Any bidet technology experts around? I want to get into poop rinsing, I don't have space for a second pot so it'll have to be of the add-on types.
>>108991614i've only ever used that handheld bidet because those are everywhere here in Binland and they're good. I'd imagine the other options require more maintenance and clean up so i'll just continue with that.
>>108991614just shower after you poopoo
i dont think i can use a bidet cause i have chronic explosive diarrhea so i think i would get the nozzle dirty
>>108991654the handheld ass shower is your friend
How exactly are you supposed to use the handheld sprayer. Between your legs while you sit on the toilet? Squatting in the air over the toilet? Doesn't it spray everywhere?
>>108991614Handheld is universal, you can use it for bathroom maintenance in general, but you have to wash the thing and it's hose from time to time, with a sponge and soap, then wipe the floor etc, it's a bit messy, but worth it. You have to clean your bathroom at least weekly anyways.
>>108991663how do you use it? i think i would spray the poop from my anus to my balls
>>108991638Golden shower is enough
>>108991678i go from the back the same as wiping, doesn't spray anywhere other than my ass and the bowl. It's a lot smaller than a regular shower head.pic related is the most common one where i live
>>108991638i do exactly this, time my shits to be before my showers, have been doing so for years
>>108991678No, you just aim towards your ass crack and pull the trigger. Wash a bit, pick toilet paper and see if there is still poop remains. Repeat until it is done. It works wonderfully in keeping your ass crack without poop remains.
>>108991614>>108991625>>108991638>>108991663>>108991678>>108991691>>108991694Amateurs
>>108991712i just blast my ass with full force and cold water, no need to check for remains after a good power washing. Then just try up with some toilet paper and you're good to go.
>>108991721For that you need enough water pressure, but I have used one in a place with high water pressure and it cleans like a power washer indeed.
>use case?you could just use your left hand you know.
>>108991716> Demolition Man referenceI am pretty sure they were mocking Muslims with that one. People in the civilized world have no idea Muslims wipe their asses with stones, just as Mohammed told them to do.Their larp about beling more hygienic than Europeans and Americans is funny in this context.
>>108991614Electric is weakGo for a non-electric ass-blaster attachment or the Indonesian dish sprayer if you must
>>108991752Every time my ex company had business partner coming over from UAE, the toilets looked like shit. Imagine the smell of islam
>>108991654My attachment has a “spray water all over the nozzle” mode so you can clean it easilyYou’ll still want to use an old toothbrush on it every month or two at least
>>108991687then spray your balls as well
why do i need a bidet when i can just put a little hand soap on the toilet paper and wipe it real good? i do this and it seems to work
Why can't your asshole just be a little shitty for part of a day? It's an asshole.
>>108991832hey anon i'm waiting at the part where you use water. because only using soap is not a vibe
>>108992041the soap has water in it
>>108991712so you wipe your ass and then touch the hose again? what if you accidentally got shit on your hand
>>108991614Get the brondell simplespa thinline. Best 50 bucks I've ever spent.
>>108991832the lye burns your ass dude how do you live
I dont know why you guys put on airs and feel the need to wipe or use a bidet. Its my ass and I'll do what I want and that's nobody's business. Maybe it helps that I have a hairy asshole. Nothing escapes and I usually get quite a crust going.
regular enemas are superior
>>108991828what if it sprays his balls poop onto his legs
>>108992221burns my butt but doesn't burn my hand? curious
>>108991614Why does this not include proper standalone bidets?
>>108992631forgot pic
Daily reminder that with proper diet, good gut flora and regular bowel movement you wouldn't even have to wipe anything.
>>108991843american moment
>>108992706Explain why your delicate little princess of an asshole needs to be so pampered all the time.
>>108992678Exactly. Having to take the garden hose to your ass crack every time you take a shit is not a sign of good hygiene, it's a sign of a bowel problem.
saar i am to making shitting in the water fountain
>>108991638Doing this for 20 years. I buy toilet paper about once a decade and keep it around for guests to use. Better than a bidet in a sense because you can use soap after you poop.
>>108991625You mean like a douche?
>>108992514If you don't use water on your hand to wash it away, it will. The only difference being that using your hand has the potential for it wear off the skin. Do you use your asshole like your hand, perchance? Because that's the only way the comparison would be curious in any way.
>>108992283Easy. Spray your legs as well.
>>108991832Nigga, that's ridiculous. Hand soap gonna dry your butthole out and give you hemorrhoids or someshit.
>>108992772I dunno, dragging bits of poop into the shower doesn't seem that appealing, I would at least wipe a few times.
>>108991614If you need anything more than a courtesy wipe with a single square you need to lay off the slop, eat more meat
>>108992631>>108992640Why would you use a standalone bidet rather than just installing a combo bidet/toilet? It seems strictly worse.
>>108992678If you don't have to wipe it's because your balls haven't dropped and you don't have ass hair yet.
>>108991687You have to spray it from your front, Anon. At worst, it will go further up your ass
>>108991751we use the handheld bidets, mayo monkey
>>108991771>imagine the smellHindu streetshitters are trying so hard to pin the smell and streetshitting on muslims instead.
>>108991614i prefer caresses my anus with flushable (not actually flushable) wipes
My father has what are known as "luscious logs" his anushole pushes out the smoothest ass nuggets that go straight into the toilet and sink straight into the pipes. As I watch him with a winkle in his eye I get sad...my own diarrhea grease from my reddithole floats and no matter how many times I watch the inner workings of his anus i cannot replicate his luscious logs. Listening to Tom petty "free falling" doesn't seem to help as my butt chowder hangs on for dear life in my thick thatch of asshole hair (things get stuck and it's a wonderful thing to get trapped in my lair of asshole hair)
>>108992797what did you call me?
>>108994451>dude wipeskek wonderful
>>108994452
>>108991614People discovering that you might need to wash yer arse after shitting in $CURRENT_YEAR is funny. The easiest thing to use is just a bucket that you fill before you commence your business.
>>108994460you also need some tactical soap, son
>>108991771>the toilets looked like shit.Stop pretending you have toilets, pajeet.
>>108994478you need water pressure as well
>>108991638I always have to shit right after I get out of the shower. Sometimes I decide to sit on the toilet soaking wet and jump back in but I hate doing that.
>>108994506use thy hands.
>>108994451Get the cheap baby wipes like a real manShow that qt cashier you ain't ashamed of buying Winnie the Pooh wipes
>>108992176Thanks for this. I was looking at an integrated until but then there was no outlet close by and would have to run an extension cord or get an outlet installed. It would have been a thing. This thing for $50 I really can't lose.
>>108991614do american really shit 3-5 times a day ?
>>108991614I've got the handheld hose kind. Works fine. Just get a $20-30 one off Amazon, throw the included Teflon tape away, and buy a proper roll from the hardware store for $2. Shut the T-valve off when you're not using it. My last one was solid brass and lasted 15 years, I fucking forgot to remove it when I moved. Will keep using them until I have my own house and I can install a Toto with butt dryer, heated bidet, waterfall noises, etc.>>108991654I've got the sane qualms with the seat attachments, I have explosive shits. Get a hose, works fine.
>>108991614The ass blaster attachment is like $30 total price and is basically immune to blowback and shrapnel issues.
>>108991614bidets are for fags, you're not a fag right op?
>>108995933bidet haters are fags, you're not a fag right anon?
>>108995973>says the fag
>>108991654>i dont think i can use a bidet cause i have chronic explosive diarrhea so i think i would get the nozzle dirty>>108991654>the handheld ass shower is your friendbrown hands typed both these messages. this is not a racist comment. im saying you both have poopy fingers.
>>108991614I went to Japan and they have this electric controller style thing everywhere. They have a butt hole rince mode and a butt rince mode. Between those two modes I think you're golden. You're still wiping your butt with the paper after, but its pretty much a clean pat try. I'd definitely go for the full integrated, but I'm curious about how good the electric toilet seats are. The price ranges on amazon are wildy different. The prices are any where from $50 - $500. I have no fucking idea if any are good. Has anyone ever bought an amazon one?
>>108996079Actually I want to add one more thing onto this. The ones in Japan shoot warm water. Not that it matters much, but if you want that the installation would probably require hooking stuff up to your sink. Not just toilet water line.
>>108994342>we use the handheld bidets, mayo monkeyThis is true. Indians like the hand spray one. Poorer Indians just have a bucket of water in their bathrooms that they splash their butts with. Thats why their floors have so much water damage.
>>108996108Jeet damage control. You poop in the street, jfl at "bro we're so sanitary we destroy our floors bro"
>>108996026you're indian, i'm aryan
>>108996099Some have heaters, but that means electrical so...>>108996079How she clean starfish with shorts on?
>>108991614The attachment ones are pretty easy to install and pretty cheap with the price ranging depending on what bells and whistle you need. Personally the mandatory features for me are>self cleaning>piss guard Usually a lot of them have some type of guard to keep the nozzle protected.>[Optional] hot and cold waterDoesn't need electricity and uses the hot water pipe from under your sink if you have a standard bathroom.>[Optional] male + female washA lot of them seem to separate this feature for some reason but if you live with other people or have woman over a lot this is also plusOne more feature that only matters for top right in your pic but I would think you would want some feature that makes it easy to clean the actual toilet as some of them look like they stay in 1 place and get in the way of cleaning the main toilet bowel. I know there's some like top right that also lifts up whenever you need to clean your toilet. Probably just me I'm being paranoid but you probably don't want to get cleaning chemicals near or around the nozzle.
>>108991614ehm. i know this is controversial because it's associated with indians.but the correct answer is using toilet paper for a few initial wipes. then hopping into the shower and using the removal shower head and your hand with soap to wash your ass with soap.then you use a little bit more toilet paper to dry your ass very well so you don't get fungal or yeast overgrowth in your butt crack.then you wash your hand well with soap after.>but wiping with hand is gross.soap exists.
>>108991614I want one with fingers that rub me
Make sure your toilet is compatible. Most bidets are sold for "elongated" toilet bowls and not the smaller round ones. I had to install a new toilet to get my bidet properly set up. Installing a toilet yourself shouldn't be too difficult, but as a word of advice, always buy a third party wax ring along with the toilet. The wax rings that come prepackaged with most toilets tend to leak no matter how much you tighten your toilet to the ground
>>108991614Handheld let you point directly without you adjusting the setting.
>>108991614>ancient browntech is wypippo sci-fi
>>108997498>ancient browntech clearly has a french name
>>108994263unix philosophy should apply to the bathroom too
bidet owners will strut out of the toilet fresh and with confidence. they will nail that job interview. bidetlet walk out of the toilet with shame.they are still applying for entry level jobs on linkedin.
>>108991678Japanese toilets have auto aim
>>108992733>explain why you don’t just want to walk around with shit in your pants when there is a easy solution for thisas i said, american moment
>>108991614None of these are bidets, learn what a bidet really is you filthy trogolodyte
>>108992706>>108998157Hey fuck you, I'm an American and I personally love having a bidet. You can buy them at the local hardware store if your toilet doesn't have one already
>>108991614i’ve used an add on bidet for 5 years or so; currently i use Tushy’s product and am happy with it. I no longer have problems with hemorrhoids.
>>108994263>why would you use a bidet that actually lets you wash your ass with proper water and soap instead of le epic chink "solution" of approximately spraying it with water?
>>108998157I mean, have you considered a diet that doesn't leave your ass crack completely caked in shit?
>>108998934I'm starting to suspect everyone on /g/ has a chronic case of diarrhea.
>>108998934>>108998950it's just nice to be able to spray your ass clean without having to reach your hand inside of your crack to wipe it. I don't even need to wipe half the time, it saves time and toilet paper
>>108998981>without having to reach your hand inside of your crack to wipe itJust kind of sounds like fat guy tech to me. Like you can't reach your asshole anymore so you need to use a hose.
>>108999000It's one of those things you can probably live without but will also appreciate having when you do, just little conveniences
>>108999000by that logic showering is also fat guy tech
>>108996963The ones that use electricity have a retractable wand that stays inside its own closed compartment that's higher up and doesn't interfere with cleaning the bowl. They also typically have a water heater and a seat heater, so you only attach the cold water line to it.
>>108998934Why would I arrange my whole life around stool quality when there are bidets?
>>108991614I use moist toilet paper (wipes). water doesn't clean inside the anus like you can with it. also doesn't flush everything around your cheeks and balls.
>>108991638At this point I honestly call it "my bidet"
>>108992151No you hose first and wipe second. That's how you still get dingalberries
>>108996963what if i have explosive diarrhea and it flies onto that part of the attachment that sticks out?
>>108999014>by that logic showering is also fat guy techMaybe if you need a sponge on a stick to do it.
>>108996079after my last trip to japan, this is exactly what i did. i actually ordered it while i was over there so it would be delivered by the time i got back. i got the toto washlet c5. it was very easy to install and works very well. you will want a gfci outlet easily accessible/near the toilet.i've only had to buy tp once in the last year and a half.highly recommend
>>108992221>>108992812There's no lye left in soap. It's used to make soap, but there's none left afterwards because it would burn you.Lye doesn't work on a timer either. It would burn your hands immediately if it were strong enough to hurt you.Also, a lot of hand "soap" isn't even made with saponification anymore. It's strictly speaking "detergent" rather than soap.
>>109006661That's what the "Protective Guard Gate" is for
>>108991614>not growing dangleberries on your nut hairholy gay mother...
>>108997139The Japanese recently invented a realistic robot tongue, so you can soon have one that licks you clean
>>108991614For me, it's handheld. >>108991654I was severely injured (chemical explosion, got tossed like in the movies) and had a big chunk of my intestines and colon removed as a result (gangrene got me), so I have explosive diarrhea every single day of my life. A bidet helps more than you'll ever be able to fathom, I don't even eat in public anymore because if I need to shit I want to use my bidet. A big part of it is the acidity of my shit causing burns and TP making those burns raw, but a bidet clears that shit up (pun intended).
>>108998934If you must know: i shit once a day and pretty much the same time every day too. It's usually 2-3 firm dookies. No mess, no diarrhea, but why wouldn't i still wash my ass when the option is there and it is just as easy (if not easier) than using just paper.
>>108991614how do i avoid the shitwater to run down to my balls?? i dont get it
>he wants water sprayed at his ass Faaaaaaaag
>>109007919>>109007930Two fair points that have as of yet been unaddressed by the pro-bidet crowd.
>>109007919how fucking old are you? are your balls so saggy they literally dip into the toilet bowl?
>>109007930almost as gay as touching your own dick when you pee
>>109007930How is it more gay than rubbing your anus with paper.
>>109008050>are your balls so saggy they literally dip into the toilet bowl?I call it "steeping"
>>109008050what are you even talking about?when you spray water at your asshole the shit-water-mix runs down to your ballsack
What if it misses and sprays me in the dick?
>>108991614the non-electric bidet attachment is the best one out of the bunch and you fags arguing for sprayers or (god forbid) standalone bidet bowls are fucking retarded. the non-electric bidet is like 20 bucks, last years, and even a kid could install it.the electric seat only makes sense if you live somewhere where the weather routinely hits -10c or so.
>>108994451don't flush wipes.friend of mine had a roommate that was using """flushable""" wipes without anyone else knowing. well everyone found out once they eventually blocked the line and it took $700 to get it cleared
I would rather have crummy poopoo than wet soggy underwear.
>>109008779guys don't tell this guy about toilet paper
>>109008684This. I bought all of my bidets as non-electric and they work great. They just use the water pressure to extend the nozzle. The knob controls the pressure, and that's that.Very simple, reliable, and most importantly fast.
Someone needs to invent one of these, but for buttholes instead of cars.
>>108991614My sink is close enough to my toilet that I can wet the toilet paper without getting up. I found it works very well.
>>108996079>Has anyone ever bought an amazon one?A few months ago I bought a Toto S5 off Amazon.It's nice, being able to mount the controls where I want. And it lets you save profiles, once you figure out the settings (position, pressure, etc) that you like.>>108996099>ones in Japan shoot warm water... installation would probably require hooking stuff up to your sinkPart of the reason I got the model above is that it has a little on-demand water heater. The only connections are a tee from the toilet's cold water supply & the wall outlet.It is a fairly high draw appliance, but bathrooms typically have a circuit that's meant to run hair dryers, straighteners, etc, so I just put in an extra outlet downstream of the gfci.>>108997987>Japanese toilets have auto aimIt is uncanny how this thing scores a direct hit.>>108999290>ones that use electricity have a retractable wand that stays inside its own closed compartmentThat's pretty common with non-electric ones, too.Basically a telescoping wand (like an oldie radio antenna), with a series of o-rings and a return spring. The water pressure will cause the wand to extend, and when you cut the water off, the spring retracts the thing.This anon >>109008838 is describing the same thing.
>>109007919>how do i avoid the shitwater to run down to my ballsIt's the same as when you shower. With that first splash of water, technically dirt from one part of your body "runs down" onto some other part. But you just keep running the water for a bit.I use the oscillating function a lot. So instead of the spray being a point, and you have to kind of rock back and forth, the nozzle adjusts position and sprays a line pattern. And the line is your lower butt crack. Goes a long way to making sure you don't miss anything.I don't have a problem with my balls getting any kind of residual, but the female button moves the nozzle to an extreme extended position. If you're a guy, effectively it shoots the backside of your sack.>>109008779>wet soggy underwear>>109008827>don't tell this guy about toilet paperI still keep toilet paper in the bathroom, and use it for a spot check.But the heated blow dry function does probably 90% of the work. At least in the time interval that I'm willing to stay on the toilet.I ended up getting a separate stack of bathroom hand towels, a different color than the rest. They're really butt towels.Again, it's kind of like showering. When you get out, you can "drip dry" if you want/have the time, but I prefer to pat dry with a towel.
