Okay Everyone listen up and listen good this is it the issue which revels aunt may's dirty secret. No then we know that some of you have early access to this book. So it is now your duty to leak this book ASAP if you do not do it then heads are gonna roll namely YOURS. Just to be clear I am not in the mood for any games so leak this fucking book NOW.
Right's that's all the previews if it turns out peter's is norman's son and his aunt banged him and hid the fact from him then I will puke for sure.
>>154177195Ditko would sometimes give certain characters a lot more detail than others for effect. But, unlike here, he didn't do it in a way that shouts "I have a private version of what comes after the first two panels".
>>154177275Can someone translate this schizo babble from polish to English please
>>154177370Auntie May be norman's baby momma and shiet
>>154177174
>>154177174>So it is now your duty to leak this book ASAP if you do not do it then heads are gonna roll namely YOURS.Here's your leak, retard.
>>154177174>peter parker was just an ordinary high schooler>also a genius>and his parents were secret agents>and he has mystical spider powers given to him by a spider god or whatever>also there's a multiverse of spiders and he's the main one>and he also has a secret cousinOver the decades they keep adding to Peter that detracts from his everyman status. The genius thing is fine whatever. But it's going to eventually be revealed that Peter is royalty somehow and he's part alien in some way.
>>154177524let me make something clear to you IF they do decide to make canon that is peter's in fact Norman's son then it will bespider-man fans time to cry.
>>154177557Don't forget for a bit he had a secret agent long lost sister
to think I now want to go back to Otto banging Aunt May.
peter went back in time and had sex with aunt may and uncle ben so he could be born
>>154177230>That's what they told meWhat the fuck does that even mean? You would know if you were pregnant
>>154177370Trouble but even shitter.
>>154177178Uncle Ben is a cheater AND Tombstone shit sandwich? You spoil me, spider-office.
>>154177934
>>154178471>Uncle Ben is a cheaterI think it's the other away around by the looks of things Aunt May was the one who cheated on Ben,
>>154177847After death spiral I was genuinely shocked that there's people who actually like Teresa. What a nonsense character
>>154178341Maybe she thought he was stillborn.Also, I'm pretty sure something similar happened to my grandma when my mother was born.Not the stillborn part, because duh. But becoming sterile after having her first/only kid.
>>154177934And Vulture fell in love with her. After all these years, May still got it.
>>154177557He was never an everyman. Anyone couldn’t be Spider-Man. Peter Parker is Spider-Man. His determination to never give up makes him spider-man. People don’t do this shit with Batman. “Anyone could have lost their parents and become Batman”. Him being a genius is established the instant he creates web shooters, or a magnetic inverter, or spider-tracers, and his parents were revealed to be secret agents in 1968. Read Miles if you want a regular guy Spider-Man.
>>154178766I agree to a certain extent, I would add after Romita took over the art the story pretty much became a harem for Peter, he had an older girlfriend, Gwen, Mary Jane and even that other girl (Liz?), he was a very obvious nerd power fantasy, he had the power, the smarts, the girls, but he was a very relatable character who couldn't balance being a hero with actually being a person, as he grew older he kinda became a loser since they didn't want him to ever have money and so pretty much every skill he had became pointless.Honestly his parents being secret agents wasn't really that much of an issue because they were dead, until they were alive but then it was so controversial they retconned so they were never his parents anyway, I don't think anyone gives a shit about Peter having a cousin though, so much I can't possible imagine what is their angle with this? The part I agree with the anon you quoted is that MARVEL messed too much with spiderman lore, he even forgot the time he was a billionaire and somehow lost all the money, all you needed is to make him a guy who can't let go of being a superhero because he can't get over someone dying like his uncle did and struggles with his own life because it's impossible to balance the two things, though of course when they started pushing spiderman as one of the avengers this became an obvious issue.
>>154178766>He was never an everymanAnon that is why Marvel is so overprotective of Peter as Spider-Man. He's the relatable hero that has the average guy's struggles outside of being a superhero. Women problems, family issues, always broke, suffering from a variety of mental hangups. He's also the template for nearly every other teen hero. Marvel wants you to see Peter and think that if you got powers you'd be just like him.
>>154179346I remember when they introduced quasar and they tried to make him a millionaire CEO but with Peter Parker issues, only for a few issues later get rid of the whole cast because no one gave a shit.
>>154178341It's canon that she was pregnant at one point but "lost" the child
I don't get it. May and Ben just kept trying, and one night in Europe, she wished Ben could have a son. The baby was seemingly dead upon birth, they had a funeral, and it turns out they were given the wrong child. The whole thing is very anticlimactic. I don't understand what the Spider-Man office is doing. Why is this the big #1000 story? Was the wish Aunt May made granted by Mephisto? If not then why should I care? Six more issues, I guess.
>>154180196This whole thing feels incredibly editorial mandated.
>>154180196I don’t think they’re hacky enough to bring Mephisto in, it was just a swapped baby, classic soap opera. Hopefully the next writer can develop this shitty cousin enough that his villain appearances are enjoyable
>>154180240I think the worst part is that if this were issue #952 I would be really enjoying this run. This isn't a plot you build up for your company's first issue number ONE-THOUSAND.
>>154178766He was absolutely an everyman. That was his whole appeal. The “anyone could be spider-man” used to be a metaphor, you could relate and see yourself as Peter because he had problems like you did. Juggling work and home life. Money troubles. Drama with girls. Acne. Family drama. But nowadays your generation can’t into metaphors so you took “anyone could be spider-man” and made it literal with nine different variations of spider-man for each race and spider-sonas. I dunno if it’s because this generation is too stupid to understand anything that’s not literal or social media has made everyone the Main Character of the universe so putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and relating to them is a completely foreign concept.
>>154180318Brian Michael Bendis is nearing 60, don’t blame my generation for this.
>>154180231Amazing has been ghost-written by editorial since Spencer almost undid OMD right under their noses.
>>154177174Aunt May should date Odin.
>>154177557>Over the decades they keep adding to Peter that detracts from his everyman status.I don't agree with this idea that Peter should be an eternal everyman. He's been a hero for way too long. At some point, his everyman status shouldn't stick as he continues to grow as a hero. Miles and the other spiders are insanely incompetent. The F4 are often away from Earth. The Avengers are busy fighting each other. The X-Men are busy fucking each other. And the other street level heroes aren't strong enough to keep up even if their hearts are in the right place. Peter's the one who holds it all together. So at some point, he stops being an everyman and starts becoming an inspiration. It's nice to see Peter grow and gain respect from friends and foes.Everyman works with greenhorn Spidey, but it doesn't jive with veteran Spidey.
>>154180318He has relatable problems but he’s an aspirational figure. He isn’t an average or normal person.
>>154180558I agree in the sense Peter should have stopped trying to have a normal life by now and just stay spider man the whole time
>>154180196So I was right that they got wrong baby when last preview happened
>>154180558There's a difference to Peter as Spider-Man and Peter as just Peter. When he's not being a quippy superhero he's a guy trying to get by in life and doing a horrible job of it. He's a genius yet hasn't figured out a way to make money off of it long term. He has many love interests but the one that lasted the longest had a lot of bumps in the road before being taken away. He gets yelled at by his boss. Things rarely work out for him. He's not a billionaire or millionaire or even thousandaire. He's not a well off self sustaining genius.
>>154177557>But it's going to eventually be revealed that Peter is royalty somehow and he's part alien in some way.Peter Parker is now the descendent of King Arthur like Hellboy.
>>154178662If Norman does turn out to had sex with may by the 2000# issue we would have the entirety of spidey's rogues gallery sharing a bed with a 200 year old corpse
>>154182107They honestly should just make so May turns 18 again and the comics change to just Peter trying to make so she won't fuck a new villain every weak but she does and half of the comic is just May fucking every villain spider man has ever faced.
>>154182254This except Peter is the one fucking her and he becomes the villain of the book, while the rest of the Spider-Family try to stop him from fucking his aunt
>>154182375It's going to get weird when Peter reveals he has been doing it since he was 12 and his uncle watched
I just realized that at the start of Joe Kelly's Spider-Man run he introduced a new character who was Peter's childhood friend. He has now turned into a villain, meaning Mac will be the second character from Peter's past becoming a bad guy. What the heck are they doing?
>>154182998Mary Jane is venom and you think this is a problem?
>>154177332>"I have a private version of what comes after the first two panels".Anon what the fuck are you talking about?I dislike how May has that dumb smile in the second panel and in the third one she's suddenly so sad. I understand why, but it's a poor transition
>>154182254Cuck faggot lmao
>>154180637>but he’s an aspirational figure. He isn’t an average or normal personI think this line of thinking is why Marvel’s been in the shitter lately. Part of what made Marvel was that while the DC characters were like your parents the Marvel characters were more like you. But we can’t have that anymore because all the characters have to be perfect moral paragons and they’ve lost any sort of edge.
>>154180637>>154183516Peter's an everyman in the sense that an average person can see themselves in his character, i.e he's very easy to empathize with. He isn't a regular person though, very early on even Peter acknowledges that he must be crazy to be so dedicated to the heroics. Any regular person would either quit being a superhero or stop trying to have a normal life (like most other heroes atp), Peter does neither
>>154183307I like Mary Jane as Venom. The comic is well written and drawn.
>>154183744Should have been an what if series
>>154183744I like VenoMJ's look but not that it's MJ. MJ always hating that Peter risks his life as Spider-Man, getting on him for it all those years only for her to get in on it as well feels OOC. It was even bad when she was Tony's secretary. Like damn girl I thought you hated that kind of life.
>>154177174Is this Kirk or Jess? Did Paul's arrest for soliciting a hitman to kill his ex bring these two angry love birds bad together?
>>154180240>I don’t think they’re hacky enough to bring Mephisto inWhilst I don't think Mephisto is involved in this plot because he doesn't need to be, never underestimate BND writers when it comes to be the hackiest of hackfrauds.
>>154183930Looking for consistency in MJ's character post OMD is like looking for a straight line in spaghetti.They don't know how to write her, they've been trying to write her out for three fucking decades and they can't do without her because she continues to sell despite being an office of Saint Gwenfags.
>>154185106If someone shows up to a SDCC Marvel next big thing panel as Green Goblin with a spider web thread connected to a dead doll of Gwen and they drag it or whip around at the panel, I'll give them one (you) and a janny's salary (free).
>>154185130When was the last time we even had Spoffice writers in public? Wells couldn't show his face, Lowe got absolutely shellacked. They have a thick curtain between themselves and criticism.
>>154185148I dunno. I looked at the site out of curiosity and it seemed like last year they had a panel with Brevoort and X-Men but I didn't look hard enough to see if there was a Spider-panel.Anyway, yeah I think there was one anon in these threads who saw Lowe in public at a NYC comic store. But yeah other than maybe promos, they definitely realized they can't appear in public, otherwise they get their shit pushed in and their welfare check of a job gets ridiculed, their underpaid artists get brought up, or their stance on A.I. gets also brought up alongside their BND mandate or Slott's fetishes get mentioned. At this point, we just need to have a zoomer bring up ult's sales numbers and they'll get truly humiliated.
>>154183744No it isn't lmao
>>154185209It's funny seeing the millennials and zoomers they thought their mandate was made for and would have the support of completely reject it. It's like when Brevoort downplays and dismisses Rivals, it really is the worlds most retarded Tontine.
>>154185257>world's most retarded tontineThanks for the new word. And yeah that describes it pretty well.Brevoort downplays what exactly about Rivals? I forget. There was something with Cloak and Dagger?
>>154185106I would've been fine if Peter and MJ went back to dating. But I'm guessing the talks and hints at marriage scared editorial and they nuked it along with the last part of Spencer's run. I've never seen a company do their damnedest to not give paying customers what they want.
>>154185368The Spoffice lives vicariously through Peter, and it comes out in really weird ways.You have Queseda with his bullshit, Slott with his blatant fetishes, Wells with his divorce treating MJ as his ex-wife he thought was cheating on her with Peters sadboi arc and now Kelly wanting him for the clueless carnage purging saintly harem protagonist having lots of loose, nothing flings with every women under the sun. The only one I can't get a bead on is Spencer, who basically went rogue in office and got himself blacklisted for poor communication.It's all so gross and bizarre.
>>154185425I think Spencer is based and he was trying to sneak this undoing of OMD past Lowe's retardation/apathy. He got fired for disobeying basically. He already had the shit go down with Cap so I imagine he was already a black sheep nobody wanted to deal with so Spencer took the job of ASM because nobody wanted it. Except y'know he had other plans than taking more heat.
>>154185603There is a reason no-one outside this tiny select group of people for several damn decades wants to write for ASM.
>>154185652Yeah well, if you get off the fucking internet, and put passion into reorienting Spider-Man to what it should be then, maybe that heat will die down then. I know for a fact if Spider-Man or any piece of media suddenly got a unaninmously praised 10/10 entry all of a sudden, it will still get shit on here or anywhere on the internet, because guess what, anger grabs attention and everybody wants to feel power and control which is done through attention. So bait will happen. That's what no creatives nowadays gets. Anger has been scientifically proven to grab the most attention all the time. But it doesn't always work and apathy sets in. It's that simple. If a writer stays off, it gets easier and if you consistently do good you get praise which reinforces continuing that line of work.I could take that book over, get called the n-word by every anon on this platform whether in a good or bad way, and I'd still hedge it because it's literally all anonymous and you can't tell what is 100% genuine.
>>154185425Purging Carnage was cool though
>>154185713How come Peter can purge Carnage but can't shake off the Spider who Gobbos without help?Oh right, different writers and we're under the Lowe era of editorial. Do whatever the fuck.
>>154185905Lee Price was capable of repeatedly mindraping and subjugating Venom, with no prior experience. Peter’s repeatedly fought the venom symbiote, and he wasn’t able to defeat Carnage alone, he needed help. And obviously Mephisto-powered sins are stronger than symbiotes :)
>>154177557>Coming Summer 2028: Peter Parker, True Lost Heir to Wakanda
>>154183601Exactly. You might think it'd be cool to be Batman but you can't see yourself as Bruce, whereas Peter is easy to imagine as a normal guy.
>>154183930That doesn't seem inconsistent. Being worried about a loved one getting hurt is different than taking risks yourself.
>>154186078It's MJ wanting to have nothing to do with Superheroics, then going to be Starks secretary is the inconsistency.MJ isn't the same character, and arguably doesn't even have a character only catch-phrases, since OMD. She won't get one back until the rotted writer crop is finally weeded and OMD gets ousted, likely not retconned but acknowledged and they get back together permanently under marriagefags who grew up with them married and very confused by all the Silver Age nostalgia.
>>154186078She never fully approved of Peter risking his life as Spider-Man. She goes from trying to make him give it up to accepting it and supporting him. So for her to work for another superhero and even become one herself is hypocritical and goes against her stance on superheroing that she's had for decades.
>>154183744There's no need to be rude
>>154178595So she told Ric that she's sterile... But not that she had what she thought was miscarriage. Huh.
>>154181025And money?
>>154183930>So I'm gonna go date a firefighter, safest job ever.
>>154186574>so I'm going to date a firefighter, and then go work for Tony, and be badmouthing Peter at all times, oop wait no I love you Peter and I don't have any hangups anymore... ooh Rabin you know lying and genocide has always been my thingSomeone please pull these fat old men off they are drunk and I don't like the way Guggenheim looks at her.
>>154185319>Brevoort downplays what exactly about Rivals?Its popularity being tied to the gameplay mechanics rather than the comics.>There was something with Cloak and Dagger?He tried to shill an alternative universe type comics where everyone dies in it in the end, including Cloak and Dagger.
>>154186574The funniest part is that he's black and hispanic but he either looks 100% one or the other depending on the artist.
>>154181234They'll finally push the button on making him jewish and he's shown to be a descendant of King David. "Spider's are small so always fighting a goliath." or some bollocks.
>>154186024Thats 100% going to be miles at some point. They'll make him Black Panther, totem shift from the spider to the panther. they're slowly prepping, sidelining most of his spiderpowers for the weird electrical ones. Giving him a new name. Marvel can't cope with black characters not somehow being tied to Wakanda.
>>154186718>someone who attended a christian funeral for a secular jew being retconned into a jewChristian funerals for the win I guess
>>154186815What?
>>154178766>Read Miles if you want a regular guy Spider-Man.
>>154186840Everytime I see this page I laugh, how terrible those tears on their cheeks look.
>>154186838Everyone that dies is going to be buried as a christian in the comics.
>>154180196FAKE AS FUCK
>I am your father peter really remember what happened when luke found out darth vader was in fact his father well you can your ass this will just as bad if not worse. Yeah they are that stupid enough to make it canon
BP
I'm not trusting Crane at all. Feels like he's pulling a long con on May but what exactly does he have to gain from it
>>154178471>>154178540No, he found Ben on 23 and me. He's presenting as Ben and May's kid. It's implied that their attempt to have kids of their own ended tragically without an abundance of detail. This proposes that they were told their baby died, but that actually it was a mistake and their baby was given to another family.This is not hard to follow.There's not that many words.
>>154189623Read the toilet paper yourself where Peter states he only resembles Ben.
>>154188723Is this schizo theory the new "Ben cheated on May"?
>>154178341Well pregnancy science in 1981 wasn't quite figured out yet. Doctors didn't understand what was going on down there.
>>154189673In the previous issue he said May was a genetic match for his mother, don't be a goldfish about this.
>>154190006That's the newest villain's word, the guy who's been illustrated with nothing but shiteating grins, don't be a disingenuous faggot working at a dying business.
>>154189143Maybe he wants to kill Peter to get his intellectual property rights to Spider-Man’s photos, as another stream of passive income. On a less shitposting note maybe he wants Spider-Man’s powers and thinks he should share with his family.>>154189673They aren’t going to make Ben a cheater, especially since May just said she’s known he’s her son. But assume they’re dumb and lying, what’s the alternative? He’s Ben’s clone? They could go really wacky and make him the third Parker brother, and he’s Peter’s other uncle.
>>154190316>They aren’t going to make Ben a cheaterWhy, because he's off-limits to the humiliation rituals? Please.>But assume they’re dumb and lyingDon't have to.>what’s the alternative? Something contrived and low IQ that will make you look at life model decoys with different eyes. Then he'll go away and not matter in 10 issues when the apathy hits Chasm levels.
Were going to keep bumpining the thread untill you leak the book you know. Who are you trying to fool anyway we know you have it so just cough it up none of us are getting younger.
i>>154191851we don’t leak books to pedophiles
>>154191996Not a pedophile you retard and dumbass
>>154192026I never said you were, but Gwenschizo guy, you need to watch out for him, he said he was a pedophile a LOT. Be careful around him and try to avoid Polish people and X-Men threads, he’s not safe to be around.
>>154192044I wonder why the Polish guy, Gwenschizo, has made being a pedophile such a big part of his identity.
I promise to leak this issue if Gwenschizo renounces pedophilia and apologizes to everyone for his cruel statements supporting child rape.
>>154192101He should also say that black people deserve the same rights and protections as white people I think.
>>154192125Gwenschizo would rather die than say that, he really hates black people and hates Norman Osborn and Felicia Hardy, once adaptations turned them black…
>>154192101>Gwenschizo immediately abandons his own thread when the offer is made.
>>154192067>>154192101>>154192125>>154192180>>154192251Could you morons kindly stop shitposting and and not make any trouble let's get on back on topic please
Why would you want to invalidate Norman's wife here with that the theory? She only recognize Normie as her grandchildren. Do you want her to undo OMD?
>>154189623>>154189673We literally have spoilers >>154180196
>>154192457I won’t leak the book until you apologize to us.
>>154193378If I had a nickel every time one of Norman’s exes lead a secret organization based on him I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice.
>>154194358Haha, why does she look just like Gwen?
>>154183930>he considers slott and wells canonkek
>>154194645Even Kelly doesn't consider Wells canon, it seems.
>>154194645The entire BND era is going to be looked at in decades to come as the bizarre interlude between the actual character we knew forty years prior.Like a industry lesson in what happens when you don't tard-wrangle.
>>154194645What was with Slott and voyeurism?Making Peter watch his Aunt and Otto, and Otto watching MJ and Peter, and Peter watching Otto and Anna and-Oh right, the pheromone guy.Slott if you're going to be a blatant fetishist, be at least a cool one like Claremont or Marston.
Any spoilers for the MJ one shot?
I'm still unsure what this is actually gonna mean for 1000. If he really is Peter's cousin, so what? What's the hook supposed to be
>>154196672They have nothing left in the tank, editorial brought Kelly down from the GOTG-lite he actually wanted to write for the Torment non-event and now we're on the rails for a rehash of Theresa/Trouble/It's a wonderful life.The actual things people would want to see, that would change things, like OMD addressed, Baby May coming up and seriously challenging the redeemed Norman and his relationship with Peter, anything that can actually bring a draw beyond Peter doing shenanigans in a mask as his personal life continues to not exist - they can't be addressed. The editorial albatross is so heavy and rotted and they can't do anything else he ends up like Spencer.
