You're laughing. We're sharting ourselves to death and you're laughing. You think this is funny? Huh?
People aren't dying because of it. They are just being hospitalized, stop being melodramatic.
What the fuck I took a runny shit 10 minutes ago
Just their patriotic body trying to expel the communist leech from their system
>>223100212That's gonna be $5000 for electrolytes + $750 for the nurse wiping your ass.
MASA (Make Americans Shart Again)
I had this. First day it felt like my stomach and intestines were completely locked and rigid, very uncomfortable, and then the next three days were just me shitting out gallons and gallons of water. Then it would go back to normal for a couple of days, then a day of more shitting, then back to normal, repeat for two weeks.I guarantee you it came from lettuce because the only vegetable I had eaten in the prior two weeks was a taco bell taco.
>>223100447try eating rice mixed with yogurtmakes you constipated so you won't ne shitting as much
>>223100330The price of freedom or something
>>223100188BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP
>>223100447Don't americans disinfect their vegetables?
>just another day for an alcoholic
>>223101431>Don't americans disinfect their vegetables?We do when they come from latam, but lately the (((farmers))) have been importing latinx workers who don't wash their hands.
>>223100447what state are you in???
>>223101641state of pain, clearly
>>223100447It was probably the battery acid energy drinks
>>223100188
>>223100447>taco bell tacos are considered vegetables in the US
>>223101641I want to know too
>>223100188I ordered taco bell as soon as I saw this thread, I feel fine though.
>>223100188in case you needed more proof that we have always been a brown country
>>223100447>the only vegetable I had eaten in the prior two weeks was a taco bell taco.
>>223100330+ tip
>>223100447Deliziosa
if only we had some sort of center that could control this disease
>>223100447I've seen news sources identifying taco bell as the source, yes
>>223102494Lel
>imports india>get diearrheaI woner why
>>223100447>I guarantee you it came from lettuce because the only vegetable I had eaten in the prior two weeks was a taco bell taco.So before that you've been eating meat only for 2 weeks?No wonder you have some shitty diarrheas.>>223101519Don't you wash your vegetables before cooking?
>>223100447>I guarantee you it came from lettuce because the only vegetable I had eaten in the prior two weeks was a taco bell taco....
>>223100188From a medical standpoint what's the difference between explosive diarrhea and regular diarrhea?
No worries, he'll disect a few more roadkills and get to the bottom of this
>>223100188*groans*Ugh...Fart!Shart!!
>>223100188>americans trying to pretend "shart in mart" is totally just a virusNice try
Zohran Mamdani did it
>>223100188>american chuds worry about brazilification>turn their country into congo
>>223104783Sharting is a bona fide American tradition thouhbeight
>>223100188SHART
>>223100330KEKKKKK
>>223100188We had a dangerous exotic strain of e-coli outbreak like 20 years ago. I wasn't allowed to eat non-boiled/cooked food for a week until they identified what product was contaminated (it was some hipster salad extra imported from egypt)
>>223100447>I guarantee you it came from lettuce because the only vegetable I had eaten in the prior two weeks was a taco bell taco.
Sharts and prayers
>>223100447Global boker face
>>223100330
>>223100447
you think Lindsey Graham sharted himself to death? He was only 71, that's still young for a jewish childeater
>>223100188How are the Walmarts doing bros? Are they even more flooded with shit than Terrifier screenings?
>>223110620There actually was a Canadian doctor who couldn't get Canadian fats to commit to any diet despite them being basically dying like 500+ lbsAnd in his book he explains he finally asked one guy "could you just eat bacon and eggs and nothing else for a month?"And the guy laughed and said of course So he did and started losing weight because he was getting all the protein he needed for his oversized organs, all the fat he could stand to satiate his gluttony, and it was still less calorie dense than a steady diet of carbs and soda So he just started putting all the fats on semi-keto diets with high fat and low carbs long term, and intermittent fasting, and it worked at making them less fat. I'm not willing to become an anti bread schizo over it but it was an interesting read, forget the name
They did the meme
>>223111884We love bread and butter and we're one one of the thinnest european countries. Bread makes you thin :D
>dogwalked and humilitated by Iran>dogwalked and mocked by Lelgium>cameras and soldiers everywhere>need ID to access half the internet>250th celebration was awful>people literally sharting themselves to death because of a fucking shit plaguethis was supposed to be /ouryear/, wtf
>>223113251you wanted the strongmanit almost always ends up with retards in power, nepotism, corruption and utter incompetenceno refunds
>>223101519>chud government fucks up (again)>rants about jews and mexicansfell for it again award
>>223100330+$50000 fentanyl, can't risk taking aspirin on an upset stomach
O SAY CAN YOU SHARTIN THE LOCAL WALMARTWHAT SO PROUDLY EXPELLEDFROM ANUS' LAST LEAKINGWHOSE BROAD STREAKS AND BROWN STARSTHROUGH THE PERILOUS BLIGHTO'ER AISLES WE WATCHED...SHIT GALLANTLY STREAMING
Blowing my farts in the direction of IsraelMay the flag of murica brap in the wind, god bless.
I'VE SHART SO HARDSHIT GOT SO FARAND IN THE ENDI'VE SPLATTERED FECAL MATTER
>>223113359when does this movie come out?
>>223113687Not bad at all broski
>>223113766My grandma is trying to sleep. Please sing quietly.
>>223105067>So before that you've been eating meat only for 2 weeks?Youre forgetting corn surup
>>223100447kek
>>223111884I was borderline obese and lost weight by laying off the bread
>>223113798We're already in it.
>>223100188I had diarrhea for 2 months now. Status of this disease on Spain? Am I dying?
>>223114520https://youtu.be/Vuwaljf6-6A?si=PJ9JC_2irT4sHeme&t=24
>>223100447>lettuce is the only vegetable I had eaten in the prior two weeksdo americans really
>>223113957Yeah I bet your grandma can't sleep at all with the constant shart sounds
>>223100188Do Amerisharts really...
>>223113000i can tell the 50.1 % must be browns
>>223100447>I guarantee you it came from lettuce because the only vegetable I had eaten in the prior two weeks was a taco bell taco.>Number 15 taco bell foot lettuce
>>223113388It fucked up by allowing them amnesty and citizenship in the 1980s, opening the flood gates. You used to be able to raise a family on your wages as a farm worker.
>>223100188[Breaking news]American politicians are now sharting in Congresshttps://xcancel.com/nypost/status/2077427074512396434#m
>>223100188STAY HOME TWO WEEKS TO SLOW THE SPREADWEAR A MASK
>>223100188OOHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>223100447>I guarantee you it came from lettuce because the only vegetable I had eaten in the prior two weeks was a taco bell taco
>>223100447>the only vegetable I had eaten in the prior two weeks was a taco bell tacomost american post i've ever seen
>>223100447>because the only vegetable I had eaten in the prior two weeks was a taco bell taco.
Fart!
>>223100188From my time on the internet Americans seem to have Diarrhea at least once a week which is ridiculous. This is nothing new for them.
>>223111884I can confirm that alternating between ketomaxxing and fasting every week will take the fat right off you, provided you're not a little bitch and can commit to the regimen because fasting for four days straight fucking suuuuuuucks. I went from 224 lbs. (sorry yuros idk what that converts to) down to 180 lbs. In a little under a month and a half with only light exercise. I wanted to kill myself by the end of it, but it works.
>>223101641>>223103653Michigan>>223105067>So before that you've been eating meat only for 2 weeks?Besides meat I eat grains and potatoes and soups and stuff. I guess I should have specified 'uncooked' vegetable but then the post wouldn't have gotten as many replies.
>>223100447>the only vegetable I had eaten in the prior two weeks was a taco bell tacoOh say can you seeeeeee
>>223100188>>223100330>>223100447Threads like these are why I am a self-hating American
>>223113251>>223113359AI bots and boomers from /pol/ will disagree, but you're right
>>223100447it's a bait post but pretty funny nonetheless