How did this happen?
>>154593784Well, he got into an accident and...
Dude, that crab is so fucking shiny it makes me wanna merge without looking.
>>154593784I work with kids and some of a bunch went on a field trip to see this movie in theaters today and my normie coworkers who brought them said they thought it was "cute" and that they "liked the Rock in it"
Tamatoa in the Star Fox remake
>>154593843general audience moment
>>154593784Why couldn’t they just make a live action Tamatoa look like a real coconut crab rather than whatever the fuck that hideous monstrosity is? Maybe it would’ve at least made the scene funnier to see a realistic crab singing and shit.
>>154593784>What if we made everything dull and lifeless?His new look genuinely captures what it feels like watching any clip of these remakes.
>>154593843Aren’t kids on Summer Break now?
>>154594124It was at a summer camp.
>>154593843that sounds about right for what normies would think
>>154593818NIgga slimed his bro out and instantly went back to uploading "Top 10 Most Unhinged Pocoyo Moments"
>>154593784Damn, he let himself go for the last 10 years.
>>154594061or what it feels like to kill your friend in a car crash
>>154593865Imagine saying this after the shitstorm Disney got for the live action Sebastion.
>>154593784Left is me busting a nut. Right is me six seconds before and after i coom
>>154594237I got a reprimand for yelling at the kids that summer I volunteered as a counselor at a day camp
>>154595331I was invited back to volunteer again, They were hard up for people
>>154593784qrt on the car crash?
>>154596354Schaff drove into a truck and killed his brother and his friend. Took a somewhat minor break to mourn and then kept the reviews going. Not that big of a deal. Most people simply move on faster.
>>154593784Isn’t this the balding nigga who got his friends killed in a car accident
>>154593784Nu Tamatoa looks like a divorced dad who just ate an entite tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream and is currently vegging out on the couch while watching reruns of America's Funniest Home videos and wondering where it all went wrong.
>>154596891Wow where’d you get that metaphor from 2002? Old.
>>154596997That's not what a metaphor is, you retarded zoomletI bet you can't even read analogue time
>>154595154They aren't even consistent in this case.
>>154596354reviewtuber drove into a truck, killing his brother and another passenger, then went back to making videos like a week after it happened
>>154597242What the FUCK is up with that chicken?!
>>154593784wtf...
>>154596874?Looks like the moana crab.
Everything about this movie's existence reeks of someone desperately needing a paycheck. Or money laundering. Probably both. I don't think a single soul asked for this. The original movie is barely even a decade old.
>>154597821
>>154593784>>154593818>>154593865a case of psychosis induced by an attempt to preserver the og design while going for a more """realistic"""" look; another sign that this movie shouldn't have happened and Disney should put down the slop and go back to animation
>>154593855>I'd rather be SHINY!
>>154593784>>154597242>>154597271These monstrosities all look like Flapjack close-ups.
It's super cool how blockbuster production CGI has only been getting worse over the past decade and a half.
It’s bombing.
>>154599789Good
>>154599789>250 million to put the rock in a wigso it's just money laundering right?there's no way they actually put that much money into this right?
>>154599789what lesson will Disney learn from this?
>>154593784Didn't this movie remove the rock's nipples?
>>154594742>slimedIT'S MURDERED
The superior live action Moana.
>>154600030Probably none. They already announced they're working on a Moana 2 live action remake
>>154600030They'll think audiences just stopped like maori at some point and thrn proceed to make live action Princess and the Frog with the most horrific looking CGI Louis and Ray possible. Just imagine this fucking thing in realistic 3D.
>>154599789Is that girl Philipina or Polynesian? They both have that odd scrunched up face. Actual pugs in human form.
>>154600036W-where did they put his nipples?
>>154597744NTA but he's talking about a YouTuber called Schaffrillas Productions. IIRC he was driving the car with his brother and friends onboard, and got them killed in a car accident. People joke about it because, oddly enough, he went back to making content shortly afterward, implying that he doesn't care about it as much as he wants people to believe. He uses Tamatoa as his avatar.
>>154593784Hollywood has an extreme amount of embarrassment over anything characteristic. Cartoons, comics, video games, anything, is fighting an uphill battle to not be enshittified stylistically to be more "marketable", which in this case, is more realism. I'm shocked they even kept the humanoid mouth. >>154593865This would have looked better but people would still be upset about it, I think.
>>154600500Also despite making it clear multiple times that his opinions are just opinions he is so influential in the cartoon community that they cause shifts, for example, Megamind's resurgence in popularity, Shrek 4 now being considered underrated instead of "At least it's better than Shrek the Third", Ratatouille being now considered the best Pixar Film/their Magnum Opus (I wouldn't go that far but Ego's review is one of the best Pixar scenes ever) instead of just a worthy entry of their golden age, etc...
>>154600030None, cause Lilo & Stitch made a bajillion dullards, so they can keep pumping these shitty live action shitstains
>>154593784How did he eat enough to get that big?
>>154600659Num num num me am average consumer me luv brand brand nummy gblrubrrlbghgh. That's the level of discourse we're having to put up with from the people spending money on this dogshit era of media we fester in.
>>154600030The only way Disneys live action remake monopoly ends is when they inevitably run out of films to remake, let’s go down the list:>Lilo & Stitch 2, Hercules, and Tangled are all confirmed.>Pocahontas is very unlikely to be remade with all the culturally insensitive shit.>Hunchback of Notre Dame will probably also get religious backlash or controversy surrounding whether they cast an actual deformed person as Quasimodo or not>Bambi and the Aristocats were originally planned but scrapped, may or may not reenter production>Tarzan, The Emperors New Groove, and Robin Hood are either popular or have decent enough followings to have a chance>Their popular revival era films are likely next on the chopping block, Frozen and Big Hero 6 especially (wouldn’t be surprised if they connect the latter remake to the MCU), unsure about a live action Zootopia since based on the scrapping of Aristocats and Bambi it seems they don’t want to risk blowing all their money on CGI animals unless it’s a guaranteed success, and a live action Wreck-It-Ralph sounds retarded even for Disney standards since it’s a movie that takes place inside video games.>Brother Bear, Treasure Planet, and Atlantis are all unlikely, unless Disney actually wants to take a risk for that.Though based on a Gaston film being in the works and those Cruella movies they probably will find a way to milk live action spinoffs and sequels of their properties.
>>154596840>>154597270You guys say "killed" like he meant to do that
>>154601019No, we say killed because what happened is that they were killed. Whether intentional or as a result of negligence they have been rendered deceased through the actions of another and i'm not repeating that mouthful outside of right now
>>154598079Whithout the charm
>>154600742>Treasure Planet, and Atlantis are all unlikely, unless Disney actually wants to take a risk for that.doesn't matter, both would be absolute disasters since the goal of remaking them wouldn't be to try and make better quality movies and making those ips more succesful but just to drain as many disney adults as possible of their hard earned sheckels. if anything I hope they leave those two alone, at least>imagine Treasure Planet BUT in the Star Wars setting with baby Yoda showing up or something like that>Atlantis but Atlanteans are somehow notAztecs Latinx and it's all a colonialism related humiliation ritual. >Milo is black and gay, Aubrey is a trans Latinx and Cookie, Mole and Vince are not just ridiculous stereotypes but also stupid and useless, despite their background and expertise. >Sweet is the only male prot that is not rewritten>also, AI slop, AI slop everywherethe 2030s looking really grim from here, and not just in /co/ related stuff
>>154601304The sheer fact that we live in a reality where there’s a small possibility of Treasure Planet being remade to pander to the bald 30 year old men with unhealthy MCU obsessions makes me want to die.
>>154597271Couldn't they just get real animals to play Pua and Hei Hei? They don't do anything in the movies that real acting animals can't do.People love real life pigs and roosters. People loved seeing Babe and Charlotte's Web. It sounds hilarious to see The Rock holding a real rooster and talking to it and feeding it. Disney will probably do the same thing with Tangled. They will turn Maximus and Pascal into CGI abominations. White horses look great on screen, just get a normal white horse to play Maximus.
>>154600742I really fucking hate the way Disney is milking their IPs.Surely there are better ways to do that.
>>154597242coconut guy looks alright but it's hard to fuck that up
>>154593855Why do giga autists always have a fixation on Thomas and Friends?
>>154599951At least 50 millions of those dollars probably went into the Rock alone.
>>154602937I would assume that after the backlash they got from the live action Lion King for how that turned those characters into dull and lifeless completely realistic CGI animals their response was to instead make all the animals in the coming remakes look like uncanny valley demons.
>>154593843>and that they "liked the Rock in it"Notice how their didn't mention the character, but the celebrity behind it. Total soulless observation.
>>154601304I mean, I can very easily piss myself off by imagining just how fucking bad live action remakes of Atlantis or Treasure Planet would be, especially how the Treasure Planet designs would translate. Amelia would look like she's from the CATS movie and Long John Silver would go from being ugly in a lovable way to an abomination that causes any small children watching to start freaking out and crying. That's assuming they don't just make everyone a human of course. Ultimately, I think that both movies bombing has saved them from this humiliation though. If you didn't make enough money to appease The Mouse you get sent to the shadow realm forever as far as Disney is concerned. I don't even think The Princess and the Frog will ever get one either.
>>154603225Yeah anon, but that's how most people think when it comes to movies sadly.
>>154593784coke bloat.
>>154600742There's one film that's truly deserving of a remake but we all know the company won't do it:
Why didn’t he just look both ways?
>>154593784YOU'RE OLD(YOU'RE OLDDDDDD~)
Are there any YouTube videos criticising him? I haven't seen any but I want too because I don't like him.He thinks Pocahontas is a white supremacist film BTW.
