>yea we know the world is shitty, but buy our subscription and go watch our MODERN adaption of this old IP where you zoomers get to feel good about a corporation going down, while also giving us, big streaming corp™ enough money to stay afloat! it's a win win situation for both of us!
>>155006417Why are you advertising this? I've never heard of it until just now.
>>155006417>Netflix is bringing Helena Bonham Carter for another Wonka movie/showYou just know they're going to be animating her character sucking off a piece of chocolate like she did in the Burton movie.
>>155006417A new wave of blueberry fetishes are on the horizon.
>>155006641not gonna happen
>>155006513Which one was she in that 2005 movie again>>155006417FUCK
>>155006417The live action Wonka sequel was just cancelled in favor of this movie
>>155006417>corporate media owned by millionaire investors provides the plebs with fictional tales of taking down society's corrupt elites as a cathartic release valve so they don't feel the need to do it for realHardly a new development. But it's not a certainty that's what the plot of this movie will even be. I don't think they'll actually make Wonka the villain, it seems like he's kind of a recluse and I suspect Charlie will probably discover they're more alike than he thinks and he's not actually that bad a guy.
>>155006905Charlie's mom
>>155006437Literally my exact first thought.
>>155006417I don’t think anyone would feel good about that since everyone and there moms knows this story and no one looks at Willy Wonka and thinks “hey here is some greedy corporate tycoon” or at least that’s what I thought before I discovered just how unhinged the retards who make this shit are.
>>155007625Yeah, the synopsis about "Wonka wanting to bring some sweetness to a bitter world' kinda spells out what the entire plot will be.Wonka will be all>Oh, you kids are just a bunch of rotten, spoiled punks, bad children never change, this is why I lock up my wondrous magic factory from shitty people who will never appreciate it.And Charlie and his gang will be all>Fuck you Wonka, our lives suck. You don't know how hard we have it. We don't have time for childish shit like candy and colors, we're trying our best just to stay afloatAnd then they'll go on a crazy adventure and THEN Wonka will be all>Wow, I never realized how rough you kids have it, maybe there's a reason for the way you are, I'm sorry I didn't listen to your side soonerAnd the kids will be like>No, we're sorry Wonka. Just because our lives are tough and we had to grow up too soon doesn't mean we need to be bitter, cynical assholes. In fact, it's more important than ever that we allow joy and whimsy into our horrible lives.And then Wonka will open his factory to the public and the neighborhood will be saved and all will be well.Like this is tried and true territory. It works, but this is basically how the story is going to go down.
>>155010081>Why is this story so popular?1971 Wonka becoming a cult classic via airing on TV after its initial theater release bombed. That, and blueberry inflation.
Just hire the guy who wrote Chili and the Chocolate Factory. Much better than anything corporate drones could write (of course you’d need to do some rewrites to make it more coherent).It would be a real hit, though.
>>155008105 imagine if that was the experimental gum from the factory haha
>>155010271If you want a properly subversive take, “Wonka is le evil hyper-capitalist exploitative billionaire” isn’t it; *this* is.
>>155010460I meanThis sounds a bit like a darker version of what they're already doing
>>155008749Has there ever been blueberry inflation of Ms. Spider?
>>155011680Has anyone ever shut the fuck up about it since it happened in 2005
