In tribute to everyone's second-favorite wrestling billionaire, let's read the old classic. It's what Ted would want: to be dead right now
>>154762408Who died?
>>154762440Ted Turner, of course!
I still can't believe that Jemas actually thought this was good enough to publish.On the other hand, the first half before it becomes incomprehensible is a pretty cool time capsule of the most retarded parts of early 2000s pop culture.
What's that, /co/? You don't like these pesky speech bubbles, and would prefer basic text over art that becomes a bit sloppier than what we've seen so far?
Wait, that's not what you said at all?
Too fucking bad.
>>154762704>the first halfAnon, this went on for seven issues. That wasn't the first half - it wasn't even the first third.
>>154762726My bad, I meant the first two issues, before this shit >>154762723 begins
>>154762762That's okay. Tbf #7 is... well, we'll get to that
>>154762704Not just "good enough" he clearly believed it was brilliant. Marville is so up it's own ass satisfied with itself while also being aggressively, wince inducingly shit. For my money it is genuinely the worst comic of all time because the other contenders are bad in a way that's at least mildly amusing. Marville is like a boomer dad's idea of being funny combined with a teenager's idea of being deep.
>>154762475>Uncle Paul>PaulOP, hurry up and finish storytime, because it's Paulin' Time after that.
Hooray! The walls of text are back!
No new readers this time? I always like seeing newfags' reactions to this piece of shit.
>>154763236I’m suffering. It’s like a deep dive into the mind of a profoundly dumb person. And the presentation of the wall of text issues feels like I’m reading some lame screenplay of Ken Penders wallpaper art.
>>154763236It's early days yet>>154763361That's the spirit!
>>154762846I think that was only true for #1 and #2. Then he realized that nobody was impressed, but had no idea how to salvage the story (and obviously couldn't ask somebody else to take over), hence this bizarre creationist pivot, which only made him even more of a laughingstock - so #6 is a feeble attempt at saving face and #7 is basically "ha ha I was merely pretending to be stupid".
>>154763236I just frankly don't know what to say
>>154763451I know, ain't it great?
>>154763351>>154763356>>154763366>>154763373>>154763395You know, some of what he’s saying is completely unobjectionable. Just a workaround way of saying write better comics. But what am I going to do with all this useless knowledge?Not to mention, I have a tolerance for “writing advice” of about two paragraphs before my brain defaults to “wait a minute, if it’s good who gives a shit about rules?” I think the best practice is to be aware of literary devices or common tropes in the back of your mind while being fully prepared to break them if it’s interesting. Being so concerned with this stuff and publishing a manifesto of Art Rules just makes you sound like any dime a dozen internet autist. Small dick energy.
>>154763539>last rule is fuck the rulesI was only pretending to be retarded.
How much of Jemas's blood concentration was just pure cocaine?>>154763183>>154763187Sure. Why the fuck not?
>>154762607I think this is the only page out of all of this shit that had any longevity
Do we have any knowledge on how these issues sold? I can't imagine a single person picking this up in a shop, flipping to a wall of bullshit, and deciding it's worth the purchase.
>>154763029top panel reminds me of goatse
>>154763539It takes some fucking brass balls to do a guide on how to write good comics as the final issue of one of the worst comics ever written.
>>154762408Is it even that bad?
>>154766008Did you read it?
>>154762478As awful as this comic is, the dad sending his son into the past and then refusing to do it himself because it's too dangerous is a little funny.
>>154763236I've actually thought about Marville recently and put together some new thoughts on it, if that counts?Marville really does read like an amateur writing from the seat of his pants. It's a guy who had one idea and then never expanded it. It happens so often, and it follow the usual cycle to a tee.He sits down to write the first chapter and he's all gung-ho and he's like 'I'm going to write a funny, superhero parody! My character is going to have Superman's backstory, and Spider-Man's backstory, and Batman's backstory, but like, a funny version of them. It'll be great.'And then someone tells him to needs to write the next chapter, and he never had a plan to continue it past the first idea, so he sits down and goes 'oh, I guess he needs to fight villains too? He IS a hero. But...but I'll have him fight heroes like a smart guy, by giving away money to the poor so they don't commit crimes! Oh, but what about career criminals who aren't poor? I guess he needs to deal with them too somehow? Have him, I dunno, fight the Kingpin.'And then someone tells him he needs to write the THIRD chapter, and by now he's completely tapped out. So he just starts waxing philosophical. He's contractually obliged to put something on the page, anything, so it's just an incoherent stream of consciousness about whatever he was thinking about that day. And then he meanders along until he gets to chapter 7...Which is the crash out that these stories always make, where the author just looks at the audience and screams, 'no, you don't get it! IT'S DEEP! You're too much of a knuckle dragger to understand the true vision that I've put down here. It's good! You just don't understand, I was under time constraints or something. It was the editors fault too.' Just an ending line of excuses for why the failure wasn't their fault.It's really fascinating, that this kind of egotistical cycle somehow forced its way into a published comic.
>>154762413hmmm, tits
>>154766219nta, but i could only make it through issue 1 before i just skimmed through the rest out of boredom. It is an incredible dull comic.
>>154766465And what a privilege it is to be explained to by a visionary as thought-provoking and revelatory as Bill Jemas. I'm glad he wrapped up that amazing superhero parody by issue 2 so he could reveal all the secrets of the universe to us. Surely the only reason the world wasn't saved when Marville hit store shelves was because nobody read it (due to sabotage from DC of course). If only Jane Fonda didn't brainwash the masses with her ass-lunging videotapes, we'd be communicating from AOL beacons in our flying cars right now.Thank you God Emperor of Marvel Bill Jemas for showing me the way. Nobody else at Marvel would dare; surely not the clowns that wrote Captain Marvel (a pie in the face is what they deserve). I can't wait to write an EPIC comic of my own using Jemas's brilliant advice as a compass. Usually you would have to pay college admission fees for knowledge like this, but Jemas has the generosity to hand it to me for $2.99* (unadjusted for inflation). What a steal! Do you think Disney will still honor the submission policy outlined here if I attach my manuscript with a W-9 form?
>>154762596>>154762601>>154762607hell yeah
>>154766219No. I've read things considered okay or good, and they're dogshit.
might read
>>154762715Shit’s about to go from tardy, to retardy
>>154763236I dunno, it just felt like random nonsense to me. What is this even about? It's a comedy, right?
>>154763236The covers with the girls are pretty hot. Their proportions are fucked in the actual art, though.
>>154770476If only the covers had anything to do with the story.
>>154763236New-ish I've been in these SDCCSOPs since the beggining but I've never actually "read" Marville, hell I usually nope out once Iron Man and Black Panther have their infamous page. This is the furthest I've gotten and I still never actually read any dialogue. Christ it's so fucking bad
>>154763236This is baffling. The tonal shifts are extreme, the art isn't good, the writing is conceited. It feels like reading the meandering blog of someone you don't like. This was written by the President of Marvel? What the fuck.On another note, this is not my first SoP, but I didn't know there was special week, is there a tradition or something?
>>154771663>is there a tradition or something?Yup must be close to a decade of it or so
>>154762408So who won the bet?I kid but how did Ultimate Adventures end up in this insanity? Did they need like a third comic?
>>154763236Like a few people have mentioned, the tonal shift from the first two issues to, well, whatever it turned into afterwards is just mind-boggling. I feel if it just stayed with the superhero parody aspect, it still would have been horribly dated (dig those Alan Greenspan jokes!) and not especially funny, but I don't think it wouldn't have been SoP material either. Issues #3-7 are what take it over the line.
>>154773016iirc Quesada was all "Fuck it, let me get in on this" but he had to pass writing duties to Ron Zimmerman who probably didn't give a shit about this dumbass wager to begin with and just wanted to write an edgy homage to The Green Hornet who was, like, so cool you guys.
