I have been doing drugs like its my job for the past 15+ years. I mean constantly fucked up daily on multiple substances from methamphetamine to robitussin. It has clearly done a number on my health, and life, and i resolved to change. I am making big strides but i backslid again. But just so yall know, i went 8 months straight sober, 4 months ago. Since then i have been relatively sober, occasionally buying little bits of hydrocodone but yeah, even that is backsliding. Nevertheless like two months ago i got back into meth. Was doing it like 1-2 a week and propylhexedrine like 1x a week ( propylhexedrine is meth that uses the peripheral as opposed to the central nervous system btw … its deadly stuff… never worth it )Well two nights ago I took too much, was awake too long and was already too unhealthy to begin with. I got to work after being awake for three days. I had hydrated and eaten and taken fairly good care of myself besides this.Nevertheless, about an hour into work i was already too weak to even lift a shovel. My entire body was buzzing with a numb feeling, including my deep chest. I went to sit at a lunch table because i knew i had gone too far somehow. Well, i began seizing up, but not like shaking. Like my arms started to curl inward and it HURT LIKE FUCK. I had no control to stop them. I stayed like this, shaking slightly in this vegetable pose for like 30 minutes, occasionally bolting upwards to restart my heart by screaming bloody murder. Throughoit all this i was totally aware and people say i was in my right mind the whole time. I remember all of it. The ambulance arrived after about 30 minutes and i proceeded to have this symptom for like 5 hours straight at the hospital. It just kept hurting worse and worse and i was getting more rigid, my blood pressure and heart rate following the pain.
>>77366163Im pretty damn sure i was consciously controlling my life and death by being smart enough to stress my peripheral system when my central was in pain and vice versa ( and most importantly, relaxing completely if possible and maintaining steady breath ) For 4 hours, when i felt extreme pain in my left arm i would squeeze my right arm and focus on it and it would actually balance it out somehow. But it was very complex and hard to explain. The electricity between the brain and the heart even became a crucial part of the ritual i was doing- and believe it or not - an item jumped off the table during the chaos. I truly believe i was fighting for my lifeMy theory as a former emt ( which means i dont know almost anything but i do know SOMETHING ) and mainly as an autistic researcher with good recall….I think i saved my life by balancing out this seizure of my two nervous systems. If not a deadly heart attack then a permanently damaging stroke. But throughout it all i knew exactly what it was and what to do, and when i made tiny mistakes ( rare because i was scared almost to death no pun intended ) the exact symptoms i was fighting against would present. Every single way i acted during this confirmed my own theories. And made me never want tk get high again. I truly believe that for a short time i was not my brain, nor my heart but the electricity between
>>77366163>I have been doing drugsfaggot
>>77366178Yeah its bad man. It has ruined my life in most ways
>>77366163>I do drugs>some druggie shit happened>I dont understand what's going on with meok then
