shit new because you lazy cunts wouldnt make one edition
sucking something, but let's not get all caught up on specifics
Where's the new?
keep losing weight despite eating like a pig, might have aids lads
I’m beside the bread,But not above it.I’m full when empty,And empty when full.What am I?
wasting my life working and still cant afford to live on my own meanwhile cunts who've never worked a day in their lives and never will get it all paid for out of MY taxes
www.rape.gov.au
Rorke's son
>>223932241sucking black hole of negativity?yeah that's /brit/ all right
you lot would've loved Mousey he was always posting images from King of the Hill. Hank Hill was his favourite
If there's a civil war in the UK it will be between the Pakistani/Muslim and Indian/Hindu diasporas
£25
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfd2rcXZjEM
9/11
>>223932292You're poor
Someone post something really really good....
mfw i spend £28.73 on a smash burger and a camden hells lager in shoreditch
>>223932322https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmyxGQ-tz10the evening's viewing
>>223932258dont know x
>>223932330you're a spacker. he's been reposting these images from reddit for weeks.
>>223932096potatoes are basically the least affected major crop since they're propagated vegetatively and a bitch and a half to breed or do genetic engineering on as a resultand you do in fact eat the same potatoes your great great granddad did, there are commercial cultivars which have not bred sexually since the 19th centurye.g. if you're eating Russet Burbank potatoes you're eating the clone of a plant from the 1870st. plant biotech guy
my mate who has not spoke to me properly in 6 months and has recently had a child with his fiance has started messaging. ive kept my replies short and sweet. should i invite him out for a walk or to the pub or something. concerned that he maybe spends all day every day with his woman and child and never gets out or speaks to anyone else and may feel a bit trapped or it could be all in my head and hes just making sure im alive
>9/11... funny!
for two days after having a red curry I've had what felt like a rancid toxic shit brewing that was absolutely decomposing my intestinesthis morning I was letting off farts that I had to stealth to the bathroom with the fan on for and was legitimately worried I'd shit myself while drivingnow the time finally comes and it's just a normal shit, nothing to write home about at allI'd been looking forward to a screaming diarrhoea poo hose all this time an just like that it's over
>>223932351thanks plant biotech guy!
>>223932362go for a drink with him
love the increasingly unhinged call-ins to howard stern
mmohoh ye mmthats lushoogh
>>223932371gutted
>>223932362fiancee. fiance is for males.
>>223932351>have not bred sexually since the 19th centuryktim
>>223932351>which have not bred sexually since the 19th centuryktim
was sexually breeding my potatoes the other day. had to go to A&E after i slipped and fell on one
>>223932226good tunehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw6Wjd9lALM
>>223932351>have not bred sexually since the 19th century ktim
the evening's viewing
knee still hurts fucking hell
>>223932402>>223932403frucjing sciht rooarfing
everyone under 40 is a fuck head
>>223932322I'd never heard of that bloke until he died and people started talking about him
>>223932264er some people can't work mate don't be mean yeah
>>223932423TALK MORE BUT DONT HECKIN TAKE A DAY OFF WORK OR COMPLAIN ABOUT CERTAIN DEMOGRAPHICS
most dolescum can work but just dont want to if you can't beat em join em! unfortunately i have over 100k in savings so i'm not eligible for UC unless i spend it all on a flat or something
>>223932351Is this the same for garlic and maybe onions as well?
>>223932460>>223932462rorke mate have a day off
>>223932351>Russet BurbankI think my university was one of them
any not bred sexually since the 19th century potato freak in
>>223932481have applied to 70 jobs and got nothingeven did 2 weeks full-time for a bottom of the barrel position that had 24 other applicants and still didn't get it!
>>223932543It's been over three years since I've had sex, I don't think I'll have it again.
far too early for tea but im getting mighty hungry
>>223932481Why would they work when they are better off on the dole? Blame the system. Also many of them can't work because they've been out of work so long no company will hire them, and it's not like there are any jobs anyway. Getting any form of stable employment in this country is basically a fluke>unfortunately i have over 100k in savings so i'm not eligible for UC unless i spend it all on a flat or somethingYou really should look into doing something with that money, investing it or something, because if it's just sitting in a bank account and you're wearing it down, it'll fall between your fingers before you know it.
>>223932481How much do you earn? Presumably you're mid 30s max, 100k is a lot to have saved in liquid, how comes it's too expensive for you to live alone?I'm on 22k and I live quite comfortably alone just outside of London
>>223932550what do you mean you did two weeks full time if you didn't get it
Haven't seen any "You'll do nothing" posters lately. Am genuinely surprised, thought it was a great bit and definitely not an annoying forced meme
poo just now was not entirely dissimilar from shooting giant orbeez from my arse hole
>>223932603faggot
>>223932590People on here with huge amounts in savings have lived at home with their parents for most of their life whilst working.
>I'm on 22k and I live quite comfortably alone just outside of Londonbollocks
Dont understand how brits afford to live
>>223932607it was like an in-office selection process over 2 weeks just to see who even deserves an interviewjob market moment!
>>223932496alliums are split in two camps, some are sexual and you have mostly modern varieties, some are basically obligate clonesonions are on one end of this spectrum, being bred readily and all the onions you eat are likely very modern varieties. garlic is on the extreme of the other end, it's basically sterile and unable to breed sexually anymore. you're eating clones of the same garlic dudes were eating 5000 years ago
>>223932558needs to get herself one of them spell reflecting shields then doesn't sheseems like the first thing you should do presuming spells exist and there are spell reflecting shields you can get
Dollymong
Russian woman who said “Kazakhstan belongs to Russia” on Twitch deported. During her streams, she mocked Kazakhs by referring to Pavlodar as a “Russian city” and Almaty as a “village,” calling Kazakhs “stinky” for not knowing the Russian language, along with numerous other insults directed at Kazakh
>>223932668>unable to breed sexually anymorektim
sir dragon dildo
>>223932684She fit? Tits? Arse?
was going to reply to that but then a funny triangle come up on me screen
>>223932241on a whim?
Euros are a mindboggling race You complain about modern Russia while openly wishing they had supported the USSR over the US during the Cold War without realizing its the exact same thing with a veneer of socialism
I wanna have a kid.
*yawn*
>>223932727better left unsaid x
any man inna de yard on dey batty man ting ?
imagine being such a waste of space that you constantly complain about how shit your life is and never do anything about it and then lash out at people who have it better than youwaste of oxygen really arent you
just found out that one of the storror members is a nonce fucking screaming
>>223932226Why do black people in the UK act more civilized than the ones in america? It shocks me because the ones here are racist towards every other group aren't liked by anyone
>>223932721pretty fit
>>223932608You'll do nothing about it
>>223932668Very cool, thank you
obsessulated
on reddit trying to understand neopronouns
>>223932776Imagine having sex with a girl who has big boobs on
people who have it better than me thanks to the over 10 grand of tax and NI i pay a year meanwhile even a 1 bed incelflat is like £1000 a month here
>>223932828on...?
this shit got rorke goin feral
bit harsh to publish this today
>>223932832not everyone is on benefits like that cuntyou dont do anything ever all you do is complain about everyone because its NEVER your fault is it
>>223932832who are you most angry at about that?
any 1 bed incelflat man in?
The "people" of the british isles are no different to single celled organisms in chatm and charisma, in my eyes
Incel this, incel that, how about getting in a woman's cels
>>223932918kill them all i say
>>223932911rent an incel room me
>>223932941https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aysgjIOdGnI
Is it easy to get on PIP by pretending you've got autism or whateverWon't they ask for extensive medical records backing it up? Just getting a diagnosis on it's own won't be sufficient will it.
[YouTube] Badlands Chugs world record longest and loudest burp (embed)
>>223932918*squirms and writhes towards you using my flagellum*
candymaxxing
at least i have a few years of savings before the inevitable suicide once claude takes my job!
This girl at work today said she thought I had autism because of 'my mannerisms' and she said one was the way I drank from a glassIs it hopeless trying to pass when they write you off for the tiniest thing?
>>223933009get the sour skittles ordered instead you mong
>>223932809there is wild garlic in central asia though and I bet there are people right now doing projects right now to use it to restore breedability to garlic and make it possible to start "improving" it again. in potatoes that's a major area of research atm.I like the opposite approach that a few labs are doing, where they're studying domestication genes to figure out how to very quickly "uplift" wild species into something commercially viable instead of the more laborious approach of trying to get their genes into plants which are already cultivated.
>>223933037
>>223933037What you do is become competent and whenever they talk to you in any capacity tell them to be quiet
I'm a baker so claude can't take my job yet
when is that emergency alert meant to stopdoing my head in now barely slept last night
learn 2 turn a wrench
niggas be like “claude please don’t take my job my nigga!” entire time they use claude to do their job lol
>>223932979Doctors take what you say on good faith. If you have the brass neck for it you can just keep making appointments, lying to them, whining, until you get diagnosed with whatever you want.Then you submit your PIP claim with diagnoses to back up the lies you tell the PIP assessors. It's all about not being ashamed of lying, not being ashamed of gaming the system, in order to get what you want. If you're not willing to do these things then you won't win the prize. You have to get down in the mud, you can't just say "I'm sad I don't want to work anymore". You need to methodically create a medically supported picture that you are totally incompetent and be comfortable sitting in front of any number of people telling bare faced lies to support this, until you get your way.
>>223933072mine stopped when the lady stopped speaking wdym
>>223932796because it's more of a cultural thing than a racial one you fucking retard could have figured that out yourself
>>223933009Mental how peng Reese’s products are. Yank goyslop is so top tier nobody has you lads beat.
finally got a new toil interview booked on wednesday, going back to bending metal in fun machines hopefully do you lot also have to suffer through recruitment companies to work in factories in bongland?
>>223933009do people really get bi-monthly deliveries from amazon for sweets
just rorke raped my own arse
>>223932664shouldn't even be legal
What makes him talk all day about this “Rorke” character he made up?
>>223933141Why do you hate America and the American people
this nigga complaining is the same nigga who keeps coming in here saying he's going to kill himself I betdont worry be happy n that
>>223933190yanks cursed the world with the idea of self-governance, which has been an unmitigated catastrophe
>>223932558texas will go blue eventually, hispanics vote overwhelmingly democratat least you brits have mid easternerns who are socially conservative and will quickly assimilate into your culture
>>223933131People actually come and recruit me for jobs instead of me going grovelling to them. I actually concontrated in school, you see.
did fuck all today except move some brackets and re-hang the radiator that used to be crooked
>>223933257not in english though apparently
>Football (Soccer) Invented in England >RugbyInvented in England>CricketInvented in England >BoxingInvented in England >Baseball Invented in England >Golf Invented in Scotland>Ice Hockey Invented in Canada >BasketballInvented in Canada >Tennis Invented in France>"Football" (Handegg)Invented in the USA Mental really isn't it? Without the empire you'd only have tennis and handegg.
aff oot wae umpup
ICE reminds me of the thugs i used to beat up in spiderman ps1 game
>>223933257think you’re retarded, a recruitment company hires you as a consultant, and leases you out to a factory who needs the workforce it’s a pernicious way of skirting unions and contracts, but the only way these days to gain relevant experience in industrial production
>>223933304this combined with every other invention from western europe makes you wonder what the fuck the rest of humanity has been doing for the last 2 millennia
>>223933298Baited for this exact response
The only people at my toil that were headhunted for the role were absolute trashBecause the worst thing you can give a manager is what they asked for
might fly down to london take a taxi to 10 downing street and stick my middle finger up at the gate
right off ot aldi to get pie booze and ice cream
>>223933190you could answer that question with an essay
>>223933364what about a big poo on the head
>>223933342Don’t recall asking?
Tea will be in 20 minutes
cody fetch the caaandy
>>223933407you’re not very funny, honestly
shagged a few chinese prostitutes in the past but sometimes I think the women may have been trafficked or coerced somehow into it. You knock on the door and some suspicious chinaman from some snakehead triad gang gives you the secret nod code and brings you in to a room where a the woman pounces on you. Great sex though
spaki whipping out the spanish vpn for old times sake is it
bonkers that 9/11 happened
>>223933430You should be publicly executed by being flayed alive
Seems more likely that north korea would be annexed by china as opposed to reunification with the south
>>223933413shut up tyler you ate all the nugaar now i gotta hit up the k-mart cause of your fat ass
>>223933430and is it true they have sideways fannies?
>>223933468not really . par for the course for US government
>>223933478trying too hard mate
>>223933430me I'd get confused and start shagging the chinaman and only realise my mistake when the prozzie comes out to see what's going on then I'd run away in shame
>>223933468It didn't though did it
just dropped a bar of soap down the toilet
>>223933430screenshoting this to cancel you as soon as you you become famous
>meeting up with some people who I havent seen in ages>one of them announces they'll be bringing a total stranger with them like 15 minutes before we're due to meetI fucking DESPISE this shit. I fucking hate the little faggot that asked to come along too because who the fuck does that? Who the fuck wants to be a spare where mates are catching up with each other?Fucking faggot.
>>223933529i know you think your shit might smell of roses, but calling it a bar of soap is a stretch
>>223933345CrossbowsGunpowderPaper from woodMovable typeYou roundeyes just special plead for being the centre of innovation because it's easier to simplify your history by ignoring anything that happened east of Bulgaria between the years 500 and 1500
>>223933430How do you find the prostitutes? I remember near Chinatown there was a flat with a door open and it had a sign saying model with an arrow putting up the stairs. Scary. Exciting
>>223933529Did that by accident after my first ever wank
just popped a bar of soap up my arse so my farts dont smell
installed Bluetooth adapter with a large antenna on my PC and now have reception throughout the house for my headphones
bit unorthodox but i might go to the supermarket, saturday evening, not common, that
no offence but I hope Employed Woman is doing well
howling
>>223933543I met a girl from way back in school for coffee one time and she brought her 19 year old daughter
rorke is actually like bidet? what are you bent? *shoves an entire bar of soap up my poo tube instead* bruh...
>>223933555All part of the thrill. Get a few drinks down you and just head up the stairs. You press a buzzer and someone will open the door and take you to a room thats free with a woman in it. You legally have to give the money to the woman you're shagging apparently, anyone else and its paying a pimp
>>223933577just use iphone and your airpods?
Distribute chemicals in the water that prevents XY chromosomes from forming so that 75% of the population is female and men do not compete for mates or instinctually carry out violent displays of manhood psychologically inherited from chimpanzeesFirst test sample must be on the ganghes, if the results are effective then the rest of india and the world. Must beware of muslim populations where this could lead to an unsustainable population explosion
i've noticed there are a few of CCP spies in /brit/. there's one with an australian flag and one with a spanish flag. then there's the one whose twitter screenshots are in chinese
Rorke doing a silent disco dance as he does the dishes
>>223933628wailing
>>223933618Hope he isn't
>>223933645meds, now
>>223933645mentioned
Boobook owl outside making a bloody racketNever getting back to sleep at this rate
Another episode of pacing my incel studio and ruminating about people from the past who I wish I could get back at
>>223933630You know the question and I await the answer.
They were gonna kill trump and he got on a different plane and left other niggas on the vulnerable one
>>223933630Alri Unc
>>223933645thought we'd all decided the chinese were good lads?if they're not we may need to re-assess
>>223932805>>223932684russians are literal subhumans who will see a better country and just NEED to rape it into dust if they cant have it for themselves literal white nig gypsies
>>223933009>5 days for candylol?
>>223933628
Do you follow yank sports?
>heyy babe, just got back from jiu jitsu practice!
the scores
>>223933638don't carry my phone everywhereand definitely don't want it connected to my headphones making me hear every stupid notification or some cunt calling when I'm chilling doing some woodworking or DIY
>>223933710don’t be so harsh
>>223933731in what world do 22% of sports fans follow mls
>>223933430When I was in Dongguan for CNY in 2024 I saw a prostitute but it was very obvious she was forced to sell sex and it made me feel really sad so I just had her wank me off then I left awkwardlyDongguan is known for having a big underground sex scene so the whole thing is already quite shady but yeah it was just a bit much for meI remember feeling too guilty to eat that night
>>223933710sounds more like americans
found out that the body prejudices female genes when times are tough because they're more essential to species continuation since the same guy can do more than one many times. so during plentiful times boys are slightly more likely to be born . so now in my head any time someone i know has a boy i think how it;s a negative effect of living in a consumerist unsustainable clown world etc and anyone someone i know has a girl i naturally assume it's because they're a bad mum who was starving or smoking during pregnancy or something
>>223933738reading these out in a posh voice like they used to do on the news
>>223933731I watched NFL for a bit while I was at uni because my sleep schedule was totally fucked.I don't miss watching it at all.
the bluetooth dewice is reedy to pair
>>223933776I liked how that chap occasionally sounded surprised
>>223933734leave it on reddit next time
>>223933785It's device actually
just grew up and gained a cluethink i'll rape my own arse now
>>223933710>>223933765sounds like [country i dont like] because of [confirmation bias]
>>223933698No I did not. We were meeting because we were planning a 15 year school theatre club reunion thing. I guess she brought the daughter to show her off because she had her at 15 and I knew her as a baby basically
>>223933774just means mum is a stress head
2 people have died of exploding diarrhoea in Michigan
sir far right
some really, really unfunny spastics in this thread today that you just know have been sat here in the dark with the curtains closed posting on here since the morning.
>>223933852rest in pooces
>>223933845
>>223933852did the guy with the diarrhoea survive?
>>223933850well how that manifests in women is usually anorexia or cigarettes so we said the same thing
Surely there's a few of you that would be into our Rugby LeagueReally the only show in town for what is still a global code
>>223933870i don't have curtains actually
>>223933882boo hoo
ukraine's independence is worth it, even if we have to fund the draft units until the last ukrainian is dead
perhaps the boldest lie was that this buck had 2 kidssweet as a sugar plum fairy
>>223933904Do you know what the word Ukraine means?
>>223933890fair enough, probably more likely to be stress eating while pregnant though imho
>>223933913this whole story is giving me deja vu. feels very 2017
They way they go on you'd think it was called Mekraine not Youkraine
Tanning lad here. At the park catching some rays rn.
my whole algorithm on youtube now is just american bodycam videosTEEN MOM MURDERS WHOLE FAMILY - REGRETS IT
BRING BACK CEEFAXBRING BACK WHITE DOGSHITBRING BACK SMOKING FAGS IN PUBSARGHHHHH!!!!
>>223933882you are braindead if you link the swede's original post to the consequences of sanctions
Has anyone heard from Employed Woman today? She hasn't joined in the morning de lads team meeting on the SSM discord
>>223933922maybe that explains why girls are getting chunkier
>>223933919freedom, justice, democracy, stability, equal rights
me I use mullvad browser with anonymised letterboxed browsing and purge my identity and change the VPN once an hour and don't have a youtube account
Did I ever tell you about the time I faked my own death and went to a gay sauna to join a no loads refused party
Mum's made a lasagne lads
>>223933971why’s that then
a man killed himself. not really funny is it
>>223934006Please tell us
>>223934005:/
>>223934014needs more carbs mate
Reckon someone else killed him and he's just taking credit for it
>>223934054s
>>223934027depends was he wearing clown makeup
>>223934054
>>223933952It were the SSRIs officer
This is what Mousey's like in every thread as he bellows that he hates attention
>>223934020because sanctions dont happen solely when someone sees a better country and "needs" to destroy it?
>>223934054fucking screaming
>>223934054you stole that from sickipedia
>>223934082yeah it is a bit like him
Mousecord rallying around a joke which has already been made many many times in the past 24 hours
>>223934054mocking the dead? funny.
>>223934088they’re imposed to rape a country into dust because america doesn’t like it. the ‘better’ part is irrelevant
>>223934082grow up
Unexpected Nigger In Bagging Area
what to have hmm
>>223934150
>>223934082>wahh I hate attention *swears shite all over the walls* LOL that's our Tobes
ah yes the mousecordand mouseyand heathermong as well! yeah wow*turns to doctor*he's not going to make is he?
parasitecord on a madone
no-one mentioned heathermong Heathermong
leftypol playing as a femalerorke playing as a non-human male character
>>223934014grow up
Spare me your maudlin platitudes. Arday was a worthless know-nothing who was allowed to cosplay as an academic at the expense of his students because of his skin colour. People like him have been poisoning our education system for far too long.
>>223934152>noodle kugel>briskethmm wonder who's behind these delicacies
20,000 times in 2026
>>223934138yeh russia, iran, and north korea are sanctioned for no reason other than that we dont like them. surenot even defending sanctions, i think they are there for equally retarded reasons but infantilizing every country against USA is bizarre
>>223934254that poster is crazy
but 23,000 times in by the whole of 2025
>>223934254does this demoralise you by any chance, mouldie?
>>223934152Tuesday Fondue NightImagine the alien guffs afterwards
any professional neet man in? Need advice on the dole
>>223934186aren't we all
>>223934152did they not have replicators on that one
first can of beeroid down the gullet
>>223934294I get £1400 plus my rent paid for I never ask to be born
>>223934294Ask away son
another news story learned from /brit/
>>223934254>>223934282Rorke is quintessentially /brit/ish
>>223934235https://youtube.com/watch?v=sz7JGCj4Q5k
lets see if we can reach 30,000 by the end of 2026
>>223934261>yeh russia, iran, and north korea are sanctioned for no reason other than that we dont like themyeah basicallywhy else?
>>223934316nah they had a chef
pictured: mouse discreetly confirming that he does not want attention
big bear on the hunt
America has been itching for a fight with China for 25 years now lets be honest
do gay incels exist
can't believe I had this stupid fucking medieval swampspeak screaming at me five minutes before I got the legible version, neither of which I needed
>>223934405do i know him? he's me
+1 to rorkes postcount
>>223934393too bad thats a secondary priority to funding israeli shenanigans
you've never poo screamed in your life
>>223934392poo seal
raping rorke