>>155277109
there really isnt

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>>155277109
>HEARTBREAKING

>>155277109
Why is Doug’s kid blue?

>>155277109
So this os the alternate timeline where Patty didn’t cuck Doug?

>>155277109
But none of it good. If I'm getting the visuals right then:
>Doug is a eunuch or a cuck
>Skeeter cucked him TWICE and had a kid with another woman
>Roger fucked Doug's sister and potentially the fat lady

Clearly Quailman quails before THE BLVE BVLL

>>155277109
Brand New Cuckold Doug

>>155277109
You can't make a show like Doug anymore, because that kind of childhood no longer exists. The middle class suburban adventure zone is dead, capitalism killed it. It would be a story about some kids who stay inside and stare at their phones all day, teenagers with the math and reading skills of elementary schoolers. There would be no going out and doing things, because there's nowhere left to go. There would be no vacation episode, because its no longer affordable.
Unless you want it to be a show from Doug's perspective thats about him TRYING to provide the same life to his kids that he himself grew up with and having to face the reality that its no longer possible, there's nothing to do with it thats even remotely adjacent to the reality that anyone who would be watching this show occupies.

>>155280767
Characters like Doug are just outdated now too. If his kids acted like him they'd be mocked online just look at the zoomer reaction to characters like Abe from Clone High. Fuck if they think he's a beta loser I can't imagine what's going to happen if/when they discover Doug.

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>>155277109
Okay, we got tomboy Dirtbike, ultra cunt Judy, third and fourth Porkchop, Doug and Patti had kids from separate marriages before they hooked up finally, they obviously like Doug more than Patti, Skeeter went full unc, Chalky is someone's nurse apparently, Skeeter hooked up with a lightskinned girl and lives vicariously through his son, Roger still has money but maintaining his lifestyle is stressing him out, might be a criminal or a cryptobro, probably divorced, spoiled but rebellious daughter, Bebe had a couple kids, milfed out, let herself go and came because she has nothing going on for her beyond being a rich broodmare. Are the Dinks and Roger's goons dead? Did Connie ever get her ass back?

>>155280767
>capitalism killed it
Only in the sense that capitalism helped the internet develop into a ubiquitous part of our lives.

>>155280879
Also because the suburbs are unaffordable for anyone below retirement age and wages are too low now to do half the shit that happened in the original show. What is adult Doug doing for work that he can somehow afford the same lifestyle that he took for granted as a kid? Did he get really lucky on the stock market? Inherit a bunch of land that is he renting out? Because unless he is benefiting from a major passive income, he either needs to be a yuppie executive manager at a big company, or he can't afford a wife and kids and a car and a house without being in massive debt.

>>155280981
>the suburbs are unaffordable for anyone below retirement age
No. They're unaffordable for retards who prefer to waste money on other shit. Champagne tastes, PBR income.
My house in the city is worth far more than most suburban houses, my wife and I are by far the lowest earning family in our area and we're also the youngest to not only own our house outright but also a second, multi-family property we use for extra income.
Meanwhile, my best friend and his wife, who earn double what we do, are at risk of losing their home because they waste their money on frivolities they don't even use and therefore never managed to save anything. We're millennials and pretty much every other millennial I know who isn't in medicine, law or upper echelons of business is living far beyond their means and bitching about affordability. Maybe that $15k trip to Bali was a bad idea when you can't afford your property taxes, retard. This actually happened. One friend of my wife's complained to her about not being able to afford recent tax increases but she could afford a $15k tropical vacation that she plastered all over her Instagram for the likes. And now, she's on her other socials, crying the blues because the taxes are going up. Too bad, so sad, fuck her and most other millennials.
Stop wasting tens of thousands on shit you don't need then bitching that you can't afford housing.

>>155281164
nice larp

>>155280981
I mean I don't think Bluffington was a super high cost of living location. He could afford to get a decent sized house and raise kids there with a halfway decent job.

I'd like to see what Connie looks like. Did she become even hotter or did she went back to her fat habits?

>>155281248
Apparently it was inspired by the area around Richmond, Virginia, which is indeed cheaper than most of the country.

>>155281282
>Did she become even hotter or did she went back to her fat habits?
I'll assume this conflicted statement is the result of your ESL status.

>>155277109
>no 85 year old Mr. Bone in a wheelchair ranting at them
No fun

>>155281223
Nice self-inflicted poverty, Funkopop collector.

>>155281321
His post was perfectly comprehensible, regardless of the tense error.

>>155281447
Funkos haven't been relevant in years, anon. Find another boogeyman.

>>155281470
>Funkos haven't been relevant in years
I genuinely did not know that. That's how far removed from that sort of dumbshit money wasting I am.
I know I'm being a bit over the top but I'm just tired of so many people my age bitching to me about affordability. My wife and I are doing just fine and don't earn anywhere near the $318k average for my area.

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>>155281164
>this one person who knows another person I know is shit with their money
>which means ALL OF YOU ARE SHIT WITH MONEY JESUS CHRIST JUST STOP WHINING ALREADY SOMETHING SOMETHING BOOTSTRAPS
This is you. This is what you sound like. Are you proud of this fact, anon?

>>155277109
So is Skeeter the architect, or Roger? Because I know the original show paired Skeeter and Bebe up some times.

>>155281466
I didn't say it was incomprehensible. I said it was incorrect. Retard.

>>155281164
Anon, do you seriously not realize that most people in the US will *never* be in a position to out their house outright, much less do that and have have second property to rent?

I'm not saying that you are not doing a good job of living within your means, but you have a fucking passive source of income. You START OFF with a higher means than is available to the majority of people. You might as well be telling people that the secret to not being poor is to only limit yourself to one international 2-week vacation a year instead of two and to save your money by not buying a new car every year just because you can.

>>155277109
Are Doug and Skeeter supposed to be a gay couple in this?

>>155281561
Do at least five seconds of looking this shit up, Anon. The cost of what was considered luxury goods is a fraction of what they were 40 years ago. Conversely, average wages have stagnated and the cost of essentials like food, transportation, and housing have skyrocketed. This isn't an argument; facts don't care about your feelings. This is either giving a shit and looking, or spouting off bullshit like some silver spooned brat. Fuck commies, fuck corpocucks, and triple fuck the 'useful retards' who toe their lines.

>>155281679
I got passive income after getting the house. My wife and I bought the building on sheriff's sale. Yes, we were exceptionally lucky and we had to borrow money from my dad because you can't mortgage a sheriff's sale. We did, however, get a bank loan after to refinance the house (the BRRRR method) and used that money to pay my dad back immediately so we do actually have a mortgage on it now even though we briefly owned the building free and clear (6 months; banks require ownership for that long before they allow refinancing).
But look, I get that the vacations and cars and real estate investments are out of most peoples' reach and I realised well into my adulthood that the financial security I grew up with is not something they have. I'm not talking about them. There are legitimately poor people and I do feel badly for them but I'm talking about people from my socioeconomic class earning $200k+ and still bitching that they can't afford shit.
Most millennials I know fall into that category because that's who I grew up around. And even ones I know who earn about what we do or less are wasting money in smaller ways that add up over time. A $5 per weekday coffee habit adds up over the year. Presuming no vacation, that's 5 days × 52 weeks × $5 per day = $1300. Not a huge amount of money, sure, but it's never just coffee that they're throwing money at needlessly. It's Deliveroo/Uber Eats/Door Dash, Instacart, gym memberships they don't use, Prime subscriptions they don't actually benefit from etc etc etc. It adds up and it's money that can be better spent or invested elsewhere, up to and including saving for a home.
That's what I'm getting at.
>>155281931
>silver spooned brat
Guilty. I didn't understand that until well into adulthood but even still, people bugging out over money troubles are still throwing money away on dumb shit.

>>155277109
>Doug and Patty look the same but slightly taller and different clothes
>Chalky looks exactly the same
>two characters I can’t tell if they’re OCs or if I’m supposed to recognize them
Eh.

>>155277109

>Reboot canned
>Not allowed to be on Chibiverse

Why Disney hates Doug so much?

>>155282156
>two characters I can’t tell if they’re OCs or if I’m supposed to recognize them
Dirtbike and Judi, Doug's sisters? Or do you mean the one that's supposed to be Roger and Bibi's daughter or Skeeter's son/Doug and Patti's kids?

>>155280767
The problem is that kids adventure shows can't exist because kids can't adventure anymore. You're not going to see an 11 year bike their way across the city without a parent glued to them or outside their field of view.

>>155282401
Indeed, parents can be charged with neglect for not always being hovering. I remember seeing a case of a woman getting child services called on her by a neighbor because her kids were outside playing on the front lawn by themselves, despite the fact that the mother was washing dishes inside and was watching them the whole time through the kitchen window.

>>155282401
Well yeah they have to do that because if a child so much gets seen on the porch by themselves there's a good chance that social services get called.

>>155281713
I wish.

>>155282401
I think something people need to accept is that most kids don't want adventure anymore. They have tablets that can show them anything at a moment's notice, why would they want to go outside and discover things when they can just google?

>>155282401
>You're not going to see an 11 year bike their way across the city without a parent glued to them
I see this almost every day. You guys either don't go outside, or you live in a shitty urban/commercialized area where it wouldn't be safe or fun to ride a bike to begin with.

>>155282461
Nah, nobody cares, dude. You guys live in a bubble where you let a few random internet headlines dictate your entire worldview.

>>155277109
The only thing I want out of a reboot is simply 1 image. That's it. At best, a single episode. Not a full new series. It's over.

>>155282323
>Dirtbike and Judi, Doug's sisters?
Oh fuck. I completely forgot Dirtbike existed. I just assumed it was Judi's lesbian lover.

Also, Porkchop still being alive is so absurd that I'm actually okay with it.

>>155282523
>At best, a single episode.
This. I'd even take a like an hour-long special, just enough to tell a little story and get re-acquainted with everyone.

>>155282505
>>155282461 here I live in a shithole of a small town, my neighbor's kids used to bike together years ago but some old hag called the cops and the parents got a visit from child services from what I was told. They haven't been out on their own like that since.

>>155280767
>math and reading skills of elementary schoolers
As an elementary schooler, I remember Doug drafting a contact with Judi where the phrase "null and void" being used and Doug complaining that his hifalutin sister should've just used the word "worthless/pointless" (forgot which one it actually was) and I felt dumb for not knowing the phrase. And Doug was not a particularly intelligent show. Now, kids' programming is all dumbed down for the most blithering of retards. Teletubbies was a mistake.
>>155282401
>kids can't adventure anymore
Truth. I read an article some months ago about a woman who was arrested for endangerment because she let her kids walk home from school. As a parent myself, I thought it was fucking ridiculous. My son climbs shit and not always under our supervision. We have a few rules, though: never climb alone, never climb over concrete, never climb when it's wet or icy and tell us about every little scrape, fall and injury, no matter how minor. We won't get mad if he scrapes himself shimmying down from an oak. We will if something happens and we weren't told about it.
Apparently, our hands-off, honour-systen approach is neglectful.

>>155282553
>I completely forgot Dirtbike existed
Me too until I saw >>155280851 and noticed the duckie on her shirt. Didn't remember her name so I had to look it up.

>>155282576
oh yeah? well i live in a shithole of a small town and my neighbor's kids used to bike together years ago, but NO old hag called the cops, so they're still out on their bikes. Checkmate.

>>155282323
I literally did not and still do not remember Dirtbike. I vaguely remember Doug’s mom being pregnant at some point, but I did not stick with the show long enough for the baby to stick in my mind as a full blown character.

And yeah, for a hot second I was kinda suspicious about Roger’s daughter. She was only the second character my eyes were drawn to (I went right to left) and I’d kinda assumed all of these designs were pre established characters. The other kids are way more obviously kids of the cast but for some reason the taller green skinned girl with red hair still struck me as possibly somebody I was supposed to recognize especially after my initial assumption.

>>155282576
Old people ruin everything.

>>155282401
My town actually had a weird uptick this summer of dumbass kids bicycling in our roads. I’m glad the kids are getting exercise and being independent and all, but it’s also dangerous and annoying.

>>155282445
I watched a police bodycam video on youtube about a mother who left her children to hang out on a beach while she ran errands at walmart. Really weird to hear the narrator describe the woman as disgusting and abusive when objectively not much was happening until the cop started arresting the mom.

>>155282703
>I’m glad the kids are getting exercise and being independent and all, but it’s also dangerous and annoying.
This, desu. Whenever I was out biking on the streets, I made sure to stay as far over as I could, and keep a straight line. But for some reason, even when I'm behind an adult/sport biker, they're all over the fucking road like a toddler who just had their training wheels off.

Honestly, the thing that got ME to stop riding my bike was driving a car and realizing how stressful it is to be on the road around a biker. For some reason it just feels like they have zero preservation instinct.

>>155282553
> assumed Dirtbike was Judi's lesbian lover
Glad I’m not alone in that.

>>155282778
If my country simply had bike lanes or even just reasonably maintained sidewalks this wouldn’t have to be a problem here.

>>155282778
>For some reason it just feels like they have zero preservation instinct.
this, but for literally every person who isn't in a car. Even people out for a jog or walking their dog just can't fucking stay in a straight line. My favorites are the people who walk off to the side of the road while letting their small, hard-to-see dog wander round in the middle of the lane.

>>155282761
Gosh, people would have a conniption if they knew how I was raised. I clearly remember being 3 years old and playing/"bathing" alone in the bathtub (let's be honest, I'm a toddler so I'm just playing with bubbles, water and bath toys so if you wanna call that bathing, go right ahead) while my mother was in another room doing something else. I was supposed to sing, as loudly as I could, while in the tub. It was fun. Later, I came to understand that it was a smart move on my mother's part because it gave her time to do other things that needed doing and she knew that if the singing stopped, to check in on me.
But that's neglectful today and honestly, the only example of parental neglect, if you want to call it that, I had in childhood.

>>155282553
>>155282793
I also thought that lol I can remember Doug's mom being pregnant but I thought she had a son.

Doug Funnie growing up to be the step-father of his childhood crush's children would've hit /co/ like the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs so maybe it's a blessing it didn't get picked up. But I bet one of the story beats would've been him and Pattie having a baby of their own.

>>155282222
they wasted money on it

>>155283551
It would have been worse than Rachet getting Fly'd

>>155283446
>Later, I came to understand that it was a smart move on my mother's part because it gave her time to do other things that needed doing and she knew that if the singing stopped, to check in on me.
Yeah, that's not the worst thing imaginable. But to be honest, I'd be so nervous about leaving my toddler alone in a bathtub that I don't think I'd be able to focus on any other task. But I'm just an anxious person, in general.

When I was a toddler, my mom used to leave me completely unsupervised in the house while she slept. She had me trained to come wake her up when it was time to take me to daycare (she did not have a job). Which honestly seems fucking insane to me, especially as an adult who has been tasked with caring for toddlers in that age range, now. I couldn't imagine leaving them alone and expecting to wake up to anything to anything other than a destroyed living room or a dead child. I was too good for her lazy ass, lmao.

>>155277109
goddamn I need more fat Beebee. I love when characters like her get fat. It just makes sense. Which makes it even sexier.

>>155282222

Chibiverse crew mentioned is due rights shit, if Disney wants to make new Doug stuff then they have to pay Nickelodeon for mentioning him.

>>155284238
How much?

>>155283843
I was the baby of the family and I had an older brother with Duchene's muscular dystrophy who needed more attention than I did so I don't blame her. I didn't want to get into it earlier, but that's why >>155283446
>my mother was in another room doing something else.
She and another brother were helping my gigantic 6'8 paralysed brother out of or into his wheelchair and into or off of bed or the toilet. Or going to the school and beating the shit out of the teacher (this actually happened) for knocking him out of his wheelchair. She was a feisty little redhead lady who took no shit and had to come up with creative solutions to split her time effectively, like having me sing cartoon theme songs from 1980s Italy in the bathtub. And honestly? Not once did she ever complain about any of it.
As a parent myself now (just got in from picking up my son from school, stopping in at the supermarket and getting rained on outside) I have much more respect for how she did shit. My dad was around in the sense that he lived with us but his work would take him away for weeks at a time so it was usually just her and my older siblings taking care of toddler me and a 14 year old wheelchair bound behemoth.