You know, Batman, I was watching TV the other day. That rich guy....what was his name? Oh yeah! Bruce Wayne. He was doing some kind of interview and he was looking all happy and answering questions, but I also noticed he looked kind of tired. Like he didn't get much sleep the night before.Guy like that? All that money and an easy life. It really makes you wonder. Just what in the world could keep a guy like that up all night when he knows he has an interview the next day? But what do I know? Who knows what kind of night life a guy like that has?
>>154307742Columbo is too powerful for the DC universe.
>>154307776implying Batman wouldn't immediately know he knows, and only lets him do his thing because Bats is secretly a massive columbo fan, having always looked up to him when it comes to detectiving
>>154307776>Doesn't use guns>Figures out shit Batman would need billions of dollars worth of shit to sus out>Every villain dismisses him as a bumbling idiot until they get snatchedHe would probably have a lot of respect but he is also smart enough to stay out of capeshit business because it's too big for detective level stuff.
>>154307944indeed. HE would only be going through his schtick because of what a fan HE is of Batmanit would end with them going out for a nosh
>>154307944A lot of Columbo cases really came down to luck. He was like 30% detective work, 70% stalking the person he suspects until they give the game away.
>>154308157Anon you just said a sandwich was 30% ham and 70% salted, smoked pork
>>154308207When I say say stalking I'm referring to his "extra curricular" activities which could definitely feel contrived at times. The one with construction mystery where the car radio was the tip off comes to mind.
>>154307912Would they have a sick ass team up?
>>154307742>Just what in the world could keep a guy like that up all night when he knows he has an interview the next day?drugs and whores
>>154310709they operate pretty differently, and Columbo's whole schtick relies on the opposite of Batman's: that people are so UNafraid that they completely let their guard down, and nobody suspects he's anything but a regular schlubb.But they could still help each other out to a limited extent. Batman telling Columbo where to go, whom to grill in his own way.. or maybe they do a good-cop bad-cop thing where Batman threatens a thug and gets pretty flimsy info out of him, then Columbo 'happens' to be there afterward like "Boy, you nearly got your neck wrung. Hope your boss has good health care. I hear some of these lairs now, they're built out of old abandoned hospitals, so at least they got some equipment. Yours anything like that?"
>>154307912>Batman wouldn't immediately know he knowsthat's all the villains in every episodes, Batman is being played there.
>>154310768A fool can't write a genius
>>154307742"I have more important things to think about than to concern myself with people like Bruce Wayne. As long as he's honest, he's no concern of mine.""And don't smoke around me, Columbo, or I'll put that cigar out in your big mouth."
>>154307776This. He'd make Wayne look like a FOOL
To quote creator William Link "We wanted to keep him almost mythological. He comes from nowhere and goes back into nowhere" I have been, for years, convinced Columbo is some kind of cryptid. He shows up everywhere, in the same car and the same outfit, never explains what precinct he works for out of LA, is almost never seen answering to any superiors or reporting to headquarters at all... And has this ability to 'charm' the truth out of immediately identified suspects.I remember someone in the show calling him an Imp once.
>>154307776I’m surprised they haven’t crossed over yet with how many weird crossovers DC’s been shitting out as of late
>>154315947He has reported to higher ups multiple times and works for the homicide division.The bigger mystery is trying to figure out if he is actually married. His wife NEVER appears in the entirety of the shows run and you never hear her voice over a phone call.
>>154318691You do realize the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) operates 21 distinct community police stations, and I'm talking Columbo having direct face to face communication with an immediate superior. I.E. a captain.Sure there's a commish who's being tugged by his cock by the bad guy here or there. But I mean like, point to anyone who's been around Columbo more than twice at best. (And I don't mean how William Shatner played two seperate culprits)
>>154307776columbo was just a lower/middle class power fantasy
>>154307776This.
I would love it if Columbo was one of the people who trained Bruce during his years abroad training.
>>154318691She is on the cruise ship with him. I remember thinking the wife was a fabrication (Mrs. Columbo was a Remington Steele situation) but the cruise episode made it too much of a stretch.Terrible episode btw. I never rewatch it.>>154318948He has to repass his marksmanship exam or whatever you call it. He's clearly in the system with proper documentation. I think he gets saddled with a side kick by his boss one episode as well.
>>154318691his wife was Kate Mulgrew, you just only saw her when she got her own show, and then you never saw HIMthey're like Lady Bird and Lyndon Bee.
>>154321997I could fuckin see it. It'd be like in Beyond when Bruce's old martial arts partner has become a master on her own, and he sends Terry to see her and it's a total Yoda thing where he thinks she's just a random old lady at first."I'm sorry, sir, I have the greatest sympathy for your plight, but I'm looking for a detective. Here, have twenty dollars, buy yourself a hot meal.""Well that's real, real nice of ya, Mistah Wayne, but I think your detective skills are better than you thought, since you already found the guy you're lookin for.""Wait, I didn't tell you my- oh..."
I don't think most reasonable people would really believe that a billionaire is Batman. Like at best, they might suspect him of being affiliated with Batman, but it's still kind of a wild leap. Like imagine that Batman existed IRL. Would you seriously suspect like Jeff Bezos or whoever of being Batman? No. No one would seriously believe that.I'd say that the most immediate and obvious assumption would be that he's some sort of elite special ops guy who has a team backing him up from behind the scenes.
>>154325942the mysterious guy in the mansion up on the hill, in the town with all the insane criminals, where his parents were fucking gunned down in front of him but he STILL lives there? And there's a mysterious guy in a super sweet car just punching the lights out of said criminals even as the system keeps letting them go free?yeah I'd believe it
>>154326131We live in a time when all billionaires are treated as evil, greedy, lazy tyrants.
>>154307912>implying Batman wouldn't immediately know he knows,It's not a secret
>>154326260and they wonder why they're starting to live up to the expectation.same thing happened with the negroes.
>>154326260We need to stop noticing things and just realise that the uber-rich are our betters by definition.
>>154326787stop watching the fucking newsstart prosecuting people for crimes and treating everyone else as innocentdestroy the lives of all lawyers, and any judge who sides with the richer guy that everyone hates for ruining their lives, because he's obviously been bribed.
>>154326966kill everyone now
>>154324797No that was a woman pretending to be Mrs. Columbo. She realized that there was no real Mrs. Columbo and decided to assume the identity for her own benefit, knowing that Columbo could not call her out without revealing he lied about being married.
>>154307742Columbo fags are more annoying than batman fags.
>>154327702it's amazing how, even after all this time, shitty contrarianism toward things that feel so universally enjoyable still gets me belligerently angry.
>>154307742The real test for Bats is how would he deal with Police Squad!(In Color) in Gotham.
>>154307776feepee beepee
>>154319909>t.Jack Cassidy
>>154315947
>>154318948>point to anyone who's been around Columbo more than twice at bestSgt. Kramer, six episodes
>>154329316Colombo is a vampire? How so?
>>154329542he has a glass eye, do I have to draw you a picture?
>>154310822I'd like Batman to run interference for the "harmless" Columbo. He attracts the attention of the crook and seems to fail to defeat him, but this lands the crook right into Columbo's hands. Batman was being humble the whole time.
>>154329941It works, right?
>>154330083Of course.This would legit have been a good episode of TAS with a Columbo pastiche which the script fools even the audience into thinking is useless only for him to cinch the case in the last scene.
>>154329853
>>154330364But anon, I'm the one who made a joke based on YOU not getting a joke.>>154330181particularly it'd be nice to have Batman have a positive experience with a cop not named Gordon.(or yknow, not a fucking diversity hire mexilesbo)
>>154307742That's not Columbo that's the cop who becomes convinced he's Rorschach
>>154307742Kino
>>154307742KINO
>>154327594sounds exhausting..
>>154308157Anon, I hate to break it to you, but a lot of detective work does involve stalking.
I'd recommend Peter Falk's memoirs to anyone; he wasn't playing a part, he really was that amusingly meandering irl
