>>155667119Does Paul Hang Dong?
I claim this thread for PAULNATION
Bump if you're reading.
Another fun addition to the Storytime of PAIN.Thanks for this btw OP.>>155667180>why are you here Nephew?That's still odd, even memories removed.
>>155667196I appreciate you not bothering to spoiler this OP. This reveal is ass
>amnesia>aunt may is in hospital>muh obvious evil never before seen cousin... IS EVIL???This is what ASM deserves.
>>155667220Odder still considering this comes off the heals of their family getting decimated. Peter is literally one of two family members that she has left
>>155667217>I have never hated another human being as much as I hate this man.Really? Not even Norma-oh wait, right, yeah, never mind.
>>155667217>>155667249Yeah bullshit Kelly.This is totally on par with forcing MJ to miscarriage.Fighting over the memory rights of your geriatric mother figure, fucking hell MOMMY ISSUES are the #1000 crux.
>>155667254uh oh he's got a point
>>155667254The Ben thing is a massive stretch still, but lying to May after all this time is inexcusable.Peter you fucking KNOW she can take it. You REMEMBER telling her.
This is even stupider than the Sin bullshit they pulled a few years back that reformed Norman. It makes me glad that I stopped reading comics.
WaitThey are cucking peter out of a motherWELCOME BACK PAUL
>>155667287What a fucking nothing of a story
>>155667288It's all they got.They'll cuck him out of a bad boss with Jonah next.
>>155667287Wait, that's it? That's the end of the book? What a fucking disappointment.
>>155667196>You see Peter after being randomly told by a guy who could math dnas on the fly that I'm related to you, I realized I was extremely evil, so I am the supervillain!Contrived retardation
MUH GWENMUH GWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN
>>155667310>MILESHe reincarnated into parkers nutsack ?
>>155667310I'm still baffled about naming his kid after Miles. Is Hawley that much of a secondary? Peter has closer friends than Miles for naming his son after, and that's excluding Ben and Richard
>haunted by lover of a few monthsI get being traumatized by her death but Peter's gotten 'closure' for this like a dozen times over #1000 issues.
>>155667310>milesThey barely fucking interact?There's an entire cast of people Peter would name his son after first. He'd sooner name him Johnny or Luke.
>>155667315>It's a muh Gwen storyGreat. Is he gonna mourn his dead wife MJ? I assume that MJ is the mother considering his grandson has red hair
Oh my god editorial get over this basic blonde already.
>>155667340Its mysterioHe has the itch ever since norman...yknow
>>155667339>Harry>Eugene>Johnny>Robbie>MattHell he'd name his son Steve before Miles
>>155667310why'd he name is son after the dude that really wanted to fuck Gwen and meddled with cloning?
>>155667119oh lord here it goes
Just here with a bemused smile watching a trainwreck with /co/.Thanks for this OP.
I was told this backup story was supposed to be good. So far it's just as shit as the main one, maybe even a little more
>>155667369They guy who did the early review is a massive Kellyhead and is easy to please, and even he was disappointed by the main story, and just said the side stories were worth it.Nah.
>>155667373Called itMysterio wants that web while in a blond wig
>>155667379>MUH GWEN SAINTLY LOVE REDEEMING EVEN IN DEATHIt was a dysfunctional and really short relationship based on lies for gods sake editorial let her rest.
>>155667287You don't even tell the full story? A fucking Triple H back was more important than your big ongoing plot? Jesus Wept.
>>155667119>OP used the original cover for the threadHoly based
>>155667397And then mysterio took it up the ass from spiderman just like he did from osborn
>>155667391>loved her so much that even now, sixty years later, you talk about her in your sleepWhat.That's fucking creepy.Peter you have a dead wife to mourn, why are you pining after a dead college blonde your sons age?
>>155667405>Gwensterioholy kek
>>155667402You need to remember that its all about the game anon
Man, the Spidey comics really suck now, huh?
MUH GWENMUH GWENSAINTLY GWENGWENGWENGWENSHE WAS THE ONEnevermindtheextremistsupport
>>155667418>Tfw when you shit yourself as you die
These memberberries taste weird.They went off.
>>155667410Did dead MJ even get a mention in the story? All we have to go on is his grandson's hair colour. Was the kid even named?
>>155667434There is also a picture of the marriage(?).So yeah, beyond bizarre. Gwenfag brains are obsessed with making the relationship more than it ever was.
>>155667437Damn, Molten Man just being retroactively removed from history, huh?
Someone please sit editorial down and let them gently know that Gwen never really mattered that much when alive, she was alive half the fucking time Paul was.
So all the stories are just about Peter hallucinating? wow.
>>155667217Oh. Right. That was Carnage's original name. They ended up not using it.Now they've used it.
>>155667420>nowOh anon.We're decades into the BND wild ride.And they want to take the ongoing with them.
>>155667447Newfaggots I swear to god
>>155667453Yeah but at least the Harry one is by JMD
Talk about straight garbage. Years worth of awful stories and constant shitting on Spider-Man and nothing ever changes.
>>155667447Mark is Molten ManI can't tell if this is deliberate retconning to have him in disguise at the funeral, or someone fucked up and had him colored without his metal skin
>>155667509>wrestler bringing the lone bit of happiness and whimsyFuck it let Triple H take over after Kelly
>>155667196So, did Cormac always have powers or?
>>155667291>shows them a picture of ricTom being involved and asked to comment on runs he is not bothering to follow is funny, but he has shit-taste.
Do far Amazing Fantasy #1000 was a better "anniversary/celebration" issue than this, even doing the "Elderly Peter" story better.
>>155667521Have Triple H leave WWE so he can write Spider-Man
>>155667526Demolition Man was raped in a sweltering summer of 1992
What I've learnt is the Spoffice is stocked with people who never got over Gwens death.
>>155667418This is the only story I'm reading.
>>155667254>heh, I would do the same thing>wait, it had consequences? Now I'm mad that the thing I think you should have done had negative consequences!
>>155667553It's easy nostalgiawank with fast food tier emotional elements. It's like when they milk Batman's parents for the millionth time. Quick, cheap, and easy.
>>155667443Realised that he snuck in a picture of Miles there too but none of Peter's actual friends.
>>155667560It's...Fine? But it doesn't add or say anything that wasn't already addressed in the Spidey books when Harry initially died.
>>155667571We have Peter with Miles, MJ with Dylan.They keep alluding to these relationships that they don't actually write.
>>155667418I'm gonna need to remember to crop that later
>>155667577>this was one of the pages advertised at Disney ExpoThey know what people want, and they provide only a crumb.
>>155667451Then Maximum Carnage happened.
>>155667287Skipped the story for the side ones, did they really decided to not conclude the story here?
>>155667451This was just rehashing better more emotional stories. JMD's still alright but he's really wasted with fucking Ramos.
Triple H turns out to be most competent spider man writer in last 20 years
>>155667587Yep.Writing for the trade is all anon.This will be concluded in #1003, look forward to more of Kelly spilling his spaghetti and promising it will amount to a cohesive plot soon.
>>155667553Been that way for decades.
>>155667593>wrestler understands basic crowd pleasing storybeatsAt this point that's an unknown thing
>>155667553>>155667600When did they really start going all-in on it?
>>155667613Holy hairline batman
>>155667597>lipstick on>>155667608>lipstock off, then on - and then the last story beatLOWEEEEE
>>155667532Well that was succinct
>Be clueless on Spiderman>/col/ informs me Triple H wrote a story for itHoly kek
>>155667254YOU'RE IN YOUR 30S
>>155667579In this case I'm 100% convinced that the writer is a secondary who assumed that they're close friends because of the games and movies.
Time for Slott slop making the random act of violence something more
>>155667287This feels like they had this issue finished then remembered it's a milestone issue and tacked on something else.
>>155667640I mean the writer is a secondary, that much is known
>>155667588Didn't Rawhide do some bullshit with the Avengers?
>>155667623After Spider-Man Blue and Marvels.Then things went extra crazy after Spider-Gwen. Then Marvel became obsessed with shoving so many alternate Gwen’s everywhere.
>>155667567>>155667568>>155667572Hold on, if they were there why didn't they go out and help him?
>not just a burgler>A SERIAL KILLER BURGLERSlott pls
>>155667657Some kids went raw on steve rogers hide in the sweltering summer of 1942
>>155667670What constitutes a SERIAL killer anyways. Because we've seen the hood a few times and he definitely has a rap
>>155667504Reminds me of the Wendigo story.
And that's it. If you liked this, support your LCS or whatever.
>>155667504How the fuck does Peach Momoko not know what the back of Spider-Man's costume look like?
>>155667670>>155667643What is with this obsession with taking Superhero origins and making them more needlessly complicated?Like, Krypton didn’t just destroyed, it was organized by Brainiac/Rogal Zaar.Batman’s parents weren’t just ordinary people killed, they had ties to the mob.Or some versions having Peter Parker’s dad involved in creating the spider.What does this add?
>>155667672The amount of shit-taste in these replies.DeFalco and JMD hard carrying as usual.>MJ always seemed like she'd bolt at a better offerLarsen pls
>>155667684
>>155667672>Carlie CooperNot what I would have expected out of Roger Stern
>>155667553Nah, its just cheap drama, so we can't allow Peter moving on from her (despite already doing so under Conway, but whatever)
>>155667676Its intent I thinkMafiosos can have dozen people under their belt but they do it cause of the way their biz worksSerial killers seek out victims first and grab their wallets as a memento
>>155667119I don't think a cover could've summed things up any better
>>155667684Slott has a story in this garbage, that's a bigger sin to me than the bullshit Kelly wrote. Not buying
>>155667703I'm certain he is shitposting, most of the letters are just shitposting these days.>>155667705Peter has 'moved on' like a half dozen times, and apparently doesn't move on to the point of talking about her in his sleep decades after when he is old and his actual wife has died.
>>155667696Its easier to add detail to pre existing and acclaimed work than to make new work thats gonna be acclaimedThey are talentless hacks
>>155667640The writer of that story is Noah Hawley, he's primarily a tv writer and recently wrote for that Alien: Earth showSo yes, he probably assumed they're close friends in the comics and editorial didn't correct him or assumed in the far future he'd name his kid after Miles because they're close friends in the future
>>155667672>Here's the people will didn't ask to do anything for this issue>Hope you enjoyed Bendis, Slott, Kelly, and a failed TV writer!
>>155667154>May's had a strokeSame
>>155667703Makes perfect sense, shes his ideal spider-waifu
It's really been annoying the piss out of me that he doesn't call her AUNT May
>>155667196I wonder if the rest of this issue will make this reveal make any sense at all. Cause the immediate question is "why is he revealing this now?"
STANDING OVATION FROM LOWE BTW
>>155667672>>155667678>All of them prefer Photographer PeterKek
>>155667684Thanks. It wasn't worth the time, but thanks.
MUHGWENMUUUUUH GWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN
>>155667630Obviously the lipstick transported back to the present day before Peter.
>>155667739Yeah, Like I get he needs to gloat but it would sting all the more if he just waited till May was in the ground forgetting Peter and then he can gloat.
Is the Triple H story good?
You WILL shed tears over Gwen until the end of time, you fuck!
>>155667217This is so cringey. I'd rather watch Spidey trying to crash Human Torch's beach party with web bats than this. At least we ruined them killing off Pete and replacing him with Miles. I'm sure there's was a lot of tenper tantrums over that
>>155667753It's barely a story
>>155667119My biggest problem with this "milestone" is it's totally made up and wasn't earned. ASM was on #600 a decade ago, so even with it eventually coming out twice a month, it should only be in the mid-to-late 700's. Also Marvel dropped legacy numbering years ago and keep re-starting the numbering to sell more number ones so FUCK MARVEL.
>>155667696Writers like to leave a mark by adding something to a big hero's origin. Maximum impact and harder to undo. The problem is that editors love that because big reveals and changes are what they think will get readers talking and buying.
>>155667678>Christopher Priest : Peter x MJ is doomedWhat? I don't understand.
so how does it compare to the 1000# issues in DC?
>>155667753Its more of a flashback but yesIts in top 3
>>155667287Oh look, there was literally no reason for him to go full Super Villain now, huh? Just decided to do it cause.The implication of course is that Peter fought back hard enough that he couldn't just jack everything like he did May, but it does feel pretty contrived either way.
>>155667684Spider-Man has more bad comics than good ones.
>>155667776Its dogshitIt helps that superman has built in aura that makes everything 5% better
>>155667287> Not doing a 100 page special edition for ASM # 1000> Having the gaul to even call it ASM # 1000 when you renumbered it in the first placeThey're just terrible
We need new blood so fucking bad.The Triple H story is among the best and all it does is introduce a passion for wrestling Peter has never had before.
Is Gwen Stacy the Jesus Christ of Marvel of something?
>>155667784It hasn't actually been 500 issues since #500, don't believe Nu-Marvel's lies.
>>155667672>Everyone likes Joe>Everyone likes Nathan>Everyone wants Peter back at the Bugle>MJ gets the majority voteThere's some shit takes in here, but overall it's not too bad.>>155667678I don't agree with Priest's take on Peter and MJ but I do agree with his view of Felicia
>>155667160>>155667165Ugh, this overly-dramatic retelling of ‘Loss’ doesn’t have the charm of the original’s simplicity. The unrealistic vaulting over the gurney, omitting the important shot talking to the receptionist, and worst of all adding dialogue when the whole point of the original was that it was *supposed* to be wordless. I guess zoomies have to have everything explained to them rather than figuring out the deep emotional storm Ethan is going through. Also I’m still not sold on the ‘twist’ that the miscarriage wasn’t and baby grew up, I know what they’re trying to do but it doesn’t work on me.
>>155667350Even fucking Logan, Kaine and Tony would be above Miles.
Yup, just as lame as I expected.
Bring in the vengeful next gen who give all the sacred cows of editorial the Shed treatment.
>>155667793We need new editors. Kelly's by all accounts solid but he's clearly checked out and Spencer was trying to do his damndest but wasn't allowed shit.
Bring in the new blood who grew up on the Tom Holland movies keeeeek
>>155667809I don't get it, if Lowe is as hands-off checked out uncaring as said, why do all authors become their worst selves under his regime?
So Ravage just has the magical ability to steal memories and hates Peter because.....
>>155667532Nice and wholesome.
>>155667818Because he a meanie with mommy issuesAs opposed to Petey who is a saint with mommy issues.
>>155667581ToO lATE
>>155667818not-Ares gave it to him as punishment for Peter cheating in their last fight
>>155667814>Bring in the new blood who grew up on the Tom Holland movies keeeeekI'd rather have fresh blood with a new perspective than a bunch of old guys who can't let go of the version of Spider-Man they read in 1972 and refuse to let Peter grow and mature to the point of taking AWAY his earned growth over 30 years of the book.
Honestly I'm pretty surprised they didn't make this all about Miles and Spider-Gwen in some way. I mean they have the obligatory classic Gwen wank but who wasn't expecting that. With it being an anthology it would have been mighty easy to pretend it's the whole brand and give the other spiders page time.
Schizo-Man Schizo-Man sees whatever a schizo can
HOLYFUCKINGGWENWANK
>>155667457This is the weirdest pairing
>>155667306I don't get why he would be in a nursing home if he's this able bodied. My Great Grandpa lived at home independently all 90 years of his life.>>155667315Them's some honkers >>155667324Said it perfectly
Gwenwank-Man Gwenwank-Man wanks a Gwen when he can
License this out to China for gods sake.Get him away from the Bullpen.
>>155667324Yeah like right off the bat if Pete had a son BEN is the top choice name. May was clearly for his daughter, but I'd see him name his kid Harry before before Miles. I can only make the assumption that Miles died saving saving them.
>>155667868Miles had to hear his dad cry in his sleep about gwen for 20 yearsThen he moved in and miles had to listen to old man moaning gwen while jerking his dried sausage
>Mysterio took it up his ass as Gwen for Norman in his youth>Did the same for Peter in his geriatric years
Guys I get hating Gwen but if it were up to you she would be retconned out of existence.
>>155667901Now you get it
>>155667882>License this out to China for gods sake.>Get him away from the Bullpen.Nah, DC. The Superman/Spider-Man crossover was proof that Superman and Spider-Man are a great team and need to hang out on the regular. Also DC editorial believes in MJ/Peter.
>>155667901I don't hate Gwen but I hate what the memory of her has done to ASM.I swear editorial has never sat down to read what she actually was like, her fucking personality changed three times because of MJ.
>>155667794She is to the Marvel offices
>>155667911>Superman Prime rages against the machine and punches Mephisto and insists on being the best man at the new wedding with a rescued May as a flower girlThat's your #1000 you hackfrauds.
>>155667776I would say Action #1000 is great excepting the Bendis pages
>>155667310Why'd he name his son after the fucking Jackal? Is his "son" just a younger clone?
>>155667901I'd be happy if they just made her go away. Kill off Spider-Gwen and stop having Peter whine about her all the time. He's had way more people die since her that he never mourns
>>155667913People forget how much Gwen hated Spider-Man, that ultimately would've ended in heartbreak for Peter.
>issue 1k>Barely 100 repliesWhat the fuck went so horribly catastrophically wrong
>>155667901At this point I’d fucking welcome it. Gwen has brought nothing good and her obsessive fanbase at Marvel suck ass. And she’s responsible for Spider-Gwen existing and being pushed everywhere.
>>155667936The last five years for a start.
Just resurrect Gwen, you dumb fucks. You've been running the spite game for decades at this point, just do what you want and bring back your goddess to wank like a pig to your heart's content.
>>155667911You want to know why people like dc over marvel ?Dc kept the heroic spirit aliveMarvel has world outside your windowWorld outside fucking sucks,especially in nyc
>>155667572This was actually surprisingly nice.
>>155667936It's 2 am
>>155667368>>155667373I like Pete's grandson
>>155667936It’s late.Everyone is asleep.
>>155667936>What the fuck went so horribly catastrophically wrongBecause it's not the real #1000, it's a fake, bullshit milestone by Marvel editorial to desperately sell books.
>>155667901Maybe if Marvel didn’t constantly keep bringing her up then people wouldn’t be sick of her.
>>155667249Norman worked tirelessly hard to maintain his reputation as Spidey's most hated villain, only for newcomers to continually steal his thunder. Between Morlun's debut and this new Ravage character, poor old Gobby is getting zero respect.
>>155667955Wouldn't making it good cause it to sell better? Like, through positive word-of-mouth or something?
>>155667977>positive word of mouth?What? Like Absolute? We're all in on the Brevoort enrage to engage mandate.
This seems like a cowardly and half-hearted attempt at synergy, taking May out of Peter's life like in the films and games but giving themselves an easy way to put her back in once they've had enough.
>>155667672>>155667678>Almost no Felicia while everyone else is Gwen and MJShe can't really compete with them.
>>155667974>poor old Gobby is getting zero respect.Hey, Normie's still the one who keeps coming back. People who know who the legit is.
>>155667261>My mother will be exquisiteFuuuck. Dude's oedipal.
>>155667995She wasn't even listed as an option, Gwen's brought up like she's relevant to these geriatrics.
>>155668019>She wasn't even listed as an option,Yes she was. Some of them even responded to her as an option separately to their MJ vs Gwen preference. The only one that picked her was Wolfman (because he made her)
Kinda a small detail but I kinda like how Peter’s grandson has a bit of a clef chin like MJ. Also when he’s wearing his sunglasses it reminds me of that one Dobson comic where he fakes a scenario of a powergirl cosplayer
>>155667974They're doing the retarded, un-earned "Norman's a nice guy now" thing in the Spider-Man books, so until Norman reverts back to Green Goblin-mode, he's off-limits to this story. Give it time and he'll be Gobby again.
>>155667410It's how I met your mother all over again
>>155668039I am honestly shocked that they went with evil cousin over norman going goblin again for 1k. It's a slam dunk, a meatball over the plate, and they just did this instead?
>>155667213>>155667217So just Chasm 2
>>155667664Marvels was back in 1994I could sort of see it as part of the reason but I never got the impression things got too Gwen-heavy until laterI kinda think Spider-Man Blue + Earth X (the Spidey one-shot in particular) + House of M: Spider-Man were part of it more
>>155668050Yes. We're doing Dark Web again but without the Inferno rehash parts. Do you like it?
>>155668050HOUSE OF IDEAS
>>155667310W Miles
>>155668039He had a magic lobotomy so you can forgive him his college girl killing, paralyzing and miscarriage making mischief.Everyone else in this very Human and relatable cast already has.
>>155668019>She wasn't even listed as an option,Did you even read it? They definitely added her in as an option.
>>155668049This all being a long con by Norman might have been something. Like imagine if he just pulled off a mask >>155667196right here revealing he was never a good guy and that Peter was stupid for trusting him. That might be something. Hell they could have spent like a year building up to it with Norman taking shit even further.
>>155667323nigga it's been 900 issues
>>155667287Poor, poor Kelly. He's not quite at JMS tier of getting fucked over by editorial, but fuck this is close.
>>155667397>>155667407>>155667412>In the future Mysterio wearing wig wants Peter to cum inside himSeriously at some point we are going to a female Mysterio or Gwen who is Mysterio that wants to fuck Peter because they keep doing this.
>>155668079Not for Tom.
>>155667119>Whenever Gwen Stacy isn’t on screen, Peter and the other characters should say “Where’s Gwen Stacy?!!!”
>>155667391Unc...
>>155667664>After Spider-Man Blue and Marvels.Which is a real shame because I do like those stories
>>155667794Yes
>>155668061It worked in Spider-Man Blue as a Framing device with the whole "Colors" series that Jeoh Loeb and Tim Sale did (Daredevil Yellow is Matt talking to a dead Karen Page, Hulk Grey is Bruce talking to a dead Betty, Cap White is Steve talking to a dead Bucky), plus it's left intentionally vague when Peter was reminiscing about Gwen, it could've been only a couple years after she died, I never felt like it was "modern" Peter (as in Peter in the comics when Spider-Man Blue was published).
>>155667794Either her or Jean.
>>155667418JMD KINO
>>155667285Bite thy falsely wagging tongue and keep thy liar's fingers to thyself; Norman's infamous sin plot still reigns supreme
>>155668129No this is dumber. The sin plot was dumb yes but here peter has an evil cousin he finds out about because a serial killer can track family ties somehow even if you don't know about it, the cousin also has namine powers somehow and is using them to get an old woman to himselfNorman was basically just inverted but with a different source
>No roommate MichelleIt's SHIT
>>155668114Peter and MJ are married in the ending so I don't see a reason why it wouldn't have been framed around modern (at the time) Peter
WHERE'S SKIP?!?!
>>155667298This story was co-written with AI.
>>155668087Mysterio has an android daughterSpider man will be balls deep in mysterio while mysteria pegs himMysterio will be disguised as gwen and mysteria as osbornAnd then jjj calls them a faggot
>>155667489lol it's literally the thing from the face of the Abomination Suit from Immortal Hulk. Complete with Rick Jones' dialogue
>>155668090You really think that Tom "had the final say on the marriage" DeFalco is gonna pick anyone besides MJ?
>>155668178yeah he'd probably pick carlie
>>155668178I meant Tom Holland.Tom was being lead by the nose on some of those answers, he didn't even know who Ric was.
>>155668169Mysterio is best boy and deserves better than all of them.He is the unironic messiah figure sacrificing himself to redeem editorial from their shitty shitty decisions.
I hope this sells so bad gisnep is forced to step in and fire Lowe and kelly. I know it won't because gotta have my Spidey but a man can dream can't he
If you had to summarise this #1000 in a phrase or sentence, what would you say /co/?>MUH GWEN
>>155667291>Tom picking MichelleWhat a fucking soiboy. No one likes that ugly cunt. And he's the worst live action Spider-Man>>155667119this cover is awful. Even if it wasn't a milestone issue. What is up with this absolutely abysmal art???
>>155668184Let's be honest he would've picked Michelle anyway.
>>155667261>>155667274>>155667283Where the hell are the New Yorkians to pelt the big bad with garbage so Spidey can safely lower the cable car?!?!
>>155668200>this cover is awful. Even if it wasn't a milestone issue. What is up with this absolutely abysmal art???What's weird is JRJR did the last major milestone cover (#600) and it was much better.
If the Owl House graphic novel somehow beats The Amazing Spider-Man #1000 I will die laughinghttps://leagueofcomicgeeks.com/comics/pick-of-the-week
>>155668196>Peter Parker has weird obsessions with mother figure and a dead chick
>>155668196Muh Gwen and Muh May.
>>155668188He has sacrificed his booty and must live with itIt shouldve been chameleon
>>155668196I expected nothing and I was still let down
>>155668227No one cares about a flop show about dykes
>>155667291>Tom: MichelleMichelle Gonzales and the Zeb Wells copy are my favorite Spider-Man love interests too.
>>155667119Best ones: JMD/RamosTriple H/Ed McGMomoko/MillerI feel like Lieber/Camuncoli was decent and begrudgingly I'll admit Slott/Martin's story was decent. Bendis/Immonen seems ok up until you remember Spider-Man has interacted with White Rabbit way, way more than the other two guys (has he ever interacted with Firebrand, and isn't he supposed to be dead?) and the sequence with Cap was nice... but then if he and the Avengers were there why didn't they go help Spider-Man when shit was going down with those three villains?Hawley/Gleason means well and the general idea of the story is not bad, but I am getting tired of the Gwen worship. I kind of like that Peter's grandson is wearing a suit that's getting closer to the Spider-Man 2099 design
>>155668224the pose in the #1000 issue is so damn goofy. Looks like he's shrugging.What were they thinking?
>>155667901Maybe she should be.
>>155668227That's not how they'd compare the sales, Owl House would be on the TPB/GN list while ASM #1000 would be on the monthly comic list. Only way I can think of they'd be on the same chart might be the generalized graphic novel chart Amazon updates on an hourly(?) basis
>>155667550Kek what a bitch
>>155667809Yeah, it's clear that Kelly had something in mind near the beginning, especially since he was cracking into his pet characters, but then it was>hey stop what you're doing, it's Imperial time>hey stop what you're doing, it's Death Spiral time>hey stop what you're doing, it's Movie Synergy time>hey stop what you're doing, it's #1000 timeI mean, he's absolutely not blameless. You expect this shit to happen in Big 2 Capeshit in 2026, and a better writer would navigate it better, but he's nevertheless clearly getting some degree of screwed over to where he just doesn't care anymore.
>>155668260It's meta-shitposting and I think it's perfect for the #1000 issue of this regressive hell our protagonist has been trapped in for half his run
>>155668260It was supposed to be how Spider-Man is seen from the streets as you look up at him we swinging
>>155668279He explicitly says he somehow fell into being the #1000 issue writer.Nothing is planned or coherent under Lowe.
>>155668260I don't blame either artist for that coverThis is an editorial issue
>>155667248>I like young peter parker. Good for youBecause we had to make it extra obvious that he's evil lmao
>>155667532Somehow better than almost everything else. I'm dying of laughter, I can't believe this
>>155668302I am fully converted to the idea the average person off the street would be better than the Bullpen at present, they have NOTHING left in the tank anymore.
>>155667119Me worry?
>>155667444Please let me see more of this Norman in the future. This page is glorious.
>>155668276It's a popularity poll
>>155667444>Trips of Storming Norman
>>155667248>the manager chisels me out of my moneyDid this come up in a later issue or is Kelly borrowing from the first Raimi film? I just checked AF #15 and didn't see anything about Peter letting the thief go because he got ripped off.
>Somehow a Spider-Man's story written by fucking Triple H of all people was the best one alongside Frank Miller and JMD in this issueThey really need new and young people, because this embarrassing for the Spidey Office especially for Lowe and Brevoort.
>>155668039what frustrates me is how they never did anything meaningful with the 'norman is a good guy' bit. i'd love to see some real psychological, jmd style writing on this new norm. how does a good man reckon with getting away with a lifetime of evil, scot free? does being 'good' mean he can't be 'evil' again? it was the pressures of business that drove norman to neglect his son, fire his partner, and eventually become the green goblin. who's to say the same thing can't happen again? of course, i doubt his descent into evil will be gradual. it will be an all-too-obvious 'twist' in the next landmark issue. P.U.
>>155668302Just hire the entire WWE roster to write the comics at this point
>>155668328Gold Goblin was the only book that really did anything with that
>>155668324It's one of those things that people replaced the original with, kinda like the Black Suit stuff but not as big. In the original Peter was definitely just being an arrogant prick
>>155668333i haven't actually read the gold goblin book. it's funny how willing normie is to hang with his grandpa again after norman turned him into... red goblin jr? i don't remember what his super villain name was lol
>>155668331It's not a joke, you pull a bunch of retired hasbeen wrestlers with fucked joints in the writers room and it WILL increase the quality.
>>155667995Felicia's a lesbian now, it's Marvel mandate.
>>155668350Not "people". It's the BND braintrust who are too lazy to read the original comics.
Well gents this was dumb and retarded, I'm going to go rewatch trailer park boys.
>>155668364Every single adaptation since the first Raimi movie has had Peter be wronged in some way before he lets the thief go
i enjoyed the slott/martin story. expanding the backstory of an incidental character from a landmark story is pretty cliche at this point, but i'm partial to martin's art. pretty much anything martin draws, i'll read and enjoy. i liked how the final splash was a play on the final panel of AF 15. it's funny how many of those old marvel stories ended with a tiny panel, crammed in the corner of a page. like trying to write in block letters and starting too big and you run out of room.i think i'm more sympathetic to slott than most SM fans are. compared to the writers that followed, i find his quirks a bit more bearable - he was able to navigate the marsh of editorial, and could write a story that stood on its own as a single issue. i think the main story in this ish is an example of the opposite. it doesn't offer enough story before ending on a cliffhanger.(an aside: can you believe spencer wanted to undo OMD? i mean, so do i, but i know it won't happen under current conditions.)
>>155668352The gold goblin book was norman kept trying to gaslight himself that he couldn't be evil anymore since his sins got shot out of him as he kept doing evil things and saying no I can't be evil remember I have no sins anymore but like it was obvious he was lying to himself But then everything else ignored that
>>155667676Just a couple of kills in a repeated manner separated by time. Regular murder is usually a one off event, so repeated murders are of a different criminal pattern. Serial killers always bring to mind deranged madmen, but technically hitmen and muggers who kill their targets are considered serial killers.
>>155668383>compared to the writers that followed, i find his quirks a bit more bearableWe've only had three ASM writers since him (excluding the filler arcs between runs), and I'd say of them only Wells was actually worse than Slott. Even Kelly's run I'd say is on par with Slott if nothing else
Spider-Man is shit for retards.
>>155668399Good opinion worthy of dubs
>>155668387The real reason Norman retired the Gold Goblin identity is because he couldn't fly past Temple Emanu-El without spending the rest of the day being chased by Jews.
>>155668400So it's tailor made for you then
Spider-FAGGOT LMAO
Prime please come punch this shit to noncanon absolutely everyone will thank you.
>>155668413Prime is too busy jobbing to kryptonite somehow
These memberberries taste sour
>>155668370This is not an adaptation, this is the original comics, and its the BND braintrust who have been pushing it in the original comics.
>>155668399spencer's work really bothered me. it was like slott's ASM 1000 story dialed to one million. we learn the hidden, interconnected backstories of all of spider-man's incidentals; from frederick foswell's family, to gabriel and sarah stacy. his non-stop retcons confused and upset me. why did the devil take spider-man's marriage in a trade? surely not because the devil delights in breaking the heart of a do-gooder. no, it was really because spider-man's future daughter was destined to defeat him in a nebulous, never-to-happen war between good and evil. alright man, sure.BND harry being a clone was probably the most upsetting. i started reading comics after BND - i'm sure that harry's revival was upsetting to fans at the time because it walked back the heartbreaking ending of ASM 200. but in the context of the established continuity, it made enough sense - norman came back from the dead too, after all. and harry's arc was one of the most engaging part of BND! i especially loved the twisted love triangle between harry, lily, and norman. but it turns out that wasn't the real harry at all. spencer walked back all that engaging character development. but this harry being a clone doesn't make SSM 200 any better - all those clone-harry stories still happened, and we all thought it was the real harry.am i making any sense? i always have a hard time getting my feelings across.
>>155668443>i started reading comics after BNDYour opinion is invalid
>>155667446>Pictured: The endless cycle of rage-bait vs rage-bitten. Ngl, I missed this dynamic.
>>155668352Everyone just ignores most of what Slott did. Remember when Liz was evil and working for Norman to corrupt Normie?
>ctrl f>maybelle>0 resultsBeen asking this but no answer was found so I'm asking again. Any proof that the name came before DeFalco's May Parker?
>>155668446brand new day was nearly 20 years ago. life goes on.
>>155668443>harry, lily, and norman>Lily: I fucked your dad, shitlips....Uhm. I like Stanley's existence but that was a very weird development.
>>155668452You have to ignore the meat of what Slott did otherwise you have to treat Otto as a sexual assaulter.
>>155668466No we've been spinning our wheels pretty fucking thoroughly for several decades, waiting for some oldheads to retire.
>>155667670>>155667668>>155667696>>155667637All this additional lore, and yet the Burglar who killed Uncle Ben still doesn't have a canon name in 616.
>>155668469it was a weird development, but good weird. fun to read about. i liked BND norman as this unkillable laius wrecking harry's life, and harry having to find the strength to overcome the anxiety of influence.
>>155668481i'm not sure what that has to do with my opinion being invalid
>>155668196At least the storytime thread was fun
>>155668511Nothing has happened, nothing CAN happen.
>>155668515Agreed, the odd lost Marvel intern aside it's been fun shitposting with you all.To the retirement of BND and the shooting of this entire era and its apologists behind a shed.
>>155668522Well now we have more Gwensterio contentAnd this lol >>155667831
Think we'll reach 500 posts like Prime did?
>1000TH>FUCKING>ISSUE>with half a dozen different stories>literally the only two people to acknowledge the second most prominent character to the franchise are Stan Lee's decrepit brother who was writing more of a Rawhide Kid story than a Spider-Man one and JMD (oh and a wedding photo in the MEMBER GWEN story who could forget)>the main story can't even be completed in this issue, has to be dragged out for muh trade that nobody but speculators and people without a functioning brain will wantIt gets me how I always managed to be shocked at how fucking shit the new 'big' issue of this garbage is and how I think my standards can't be any lower and yet they still fail to clear the bar sitting against the floor Marvel editorial could all drop dead on the spot and I would start cheering. I'm serious. these niggas need to DIE
>>155667672>MJ always seemed like she'd bolt at a better offerAre these people retarded? Peter is literally a gigachad superheroI knew there was a hidden reason I was never fond of Larsen's art
>>155668566Ennis couldn't write this issue with more contempt than if he tried.
>>155668591That opinion is bonedeep in current office.BND delenda est.
>>155668443While I disagree with your assessment about some of the BND stuff (the love triangle was garbage and Lily was always a whore) I completely agree about Spencer's retcons. The Harry one in particular just killed off one of the few remaining members of Peter's supporting cast for no real gain
The average porn comic is written with greater heart and characterization.Give Spider-Man to gooners.
>>155667739It seems like he's also trying to take Peter's memories of them so he can give himself those memories, or erase Peter's so he can fully replace Peter as May's child both from Peter and May's perspective.
>>155668597The couple of times Ennis has wrote Peter he actually got him down pretty well, I think.Ennis does well with the classic morally upstanding superheroes, I think he just doesn't care much for the safe edgy shit like Wolverine.
>>155667637I don't mind the overall story beats here of making Peter have a reunion with this specific officer, but making the guy who shot Ben some renown criminal is fucking horseshit.
>>155668452
>>155668615>The couple of times Ennis has wrote Peter he actually got him down pretty well, I think.There was that one Punisher story where Spider-Man gets used as a literal punching bag
>>155667926You think the writer even knows who the Jackel is?
You know things are grim when bendis is the least bad of the worst names. God, even JMD phoned it in (and was dealt a shit hand with Ramos), what the fuck is this?
>>155668630This is true, but it was a SAY IT WITH ME CLASS subversion of expectations for the mandated crossover, and the humour fits pretty well with Spider-Man at that time (he's also part of the ending arc for that particular Ennis run and is a highlight of it)
>>155668034He gives me Johnny Cage vibes, which honestly works perfectly for their grandson specifically. Their own child would likely never have that kind of personality, but someone with a secondary relation to both Peter and MJ absolutely would
dogshit, but its what people who read modern spiderman deserve.
Also, Ravage is rocking goatse on his chest. You're welcome.
>>155668452I loved that ngl. The setup is weird, but it makes sense in a dark way when you remember Liz is a loving and protective mom put in the hell-position of having Norman Osborn as a father-in-law. Norman is obsessed with legacy, meaning he’s always going to be lingering in her business, trying to get his claws into her kid(s?) and poison his(their?) minds. Stack that on top of the baggage left over from looking after her brother and the learned helplessness that came from having Harry as a husband, and running Alchemax, and her helping Osborn escape is basically a survival instinct that life has trained into her. She’s shielding the monster she should have run from because those she loves most live in his crosshairs, the law doesn't stop him, and if she doesn't play along the historically volatile man will shred their lives to pieces. To a guy like Norman, Liz is a temporary custodian of his family's property, which makes her disposable the second she stops being useful. Her son(s?) might survive because of his/their bloodline, but to him, Liz is barely better than an outsider stepping above her station. If she crosses him or tries to play hero and hand him over to the (super) cops, she's dead once he bounces back and unable to protect anyone because the system has failed to protect her and her family from a monster.
>>155668669Ok like your taste in some faggy manga is any better
>>155668674correct
>>155668644>and was dealt a shit hand with RamosTo be fair to Ramos, his work now is far, FAR better than when I was first introduced to his work on Peter Parker: Spider-Man all those years ago. Remember this shit?
>>155668688Nope. Spider-Man is still better than woke homosexuals
>>155668689I liked his goblin design and I stand by him.
Mark Millar wrote a better Spider-man book than anyone else in the past couple decades. Let that sink.
>>155668723>Marvel Knights Spider-Man was 20 years agoJFC
>>155667368>>155667373I like the grandson but why his costume looks like he went through Miguel's closet?
>>155667693how did it get past editorial too? nobody else noticed at any point in the process that Spidey's back is wrong?
>>155668763You think Lowe does anything but rubberstamp and reply to himself in letters?
>>155668763You think the editors actually edit the comics these days?
>>155668775I think he snorts coke off blond hookers in hair bands
>>155668775>>155668778>you think editorial does its jobmind
>>155668762It looks like the normal red and blue suit with spikes and extra doo-dads stuck on it. I feel like there could've been a more elegant re-design they could've gone with that would still visually read as Spider-Man.
This is genuinely depressing
>>155668723Yeah. He also made the villains cooler (member the Hydroman super suplex?), thought I am not a fan of Electro being a mass murderer or Doc Ock basically being a robot.
>>155668833Gotta remove your emotions from the equation anon and start laughing double dubs.This is just bemusing to me, BND flopping dead on the floor.
>>155668762I think they wanted to imply this costume would eventually influence the design of that Day of the Dead suit that Miguel wears decades later
>>155668843Double dubs? Look again, son. Those are quad dubs.
>>155668833I can feel the despair
>>155668854Well fuck me.You have a mathematical miracle to match your depression at the state of ASM.
>>155668843I don't actually care about ASM while that faggot Nick still at the head, I'm just shocked at how fucking lackluster and depressing everything about this is, a fucking landmark issue and all they can muster up for it is a secret fucking cousin who, surprise surprise, is a fucking villain
This issue will likely sell well because of people suddenly hearing that ASM hit 1000 issues, or want a cover, so I kind of expect that it'll sell well for the week, maybe even month unless Absolute Batman outsells itBut I'm not really hearing any excitement for the main story even outside of here.
Where are the hot women?I'm used to DC.
>>155668833Just go back and read a genuine, really good anniversary issue like the four 30th Anniversary books from the 90's or ASM #500 which in retrospect feels like a nice, natural conclusion to end reading Spider-Man before all the shit started going down.
>>155668863The only ones who care about the story at this point are cattle>>155668865They ruined their characters, don't bother reading
>>155668862It's almost impressive how hollow it was. Like if they just stuck to the big villain fight, maybe Pete returns May's memories or maybe he doesn't, that would at least feel like a story. This doesn't even feel like a comic.
>>155668863It will sell well for collectors, but it got outsold already by fucking transformers.There is NOTHING in this story. This make filler look appetizing.
>>155668868Many people say consider ASM 'finished' at #500 and the rest fanfiction of wildly varying quality. And considering how far removed it is from the original creators, yes it is fucking fanfiction.
>>155668863>>155668878The $10 price tag is too steep, even for casuals.
>>155668817That's just a shittier Ben
>>155668350>It's one of those things that people replaced the original withNot in the comics.>>155668370Again, not in the comics.
>>155668872Nick's here to stay so expect more of this shit, at the very least I think he's learned his lesson not to tolerate shit like Paul again, but who knows
>>155668350>It's one of those things that people replaced the original with,Where? or are you somehow thinking of AUs like Ultimate Spider-Man, because I don't recall them changing 616's origin to reflect the movie origin back then.
>>155668886It's on a second 'reprint' and has 400,000 sales already - however it will still be likely outsold by your average Absolute Batman and other comics of infinitely better quality.ASM will continue on managed decline under Lowe who will not fucking go, collectors letting the rot get even worse because the speculative buffer keeps the market correction from annoyed audience in check.
Scalpers, Variant Covers collectors and "muh spider-man" are carrying this book hard.
>>155668904sales or shipments? Because I can see Marvel putting in an order minimum for a milestone. Not to mention all the variant bs
>>155668723I remember some other anon saying this but Mark Millar at least understands spectacle and how to use it in his capeshit comics correctly to make things feel impactful (even if the underlying writing stinks otherwise)The revolving door of BND writers stink at this, they can't even dress up their OC donut steels well enough to make them something that people MIGHT be interested in revisiting later. The closest they get to it is the Gage-backed Slott shit (with Gage doing most of the heavy lifting) but even then I think the only stuff people care about nowadays from that period is the IDEA of Superior Spider-Man and Mister Negative. Genuinely like three memorable things in 20 goddamn years of writing this comic. Incredible stuff
>>155668904Absolute Batman is selling about 500k a month, so yeah. This book is also quite bad, I don't think this will be the huge reestablishment of the book like maybe they had hoped.
>>155668918>Because I can see Marvel putting in an order minimum for a milestone.Pretty sure that's exactly what they did.
>>155668925I think I'll even give Slott credit that he knows how to make events feel big. It's not great material, but Spider-island? Ends of the Earth? Better than this snoozefest.
If I die call me
>>155668916They 'are' the book audience.Slott on CBR is advertising the various variant covers, the kind of shit Stan and co were making fun of in their Letters as being beneath them.
>>155667225>Weaponised love
Kill Lowe
>>155667693She's a shitty artist that's why.
>>155667457>>155667467UOOOOOOOOH!
>>155667504>Spider-man save a loli.
>>155668489it was rio morales brother
>>155668591They're nerds who are also influenced by Stan's flighty go-go dancer. They literally cannot wrap their heads around the idea of someone pretty and glamorous not being vapid whereas Gwen was the girl next door and thus more attainable while still being pretty.
>>155667693She knows, I think its just her take on it. Pic related.
>>155669075>Gwen was the girl next door and thus more attainable while still being pretty.Well that was one of her personalities.
>>155667753He didn't write it so who cares? At most he came up with "Peter watches a wrestling match" while the other guy did all the actual writing.
>>155668591>Are these people retarded?The answer is almost always 'yes'.
>>155668591She was like that before Gwen's death. But then again, Gwen started as a queen bee who always get the boys she wants.So really, it depends on what comics they've read.
>>155669090>She was like that before Gwen's death.man, almost like that was a major inciting event in her development and her future relationship with peter. OF COURSE SHE WAS LIKE THAT BEFORE GWEN DIED!
>>155669096BND like to romanticize an era that never really existed, and don't do a good job of recreating.
>>155669116I think they just forgot who Gwen was.Remember that their ideas of a flawed Gwen is not the Gwen that supported a racist politician or the bitch she was at first, but the Gwen that had sex with Norman.
How long realistically until ASM is readable again?About a decade from now when BND is finally purged or outsourced to China?
>>155669135At least 5-10 years, likely more.
>>155667119I like how even Peter on the cover cant be asses to give a fuck. He's web-shrugging.
Not gonna lie I thought this thread would be way more fun, I guess ASM 1000 is just that shit
>>155667119JRjr really managed to represent my feelings with this cover.
>>155669171We're just tired anon.There's only so much you can make fun of tired Gwenstans in the office and a main plot even a soap opera parody would find lazy.Even our shitposting is phoned in.
When the fuck is this taking place in relation to QiB?
>>155669217Lad there's like four apocalyptic event comics going on and none of them matter, we're fighting over amnesiac elderly people here.
>>155669135>outsourced to China?Imagine this shit getting a Chinese audience.
>>155668925Millar was big into the "cinematic" style of comic. People complain about this, rightfully so, but its better than the other extreme which is a massive dialogue box of exposition explaining what happened off-panel.
>>155669228Chinese audience would have the heads of Spoffice on pikes for the Wells arc.Look at the nonsense they pull for Love and Deepspace.
>>155668050Chasm is basically Venom 4
>>155669240>Chinese audience would have the heads of Spoffice on pikes for the Wells arc.The Spidey Office is in the US though, so the chinks couldn't even if they wanted to. They'll get a tsunami of death threats, though. A couple of them will get doxxed, too.
When they showed the previews of her losing her memory after a stroke I thought it was really lame.Would have been better then what we got desu, at least there is some potential for drama/character development with May genuinely starting to lose her mind
>>155669257Acual dementia would be relatable, so would a stroke.This is far more relatable, secret cousin fist-fighting over a geriatric mother figure.
>>155669260It's fucking stupid because Cormac thinks being May's son works on Highlander rules when really May was thinking "Holy shit, two sons!"
>>155669217After, since ASM ties into to the aftermath of Armageddon soon
>>155667532This is giving me the same energy as Spider-Man at the Mets game in The Wall and I love it, thanks Triple H, you’ve not only exceeded Ultimate Warrior as a comic writer but quite a few current pros as well.
>>155667537>Rocket RacerWait, the kid from TAS who got the skateboard from Kingpin?
>>155667548>White RabbitNice, love to see my favourite girlfailure villain.
Maybe if Sipder-man fans could learn to grow up and move on from Spider-Man, Marvel might finally learn they have to put effort into the character again.Other-wise you're just asking for the constant humiliation ritual
>>155667952shame he doesn't get a name. we should give him, bonus points for him not being named after an existing character
>>155669382In the comics he gets it from The Tinkerer and has a bit of a feud with Big Wheel. Spidey gives him like a dozen chances to turn his life around and he eventually becomes a merc for Sable, a hero and finally an engineer. Which is what he cares more about since it's easier money than putting your life on the line. Plus he has to pay for the college tuition of his siblings.
>>155667315>>155667323Fucking lmao, why is he even entertaining this shit? "Gwen" has been brought back by his enemies like 5 times before he even hit 30, I'm positive this shit must already be in the double digits by his current age. It should be as familiar to him as the return of the Goblin or having to crawl back to the Bugle.>BUT MUH GWEEEEEEEN
>>155669496MUH GWENTALKS ABOUT HER IN HIS SLEEP AT AGE GERIATRICJUST LIKE THE SHOGUN-SAMAMUH GWEEEEEEEEN
Civil War was the worst thing to ever happen to Spider-Man and resulted in near 2 decade turd still lingering all because a former EiC couldn't handle his divorce well
ACTION COMICS #1000 AND #1100 WAS BETTER THAN THIS PIECE OF SHITSUPERMAN CROSSOVER BY DC SHITS ON THIS GARBAGE #1000FIRE EVERYONE AT MARVEL
>>155667397>>155667401FUCKING HELL HOW MANY "FINAL GOODBYES" DOES THIS MAKE NOW?!I swear we just did this exact same beat during AXE: Judgement Day
>>155667408A lot of mixed feelings with this one.I like pretty much everything about it save for its obsession with goddamn Gwen. Old Pete is cool, Old Mysterio is cool, I actually really like the grandson. I would have absolutely loved this story but the Gwenshit absolutely ruins it.Worst thing is that it's not even necessary. Just make Quentin give him MJ visions. It would justify Peter's feelings AND make people easily believe that he's starting to hallucinate about his dead wife. Could've also give Miles (Miles? Fucking really) a bit more more of weight as he shares with Peter the pain of his mother's loss.
>>155669535He was never divorcedBut how fucking terrible is OMD that for decades, everyone believed Quesada was divorced
>>155669565Didn't we get a goddamn FINAL FOR REAL send off of Gwens actual soul in Wells run?
>>155669568old man Mysterio, conceptually, feels like a cool villain for a story like this, but i dunno. something about him in the story doesn't land for me. i do appreciate that he ultimately quits of his own volition though
>>155667237Are those guys in the bottom panel meant to be CB Cbulski and Lowe?
>>155669568Old Pete is a creep obsessing in his sleep about the college blonde he couldn't let go apparently.
>>155669580isn't there currently a Gwen clone running around too or some shit? from that lame Gwenpool mini a while ago
>>1556695926 of themThe last one, the one you're thinking of. Is the head of the original clone with a clone body.
Well boys we did it, 500+ posts for a Spider-Man storytime finally.And almost all of it shitposting apathy.
>>155669543Correction, KINGDOM OF ZOD FINALE SHITS ON ASM #1000
muhmuh gwen
Spider-Cattle will never recover from this issue lmao
They made Theresa Parker not related to Peter for...this?
>>155668489It's Joe Burns
STANDING OVATIONBRAVOLOWE
>>155667225This is so dumb. If you take even one moment to ask "why" to any of this, the story falls apart.
>>155667287Fuck. At least finish the shit story. This is somehow even more insulting.
>>155669791Writing for the trades means a shit story lasts thrice as long anon.
>>155667447Fuck you.
>Main story for issue 1000>Peter doesn't get to win his fightFuck Kelly and everything about him.
Gere is my idea to fix 616 ASM
>>155669814Peter as a rule isn't allowed to solo win his fights in modern ASM.
>>155669833Nah Kelly gave false hope at the start by having Pete body Rhino, Hobgoblin, and Itsy while drugged out of his mind.
>>155667643They already did that decades ago with the "he was looking for mobster treasure hidden in the house" Mysterio story.
>>155668458anyone?
Why don't the best artists in the industry work on the biggest Marvel book? It feels... odd how few great artists work on ASM
>>155667526>oh uh here's a wwe logo btwKekAlso yeah Crusher, my HERO draws dimes.
>>155670026You'd like to be crunched for time multiple ways a month for crumb pay on shit stories?
>Gwen fatigue was real in the 90s>It's only gotten worse since then
>>155667672Tom and JMD out here with the real opinions that matter.
>>155667678>Oh btw Gerry diedOh ok? So the guy who orchestrated the thing you guys love referencing so much gets nothing?
>>155667772>What? I don't understand.Christopher Priest is the editor that said MJ was a whore that should only show up in ASM to be a good lay and nothing more as she doesn't deserve to be his wife as she has too many "bodies" to be pure enough for Peter
>>155670116Bullpen never beating the Good Ol' Boys club allegations.
LOWE IS A FAGGOT!!!!!!!!1!!!!111!!!!!!!!
>>155670122I feel like even Shooter and some other old-timers would take objection to that statement by Priest, they never seemed the type to think that lowly of women or at least they knew to not speak like that openly.
Reminder: When I or other zoomers take over, we're renumbering back to issue 528 or something like that where Civil War is nipped in the bud and none of that shit impacts anything. We could go further back for Avengers books and undo Disassembled.
>>155670184Based.Go maximum scorched and salted earth, treat BND with as much respect as Quasimodo gave the marriage with OMIT.
>>155669841He didn't beat Rhino though, Rhino collapsed due to unrelated plot shenanigans, Peter sprained his arm slamming a semi-truck on him, which Rhino shrugged off. Peter wasn't experiencing any symptoms of drugging at that point either.
I'm not reading this shit.
>>155667187Spidey sense didn’t warn him?
>>155670263Spidey senses job worse than the penance stare.
>>155669568You know, Pete's grandson must really love him to help him like this and not feel like shit because his grandpa gives more of a shit for a girl he dated for a couple of months than he does for his grandma
>>155667139>>155667143Nuke these Paulfags Putinchad.
Peter should just marry Aunt May and retire. Clearly she's the love of his life.
>>155667457>Frank MillerWho let him back in the building?
>>155667548>>155667561Peter's right about this one. Basilisk really nailed it.
>>155670184based broccoli heads.Civil war with the unmasking was the beginning of the end
>>155670434It's such a pity because in another less ridiculous universe, that would be the start of a hell of a shake-up with Peter and MJ on the oust, possibly even with MJ getting pregnant or them finding May for even more plates in the air.DeFalco is right, the more responsibilities you give Peter, the more interesting he is. The white noise you hear in response to #1000 is because Peter is effectively a NEET fighting for the rights to his Aunts tendies.
>>155668260>the pose in the #1000 issue is so damn goofy.I don't know what you're talking about. It looks completely normal.
>>155667196What are the fucking odds that Peter's long lost cousin is a super villain? Capeshit is so fucking stupid.
So, cormac did this memory crap to his own/adopted mother...Why the fuck fo they keep getting the address wrong? It is NOT ingram St, it is Austin Ave!The Burglar's last name is Carradine! His Daughter is Jessica and she dated Ben Reilly for a little bit.
Please tell me sales hit the "embarrassingly low" target.
>>155668868I have all 4 of these. Feels good. ASM especially since that actually is worth more now due to people realizing an early Miguel appearance is in it.
>>155667278Well, he told her in Spider-man 2 and it was done well. But that's a movie written by non-retards and Peter is allowed to grow as a character.
>>155670542May also got to know during JMS run and it let May actually have something to do.But all characters were stronger prior OMD enshrining shallow storytelling in perpetuity.
>>155670526It's probably not going to be like that. There are always drones who will buy shit like this because it says 1000. Same with BND the movie. Goddamn I hate how that made a billion or 2 or whatever. Ludicrously awful and everyone rightfully took issue with Jean having an undeniably woman moment that is as bad as 60's Jean being a lightweight. But y'know at least the lightweight going "oohhhh" and fainting wasn't an awful person.But anyway, it's gonna do like a couple hundred thousand, Lowe's gonna gloat about that (sad and pathetic) and yeah hopefully 1001 and all subsequent issues will tank through the fucking floor and all those fags who say 1000 is my last issue actually mean it. These are the "gotta have my batman" crowd but for Spider-Man except Spider-Man has tanked so badly due to Lowe-Quality that I don't think that will last too much longer.
>>155670552Yes, that's true, but it was retconned because Peter has to be a manchild loser forever.
>>155670526It's a managed decline milestone, it will for one issue be comparable with the average Absolute Batman in sales, and then collapse even lower than before.Now keep in mind fucking Transformers sold an issue with more sales than this.
>>155667196Cringe.
>They're MY mommy and daddy, not yours!Is this really how we should be celebrating the 1000th issue of the world's coolest hero? They've been infantilizing him since forever but this is foul. And it could've worked if written in a mature way, but it's so childish
>>155670526It really tells you how toxic fandom has become when all they do is wish the comic crashes and burns in sales.
Bro ravage is so cool he LITERALLY aura farms!
>>155670803Peter wishes he was as dapper as his cousin, who inherited Uncle Ben’s rizz.
>>155670772>muh toxicThese are not good comics, but because of the name brand being too big to fail and speculation the juggernaut keeps on despite being managed decline for decades.There could be actual art and stories here, but instead we are being sold a poor parody of superhero slop.
Marvel Intern slips in right as the thread dies.MUHGWEN
>>155667572The idea of Steve taking the time to ask Peter about his uncle is a very nice bit of characterization that shows the human aspects of Cap that makes him inspirational and beloved back when heroes were allowed to just be inspirational and beloved. Alongside the banter during the fight I don't hate this story. With that said, Anons have already pointed out that a big explosion filled fight on 'the most crowded street in America' would probably draw the attention of the Avengers having a big party just a few blocks down the road.>>155667621I want to like this story because Martin's art is great and it's a cute concept but the first few pages showing how awful the mugger/murderer is and how it's fucked up the police captain (I'm also pretty sure captains wouldn't be the ones chasing him down the hallway) so much reads like a Robot Chicken sketch or that deleted scene in Austin Powers with the henchman's family. It's SO melodramatic that it loops around into dark comedy.
>>155667588Okay I’m enjoying this story, but then again I do like cowboys.
>>155667310Miles probably died and Peter named his son after him
>>155667630Give this man a No-Prize award.
>>155671001Slott pls it's like two pages and the story ends on it being pointed out as a detail.
>>155667300>be spider-man>still gets abandoned by your kids to live in a shitty nursing homeDo americans really? It's actually sad
>>155671061Happy family life and support?In our modern ASM?
>>155667684I enjoyed a couple of stories, I might get it
Meanwhile…..
One time I saw Slott and Lowe rawdogging each other. It was in the middle of the bullpen. Ziglar was there too, doing it to Brevoort and Ewing. I guess that's why it's called the BVLLPEN now.
>>155671091>wasted potential, the series
>>155671091Holy garbage design, with an artist's wasted effort rendering it Batman!
>>155671061It’s weird because he’s still healthy, fit because of his powers, and very much cogent in thinking. Enough to notice something is up and not fall for the ruse at least.It really is weird he’s not living on his own or with his family.
>>155671183Aunt May can do it but Peter can't because we need Mysterio for our plot.
>>155668200>Soiboi>for picking his wife.Anon....
>>155671091Imagine if instead of this bullshit we got one of the other teased Venoms. Madam Masque fighting Iron Man with a AIM empowered symbiote.
>>155668540choking fists sounds "bump" absolute kino prime and witchfire are a great couple.
>>155667180...how the fuck does she remember son she never rised?
>>155669568Yeah grandson spider-man was cool actually.Inb4 they ruin him in shitty spiderverse crap
>>155667187I wonder if Peter thinks "god, I could have let her just die, but noooooo, sold my marriage for this..."
>>155669467Ah thank you, I’ve only read bits of S-M on /co/.
>>155671410Considering he can steal familial memories and create objects from them and his adoptive mom went through this shit he might have ripped her familial love for him out and shoved it in Aunt May.
>>155671297Lame.MJ or bust.
