Are you into computers? Are you into computers son? Do you- do you work the computers? Well, you know how the way the letters are all laid out over the place in the... *wiggles fingers* Well, do you know that they managed to work out, if we could go back thousands of years and change the alphabet so that it was in that order to begin with... Do you know what? See by now, we would have had an extra finger.
Give OP a round of drinks