petrol station edition
hi
>>225342210need cane sugar race ambiguous gf
>>225342240no you don't
I have never wanted to be alive
Hello.
>>225342266fuck off ian
>>225342266hi ian
i nearly died of willy failure after having too much sex
>>225342266Hello. How are you?
>>225342280Good evening.>>225342283Fine, thank you.
>>225342300shut the fuck up ian
fuck cars
>>225342312Have I done something to anger you?
>>225342304hmm wonder why it's safer and cleaner
>>225342234>>225342266
>>225342326I will end your life as easily as I can extinguish a candle, and before your corpse is cold, I will reach out and grasp your soul. You will be my slave for all eternity, and I shall laugh at the depths of your pain
>>225342322they used to put effort into making things look nice
no one who complains about the replacement of sodium vapour lamps ever complains about flat LED lighting at petrol stations
gay english bloke who used to cut my hair has gone so i havent had a haircut in 6 months because im too scared to find a new person to do itand i dont want a foreign doing it
>>225342304when she says she misses the 'diversity' she means black people; people like her.vienna is very diverse, about half the population has a migration background
watching sopranos and just constantly being slapped in the face by how fast technology is advancing. they're still using beepers in the early 2000s and here we are like 25 years later with AI writing entire porn games full of the most degenerate images you'll ever see, also produced by AI, all done from the palm of our hand.
>>225342304lmao
only gone and put red diesel in the car and now the engine is fucked
>>225342356Used to enjoy Warhammer but that was before I met the wife. Have little time for it now, mainly tending the garden nowadays instead.
>>225342266hi ian hows the weight
>>225342397did you turn the engine on before realising?
Went for a smelly incel walk whilst the rain lightly came down. Lovely stuff
>>225342368Gays make the best barbers. Mine is a gay bloke in his late 40s
womens arses are too big now. It's rubbish.Waddling around like hippos. Nowt sexy about it at all.
>>225342368i'm far right but i go to a moroccan place
>>225342407went to the doctor the other day and he says how's the weight going and i said not good doc it must've been about 2 hours before i got in here haha
>>225342407Ample.
>>225342369wonder when people will realise that immigrants basically only like their ownblack people arent going hmm this area is nice but it could use some whites or chinks like white people do in white areas
>>225342376not really that different. people used to sit about strip clubs and on the street looking vacant now they do it on their phones. technology is a nothingburger
shouldnt evaporated milk be gone?
Ian says hello and gets tons of yous but the poor chap previously also said hi but no one responded apart from me
>>225342435
>>225342368get mine done by women at a male grooming salon or whatever they call them. they're all really nice and they put their boobies against me.
>>225342456we dont like him but we like ian
conjunctivitis.comthats a site for sore eyes
do you think putting things up my bum would give me a new lease on life?Kind of scared. I don't want to break anything up there.
I have a big day of gardening and fence painting tomorrow so I must take my leave and retire to my bed. Good evening.
>>225342503fuck you ian
>>225342489
>>225342474>male grooming salonis that what they call it nowadays
bloody freezing. might get the heating on
>>225342489im fitting a japanese bullet train up my arse to this post
was going through my family history and i was appalled to see a family member once owned slaves.my own brother, how could he
>>225342521yeah mate i just said that didnt i
A standing ovation for Mouse
>>225342549dont shout at me
Ian is 51 years old and lives in gillingham
Interesting episodes of EastEnders, Emmerdale and Corrie tonight. Ian Beale dealing with coming out of prison while this new guy Ned appears to be manipulating him. Sarah Sugden still a badass in Emmerdale. Gabby a poor love. Corrie was annoying until David Platt came through. Great lines from him tonight.God I adore being English
Once told the Norm MacDonald moth/doctor joke to a group of lads I didn't know at an afters coked off my face and I heard from mutual friends afterwards they all thought I was an absolute cunt
>>225342474once i was so lonely i gave the cute euro girl a ten pound tip cos just having a woman touch my head was like the best thing that happened to me in months LOL
Britain is a Francophile country; our language is a derivative of French, our middle class is obsessed with French culture, the aristocracy all speak French, our national motto is French, our culture sprang from war with France, etc. etc.America, however, is a Germanophile country. The first thing they did after declaring independence was revise the language, attempting to remove French influence to make the language seem more German (mostly by removing the letter U and changing some French-derived words to simpler alternatives)Their blatant Francophobia is displayed at all levels of their society, from their foreign policy (AUKUS) to their cuisine (French fries > freedom fries)
bit weird to think that the method of death penalty has changed for no other reason than how gruesome it is to the public.hanging, the electric chair and guillotine are a lot more humane than the lethal injection, but nobody likes so see someone twisting around, so instead we inject them with poison that makes you feel like your body is burning from the inside.
well and truly ogre ladsend of the day and the facts remain 2 and a half days on hinge3 likes by girls im not interested in0 matches with those i amit's over will be deleting the app soon
ok
>>225342593the polish bird that works in the one i go to gets excited when i come in haha. it also has a ftm tranny i think or just a lesbian it's hard to tell.
>>225342596i always saw america as romanphile, a lot of their cities are named after roman things after all.
>>225342596
>>225342621its a number game. get on the other apps too
load of boring posts just then
>>225342588no idea how that guy apparently made a career out of being a comedianwould even rank miranda hart above him
>>225342423where do you walk?
>>225342633>a lot of their cities are named after roman things after all.such as?
>>225342647filtered
>>225342621youre better off in real life mate. was just saying here the other day that i found myself on a date just by bumping into a bird in two shops in a row earlier this week.
>>225342635i like to move it move it
*falls down a well*
>>225342368I know how you feel. I got my haircut all throughout my childhood by a friend of my mums who did it in our kitchen. When I left home I couldn't face going into any barbers so grew it long like an old rocker.
>>225342588it's meant to be read reallythe whole point was that the doctor was funnier than norm
>>225342662>i found myself on a date just by bumping into a bird in two shops in a row earlier this week.yeh but not everyone is skilled enough to do this
>>225342640have been on bumble and tinder as well but for 36 hours,6 "likes" tinder 0 on bumbleso ogre
scr
>>225342694post your profile and photos here (doxxable info removed of course) and i'll identify what could be improved
>>225342662gone on the apps cos had no luck irl matecan sometimes get a shag at a nightclub but a relationship they always say no
>>225342657Connecticut and Cincinnati off the top of my head.
>>225342423Get a 20 quid cagoule of gooutdoors. Lightweight, mostly waterproof.
>>225342705the jaundicedem
/brit/ is genuinely filled with freaks and literal idiots
>>225342647so i was one of the three wise men right and before i went to meet everyone at the manger i had to go pick up the gold and the frankincense and the myrrh but i was about to have a heart attack after picking up the gold and frankincense so i goes to the doctor and i says to the doctor i says doc my heart's about to explode what can you do for me?he says what you need is miranda harthaha bit of a thinker that one
>>225342724only 1 of those is derived from ancient rome
>>225342734s
did anyone see that lad fall down a well just then
The scran
>>225342596didn't the u disappear because newspaper adverts charged by the letter o algo
mates with a lezza that's as good as it gets for me
>>225342682skilled enough to enter two shops?>>225342720nightclubs not for relationships mate. bars can be better for that stuff or just places where women are more generally. mate of mine got married to a bird he met at a speed dating event. you've always better odds offline than online.
>>225342571Dorset or Medway?
>>225342732got the montbell thunder pass jacket myself
>>225342760the fabled delicacies of the east
>>225342760Uk food without imigrantslikes: 5424742reposts: 42452
>>225342773>skilled enough to enter two shops?dont be facetious
>>225342760looks like the worms i used to shit out when my mum would give me a bleach enema
evening lads how's it going, just got home from toil
>>225342760good lorn elton's shat out his entire intestine and someone's boiled it
>>225342760corr love a bit of tripe me
>>225342801dem berg
>>225342718you can't exactly see the photos properly without me doxing myself matebut very grimwill be deleting the apps again immanently dunno why i fell for it at least in my 30s after avoiding them until now, guess i finally had enough of being incel>>225342773cant even pull girls at bars or pubs only at nightclubs lol i am a good dancer tbf
>>225342796if youre not "skilled enough" to talk a woman into a cafe in person then you're not "skilled enough" to talk one into anything through an app
on the toilet, doing a poo you see
>>225342821>you can't exactly see the photos properly without me doxing myself matejust hide the face. its the rest of the photo that matters more anyway
>>225342821none of the pubs you go to have people dancing?
hate British culture me. It's grim and grotty.Going to America and wearing a cowboy hat.
i don't have social skills
can't believe cunts are replying to the datingappmong gimmick
>>225342843haha how is that the case? i have close up of me in baranother standing in fancy clothesprofile taken pic casual at a baranother casual laughing with friends sat down>>225342845not really and the music is usually pish
Sir Chrono Trigger let's play
>>225342822i think you misunderstand my point and i cba to clarify 2bh
>>225342839bizarre lie
>>225342851>me to the other lads in /brit/ (not /cum/ as you'd probably prefer)
>>225342210Performative little monkey
>>225342872if your point isn't "talking to women in person is hard for some of us" then your point is pointless. if that is your point, then it applies to the apps too except even moreso because women are more fickle on the apps.
>>225342869add more activity focused photos in. sports, hiking, something cool abroad - shit like that. also chuck in a pet if you have any
>>225342857all of the pictures you post make me viscerally angry. I can't stand your tacky taste in women.
>>225342171what a lovely form of a woman, oh yes
>>225342811I wish I could remember the old film I watched from the 40s where a character was in the chippy and asked for>Black tripe and chips with lots of malt vinegar
don't have any photos of myself doing stuff so i can't go on hinge
>>225342857ugly girlnice eyes, but the rest of her face is very ugly
>>225342896get me a Dr Pepper from the cooler
>>225342839I'm not gonna lie I have done this too
>>225342861not a gimmick mate im an incel who tried and failed yet again>>225342903one of my photos is abroadi dont have activity focused photos i dont do hiking or sportsjust taking random pic but im on holiday seems mental too >>225342927is this why im cucked?
>>225342839something of a maverick are you
>>225342927do the old 'find pictures of good looking guys (no homo) and AI your face onto them' trick
>>225342857Women like #nofilter
>>225342694you only need 1 like for it all to work outmay as well keep the things installed and check once a day
low key don't think I feel that English cause me family was Irish gypsies.I pass though. No one has to know.
Just had a curry so nice it made me open borders
>>225342647You don’t understand. The joke is that there is no joke, and if there is one then the joke is that it’s bad. I watched a video essay with 200k views about this very topic, don’t you know?
>>225342927got pics of me in incredible places all around the world, but they would mean little to a womans tiny brain
>>225342656Round the neighbourhood>>225342732Got a waterproof thankfully>>225342779Wish I'd got some montbell clobber when I was in Japan
>>225342956>i dont have activity focused photos i dont do hiking or sportswell you should. women like an active man. no gym photos though - unless you're seeking a someone gym obsessed
fuck it, i'm going for an incel walk, i wonder if they sell dr pepper in my local supermarket.
>>225342896
>>225342987you mean you got diarrhea?
>>225342970sure in theory just a bit depressing when in london with millions of girls and like supposedly 6 of them like me lol
>>225342790s
>>225342973my mum is from ulster shes irish she has tainted my anglo saxon genes
>>225343001take pictures on the waypost them here
never had a poo in my life. fucking vile freak you lot are, it is literally SHIT, you should have nothing to do with it.
>>225342994>Wish I'd got some montbell clobber when I was in Japanits not that pricey here. cheaper than all the other big names like patagonia, rab, etc.
>>225343007millions of girls who haven't seen your profile yet
right need to prepare for toil dont iit looms...doesn't it?
>>225343000i am active like going to art galleries nightclubs dinner etcim not active if it means playing sport each week or going on hikes lol
>>225343007girls only look at dating apps on the weekend. wait until then at least
a girl went to a frat party because she liked one of the boys there and other boys shagged her and she only agreed because she was that drunk and giddy at finally hooking up with her crush (singular). that is NOT consent and it's NOT okay, rorke
>>225342927get a tripod and stage some candid photos
hate to break it to you but those 3 likes aren't even real
>>225343041thismen dont realise how little girls use these apps, they certainly aren't swiping like crazy every day
>>225343041not true is it lol>>225343053LOL i messaged one and she instantly unmatched me so you're probably right
>>225343037is that you diego?
dating apps are shopping apps for women just like asos vinted etc
>>225343030mate it's friday wake up at 9:30, check your teams messages, doss about on your phone for 90 mins before taking a long lunch, check back in at 2 and if you've not got any new emails log off
>>225342987descendant of Reasonable Blackman returns to the motherland
>>225343068homealone? no.
women don't even consider 95% of men as humans
i went through loads of failed first dates before meeting my gfberg. just gotta keep at it and not get demoralised
went to the doctor and he told me my weight is "concerning" and wants me to get under 200 poundsi told him the only way id lose 100 pounds is at a British casino
>>225343109not getting dates tho am i mate that's the problem
dating apps are for the desperate on both sides, it's quite pathetic reallylebensgoy
>>225342435scream>>225343126NOT funny
>>225343072i genuinely dislike modern women.The riches they have access to have made them absolutely insufferable.Like an awful fat child in a Roald Dahl novel, that's about to get pecked to death by birds or something.
38yo and never been on a date
>>225343140not sure what to suggest then. you're poking holes in everyones advice
>>225342987Tucked his tshirt into his underwear. How embarrassing
accidentally wasted my life
33 years old and been married 3 times award
>>225343022Decent exchange rate at the moment though innit
>>225343164how
Fuck sake you're all miserable pricks tonightDo something funny
>>225343165i'm not mate im just not gona post my face hereand i'm not some "active" guy playing tennis twice a week so a fake photo of that isnt gona help
>>225343185
>>225343200*does an irish nig in front of you*
>>225343200TELL WOMEN TO STOP DOING IT
>>225343200I'm depressed.
Find girls on X.com. Surely better than dating apps with fakes and fraudsters
>>225343208you dont need to post your face. but a look the photos would help.
>What i meant by black labradors, cricket greens and warm beer being fake and a far right dream was um something else
>>225343042>frat partyfoy
>>225343229reckon about 90% of this general is you mopey prickthe rest of us are at least trying to have a laughwah i'm the only depressed man in the world
i encountered a lot of scammers on hinge pretending to be cute asian birds. theyd match with you, get a conversation going, then try to persuade you to deposit money on a dodgy crypto site
>>225343239scr
LOVEa chubby girl with a cute face
wonder if there are any girls here
>>225343142poo screaming
>>225343231i told you what they look like mate me outside like on a date on a tablestanding at a pub orderingat a consertoutside with friends lounging aroundetc
>>225343264good post
>>225343253Don't make light of my depression.
losing me marbles
>>225343264LOW self esteem doesn't think he's worthy of a normal sized girl
>>225343292means nothing without seeing them. but fine dont post them, its all good
i am genuinely completely mental
thoughts on james acaster, ed gamble, rob beckett and romesh ranganathan and all that lot?
>>225343274DO NOT REDEEM THE MARBLES
>>225343314yeah sorry i'm not gona do that appreciate your concern tho
*enters the thread*
come mr tally man and tally my fucking banana
>>225343239>Chatgpt? It's just possible you could save my life
>>225343353having good prompts is important too
wrc coming to scotland next yearmight go
me: I love yougf: is that you or the gay porn talkingme: its me...talking to my gay porn
f-f-f-f-freestyla
>>225343357I did that holding-head thing as wellfunny how alike we all areeven monkeys do that :)
>>225343277probably but talking to each other about us somewhere else
>>225343321realised how mental ive become after covidnot surprising given that ive completley isolated myselfgot no mates or anything
Lucia from GTA VI sitting on my face and doing spicy Latina braps.
>>225343369think i do they're more vibe based ones than anything cringe like "my simple pleasure is eating a doughnut"
>>225343382is that hte lass from outnumbered
daylight come and me wan go home
>>225343404what are they?
>>225343382waka maka status?
>>225343396coomer game
>>225343423no this is
Straight from the top of my dome
>>225343428it's too DOX!it's shit like about dancing on tables and stuff like that
>>225343453daaaamn girrrrrrl
>>225343466shriek
everyone forgot about ukraine because of Palestine even though it's WAY more important
>>225343434you like music dont you? give these a listenhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yLNNHaN0gUhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhBDE_WKYpYhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QyOXPJ9OIMhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgIu2xcIJ6w
>>225343423and this is
>>225343466where do jeets get their confidence
>>225343453>>225343481didnt arsked
>>225343466>>225343467
LATINA BOOTY!!
>>225343521ye i loled too after i saw what was post before
jumping out windoe if people dont start being nice to me right now
>>225343053cope. i get tons of likes
yeeuh
>>225343588don't talk shit
>>225343540
>>225343571uh huh
https://youtu.be/27Uyv17DvCQ?si=euXcP8zzZONg2sRz
had one of those days where i felt abnormally social and every interaction was in flow state, wish they happened more often than twice a year
>>225343466>>225343467kekk
indian man on youtube said AI will kill us all in 1 year
>>225343480I liked the first two tracks Bill McClinton is probably one of my favorite channels. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pm08v69vG10
Jupiter's Great Red Spot has shrank by 45% since 1979
get it read 'fore all hallows' eve
de BOMB BLAST
>>225343636
>>225343669probably AI himself. Watch John Kirkwood instead and learn how to make pies
>>225343708>>225343715bradleycord raid
>>225343739
>>225343636Funny but a shit selection /brit/ posts, not the best at all
sir squid games
>>225343636funny
sir nathan cofnas
how about it's Squirt Games and I make the girls squirt, the ones that dont squirt get killed.>inb4 they all die :(
>>2253436364 of these were my posts and they were all posted today and none of them were funny
>>225343636feels like this kind of tts videos were everywhere about 10 years ago and now people just don’t make them anymore. guess zoomers don’t like them
sir jason arday vc
>>225343827nah they still exist on tiktok but they dont have the same cringy youtube poop fornat
Top 5 bombaclat
>>225343812
top 5 times bradley walsh poo nigger scream roar in the contestant's face
need to wank, nothing good going
>>225343860
sir bruce foreskin
>>225343636literally NONE of my posts made the cutFUCK YOUi really do hope you suffer quite the malady
>watching tv (sue me)>freeview >switch ot channel 91>the safari channel>it's just a live feed of some elephants and rhinos in kenya with some african man narrarating about the elephants and rhinos and their behaviourfascinating stuff
>>225343636s
>>225343881roar
>>225343905hi sue
>>225343905classic sue post
>>225343905me chris hi sue
time for another couple of fingers of whisky
mad how shagging your mother is revolting but shagging your auntie is corr spaff
>>225343942it not corr spaffit incest
>>225343942
>>225343949wincest
>>225343258kino filmwatch 'the kill list' if u liked this one :)
>>225342210Perhaps it would be wise to stop gnawing on sugar cane while walking down the street.
wonder how many famous people are secretly racisti reckon robert pattinson is
>>225343975dont tell me what to fucking do
>>225343881
>>225343274why is the play station button guy killing him
>>225343975its actually just 'kill list'
>>225343987of course he is
>>225343987hitler probably
>>225344034ROARING
>>225342171grown out of /brit/ im afraid, used to be on here 24/7 now its like an hour a day tops
I have actually gone madSat here giggling to meself, thinking about memes from 20 years ago
>>225344039wasn't funny
>>225344043a clue gained>>225344049a clue lost
Hitler was a lib
hitler had one testicle and three dicks
my life a gay nigger poo
this close to leaving /brit/ and never coming backmy wit and charm will be sorely missed
>>225344041dum dum, you give me gum gum
boards.4chan.org/int/thread/225342171#p225342171
>>225343987He's a known oil driller
>>225342179>>225342179>>225342179
>>225344041bizarre image
>>225342171If any of yous find urselfs in Bradford make sure to come to frangoz on Leeds road. Absolutely banging food. Just wanting to promote my cuzzys business, also posting on Reddit.
>>225342322It's not about cars. You're misguided
>>225342376They're called pagers, you cunt
>>225342435Should've said is not going kek
>>225342450The devil makes work for idle hands, I've seen some wild and some unbelievably funny stuff happen on the street. Not any kre though, people don't mingle to even give the opportunity to uncanny shenanigans
>>225342630Tell him you can get 50% discount on durex if he's interested and when you get the answer. RUSSLED
