I'm working on a comic book where I am unsure if the story is understandable. The writing is deliberately minimal, repetitive, and supposed to work in tandem with the images. How do you understand the story? And yes, the comic sans via mspaint style is temporary.
>>8025583>How do you understand the story? It's simple and easy to understand, if everything should be taken at face value. It's a bit confusing why the cat needs to build a raft or traverse hills when he has a car. So the sense of distance is confusing. And also what happens to the people who were in the house? Hawthorne is always looking at the moon, except in the "Maybe I don't" panel. Is that intentional.
>>8025583>comicThis is a picture book my dude
The kindergarten is next door
A whore house where a fish is the pimp?
How you've inserted the type, and the type itself, look pretty ugly and overtly stands out when compared to the art.As others have stated, this isn't a comic, so much as it is a picture book. You could say that picture books are technically comics, and I could say that you need to shut up.While it's obviously a stylistic choice, it's sometimes too mess for it's own good. On the "Maybe I feed him" page, is he covered in blood? Is he eating something bloody? Something red? Or is that just a bad case of smudging?
Can't tell if it is demonic or a drug metaphor.
>>8025587>It's a bit confusing why the cat needs to build a raft or traverse hills when he has a carIt looks like there are no roads around, and that's the only way to reach the fish>what happens to the people who were in the house? I think they're asleep>Hawthorne is always looking at the moon, except in the "Maybe I don't" panel. Is that intentional.Nice catch, yeah. He is considering not seeing the cat again, therefore glancing away from his beloved moon.>>8025592Sure>>8025599If you call your hookers your moon, you're on the money>>8025608>How you've inserted the type, and the type itself, look pretty ugly and overtly stands out when compared to the art.From the OP "And yes, the comic sans via mspaint style is temporary.">On the "Maybe I feed him" page, is he covered in blood? He's eating figs...>>8025615Yes :-)
Reserved I will type up my reply later
I like it
Judging from other feedback, some people have trouble understanding the role of the fish. A few answers here seem to perfectly understand it, although they summarize the whole story as lewd metaphor. I'm struggling on whether to clarify the story, or allow it to pass some people by. How do you understand the fish?>>8025657I'm waiting for you, anon>>8025894Nice good
>>8026233I mean it's clearly not made for mass appeal or to make money so just make what you want
>>8026242Well, since I'm telling a story, I would like that story to come across. After all, I am trying to communicate.
>>8025583i like it, the artwork is raw... One of these panels could be an album cover. maybe the story is about missing someone
ngl it looks like he's constantly hiding a huge erection
>>8025583the schitzo art and story are perfect, consistent and wholesome. the reds are very compelling. just. don't use comic sans. not even for a placeholder. you can go full digital font and vary the bubble square locations and sizes as needed, just pick a good free font and stick with it. additionally you could try full panels with just the words so you're not covering the art and it would help with pacing. missing her again is a better text box than the curved edge versions too.this is amazing outsider art and I think you should do more. just. don't. use. comic. sans. ever.
>>8025583I don't get it but I like the vibeI don't really have a clear idea enough of what's happening to give an interpretation. I can say that the moon(?) being somewhere in every panel reads clearly, as well as the sort of palindrome structure
I like it.Now try a public domain story.
>>8025583Reminds me of Inio Asano’s Heroes.
>>8026245>Well, since I'm telling a story, I would like that story to come across. After all, I am trying to communicate.Being vague can also be good too though. Some of the most compelling stories are mysterious in meaning and message. What's important is that the most shallow and literal interpretation of the work is satisfying, so that a readers who can't make heads or tails of the metaphors can still enjoy what they've read.
Text should be on separate panels to make it more schizophrenic
