if you want it bad enough you find a way.
if you dont want it bad enough you find an excuse.

awful rorkepost
he really thinks he fits in doesn't he

i act polite cause its nice 2 b nice

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>>222386174

>>222386174
dun get it

>>222386174
omfg i was going to make the new, ffs go die -_-

speaking off coffee
might suckle on one

>>222386185
me when it comes to spaffing inside fanny

any starting to realise they might be autistic man in
I've lied to myself for so long but its the only way i can make sense of my past now

seriously considering buying clothes from aliexpress
dont like anything in the shops and adult clothes dont fit me either
think itll be fine if i avoid the polyester

I used to run a competitive hide and seek championship but i had to give it up
all the good players were too hard to find

sucking my last vape, probably not going to be able to get a new one after this because all the spots that sell them under the counter have been raided by the rozzers (vapes are illegal in australia without a prescription but even still everyone still does it)

>>222386221
always knew me

>>222386221
how so

>>222386222
been buying all my clothes from garage sales and fairs lately, good quality, cheap, and makes me stand out a little.

rorke telling himself one last thread before bed

anyone remember back in the day there was this guy offered a service where he would call up someone's bf/gf and dump them on behalf of the client? and he uploaded the recordings online
there was this one case where he had to tell a girl that her bf was dumping her because she was a squirter. what kind of weirdo considers that a problem? that's sexy

>>222386233
go suck on some fresh air instead you bum.

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>>222386233
>vapes are illegal in australia without a prescription
What nanny state shit is this

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>>222386222
>adult clothes dont fit me either

I cant realistically see any situation where I'd be intimate with a woman happening in my life again
I had a couple of flukes years ago but im too far gone now

>>222386250
what are argentinian women like?
big bums?
do they like (actual) white guys?
do they let me spaff inside?

>>222386221
i have a lot of high functioning autistic traits (almost all of them in fact) but i've been clinically cleared for autism

literally no england flags up, bad vibes for a world cup ngl

hate diaspora teams at the world cup

>>222386257
yeah i know it's fucking retarded, it's also illegal to ride a bicycle without a helmet here. being australian is embarrassing sometimes

>>222386257
will be us in a few years

>>222386257
Britain in a years time

>>222386252
its piss mate
some people dont like being pissed on
imagine if you had to change the sheets after every time you had sex before you could sleep because they were covered in piss

>>222386272
too far gone in what way

>>222386281
my neighbour has put up one up with a big ai generated bulldog on it

>>222386293
no it isn't

>>222386257
they banned the disposable ones here, still se them sold all the time though must be '''back stock'''

hate hate hate accidentally replying to the wrong post it's so embarrassing

>>222386305
where does it come from then? the mystery squirt gland that only some women have?

new meme just dropped—bit ly / 4uE5odw

watching a midget deepthroat a dildo

>>222386311
they're technically all rechargeable now but obviously no one bothers
spastic government with half arsed laws getting rings ran around it by some chinese merchantman

>>222386315
yeah the skene's gland

>>222386314
for me its finding a /brit/ on the catalogue, replying to one of the early posts then realising its a thread from hours ago

Not a cat in hells chance

>>222386327
chang has done us right up there

>>222386317
john mcafee

Might go for an incelwalk

/brit/ discord dropping cp links again, time to head out.

>>222386295
I'm stuck in a loop, i toil i come home i distract myself from myself a bit then continue the cycle

>>222386317
mcafee punching his way out of his coffin kill bill style upon seeing this post

>>222386348
the wolves will get you

wonder if down syndrome porn exists. feels like it should be illegal but i suppose logically it shouldn't be as long as they're a consenting adult

>>222386332
doesnt produce more than a few millilitres at a time sorry mate

just heard a rapping at the window and it was a little goblin with the face of john macafee playing a solemn tune on the irish tin whistle before fading into glitter

>>222386370
don't think they can consent really

arrest all women

>>222386373
it doesn't smell or taste like piss so checkmate m'boy

are people really out there paying 60 quid a month on phone contracts?

i do like the john mcafee gimmick you know
always gives me a smile

>>222386376
s

>>222386397
it's literally the only good gimmick in /brit/ history

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Arrest women. Charge women. Indict women. Imprison women. Unanimously find women guilty on all charges. Sentence women to life in prison. Do not grant women parole. Deny women's appeals. Give women shots for extremely minor infractions. Put women on indefinite lockdown. Send women to solitary confinement. Feed women nutraloaf. Search women's cells for contraband. Make women submit to cavity searches. Look the other way when women are getting shanked in the rec room.

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do women really liked being tied up? i

>>222386388
you dont know what piss or "squirt" tastes like because you're a virginoid slugman

>>222386413
don't see you coming up with any gimmicks
just sitting around posting about how nobody else posts good gimmicks?

sir wojak fetish

Good luck with your footie match tomorrow, dad.

>>222386277
I dont really speak with many women, last time i spoke with one was 1 week ago.

But yeah being actually white and having a funny accent is a big plus for a lot of them.

>>222386376
lol

>>222386465
you live in a shaggers paradise and choose not to speak to women?
what the fuck are you doing man

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>>222386430
kindly shut your trap young man

hydration break

>>222386440
wonder what she's doing now

>>222386428
yeah

leftypol drinking his fat girlfriends piss and coping on brit that it was definitely totally not piss it was some other thing that comes out when they really really like sex

been up all night playing xbox while buzzing on the opioids

i'm 6 ft wide

I hate myself

>>222386505
why do they like it?

>>222386485
okay

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>>222386460
Thanks son

recently rediscovered the word "festoon" and will be on the lookout for an opportunity to use it

>>222386519
>>222386520
ktim

>>222386545
was rendered reddit by daniel day lewis gangs of new york i'm afraid

>>222386541
she's made for the beeb

>>222386559
only watched the first 20 minutes or so of that many years ago so i'm quite happy to recuse myself of any association with that film or reddit

have been doing absolutely dire on the (you)s tonight

>>222386521
its exciting and makes them feel controlled

sir oscar bobb

>>222386567
Says it all really

You tell young Rorke I'm gonna paint the Montague Pyke with his blood. Two coats. I'll festoon my bedchamber with his guts.

>>222386572
>>222386574
free (You)s here!

>>222386595
Smirking

got a new female co-toiler who went in for a handshake upon meeting me. feels inappropriate for a man and woman to shake hands if'n ya ask me
she was also a chink so she's probably got all sorts of bat soup diseases

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ban vapes
ban cigarettes

only pipe smoking and cigars should be legal

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GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALS

feel like there must have been a class where my peers learned how to chat with women which i must have missed
I've had mates who were complete simpletons in every way but yet they can effotlessly chat with women and im like some weird alien when it comes to it

>>222386541
Definitely one of the hottest women in the world, but not a great pic desu.

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>>222386640

>>222386631
yeh
there's a reason we all ended up here

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hippopotamus

>>222386611
Racist post

>>222386631
It's just experience. You don't approach enough.

>he failed his shagging GCSE
Look at him. Look at him and laugh

>>222386658
sexist too

>>222386631
just imagine them as men with long hair

>>222386645
would

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>would

wish jewtube would stop recommending me AI slop

>>222386686
he'd make a good one

>>222386686
Clavicular surgery was a success i see

how do we wank when our bums are pooing

>>222386689
Stop watching it then

One of my many regrets is not shagging a trans girl while I was single.

>>222386716
i don't

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>Tycen Proper, 19 and bald

Dis mio la creatura

if you fink about it

women are just men wiv diffrent jeans innit

what's happening

>>222386740
proper bald

>>222386759
aye

>>222386740
Even the revealing shirt. Shrek is an energy.

DEY. ATE. US.

musk already worth 1.3trillion now

>>222386748
aye

>>222386356
ktim
trying to break out the cycle. I thought it was all toil's fault but now I work part time and I still just doss about on my days off

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this any good?

mad how some drug vendors on the darknet have virtual tip jars. why on earth would you want to tip a drug dealer (except maybe if you were good mates with them i guess), those guys must be rolling in dough so what do they need this yank-tier nonsense for?

>>222386813
yeah

Incel status = walked

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get the second language learnt

get the mind honed

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Howling

>>222386853
would be easier if we all spoke one language

>>222386397
its a top tier gimmique
has lots of creative potential those are the best

was dozing off just now and woke myself up with a fart

>>222386631
I treat every woman like I've been their mate for 20 years. This naturally involves absolutely relentless verbal abuse. Some take to it and some don't.

>>222386861
That's a rip-off of a really old post.

Sir David Paulden

>>222386861
Chuckling

>>222386861
my folks would probably be relieved if i came out as gay as it would explain no gf
truth is i am bi but cant make a human connection

need a job where i just sit in a cubicle clicking a button over and over and over and over and over and over and over. dont want responsibilities. don't want hard work. dont want to move up the career ladder. just want the most menial job possible that doesn't destroy the body.

>>222386567
would be more accurate if they were browner, sky is grey with smog and dust, and with shit and litter everywhere

hey what's up

>>222386611
it's appropriate but it needs to be a dainty little handshake

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sweaty girls

well I for one believe Dan Stevens deserves better than that shit series

>>222386967
want to drink their sweat yummers yum yummers

>>222386923
I look like this and shower like this

>>222386611
what would you rather do, squeeze their breasts?

not permitted

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>>222386967

>>222386987
sup the nips

>>222386983
who the fuck's diane

have you read the report y/n?

If I could make a wish
I think I'd pass
Can't think of anything I need
No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound
Nothing to eat, no books to read
Making love with you
Has left me peaceful, warm, and tired
What more could I ask
There's nothing left to be desired
Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak
So sleep, silent angel
Go to sleep

got a poo stored in my bum to enhance the wank

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>>222386967

>>222387036
i think this is AI lads

>>222386631
didn't have the faintest clue how to talk to women until I was around 20 when I looksmaxxed and threw myself in the deep end dating women
lost the 'ginity at 20 as well
after a few dates I started getting good, after a dozen or two I was quite natural at it and a shagging machine pretty much

I'm still good at it but haven't had much practice. also depends heavily on how you feel about yourself. If you look great and are athletic and successful with friends and experiences then you naturally feel good and confident
if you're a depressed loser you can still charm women but you'll lack the natural charisma of a chad

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Finally managed to get the dream watch

>>222387065
Are you 8030? The shagger who had sex with about 80 women by the time he was 30 and is now married?

>>222387065
i don't want to be a shagging machine i just want a gf

>>222387013
right well that's just plain obnoxious

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Need Emma Watson to poot in my face.

im 30 years old, have slept with 15 women total but only about 5 of them were good looking

got a little bit of pubage around the base of my shaft (which i assume is normal)
imagine if hair grew all over your knob right up to the bellend, or even ON the bellend, would be mentle

right sorry didnt realise 1 am on a wednesday was the big shagger hours on brit

im 150 years old and ive had sex with 1 woman

>>222387118
i'm 31, shagged 6 women and they were all fit because they were prostitutes

>>222387127
Yeah, we're all just about to have a little five aside if you want to join us

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>>222386185

>>222387136
This is who opposes the Online Safety Act

>>222386826
the way yanks do "tipping" is some Kamala-voter loser mong trying to shame you into giving them a charitable donation to pad out their wages

having a virtual tip jar is harmless and I reckon they'd get a lot of tips actually since the type of people who order drugs online are 'enthusiasts' who really love their drugs and they probably get rich drugmongs who are high as a kite and impulsively give the dealer a virtual tip whilst they're in a state of euphoria

>>222387132
feels a bit gay to pay for sex innit
>>222387127
im unemployed, i lost my job because i kept not showing up for days

>>222387153
yeah but i wasn't very well gonna get my ugly little end away by any other method now was i?
also, i appreciate the honesty of just straight up paying for it, it feels more dignified than having to play all those weird mind games you need to do to get free range women to shag you

Right mate I mean

get a clue

>>222387118
Surprising. The women in Sweden are fit as fuck.

might become an entity

>>222386847
this guy keeps avatarfagging his neonstrobe sextapes in those threads

>>222387082
nah
i used to post on here about my experiences in the upper echelons of the shaggerstocracy but at some point i realised i was being obnoxious so i only give the unsolicited tales of conquest rarely

>>222387097
tough to find a nice gf if you don't have experience dating women and being around them
and if you're going to date lots of women you might as well be shagging them too

I see thru the bricks to the sea
FACKIN STRAYA
you would not believe where I'm from
FACKIN STRAYA

>>222387182
most of them have been ethnically non-swedes tbqh
hottest one ive shagged was an irish lassie, but we had a falling out after i revealed my power level

just found out canonically the reason no one recognises superman as clark kent is because his glasses are made of kryptonite glass that hypnotise people into thinking he looks different
here I always just thought lois lane and everyone else were just complete asdans

>>222387193
how tall are you

it's cheesy eggs for dinner, again

>>222387208
Or maybe it's just a comic and you should grow up and get a clue

>>222387208
that's only sometimes canon. a lot of the time it's his demeanour that makes him unfathomable as superman.

>>222387136
little nonce fella

>>222387219
State of your farts

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*approaches you at the train station*
hey whitefulla u got a smoke dardy?

>>222387216
6'

might become a virtual tip jar

>>222387233
right well that's that then

>>222387223
never read a superman comic in my life
only watched the first christopher reeve film and that's it

>>222387230
oi give us a smoke you dog, white cunt gimme a fag

>>222387219
never tried that. you use cheddar or 'murican cheese?

my dick, my balls, my nuts and my knob

What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve

>>222387244
some of the biggest playas ive known were short kings
you just compensate in other ways

was in the psych ward last week and this abo guy came in who kept glaring at me. it must be the abo's famous tracking skills that alerted him to the fact that i am extremely racist against his sort

>>222387252
Monterey Jack, parmijan, mozza, any'll do

>>222387266
come on mate that's not on

>>222387277
did you know abbos call white "dogs"?

>>222387266
Scrombobulating.

>>222387065
did you use apps or you met women in real life? through uni/work etc.?

>>222387299
of course mate i live here, also been called that by pacific islanders

With this depth of feeling come new ways of feeling:
Dream into being, dream into being!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CM0s7wh10mU&t=550s

>>222387308
i wanna go visit some time
did you know it's quite common for Swedish girl to go to Australia for a gap year after high school where they work at farms and sleep around like crazy?

not sure if i'd rather have a family or live an adventurous life

>>222387266
screping

checking the director and main 3 actors early life sections before i put on a film

>>222387328
yeah a lot of europeans do that, plenty of french, germans, danish etc. around
just thank your lucky stars ivan milat (the backpacker murderer) is dead now, but even so i still wouldn't recommend hitchhiking

arsed up my life it's over

>>222387330
living an adventurous life can only really occur between 17-25, if you miss it you miss it, and it doesn't prevent you from starting a family later on.

you lot wouldnt survive a day in my shoes
honestly believe that most people would have given up long, long ago in my situatiob

>>222387340
i think it's funny how jason biggs often gets cast as a jewish character even though he's not a jew, he just looks like one

>>222387304
mostly through the apps id say 80% of them
i was in uni at the time and i was an autistic freak for the first two years and didnt have a reputation as one of the shagger chads even after ascending
had some dates and a few easy opportunities with a few girls in my uni and fumbled them all, only exception being my current gf :)

the apps are easy mode if you're good looking a godsend tbqh just becomes numbers game

>>222387358
nonsense

>>222387352
how so

Right bored of this now change the subject

>>222387377
no mates no gf no job and I'm 29 this year

Why would you go bungee jumping in a third world shithole and act surprised when Mbongo and Joao forget to tie the bungee cord to your leg?

>>222387392
You graduate?

>>222387404
she wasn't surprised

>>222387410
last year yh

>>222387421
Just apply for graduate roles then, or do your masters

>>222387392
no job and no gf happens to everyone but how do you not have any friends? x

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMc8i1IkFnI
just how awesome is this

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>>222387404
She was an e-thot trying to get footage bruh you know how it is

>>222387430
have been applying innit
>>222387431
incredibly awkward demeanour

>>222387404
fink she.lived in dat third world country

>>222387404
Woman moment

>>222387439
i want fuck she

the education system is filling our youth with misinformation about how non-whites are perfectly safe to be around and are just misunderstood

Can't stop farting award
Smelliest boy award

>>222387468
now's your chance

don't ever want to get a job

>>222387404
Its the blind faith that baffles me, if i ever did that, you're not throwing me off the bridge unless i check the rope first motherfucker.

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AMBULANCE HUT AND RUN OVER PEDESTRIAN IN BRAZIL
LITTLE TIGER BOY SILDIER
TWIST A CAP BACK AND KILLES

NOIDED

I SEEN FOOTA-

CRAZY SHIDD

CRAZY SHIDD

CRAZY SHIDD

Monday - humiliation,
Tuesday - suffocation,
Wednesday - condescension,
Thursday - is pathetic
by friday, life has raped me
by friday, life has raped me

>>222387492
love the cure

>>222387492
for me?

pornography

>>222387486
Attractive women don't think like that at all. They just saunter through the first 30 years of life having Simps take care of them. They're like overgrown children in so many ways

Is there anything remotely sympathetic about unironic ulsterites

>>222387532
no al racismo

working on my dark smut short story “black pussy changed rorke”

>>222387532
today I feel... racist

>>222387549
There's already a movie about that. It won best picture last year.

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https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1781624626520577.webm

>>222387554
nah mine’s better. i’ll post it later. what do i name the black girl? and a last name for rorke

>>222387559
they get up to some funny stuff over in China don't they

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>>222387559
zero chance i'm watching the rest of a video that looks like this

>>222387559
How stupid do you have to be to get inside the crushing machine?

started to read the Rupert Lowe report but it's a lot of repetition innit
yeah i get it, they got raped, no need for 200+ pages

>>222387598
Put my arm in one once when I worked in a factory and got written up and fired shortly after

>>222387559
right so why's he crawled inside the crusher then

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the 3d world cup thing is cool

>>222387641
scr

>>222387559
>>222387611
ALWAYS follow proper lockout/tagout procedures.

janny on that one like a whip

Janny crushed that post faster than a Chinaman in a factory

anybody watching the footy?

>>222387681
yh x

>>222387681
Giving Algeria my energy

that was a nice goal.
Netanyahu must be scheming this

omds

Nevermind, looks like Big Fifa isnt allowing any goals today.

>>222387559
woulda been funny if he died instantly in the crushing.but seeing him drag around his.mangled body blood everywhere is just very saddening

what happens in algeria

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Would

NO ERA PENAL

Doom Eternal though, pretty fun. Am I about to say it's really fun? Maybe, I might. Would be a bit of a fib, I don't know how you guys feel about fibbing.

watching a camgirl who looks a little bit like olivia rodridgo

>>222387748
i want to see olivia's rodrigo

>Austria/Australia
>Budapest/Bucharest
>Slovenia/Slovakia
Why does it all have to be so confusing?

i cant believe it, my GOAT is washed.

might become non binary

It's no Tiger Woods PGA Golf 2003 I'll tell you that much

>>222387760
>North America/United States of America

>>222387779
nevermind, unc still got it.

hate seeing all the mongs with their phones out in the crowd

The fix is in

messy on a mad one

>>222387801
wonder if ronaldo is going to turn into a botox monster as he gets older

>>222387818
he does seem the type yeah

sir lionel messi

notorious bum driller on the loose

>le 'footy lad' look

>>222387833
fucking nonce cunt

why’s his willy look like that