sucking something, but let's not get all caught up on specifics

Where's the new?

keep losing weight despite eating like a pig, might have aids lads

I’m beside the bread,
But not above it.
I’m full when empty,
And empty when full.

What am I?

wasting my life working and still cant afford to live on my own meanwhile cunts who've never worked a day in their lives and never will get it all paid for out of MY taxes

www.rape.gov.au

Rorke's son

>>223932241
sucking black hole of negativity?
yeah that's /brit/ all right

you lot would've loved Mousey
he was always posting images from King of the Hill. Hank Hill was his favourite

If there's a civil war in the UK it will be between the Pakistani/Muslim and Indian/Hindu diasporas

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£25

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfd2rcXZjEM

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9/11

>>223932292
You're poor

Someone post something really really good....

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mfw i spend £28.73 on a smash burger and a camden hells lager in shoreditch

>>223932322
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmyxGQ-tz10
the evening's viewing

>>223932258
dont know x

>>223932330
you're a spacker. he's been reposting these images from reddit for weeks.

>>223932096
potatoes are basically the least affected major crop since they're propagated vegetatively and a bitch and a half to breed or do genetic engineering on as a result

and you do in fact eat the same potatoes your great great granddad did, there are commercial cultivars which have not bred sexually since the 19th century

e.g. if you're eating Russet Burbank potatoes you're eating the clone of a plant from the 1870s

t. plant biotech guy

my mate who has not spoke to me properly in 6 months and has recently had a child with his fiance has started messaging. ive kept my replies short and sweet. should i invite him out for a walk or to the pub or something. concerned that he maybe spends all day every day with his woman and child and never gets out or speaks to anyone else and may feel a bit trapped

or it could be all in my head and hes just making sure im alive

>9/11... funny!

for two days after having a red curry I've had what felt like a rancid toxic shit brewing that was absolutely decomposing my intestines
this morning I was letting off farts that I had to stealth to the bathroom with the fan on for and was legitimately worried I'd shit myself while driving
now the time finally comes and it's just a normal shit, nothing to write home about at all
I'd been looking forward to a screaming diarrhoea poo hose all this time an just like that it's over

>>223932351
thanks plant biotech guy!

>>223932362
go for a drink with him

love the increasingly unhinged call-ins to howard stern

mm

oh

oh ye

mm

thats lush

oogh

>>223932371
gutted

>>223932362
fiancee. fiance is for males.

>>223932351
>have not bred sexually since the 19th century
ktim

>>223932351
>which have not bred sexually since the 19th century
ktim

was sexually breeding my potatoes the other day. had to go to A&E after i slipped and fell on one

>>223932226
good tune

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lw6Wjd9lALM

>>223932351
>have not bred sexually since the 19th century
ktim

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the evening's viewing

knee still hurts fucking hell

>>223932402
>>223932403
frucjing sciht rooarfing

everyone under 40 is a fuck head

>>223932322
I'd never heard of that bloke until he died and people started talking about him

>>223932264
er some people can't work mate don't be mean yeah

>>223932423
TALK MORE BUT DONT HECKIN TAKE A DAY OFF WORK OR COMPLAIN ABOUT CERTAIN DEMOGRAPHICS

most dolescum can work but just dont want to
if you can't beat em join em!
unfortunately i have over 100k in savings so i'm not eligible for UC unless i spend it all on a flat or something

>>223932351
Is this the same for garlic and maybe onions as well?

>>223932460
>>223932462
rorke mate have a day off

>>223932351
>Russet Burbank
I think my university was one of them

any not bred sexually since the 19th century potato freak in

>>223932481
have applied to 70 jobs and got nothing
even did 2 weeks full-time for a bottom of the barrel position that had 24 other applicants and still didn't get it!

>>223932543
It's been over three years since I've had sex, I don't think I'll have it again.

far too early for tea but im getting mighty hungry

>>223932481
Why would they work when they are better off on the dole? Blame the system. Also many of them can't work because they've been out of work so long no company will hire them, and it's not like there are any jobs anyway. Getting any form of stable employment in this country is basically a fluke

>unfortunately i have over 100k in savings so i'm not eligible for UC unless i spend it all on a flat or something
You really should look into doing something with that money, investing it or something, because if it's just sitting in a bank account and you're wearing it down, it'll fall between your fingers before you know it.

>>223932481
How much do you earn?
Presumably you're mid 30s max, 100k is a lot to have saved in liquid, how comes it's too expensive for you to live alone?
I'm on 22k and I live quite comfortably alone just outside of London

>>223932550
what do you mean you did two weeks full time if you didn't get it

Haven't seen any "You'll do nothing" posters lately. Am genuinely surprised, thought it was a great bit and definitely not an annoying forced meme

poo just now was not entirely dissimilar from shooting giant orbeez from my arse hole

>>223932603
faggot

>>223932590
People on here with huge amounts in savings have lived at home with their parents for most of their life whilst working.

>I'm on 22k and I live quite comfortably alone just outside of London
bollocks

Dont understand how brits afford to live

>>223932607
it was like an in-office selection process over 2 weeks just to see who even deserves an interview
job market moment!

>>223932496
alliums are split in two camps, some are sexual and you have mostly modern varieties, some are basically obligate clones

onions are on one end of this spectrum, being bred readily and all the onions you eat are likely very modern varieties. garlic is on the extreme of the other end, it's basically sterile and unable to breed sexually anymore. you're eating clones of the same garlic dudes were eating 5000 years ago

>>223932558
needs to get herself one of them spell reflecting shields then doesn't she
seems like the first thing you should do presuming spells exist and there are spell reflecting shields you can get

Dollymong

Russian woman who said “Kazakhstan belongs to Russia” on Twitch deported. During her streams, she mocked Kazakhs by referring to Pavlodar as a “Russian city” and Almaty as a “village,” calling Kazakhs “stinky” for not knowing the Russian language, along with numerous other insults directed at Kazakh

>>223932668
>unable to breed sexually anymore
ktim

sir dragon dildo

>>223932684
She fit? Tits? Arse?

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was going to reply to that but then a funny triangle come up on me screen

>>223932241
on a whim?

Euros are a mindboggling race
You complain about modern Russia while openly wishing they had supported the USSR over the US during the Cold War without realizing its the exact same thing with a veneer of socialism

I wanna have a kid.

*yawn*

>>223932727
better left unsaid x

any man inna de yard on dey batty man ting ?

imagine being such a waste of space that you constantly complain about how shit your life is and never do anything about it and then lash out at people who have it better than you
waste of oxygen really arent you

just found out that one of the storror members is a nonce fucking screaming

>>223932226
Why do black people in the UK act more civilized than the ones in america? It shocks me because the ones here are racist towards every other group aren't liked by anyone

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>>223932721
pretty fit

>>223932608
You'll do nothing about it

>>223932668
Very cool, thank you

obsessulated

on reddit trying to understand neopronouns

>>223932776
Imagine having sex with a girl who has big boobs on

people who have it better than me thanks to the over 10 grand of tax and NI i pay a year meanwhile even a 1 bed incelflat is like £1000 a month here

>>223932828
on...?

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this shit got rorke goin feral

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bit harsh to publish this today

>>223932832
not everyone is on benefits like that cunt
you dont do anything ever all you do is complain about everyone because its NEVER your fault is it

>>223932832
who are you most angry at about that?

any 1 bed incelflat man in?

The "people" of the british isles are no different to single celled organisms in chatm and charisma, in my eyes

Incel this, incel that, how about getting in a woman's cels

>>223932918
kill them all i say

>>223932911
rent an incel room me

>>223932941
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aysgjIOdGnI

Is it easy to get on PIP by pretending you've got autism or whatever

Won't they ask for extensive medical records backing it up? Just getting a diagnosis on it's own won't be sufficient will it.

[YouTube] Badlands Chugs world record longest and loudest burp (embed)

>>223932918
*squirms and writhes towards you using my flagellum*

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candymaxxing

at least i have a few years of savings before the inevitable suicide once claude takes my job!

This girl at work today said she thought I had autism because of 'my mannerisms' and she said one was the way I drank from a glass

Is it hopeless trying to pass when they write you off for the tiniest thing?

>>223933009
get the sour skittles ordered instead you mong

>>223932809
there is wild garlic in central asia though and I bet there are people right now doing projects right now to use it to restore breedability to garlic and make it possible to start "improving" it again. in potatoes that's a major area of research atm.

I like the opposite approach that a few labs are doing, where they're studying domestication genes to figure out how to very quickly "uplift" wild species into something commercially viable instead of the more laborious approach of trying to get their genes into plants which are already cultivated.

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>>223933037

>>223933037
What you do is become competent and whenever they talk to you in any capacity tell them to be quiet

I'm a baker so claude can't take my job yet

when is that emergency alert meant to stop
doing my head in now barely slept last night

learn 2 turn a wrench

niggas be like “claude please don’t take my job my nigga!” entire time they use claude to do their job lol

>>223932979
Doctors take what you say on good faith. If you have the brass neck for it you can just keep making appointments, lying to them, whining, until you get diagnosed with whatever you want.

Then you submit your PIP claim with diagnoses to back up the lies you tell the PIP assessors. It's all about not being ashamed of lying, not being ashamed of gaming the system, in order to get what you want. If you're not willing to do these things then you won't win the prize. You have to get down in the mud, you can't just say "I'm sad I don't want to work anymore". You need to methodically create a medically supported picture that you are totally incompetent and be comfortable sitting in front of any number of people telling bare faced lies to support this, until you get your way.

>>223933072
mine stopped when the lady stopped speaking wdym

>>223932796
because it's more of a cultural thing than a racial one you fucking retard
could have figured that out yourself

>>223933009
Mental how peng Reese’s products are. Yank goyslop is so top tier nobody has you lads beat.

finally got a new toil interview booked on wednesday, going back to bending metal in fun machines hopefully
do you lot also have to suffer through recruitment companies to work in factories in bongland?

>>223933009
do people really get bi-monthly deliveries from amazon for sweets

just rorke raped my own arse

>>223932664
shouldn't even be legal

What makes him talk all day about this “Rorke” character he made up?

>>223933141
Why do you hate America and the American people

this nigga complaining is the same nigga who keeps coming in here saying he's going to kill himself I bet
dont worry be happy n that

>>223933190
yanks cursed the world with the idea of self-governance, which has been an unmitigated catastrophe

>>223932558
texas will go blue eventually, hispanics vote overwhelmingly democrat
at least you brits have mid easternerns who are socially conservative and will quickly assimilate into your culture

>>223933131
People actually come and recruit me for jobs instead of me going grovelling to them. I actually concontrated in school, you see.

did fuck all today except move some brackets and re-hang the radiator that used to be crooked

>>223933257
not in english though apparently

>Football (Soccer)
Invented in England
>Rugby
Invented in England
>Cricket
Invented in England
>Boxing
Invented in England
>Baseball
Invented in England
>Golf
Invented in Scotland
>Ice Hockey
Invented in Canada
>Basketball
Invented in Canada
>Tennis
Invented in France
>"Football" (Handegg)
Invented in the USA

Mental really isn't it? Without the empire you'd only have tennis and handegg.

aff oot wae umpup

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ICE reminds me of the thugs i used to beat up in
spiderman ps1 game

>>223933257
think you’re retarded, a recruitment company hires you as a consultant, and leases you out to a factory who needs the workforce
it’s a pernicious way of skirting unions and contracts, but the only way these days to gain relevant experience in industrial production

>>223933304
this combined with every other invention from western europe makes you wonder what the fuck the rest of humanity has been doing for the last 2 millennia

>>223933298
Baited for this exact response

The only people at my toil that were headhunted for the role were absolute trash
Because the worst thing you can give a manager is what they asked for

might fly down to london take a taxi to 10 downing street and stick my middle finger up at the gate

right off ot aldi to get pie booze and ice cream

>>223933190
you could answer that question with an essay

>>223933364
what about a big poo on the head

>>223933342
Don’t recall asking?

Tea will be in 20 minutes

cody fetch the caaandy

>>223933407
you’re not very funny, honestly

shagged a few chinese prostitutes in the past but sometimes I think the women may have been trafficked or coerced somehow into it. You knock on the door and some suspicious chinaman from some snakehead triad gang gives you the secret nod code and brings you in to a room where a the woman pounces on you. Great sex though

spaki whipping out the spanish vpn for old times sake is it

bonkers that 9/11 happened

>>223933430
You should be publicly executed by being flayed alive

Seems more likely that north korea would be annexed by china as opposed to reunification with the south

>>223933413
shut up tyler you ate all the nugaar now i gotta hit up the k-mart cause of your fat ass

>>223933430
and is it true they have sideways fannies?

>>223933468
not really . par for the course for US government

>>223933478
trying too hard mate

>>223933430
me I'd get confused and start shagging the chinaman and only realise my mistake when the prozzie comes out to see what's going on then I'd run away in shame

>>223933468
It didn't though did it

just dropped a bar of soap down the toilet

>>223933430
screenshoting this to cancel you as soon as you you become famous

>meeting up with some people who I havent seen in ages
>one of them announces they'll be bringing a total stranger with them like 15 minutes before we're due to meet
I fucking DESPISE this shit. I fucking hate the little faggot that asked to come along too because who the fuck does that? Who the fuck wants to be a spare where mates are catching up with each other?

Fucking faggot.

>>223933529
i know you think your shit might smell of roses, but calling it a bar of soap is a stretch

>>223933345
Crossbows
Gunpowder
Paper from wood
Movable type
You roundeyes just special plead for being the centre of innovation because it's easier to simplify your history by ignoring anything that happened east of Bulgaria between the years 500 and 1500

>>223933430
How do you find the prostitutes? I remember near Chinatown there was a flat with a door open and it had a sign saying model with an arrow putting up the stairs. Scary. Exciting

>>223933529
Did that by accident after my first ever wank

just popped a bar of soap up my arse so my farts dont smell

installed Bluetooth adapter with a large antenna on my PC and now have reception throughout the house for my headphones

bit unorthodox but i might go to the supermarket, saturday evening, not common, that

no offence but I hope Employed Woman is doing well

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howling

>>223933543
I met a girl from way back in school for coffee one time and she brought her 19 year old daughter

rorke is actually like bidet? what are you bent? *shoves an entire bar of soap up my poo tube instead* bruh...

>>223933555
All part of the thrill. Get a few drinks down you and just head up the stairs. You press a buzzer and someone will open the door and take you to a room thats free with a woman in it. You legally have to give the money to the woman you're shagging apparently, anyone else and its paying a pimp

>>223933577
just use iphone and your airpods?

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Distribute chemicals in the water that prevents XY chromosomes from forming so that 75% of the population is female and men do not compete for mates or instinctually carry out violent displays of manhood psychologically inherited from chimpanzees

First test sample must be on the ganghes, if the results are effective then the rest of india and the world. Must beware of muslim populations where this could lead to an unsustainable population explosion

i've noticed there are a few of CCP spies in /brit/. there's one with an australian flag and one with a spanish flag. then there's the one whose twitter screenshots are in chinese

Rorke doing a silent disco dance as he does the dishes

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>>223933628
wailing

>>223933618
Hope he isn't

>>223933645
meds, now

>>223933645
mentioned

Boobook owl outside making a bloody racket
Never getting back to sleep at this rate

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Another episode of pacing my incel studio and ruminating about people from the past who I wish I could get back at

>>223933630
You know the question and I await the answer.

They were gonna kill trump and he got on a different plane and left other niggas on the vulnerable one

>>223933630
Alri Unc

>>223933645
thought we'd all decided the chinese were good lads?
if they're not we may need to re-assess

>>223932805
>>223932684
russians are literal subhumans who will see a better country and just NEED to rape it into dust if they cant have it for themselves
literal white nig gypsies

>>223933009
>5 days for candy
lol?

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>>223933628

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Do you follow yank sports?

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>heyy babe, just got back from jiu jitsu practice!

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the scores

>>223933638
don't carry my phone everywhere

and definitely don't want it connected to my headphones making me hear every stupid notification or some cunt calling when I'm chilling doing some woodworking or DIY

>>223933710
don’t be so harsh

>>223933731
in what world do 22% of sports fans follow mls

>>223933430
When I was in Dongguan for CNY in 2024 I saw a prostitute but it was very obvious she was forced to sell sex and it made me feel really sad so I just had her wank me off then I left awkwardly
Dongguan is known for having a big underground sex scene so the whole thing is already quite shady but yeah it was just a bit much for me
I remember feeling too guilty to eat that night

>>223933710
sounds more like americans

found out that the body prejudices female genes when times are tough because they're more essential to species continuation since the same guy can do more than one many times. so during plentiful times boys are slightly more likely to be born . so now in my head any time someone i know has a boy i think how it;s a negative effect of living in a consumerist unsustainable clown world etc and anyone someone i know has a girl i naturally assume it's because they're a bad mum who was starving or smoking during pregnancy or something

>>223933738
reading these out in a posh voice like they used to do on the news

>>223933731
I watched NFL for a bit while I was at uni because my sleep schedule was totally fucked.
I don't miss watching it at all.

the bluetooth dewice is reedy to pair

>>223933776
I liked how that chap occasionally sounded surprised

>>223933734
leave it on reddit next time

>>223933785
It's device actually

just grew up and gained a clue
think i'll rape my own arse now

>>223933710
>>223933765
sounds like [country i dont like] because of [confirmation bias]

>>223933698
No I did not. We were meeting because we were planning a 15 year school theatre club reunion thing. I guess she brought the daughter to show her off because she had her at 15 and I knew her as a baby basically

>>223933774
just means mum is a stress head

2 people have died of exploding diarrhoea in Michigan

sir far right

some really, really unfunny spastics in this thread today that you just know have been sat here in the dark with the curtains closed posting on here since the morning.

>>223933852
rest in pooces

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>>223933845

>>223933852
did the guy with the diarrhoea survive?

>>223933850
well how that manifests in women is usually anorexia or cigarettes so we said the same thing

Surely there's a few of you that would be into our Rugby League
Really the only show in town for what is still a global code

>>223933870
i don't have curtains actually

>>223933882
boo hoo

ukraine's independence is worth it, even if we have to fund the draft units until the last ukrainian is dead

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perhaps the boldest lie was that this buck had 2 kids

sweet as a sugar plum fairy

>>223933904
Do you know what the word Ukraine means?

>>223933890
fair enough, probably more likely to be stress eating while pregnant though imho

>>223933913
this whole story is giving me deja vu. feels very 2017

They way they go on you'd think it was called Mekraine not Youkraine

Tanning lad here. At the park catching some rays rn.

my whole algorithm on youtube now is just american bodycam videos

TEEN MOM MURDERS WHOLE FAMILY - REGRETS IT

BRING BACK CEEFAX
BRING BACK WHITE DOGSHIT
BRING BACK SMOKING FAGS IN PUBS
ARGHHHHH!!!!

>>223933882
you are braindead if you link the swede's original post to the consequences of sanctions

Has anyone heard from Employed Woman today? She hasn't joined in the morning de lads team meeting on the SSM discord

>>223933922
maybe that explains why girls are getting chunkier

>>223933919
freedom, justice, democracy, stability, equal rights

me I use mullvad browser with anonymised letterboxed browsing and purge my identity and change the VPN once an hour and don't have a youtube account

Did I ever tell you about the time I faked my own death and went to a gay sauna to join a no loads refused party

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Mum's made a lasagne lads

>>223933971
why’s that then

a man killed himself. not really funny is it

>>223934006
Please tell us

>>223934005
:/

>>223934014
needs more carbs mate

Reckon someone else killed him and he's just taking credit for it

>>223934054
s

>>223934027
depends was he wearing clown makeup

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>>223934054

>>223933952
It were the SSRIs officer

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This is what Mousey's like in every thread as he bellows that he hates attention

>>223934020
because sanctions dont happen solely when someone sees a better country and "needs" to destroy it?

>>223934054
fucking screaming

>>223934054
you stole that from sickipedia

>>223934082
yeah it is a bit like him

Mousecord rallying around a joke which has already been made many many times in the past 24 hours

>>223934054
mocking the dead? funny.

>>223934088
they’re imposed to rape a country into dust because america doesn’t like it. the ‘better’ part is irrelevant

>>223934082
grow up

Unexpected Nigger In Bagging Area

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what to have
hmm

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>>223934150

>>223934082
>wahh I hate attention *swears shite all over the walls*
LOL that's our Tobes

ah yes the mousecord
and mousey
and heathermong as well! yeah wow
*turns to doctor*
he's not going to make is he?

parasitecord on a madone

no-one mentioned heathermong Heathermong

leftypol playing as a female
rorke playing as a non-human male character

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>>223934014
grow up

Spare me your maudlin platitudes. Arday was a worthless know-nothing who was allowed to cosplay as an academic at the expense of his students because of his skin colour. People like him have been poisoning our education system for far too long.

>>223934152
>noodle kugel
>brisket
hmm wonder who's behind these delicacies

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20,000 times in 2026

>>223934138
yeh russia, iran, and north korea are sanctioned for no reason other than that we dont like them. sure
not even defending sanctions, i think they are there for equally retarded reasons but infantilizing every country against USA is bizarre

>>223934254
that poster is crazy

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but 23,000 times in by the whole of 2025

>>223934254
does this demoralise you by any chance, mouldie?

>>223934152
Tuesday Fondue Night
Imagine the alien guffs afterwards

any professional neet man in? Need advice on the dole

>>223934186
aren't we all

>>223934152
did they not have replicators on that one

first can of beeroid down the gullet

>>223934294
I get £1400 plus my rent paid for I never ask to be born

>>223934294
Ask away son

another news story learned from /brit/

>>223934254
>>223934282
Rorke is quintessentially /brit/ish

>>223934235
https://youtube.com/watch?v=sz7JGCj4Q5k

lets see if we can reach 30,000 by the end of 2026

>>223934261
>yeh russia, iran, and north korea are sanctioned for no reason other than that we dont like them
yeah basically
why else?

>>223934316
nah they had a chef

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pictured: mouse discreetly confirming that he does not want attention

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big bear on the hunt

America has been itching for a fight with China for 25 years now lets be honest

do gay incels exist

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can't believe I had this stupid fucking medieval swampspeak screaming at me five minutes before I got the legible version, neither of which I needed

>>223934405
do i know him? he's me

+1 to rorkes postcount

>>223934393
too bad thats a secondary priority to funding israeli shenanigans

you've never poo screamed in your life

>>223934392
poo seal

raping rorke