What went wrong?
Imagine a Calvinist Brazil VGH
Too many Catholics for the sephardic jew to thriveThey still kept Curaçao though as a slave trade hub
>>18728770It was 'new christians' that did most of the trading in the catholic new world kek
>>18728755They started off pretty well, but them the dutch crypto jews fired the popular governor and started treating the people living there like shit and raising taxes so they revolted.
>>18728774That's true too but at least those were "conversos" or pretended to be for appearance's sake and thus less repuslive to the Iberian mind
>>18728755we shouldn't have took it back
The people in there genuinely prefered to stay Portuguese
>>18728755They lost the war to Portugal and they didn't even have a reason to be fighting them any more.
Fun fact: Maurits, the guy who conquered it for the Dutch in the first place was called the Brazilian for his efforts. But his actual legacy in the Netherlands consists of building a house where nowadays you can see paintings.
>>18729344The Portuguese settlers did for fairly obvious reasons, as did most of the already largely Catholic Tupi natives and some african slaves, though the latter could probably have just as easily have fallen on the dutch side of things if they had chosen to be nice to them. The less integrated Tapuya (i.e non-Tupi) indians on the other hand despised the Portuguese quite a bit and even massacred catholics by the dozens (quite a lot for the time) on the Dutch's behalf in some places, and in the immediate aftermath of the Dutch's expansion would wage their own war against the Portuguese, which didn't end that well for them of course but it's something
>>18728757We might see Calvinist Brazil in our lifetime
>>18729382Sadly most of these protestants are gigazionist goycattle evangelicucks.
>>18728755I don't know, but you bringing it up made me feel an existential sense of regret and nostalgia I've never felt before. If only...That would've meant we could've gotten rid of one of the world's greatest evils, which is modern Brazil.
>>18729929No it probably would have just resulted in two different Brazils, one of which would likely be poorer and have Indonesian blood added to the classical triracial formula of euro-black-injun
It would just be a bigger Suriname.
>>18729521They always were, where do you think all Jews from Spain went after they got expelled? Mostly to Protestant nations and Turkey.
>>18728755Portugal recruited african warlords
>calvinist favelamonkeysterrifying 2bh
>>18730014Brazil would be a hyper-prosperous superpower if it was Calvinist
>>18730027>>18730014Protestant Work Theory only applies to actual Protestant churches like Lutherans, Anglicans, Methodists and CavinistsNot favela tier pentecostal evangelists. They will just replace one monkey screaming with another
>>18730014Tbh I doubt Nordeste would change very much in the case the Dutch replaced the Portuguese. Though it depends on how autistic the reformed authorities get, I doubt they would go any farther than the catholic church is attempting to eradcate Afro-syncretism. Maybe the country ends up like 10% muslim, 5% Hindu like if it was a bigger Suriname.>>18730171>Fabonga Wonga epentecogna wubb tier gubb glubb Cool
>>18728755The Dutch West India Company tortured a Portuguese on his penis to get him to reveal the location of silver.https://twitter.com/deborah_hamer/status/1222622741507067904>It's taken years, but I've finally reached the stage of the game where I get to read about penis torture. So happy research day to me. (Manifest door d'inwoonders van Parnambuco uytgegeven tot hun verantwoordinge op 't aennemen der wapenen tegens de West-Ind. compagnie, 6)https://twitter.com/deborah_hamer/status/1222631906182934529>It's an accusation from a 1646 pamphlet (anonymous but purportedly by Luso-Brazilian colonists) against the WIC. They say that to extract the location of a cloister's silver, the Dutch tortured the cloister's "proviseur." (so no, its not about slavery...)
>>18731706https://twitter.com/deborah_hamer/status/1222891354654683138For anyone following, the reply pamphlet (a Dutch defense of their actions in Brazil/argument that the Luso-Brazilians were not innocent of using violence) also mentions penises, saying that captured Dutch sailors were beheaded and castrated in the sight of the Dutch fort.
>>18730171>AnglicansThe church with lgtb clergy?
>>18729354Which is a shame because he was also our greatest Military leader in a long shot
>>18731706Thnak yuo Mr. Chinaman you are very obñliged and blessing
>>18732679Ñigger o algo.
>>18728757It already exists
>>18732692>the largest ethnic group in this South American country are pajeetsWtf happened here
>>18730187>I doubt they would go any farther than the catholic church is attempting to eradcate Afro-syncretismThen you don’t know how intolerant Calvinists are of idolatry
>>18732701Jews wanted cheap labor that would never rebel. Same as today.
>>18732705Not intolerant enough to prevent the emergence and proliferation of Afro-syncretism in the colonies they did have, anyway. But we have to remember that, obviously, the greater part of the slave religion took place in secret or in disguise. Leaving the masters for the most part joyfully ignorant of the slaves and their rites. Then again, the Dutch were also fairly laissez-faire as far their caribbean colonies went. Many Jews, non-reformed; unlike in other colonies religion was relatively unimportant for entry. So even leaving that aside they might not have cared very much. Very normal fare in colonial religious contexts, really.>>18732692Slavery was made illegal but there was still a demand for poorly paid plantation labour. Hence the birth of the coolie. They appear much in the British and Dutch Caribbean. They weren't just Indian, there were also Javanese, Chinese.
>>18732642LGBT
>>18729521All Christians worship a Jew though.
>>18728755>>18730171Luther
Martin Looter
>>18732757Something I recently found out looking into slave religion in Suriname is that apparently, the masters often looked to the slaves and their remedies for medical attention because the colony had very few physicians.
>>18728755Zealand merchants stood for all of the investments into Brazil, but Holland held a hegemony over the Republic and only cared about their own colonies so Brazil got neglected.
>>18735344What colonies did they have anyway?I guess they had Sri Lanka and former portuguese territory in Indonesia, but besides that, what?
>>18735352Surinam and Brazil were Zealands, I believe all others were Hollands. The other 5 provinces didn't really bother with colonial ventures of their own.
>>18735359You forget about the Drenthe mars colony.
>>18728755It would be like South Africa. Suriname is predominantly Indian/South Asian like Guyana and Trinidad and Tobago because the British, who had taken over Dutch colonies, could no longer use African slave labor, which they themselves had abolished, and the British Raj was their largest colony (Bongs prioritize small places, which is why South Africa is 2.5% to 2.7% Indian).If there's one thing Brazilians love tho most, it's beef and rump steak. Same reason for not being Muslim because of cachaça (Brazilian rum).
