Coffee edition
if you want it bad enough you find a way.if you dont want it bad enough you find an excuse.
awful rorkeposthe really thinks he fits in doesn't he
i act polite cause its nice 2 b nice
>>222386174
>>222386174dun get it
>>222386174omfg i was going to make the new, ffs go die -_-
speaking off coffeemight suckle on one
>>222386185me when it comes to spaffing inside fanny
any starting to realise they might be autistic man inI've lied to myself for so long but its the only way i can make sense of my past now
seriously considering buying clothes from aliexpressdont like anything in the shops and adult clothes dont fit me eitherthink itll be fine if i avoid the polyester
I used to run a competitive hide and seek championship but i had to give it upall the good players were too hard to find
sucking my last vape, probably not going to be able to get a new one after this because all the spots that sell them under the counter have been raided by the rozzers (vapes are illegal in australia without a prescription but even still everyone still does it)
>>222386221always knew me
>>222386221how so
>>222386222been buying all my clothes from garage sales and fairs lately, good quality, cheap, and makes me stand out a little.
rorke telling himself one last thread before bed
anyone remember back in the day there was this guy offered a service where he would call up someone's bf/gf and dump them on behalf of the client? and he uploaded the recordings onlinethere was this one case where he had to tell a girl that her bf was dumping her because she was a squirter. what kind of weirdo considers that a problem? that's sexy
>>222386233go suck on some fresh air instead you bum.
>>222386233>vapes are illegal in australia without a prescriptionWhat nanny state shit is this
>>222386222>adult clothes dont fit me either
I cant realistically see any situation where I'd be intimate with a woman happening in my life againI had a couple of flukes years ago but im too far gone now
>>222386250what are argentinian women like?big bums? do they like (actual) white guys? do they let me spaff inside?
>>222386221i have a lot of high functioning autistic traits (almost all of them in fact) but i've been clinically cleared for autism
literally no england flags up, bad vibes for a world cup ngl
hate diaspora teams at the world cup
>>222386257yeah i know it's fucking retarded, it's also illegal to ride a bicycle without a helmet here. being australian is embarrassing sometimes
>>222386257will be us in a few years
>>222386257Britain in a years time
>>222386252its piss matesome people dont like being pissed onimagine if you had to change the sheets after every time you had sex before you could sleep because they were covered in piss
>>222386272too far gone in what way
>>222386281my neighbour has put up one up with a big ai generated bulldog on it
>>222386293no it isn't
>>222386257they banned the disposable ones here, still se them sold all the time though must be '''back stock'''
hate hate hate accidentally replying to the wrong post it's so embarrassing
>>222386305where does it come from then? the mystery squirt gland that only some women have?
new meme just dropped—bit ly / 4uE5odw
watching a midget deepthroat a dildo
>>222386311they're technically all rechargeable now but obviously no one bothersspastic government with half arsed laws getting rings ran around it by some chinese merchantman
>>222386315yeah the skene's gland
>>222386314for me its finding a /brit/ on the catalogue, replying to one of the early posts then realising its a thread from hours ago
Not a cat in hells chance
>>222386327chang has done us right up there
>>222386317john mcafee
Might go for an incelwalk
/brit/ discord dropping cp links again, time to head out.
>>222386295I'm stuck in a loop, i toil i come home i distract myself from myself a bit then continue the cycle
>>222386317mcafee punching his way out of his coffin kill bill style upon seeing this post
>>222386348the wolves will get you
wonder if down syndrome porn exists. feels like it should be illegal but i suppose logically it shouldn't be as long as they're a consenting adult
>>222386332doesnt produce more than a few millilitres at a time sorry mate
just heard a rapping at the window and it was a little goblin with the face of john macafee playing a solemn tune on the irish tin whistle before fading into glitter
>>222386370don't think they can consent really
arrest all women
>>222386373it doesn't smell or taste like piss so checkmate m'boy
are people really out there paying 60 quid a month on phone contracts?
i do like the john mcafee gimmick you knowalways gives me a smile
>>222386376s
>>222386397it's literally the only good gimmick in /brit/ history
Arrest women. Charge women. Indict women. Imprison women. Unanimously find women guilty on all charges. Sentence women to life in prison. Do not grant women parole. Deny women's appeals. Give women shots for extremely minor infractions. Put women on indefinite lockdown. Send women to solitary confinement. Feed women nutraloaf. Search women's cells for contraband. Make women submit to cavity searches. Look the other way when women are getting shanked in the rec room.
do women really liked being tied up? i
>>222386388you dont know what piss or "squirt" tastes like because you're a virginoid slugman
>>222386413don't see you coming up with any gimmicksjust sitting around posting about how nobody else posts good gimmicks?
sir wojak fetish
Good luck with your footie match tomorrow, dad.
>>222386277I dont really speak with many women, last time i spoke with one was 1 week ago.But yeah being actually white and having a funny accent is a big plus for a lot of them.
>>222386376lol
>>222386465you live in a shaggers paradise and choose not to speak to women?what the fuck are you doing man
>>222386430kindly shut your trap young man
hydration break
>>222386440wonder what she's doing now
>>222386428yeah
leftypol drinking his fat girlfriends piss and coping on brit that it was definitely totally not piss it was some other thing that comes out when they really really like sex
been up all night playing xbox while buzzing on the opioids
i'm 6 ft wide
I hate myself
>>222386505why do they like it?
>>222386485okay
>>222386460Thanks son
recently rediscovered the word "festoon" and will be on the lookout for an opportunity to use it
>>222386519>>222386520ktim
>>222386545was rendered reddit by daniel day lewis gangs of new york i'm afraid
>>222386541she's made for the beeb
>>222386559only watched the first 20 minutes or so of that many years ago so i'm quite happy to recuse myself of any association with that film or reddit
have been doing absolutely dire on the (you)s tonight
>>222386521its exciting and makes them feel controlled
sir oscar bobb
>>222386567Says it all really
You tell young Rorke I'm gonna paint the Montague Pyke with his blood. Two coats. I'll festoon my bedchamber with his guts.
>>222386572>>222386574free (You)s here!
>>222386595Smirking
got a new female co-toiler who went in for a handshake upon meeting me. feels inappropriate for a man and woman to shake hands if'n ya ask meshe was also a chink so she's probably got all sorts of bat soup diseases
ban vapesban cigarettesonly pipe smoking and cigars should be legal
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALS
feel like there must have been a class where my peers learned how to chat with women which i must have missedI've had mates who were complete simpletons in every way but yet they can effotlessly chat with women and im like some weird alien when it comes to it
>>222386541Definitely one of the hottest women in the world, but not a great pic desu.
>>222386640
>>222386631yehthere's a reason we all ended up here
hippopotamus
>>222386611Racist post
>>222386631It's just experience. You don't approach enough.
>he failed his shagging GCSELook at him. Look at him and laugh
>>222386658sexist too
>>222386631just imagine them as men with long hair
>>222386645would
>would
wish jewtube would stop recommending me AI slop
>>222386686he'd make a good one
>>222386686Clavicular surgery was a success i see
how do we wank when our bums are pooing
>>222386689Stop watching it then
One of my many regrets is not shagging a trans girl while I was single.
>>222386716i don't
>Tycen Proper, 19 and baldDis mio la creatura
if you fink about itwomen are just men wiv diffrent jeans innit
what's happening
>>222386740proper bald
>>222386759aye
>>222386740Even the revealing shirt. Shrek is an energy.
DEY. ATE. US.
musk already worth 1.3trillion now
>>222386748aye
>>222386356ktimtrying to break out the cycle. I thought it was all toil's fault but now I work part time and I still just doss about on my days off
this any good?
mad how some drug vendors on the darknet have virtual tip jars. why on earth would you want to tip a drug dealer (except maybe if you were good mates with them i guess), those guys must be rolling in dough so what do they need this yank-tier nonsense for?
>>222386813yeah
Incel status = walked
get the second language learntget the mind honed
Howling
>>222386853would be easier if we all spoke one language
>>222386397its a top tier gimmiquehas lots of creative potential those are the best
was dozing off just now and woke myself up with a fart
>>222386631I treat every woman like I've been their mate for 20 years. This naturally involves absolutely relentless verbal abuse. Some take to it and some don't.
>>222386861That's a rip-off of a really old post.
Sir David Paulden
>>222386861Chuckling
>>222386861my folks would probably be relieved if i came out as gay as it would explain no gftruth is i am bi but cant make a human connection
need a job where i just sit in a cubicle clicking a button over and over and over and over and over and over and over. dont want responsibilities. don't want hard work. dont want to move up the career ladder. just want the most menial job possible that doesn't destroy the body.
>>222386567would be more accurate if they were browner, sky is grey with smog and dust, and with shit and litter everywhere
hey what's up
>>222386611it's appropriate but it needs to be a dainty little handshake
sweaty girls
well I for one believe Dan Stevens deserves better than that shit series
>>222386967want to drink their sweat yummers yum yummers
>>222386923I look like this and shower like this
>>222386611what would you rather do, squeeze their breasts?
not permitted
>>222386967
>>222386987sup the nips
>>222386983who the fuck's diane
have you read the report y/n?
If I could make a wishI think I'd passCan't think of anything I needNo cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no soundNothing to eat, no books to readMaking love with youHas left me peaceful, warm, and tiredWhat more could I askThere's nothing left to be desiredPeace came upon me and it leaves me weakSo sleep, silent angelGo to sleep
got a poo stored in my bum to enhance the wank
>>222387036i think this is AI lads
>>222386631didn't have the faintest clue how to talk to women until I was around 20 when I looksmaxxed and threw myself in the deep end dating womenlost the 'ginity at 20 as well after a few dates I started getting good, after a dozen or two I was quite natural at it and a shagging machine pretty muchI'm still good at it but haven't had much practice. also depends heavily on how you feel about yourself. If you look great and are athletic and successful with friends and experiences then you naturally feel good and confident if you're a depressed loser you can still charm women but you'll lack the natural charisma of a chad
Finally managed to get the dream watch
>>222387065Are you 8030? The shagger who had sex with about 80 women by the time he was 30 and is now married?
>>222387065i don't want to be a shagging machine i just want a gf
>>222387013right well that's just plain obnoxious
Need Emma Watson to poot in my face.
im 30 years old, have slept with 15 women total but only about 5 of them were good looking
got a little bit of pubage around the base of my shaft (which i assume is normal)imagine if hair grew all over your knob right up to the bellend, or even ON the bellend, would be mentle
right sorry didnt realise 1 am on a wednesday was the big shagger hours on brit
im 150 years old and ive had sex with 1 woman
>>222387118i'm 31, shagged 6 women and they were all fit because they were prostitutes
>>222387127Yeah, we're all just about to have a little five aside if you want to join us
>>222386185
>>222387136This is who opposes the Online Safety Act
>>222386826the way yanks do "tipping" is some Kamala-voter loser mong trying to shame you into giving them a charitable donation to pad out their wageshaving a virtual tip jar is harmless and I reckon they'd get a lot of tips actually since the type of people who order drugs online are 'enthusiasts' who really love their drugs and they probably get rich drugmongs who are high as a kite and impulsively give the dealer a virtual tip whilst they're in a state of euphoria
>>222387132feels a bit gay to pay for sex innit >>222387127im unemployed, i lost my job because i kept not showing up for days
>>222387153yeah but i wasn't very well gonna get my ugly little end away by any other method now was i?also, i appreciate the honesty of just straight up paying for it, it feels more dignified than having to play all those weird mind games you need to do to get free range women to shag you
Right mate I meanget a clue
>>222387118Surprising. The women in Sweden are fit as fuck.
might become an entity
>>222386847this guy keeps avatarfagging his neonstrobe sextapes in those threads
>>222387082nahi used to post on here about my experiences in the upper echelons of the shaggerstocracy but at some point i realised i was being obnoxious so i only give the unsolicited tales of conquest rarely>>222387097tough to find a nice gf if you don't have experience dating women and being around themand if you're going to date lots of women you might as well be shagging them too
I see thru the bricks to the seaFACKIN STRAYAyou would not believe where I'm fromFACKIN STRAYA
>>222387182most of them have been ethnically non-swedes tbqh hottest one ive shagged was an irish lassie, but we had a falling out after i revealed my power level
just found out canonically the reason no one recognises superman as clark kent is because his glasses are made of kryptonite glass that hypnotise people into thinking he looks differenthere I always just thought lois lane and everyone else were just complete asdans
>>222387193how tall are you
it's cheesy eggs for dinner, again
>>222387208Or maybe it's just a comic and you should grow up and get a clue
>>222387208that's only sometimes canon. a lot of the time it's his demeanour that makes him unfathomable as superman.
>>222387136little nonce fella
>>222387219State of your farts
*approaches you at the train station*hey whitefulla u got a smoke dardy?
>>2223872166'
might become a virtual tip jar
>>222387233right well that's that then
>>222387223never read a superman comic in my lifeonly watched the first christopher reeve film and that's it
>>222387230oi give us a smoke you dog, white cunt gimme a fag
>>222387219never tried that. you use cheddar or 'murican cheese?
my dick, my balls, my nuts and my knob
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeve
>>222387244some of the biggest playas ive known were short kingsyou just compensate in other ways
was in the psych ward last week and this abo guy came in who kept glaring at me. it must be the abo's famous tracking skills that alerted him to the fact that i am extremely racist against his sort
>>222387252Monterey Jack, parmijan, mozza, any'll do
>>222387266come on mate that's not on
>>222387277did you know abbos call white "dogs"?
>>222387266Scrombobulating.
>>222387065did you use apps or you met women in real life? through uni/work etc.?
>>222387299of course mate i live here, also been called that by pacific islanders
With this depth of feeling come new ways of feeling:Dream into being, dream into being!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CM0s7wh10mU&t=550s
>>222387308i wanna go visit some time did you know it's quite common for Swedish girl to go to Australia for a gap year after high school where they work at farms and sleep around like crazy?
not sure if i'd rather have a family or live an adventurous life
>>222387266screping
checking the director and main 3 actors early life sections before i put on a film
>>222387328yeah a lot of europeans do that, plenty of french, germans, danish etc. aroundjust thank your lucky stars ivan milat (the backpacker murderer) is dead now, but even so i still wouldn't recommend hitchhiking
arsed up my life it's over
>>222387330living an adventurous life can only really occur between 17-25, if you miss it you miss it, and it doesn't prevent you from starting a family later on.
you lot wouldnt survive a day in my shoeshonestly believe that most people would have given up long, long ago in my situatiob
>>222387340i think it's funny how jason biggs often gets cast as a jewish character even though he's not a jew, he just looks like one
>>222387304mostly through the apps id say 80% of themi was in uni at the time and i was an autistic freak for the first two years and didnt have a reputation as one of the shagger chads even after ascendinghad some dates and a few easy opportunities with a few girls in my uni and fumbled them all, only exception being my current gf :)the apps are easy mode if you're good looking a godsend tbqh just becomes numbers game
>>222387358nonsense
>>222387352how so
Right bored of this now change the subject
>>222387377no mates no gf no job and I'm 29 this year
Why would you go bungee jumping in a third world shithole and act surprised when Mbongo and Joao forget to tie the bungee cord to your leg?
>>222387392You graduate?
>>222387404she wasn't surprised
>>222387410last year yh
>>222387421Just apply for graduate roles then, or do your masters
>>222387392no job and no gf happens to everyone but how do you not have any friends? x
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMc8i1IkFnIjust how awesome is this
>>222387404She was an e-thot trying to get footage bruh you know how it is
>>222387430have been applying innit>>222387431incredibly awkward demeanour
>>222387404fink she.lived in dat third world country
>>222387404Woman moment
>>222387439i want fuck she
the education system is filling our youth with misinformation about how non-whites are perfectly safe to be around and are just misunderstood
Can't stop farting awardSmelliest boy award
>>222387468now's your chance
don't ever want to get a job
>>222387404Its the blind faith that baffles me, if i ever did that, you're not throwing me off the bridge unless i check the rope first motherfucker.
AMBULANCE HUT AND RUN OVER PEDESTRIAN IN BRAZILLITTLE TIGER BOY SILDIERTWIST A CAP BACK AND KILLES NOIDEDI SEEN FOOTA-CRAZY SHIDDCRAZY SHIDDCRAZY SHIDD
Monday - humiliation,Tuesday - suffocation,Wednesday - condescension,Thursday - is patheticby friday, life has raped me by friday, life has raped me
>>222387492love the cure
>>222387492for me?pornography
>>222387486Attractive women don't think like that at all. They just saunter through the first 30 years of life having Simps take care of them. They're like overgrown children in so many ways
Is there anything remotely sympathetic about unironic ulsterites
>>222387532no al racismo
working on my dark smut short story “black pussy changed rorke”
>>222387532today I feel... racist
>>222387549There's already a movie about that. It won best picture last year.
https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1781624626520577.webm
>>222387554nah mine’s better. i’ll post it later. what do i name the black girl? and a last name for rorke
>>222387559they get up to some funny stuff over in China don't they
>>222387559zero chance i'm watching the rest of a video that looks like this
>>222387559How stupid do you have to be to get inside the crushing machine?
started to read the Rupert Lowe report but it's a lot of repetition innit yeah i get it, they got raped, no need for 200+ pages
>>222387598Put my arm in one once when I worked in a factory and got written up and fired shortly after
>>222387559right so why's he crawled inside the crusher then
the 3d world cup thing is cool
>>222387641scr
>>222387559>>222387611ALWAYS follow proper lockout/tagout procedures.
janny on that one like a whip
Janny crushed that post faster than a Chinaman in a factory
anybody watching the footy?
>>222387681yh x
>>222387681Giving Algeria my energy
that was a nice goal.Netanyahu must be scheming this
omds
Nevermind, looks like Big Fifa isnt allowing any goals today.
>>222387559woulda been funny if he died instantly in the crushing.but seeing him drag around his.mangled body blood everywhere is just very saddening
what happens in algeria
Would
NO ERA PENAL
Doom Eternal though, pretty fun. Am I about to say it's really fun? Maybe, I might. Would be a bit of a fib, I don't know how you guys feel about fibbing.
watching a camgirl who looks a little bit like olivia rodridgo
>>222387748i want to see olivia's rodrigo
>Austria/Australia>Budapest/Bucharest>Slovenia/SlovakiaWhy does it all have to be so confusing?
i cant believe it, my GOAT is washed.
might become non binary
It's no Tiger Woods PGA Golf 2003 I'll tell you that much
>>222387760>North America/United States of America
>>222387779nevermind, unc still got it.
hate seeing all the mongs with their phones out in the crowd
The fix is in
messy on a mad one
>>222387801wonder if ronaldo is going to turn into a botox monster as he gets older
>>222387818he does seem the type yeah
sir lionel messi
notorious bum driller on the loose
>le 'footy lad' look
>>222387833fucking nonce cunt
why’s his willy look like that
>>222387849nowt noncey about that it's just a transman's wilbert>>222387854
>>222387749
>>222387858she looks nothing like olivia rodrigo you mong
>>222387833Man made horrors.
shan't be clicking on any /gif/ links
this hydration break shit is pissing me off
people keep saying hydration breaks are just so they can show adverts but they are not showing adverts even on itv.
>>222387869we finally found a way to get more ads in
>>222387833Gross this isn't a Chinese man being horribly mangled
>>222387818he musta started by now
>>222387880They are on fox where I watch the world cup
>>222387889I mean it is a mangled man
>>222387880they are, what do you thnk them telling you enter that competition is? >>222387888fifa cunts will 100% make this standard. adverts on the kits and on the barriers for the full match simply isnt enough apparently
>>222387880they are here
>>222387904Mangled woman you mean. Have a fake skin graft “willy” sewn to your crotch does not make you a man.
>>222387916not a proper ad break though is it
wish argentina played senegal so I could make a "which team is which?" joke
why is messi just walking around slowly?
>>222387924give racism the red card mate
>>222387931The problem with Messi is he always tries to walk it in
>>222387931because he is nearly 40 and can't retire until ronaldo does
>>222387931he always does that, i think he has some sort of 6th sense, like he can see the playing field from the top down on his mind, know when is the best time to go on the offensive.
>diving against an old, geriatric geezerpathetic from algeria
>>222387931hes been doing thatlast 15 years
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98OFEa1FKb8absolute DIVA
>>222387983she fell off, no one is talking about her anymore
whats up with that magneto face mask
>>222387989im still wanking over her
imagine being messi and having to play with bums like lautaro
>>222387992he wears it so professor x (messi) doesn't read his mind
>>222387934gp
Ronaldo is watching the game isnt he
>>222387992>>222387951answer the question >>222388028
LOW SCORING AND TIES!
I'll just kill myself if Algeria doesn't win
>>222388035100 years ago, not a lot of difference. Nowadays, they're a bunch of fucking weirdos.
new>>222371621>>222371621>>222371621
What a dasterdly ruse
>>222388049that isn't a new
sir fake new
>>222387954I wonder if fifa added hydration breaks because of how geriatric most of the top players are.This is the "unc still got it" world cup.
right well that's mlp inflation fetish art
Someone make the new, I can't I'm on PIP
dark messi is done playing games.
Im going to bed, wont be seeing the second half, goodnight lads.
>>222388129>>222388129
>>222388127>>222388127>>222388127New
I will come to England and steal a job.
