>tfw mom's friends are downstairs tipsy on wine and i need to get some protein from the kitchen before the protein window closes but i know they'll ogle me and tell me to flex and take my shirt off
>>77301711Yeah go feed them some protein downstairs if you now what i mean
>>77301711You better hide out in your bedroom and wait till their gone
>>77301711And then you wake up and they all clap and laugh when they see the spaghetti you tripped over
>>77301711They're all fisting each other downstairs.
>>77301711I would give myself a chub and go down shirtless, what's wrong with you fags?
>>77301711>avoiding drunken milfsthey expect one of us in the wreckage
>>77301824This place is full of closeted - and not so closeted - homosexuals and virgins, what did you expect?
>>77301711tfw I never have opportunities like this.
>>77301711I don't believe you. Stop making things up.
>>77301824seconding this jogging pants no undies with a swinging chubby equals definite mires. that’s how i do my grocery shopping
>>77301711GO GET EM TIGER
>dad's friends are over and drinking beer again>if i go down for my ice cream (i had a long week and i deserve it) they will touch my tummy and ask me to show them my breasts
>>77301711>Not losing your virginity to one of your mom's friends
>>77302759>your mom tells me you're so much stronger than the other boys
>>77302782I'm not joking, I lost my virginity to my mom's friend while I was in high school (she was in her 30s). She was so chill with me being a nervous faggoty virgin and didn't mind all the spaghetti falling out of my pockets. Bonus points if she had her tubes tied, you don't have to wear a condom.
>>77302782Fuck you nigga. I just jerked off twice today
>>77302803>come on champ, I know you can get here again
>>77302796Can confirm. I was 16 and hanging out at a all night outdoor party. Bonfire, live band, dance floor, all kinds of foot traffic from town and cars and trucks parking everywhere.My buddy's mother was there drinking. I didn't know her but she knew me somehow. Drunk she was really hanging on me and pretty soon I was grabbing some hard tits and nice ass, kissing as we stood in the dark.Pretty soon we walked away up the hill, and it was dark and cold. She dropped her pants and took an amazing piss in front of me. We walked on and started making out. I ended up fucking the hell out of her she was so tight.The next week I found it it was a classmates mother who has been giving it up all over.It was so good. I never saw her again.
My mom told me her dad took my uncles to a brothel when they were 16 to make them into men. I asked her why I didn't get the same treatment and said American prostitutes are too treacherous to trust.
Some men are into younger women, some women are into younger men. Been that way for centuries.
>>77302828And then you woke up
>>77302712
>>77301877I'm actually a cuck but that's only because my mom mentally abused me as a kid.
>>77301877Pretty much
>>77301711Hopefully you have an empty pissbottle in your room so you don't have to leave
>>77301711PASS THE FUCKING CONTROLLER
