What do you guys think of my writing o algo
Omg it’s giving Pedro paramo you’re Juan Rulfo down
it's so-so. the first sentence throws you off a little, but the rest is decent
>>223989746What happened to the dog
>>223989944he got cancerThey're going to euthanize him, but first the owner will walk him back to where he found themHe'll get lost halfway through though, and will find himself in a ancient civilization with a strange ritual he must uncoverthat's the basic premise
>>223989746>o algo
>>223990565ou algooder so o qualcosa ou quelque chose
>>223989746Theres some redundant words and purple prose in the beginning, doesnt really introduce the story in an interesting way, the characters have pretty much the same syntax and sound too alike and I dont really detect an authourial voice or style it just seems like plot Id keep at it , if you want to make a story that has a low level of narration and is mainly character driven you really need to make the characters distinct in the way they interact with each other and as written. A lot of times authors have issues writing characters that dont sound like the way they would speak. People have an idiolect when they communicate which needs to be kept in mind. I'd suggest reading some Huckleberry Finn , Twain does a reallt good job of writing in colloquial grammar and giving characters unique ways of communicating their character through the way their dialogue is delivered alone
>>223990697That's a solid advice thank you
writing is faustian
>>223989746O meh gerd it's just like my ebin Rushdie Marquéz Borges Paramo with le heckin mysterious dog and veterinarian and wow is that a needlessly detailed description of the vet's fucking stethoscope>>223989770TrukeBut srsly, the dialogue reads super stilted
>>223989746>whining, yelping, crying, and writhingToo many words, cut it down to yelping and writhing
Also please write in Brazilian Portuguese I.e. the language you are actually best at. Good mature writing strays away from dialogue and builds beautiful descriptions of the world around the characters and within their souls It's hard to do that with a 2nd or 3rd language
>>223989746Terrible>>223990472Isnt that just the plot of lost in vivo
>>223989746I think you want to write a screenplay, not a novel. Too many back and forth dialogue.
>>223989746I like this anon's writing better.
Not reading that shit, justify the text first, that looks disgusting
