Do you guys have any good lifting jokes?
you're one rep max
>>77601943Dr. Mike walks into a gym.>that's the joke.
>>77601947who is max and why is he nicknamed that?
knock knock>who's theredumbell >dumbell whodumb bellhop who forgot your luggagethis works best if you're a self deprecating bellhop returning luggage to a patron.
>>77602499i chuckled
>>77601955
>>77601943Science based.
>>77601943yeah here’s a good one>go to the gym brah, it’ll fix your fucked up childhood, your social awkwardness, your fuckugly face, AND your bank accountor something
>>77602557lets break it down>go to the gym brahobjectively, wont do you any harm, you should do it, even if just to stay healthy>it’ll fix your fucked up childhoodnothing will, you either have to grow up or kill yourself, no other option here>your social awkwardnessid you look good, if you feel good, you WILL be more confident, obviously you wont become charismatic overnight, but it will help you start talking to people more often and more openly. over time you will get better at it>your fuckugly facea fit body can draw some attention away from it, but regardless, theres many ways to make an uglt face look better. not talking about looksmaxxing, different hairstyle and a beard can transform you more than you think>AND your bank accountyeah, it wont do anything about that, youre just gonna have to figure out a way to make money, cant help you with that
>>77601947Your testosterone levels
Are you a gynecologist?>noCUZ IM A SIK CUNT
are you a paleontolgist?I have a large bone for you to unearth
why is your overhead press never good enough for you? because you're always raising the bar.
>>77602573lol>>77602576>>>/lgbt/
I befriended a wild pack of boomers at my gym. I was doing stairmaster one day and one guy walks up to me and says something like "you're really working hard at it today, huh". While I as huffing and puffing I responded "Yeah, I forgot my darn keys up on the roof again."They were roaring. Remember it like it was yesterday
>>77601947Chortling
>>77601955You’re one rep max because you only do one rep, max.
>>77603028breddy gud
>>77602992Surprisingly wholesome
>>77603028n i c e ice
>>77601943>decline benchDo it anyway
Fitness? More like fitness dick in yo mouth
What do your mother and a new gym have in common?
>>77606594Nice racks
Why is it dangerous for Where's Waldo to lift weights?Because he never let's anyone spot him
>>77601943Why do leftists have such juicy thighs?>because they squat a lot
>>77601943yeahyou
what's the difference between a front squat and a back squat?the placement of the bar
Speaking of squats, a guy in a thread about the girl who died in New York running her first marathon posted that he once had what she had, rhabdo, and that he was pissing out black liquid. He didn't go to a doctor, and when asked why here's what he said:"I just figured it was my muscle breaking down from over-exerting and being peed out. Also I was in jail at the time. By the time I was out like two days later it had stopped. A little Mexican dude who was in there for driving drunk fifty times and he challenged me to a contest where you put down a playing card with a squat then pick it up with a squat, then put down 2, etc. Also I'm not a pussy and don't die from pussy shit. The beaner could fucking squat, man, and I had to rep the white race."
>>77603028Kek thats a good one>>77601947Fpbp
>>77601947
>>77601943
>>77607615>2018I'm sure they're all gone by now.
A bell walks into a bar
>>77602499you must be dressed as “the doorman” from deadlock while telling this joke.
>>77602573lol
>>77601947No, I am not.Delete this post immediately.
Reading this thread verbatim to whichever unfortunate foid occupies the squat rack next to me
>>77608397best and jokepilledread her this: >HER ASS>MUH FACE>NUFF SAID
>>77608397A son and his father are taking a bath together. The son asks his father; Dad, why is your peepee different from mine?The father replies; Well, yours isn't erect, son.
>>77608397A son and his father are taking a bath together. The son asks his father; Dad, where is your peepee? :DDThe father replies; as your motherThe son says: but she's dead?The father says: I know.
>>77608397A son and his father are taking a bath together. The son asks his father; Dad, why is your peepee different from mine?The father replies: Well we had to cut yours off in accordance with this new bill they passed in California
>>77608397A son and his father are taking a bath together. The son asks his father; Dad, why is your peepee shooting white pee?The father replies; Because I'm CUMMING AGHHHHHHHHH FUCK OH SHIT AGHHHHHH FUCKKKKKKKKKKK HOLY SHIT YOUR LITTLE ASS IS SO HOT WTF
A son and his father are taking a bath together. The son asks his father; Why is your pp big?The father replies; To begin with, we're not what you'd call "human." Over the past 200 years, a consciousness appeared layer by layer at the crucible of the White House. It's not unlike life started in the oceans four billion years ago. The White House was our primordial soup, a base of evolution. We are formless. We are the very discipline and morality that Americans invoke so often. How can anyone hope to eliminate us? As long as this nation exists, so will we.
A son and his father are taking a bath together. The son asks his father; Dad, why is your peepee different from mine?The father replies: because I can bench 2pl8s and you cant lmao>being this DYELcouldn't be me - summarized the father.
A son and his father are taking a bath together. The son asks his father; Dad, why is your peepee different from mine?The man replies: ffs this is a public shower stall get the fuck out you schizophrenic faggot
>>77603028Boomers are pretty funnyThe best one I heard was one saying "I need a haircut" and then a random guy on the other side of the gym goes "I need hair"
A son and his father are taking a bath together. The son asks his father; Dad, why is your peepee different from mine?The father replies: cause your dum ass ho mom likes thug dick, nigga.
Two men and a priest walk into a gym. First they do squats: the first man does 315lb, the second does 225lb, and the priest easily does 495lb. Impressed with the priest's squat, a couple people start watching them.Then they bench. The first man does 225lb, the second does 180lb, and the priest easily knocks out 405lb. Even more people start watchingNext they do hip thrusts. The first man does 135lb, the second does 175lb. A crowd gathers around to see how heavy the priest will lift, but the priest only does 90lb.Confused, one of the onlookers asks the group why their hip thrusts were so weak compared to their other lifts.The first man answers, "My wife weighs only 100lbs, so by doing 135lb I know that I'll have the strength for her to ride me as long as she likes"The second man answers similarly, "My wife weighs 140lb, so by doing 175lb I know that I'll have the strength for my wife to ride me as long as she likes."The priest begins his answer, "My altar boys only weigh about 60lb..."
>>77610738saw that punchline a mile awayget better
A son and his father are taking a bath together. The son asks his father; Dad, why is your peepee different from mine?The father replies: because I didn't troon out you retarded faggot zoomer enjoy your "neovagina" lmaoThat father was Albert Einstein
>>77607615>>77607623HOLY shit believe it or not, I made this post back then, knew it was SS’d but never thought someone would still have it…time flies so fast bros..enjoy life now that you can
A son and his father are taking a bath together. The son asks his father; Dad, why is your peepee different from mine?The father replies: because you didn't clean your ass again nigger. Now clean it up with your whore mouth
>>77601943Asked my Gymnist friend to do a Flip and now he's a father.
>>77609624am i slowly turning into a boomer for laughing at this
