things, piss off now.
>>154019911So this shit was fake?
>>154022288>meanwhile how BND was treated by Dan Slott in 2026If you reply you agree that secular jews should be buried as christians.
>>154022320go to sleep.
>repliedYou see that Marvel employees? Keep burying secular jews as Christians.
>>154022305No, both of the things are true, he's bio son of both
>>154022329>>154022288I know this guy! It’s that famous polish guy! Ya know, the one who’s a proud pedophile? Where did you go for so long? Hey! Hey, fuck off. No one wants a polish pedophile here.
>>154022360DNA still works if they were both from another universe, right?
>>154022386Who the fuck knows at this point, could could not. Depends on how different the AU was
>>154022267Lmao Loser
>>154019911Who gives a fuck about another dumb gimmick storyline?
>>154022546>another replyThat's another vote to keep burying secular jews as Christians.
>>154019945i am so outraged i am going to buy it!
>>154020103KEK, classic uncle Ben
>>154022288>>154022546go back to /a/, nonreading faggot
>>154019911So, Trouble is not even that retarded anymore
>>154022305No, that's literally the next panels.
>>154020368Yeah. I think Civil War has ruined Marvel with how hard they went with crappy global events that consist of out-of-character writing and make stand-alone stories in-between into worthless padding to lead into yet another event slop.
>>154019945>That's uncle Ben. He just found out that his brother, Peter's dad, had sex with their mother and he's his son.I keep reading this over and over and I still don't get it. English is my only language. Are you saying Richard Parker fucked his own mom?
>>154024270It means Spider-Man is his own grandpa.
>>154024270seems like you just don't understand the subtle nuisance and genius of modern marvel writing.
>>154020144>but this is Marvel AND spidermanYou say that like Marvel and Spider-Man aren't famous for stupid shit like this.
>first Peter gets a long-lost sister (who is also a slammin' hottie, I'd park my peter in her)>now he has a long-lost cousin too
>>154024434Taint of Quesada still lingers.Wished Civil War didn't happen
>>154024472>first Peter gets a long-lost sisterNot anymore.>now he has a long-lost cousin tooNot for long, I reckon.
We have needed a new editorial regime for about two decades now, a complete purge.Right now you can practically smell the rotten squirrel in the walls, they have NOTHING left in the tank anymore.
>>154022386No it doesn’t. We’ve seen that in Fantastic Four and X-Men.
>>154019911Lmao. Someboy just close Marvel Comics already.
I think they should turn Peter into a werewolf for a bit. He'd still be doing spider things but as a wolf.
>>154024315https://youtu.be/8A4ADzu-v3s
I love incest.
>>154024671What if his villains start putting peanut butter on their balls?
>>154025357>I can't lick them, but I must!
>>154019911Will he fuck May
>>154022305OMG I love Nigger dude!
>>154019911Oh no Trouble is no longer canon.Also also bad form by Bastard Parker to introduce himself to his dead father's family, what's he trying to do give Aunt May a heart attack?
>>154022288This unironically
>>154021732That's lame and gay in today's landscape. Soap opera comics were always a bad idea, comics should be fun and entertaining. Like manga and video games.
>>154024656Nah Marvel is bigger than Spider-Man. They can thrive without thanks to the Avengers and X-men.
>>154021350Trouble is about the Parkers in an incestuous 4some as teens during summer vacation, May bangs both brothers and gets pregnant, when she tells Ben she's pregnant he responds that he's impotent. May (who's intentionally drawn to look like MJ kek) gives the baby up to Mary who marries Richard and Aunt May and Uncle Ben reconcile.It's a better origin than Richard and Mary being Super Spies and Wolverine might actually be Peter's father at least.
>>154024472Teresa didn't get targeted by Death Trap.
>>154027169only in your head polack.
>>154027049Trouble was never canon, they knew they had a stinker on their hands after the orders came in, so in the last issue they had a living adult Bucky Barnes show up.
We need to have a moratorium on long lost relatives in fiction. Fucking CEASE.
>>154027616But she got targeted by my dick.
>New bad guy with history changing powersIt's a red herring
>>154019945Isn't Uncle Ben dead
>>154028200Ah yes, Spider-Man's most deadly foe.
>>154019911Literally who the fuck is this?
>>154029024Uncle Ben's evil twin Uncle Neb.
>>154019911So he's Peter's cousin? And uncle Ben cheated on aunt May?Why are these modern faggot writers so obssesed with destroying every possitive male figure in media?
>>154021323He's not May's son.
>>154029508>>154029523No.>>154021827>>154021831
>>154021502This
>>154019911They are pulling the same shit a failing soap opera does when they are trying to spike their ratings, introduce a long lost relative, and make ads saying that "this is the episode that will change everything"The team behind this should just jump out a window.
>>154030463Spider-Man comics have been failing for years and ironically a victim of its own main characters popularity and success.Being the most well-known Superhero in the world, the ongoing comic will always be top ten regardless of actual shit put to paper, consequences and Spider-Office have been very far apart for years.That was of course until DC castrated their market share. And ASM went from juggernaut to just selling 'good enough' when it used to be comfortably at No 1. It might take a decade, it might be a bit more dramatically earlier, but this regime is vestigial.
>>154030534there is probably a point where the higher ups put their foot down but at the same time i don't expect them to replace it with anything better than the current slop.
>>154030702I'll take anything over the same barrel of piss we've been sieving from since 2008.
>>154027169>Wolverine might actually be Peter's father at least.Doesn't Mary find out that she's pregnant immediately after they rescue Logan? I don't think the math works and Peter is the spitting image of his father and not a hairy manlet.
>>154031529>implying he actually read the story in question and isn’t just repeating what he’s been told on /co/ from other nonreaders
>>154030702At this point I just want editorial and the creatives who let this happen to just suffer. That's all.
>>154027169Again, how is this like what is going on in TASM?
>>154030463This is like the third time they've done this exact plotline desu.
>>154032963Wait, who is the other one?
>>154019911>i'm...an imposter. that man is the REAL seymour skinner!
>>154024472Except they can't stop retconning her being his sister every 5 fucking minutes so she doesn't really count.
>generic match>'ctrl + F' "genetic">no results
you know they made a rape allegory with uncle ben years ago, i'm pretty sure they decanonized that PSA though
>>154033113His parents which were robots or some shit and his sister who was... I don't know what happened with that.,
>>154020074Probably after ASM #1,000 even though you can tell just by the cover "art" it's going to be diarrhea dogshit on top of this "secret cousin" schlock that they couldn't even commit to whether Theresa was Peter's sister or not so this is also a lazy rehash of that.
>>154036008>ctrl+f>biological>three results
>>154020144Brevoort before he was forced to shutter his Substack for alienating creators with his dismissive pro-AI replacement gaffe stating Disney/Marvel ONLY don't use it YET due to legal ownership issues outright said if you don't like it you can always stop reading because the sales are too good and Marvel knows that they can do whatever retarded shit they want and ASM will always be in the Top 25.
>>154021482Oh, right, he was also the retard who wrote "Marville"...
>>154021930Unironically ryona porn of Tombstone brutalizing Spider-Man while he pathetically screams and begs "PLEASE STOP! LONNIE I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON!" in Zeb Wells' run for like, the entire issue.
>>154033909I wouldn't stop fucking her every five minutes.
