>>225636264
when I was in the mental hospital there was much talk between the schizophrenics about hacking. It was a real area of common ground between them. You'd see 60 year old women and 19 year old lads talking at length about their facebook accounts being hacked.

if dolphins are so smart why do they live underwater when they need air to breathe

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Screaming at the commitment of whoever started posting that Tim had an album online.

>>225636330
If you preorder it you can download it a week before it releases

i am, you are, we are australian

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the lads

6 Months of straight rain now i guess

dominos Two-for-Tuesday but I don't want two pizzas I just want one pizza and even that's a lot. Maybe I could just put the other one in the fridge and eat it tomorrow

10 minutes of playing games on the cards
maybe 15 if i'm lucky

remember how devastating it was as a kid when you got told to 'stop showing off' in front of your friends
takes the wind right out of your sails

>>225636412
slop

>>225636391
why did giving birth for humans used to have a 20% mortality rate before modern medicine?

saw a black woman walk past with dreadlocks way down past her arse. something is changing inside of me

gemma collins seems like a nice lady

/brit/ is a crucible for forging many more Tim Byrnes

Wish I was still a young buck so I could play the new grand theft auto, unfortunately I am unc so I must act accordingly

>>225636424
the adult equivalent is being in shape while everyone else is a slob. You have to pretend you don't know that you're in shape. Even then, your physique speaking for itself causes people to foam with rage.

might peruse ebaumsworld

hi

finally some decent weather for a change

All those fat slags talking about plus size is beauriful certaintly started singing a different tune when ozempic came out

Body positivity for fatties is a crock of shit

>>225636435
our heads evolved to accommodate intelligence quicker than our hips after standing upright

>>225636455
most of us won't be rich enough to afford his high level of care

>>225636452
did you know most black women shave their heads and wear wigs?

sitting here with my pants down got my pants down up in this shit

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>>225636482
>certaintly

>>225636480
it’s waining

>>225636455
can honestly see myself becoming a Tim-like character once my parents pass away. I've go no pals or human connections of any kind besides immediate relatives. Even though I'm not that close to these relatives I think the fact that they exist as a potential outlet for my thoughts and feelings goes a long way toward staving off the descent into schizophrenia

once it truly becomes just you and your thoughts, for the rest of time, it seems like dark days

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>>225636488

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>>225636408
Lovely weather for ducks

>>225636488
shit I forgot about that. why do they do that

>>225636435
because our huge brains were too big for women’s vaginas
we all gaped a woman with our massive intellect before we could even talk

>>225636468
Stop showing off

>>225636519
their natural hair is too curly to do much with other than grow an afro

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>>225636435
men arrived and saved women and theyre still ungrateful

What's your favourite short form video content?

>>225636482
Women act like they're all for something and you're a horrible evil person if you aren't and then will swap off it at the drop of a hat

the mooest the dengist the pooist the pengist

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Listening to the chameleons

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtbBdzQ9618
this negress is cute enough that i'm almost inclined to take the black pussy pill

what's the oldest someone can be a virgin without you thinking "wow he must be complete freak"?

>>225636535
giwicshuta

>>225636503
better than it being 40c and all the grass and other flora dying

she peaked in philosophers stone

Absolutely despise poor media literacy.

>>225636509
theres a farmers field near me with this big ole crater right on the center edge, must be awkward for the farmer to get around it but he's left it in there for several years and it turns into a fucking massive duck gathering when it fills up by spring

>>225636537
women want to gatekeep sexism

>>225636553
23 maybe

dont know how people are fat. seen maybe one actually thin girl this year. 'thin' girls in the uk are chubby everywhere else

>>225636553
4

>>225636553
21 at the most. 20 year old virgins are looked down on but 21 is the theoretical limit.

Bought something expensive. It's faulty, but it's a subtle fault. The alignment is off and for it to be used it would be extending against it's natural range meaning it'll wear components far quicker. Supplier does not seem to give a fuck and is trying to ignore the issue. I guess to them it'll work, which it will, but it will also break prematurely in the future. Not sure why big companies try this on. They also beg for reviews as soon as you make the purchase which obviously people should not do for this exact reason.

in 200 years time when we have contact with aliens it will be blue pussy that changes Rorke

>>225636504
As someone who spent a period of time as a semi-recluse, with just my thoughts, it is fucking grim. I went to the loony bin because of it. It's fucking tough slogging it out day by day at first, but you'll find social connections that fill that hole in your heart.

I imagine all the Australians as tanned lean sexy surfers with blonde slicked back hair

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sir rosenior is a clever man. despite being rather rich and perfectly capable of spending money wherever he likes, he refuses to be fleeced by a tourist trap charging extortionate prices for croissants. instead, he wanders down to a small, family owned bakery in paris, where he buys a fresh batch of croissants at a fair price. he knows there is no sense paying inflated tourist prices for something that a local baker can make with far greater care.

sir rosenior leaves with a bag full of delicious croissants and plenty of change still in his pocket, proving that being wealthy does not mean being wasteful and that a bit of common sense neoliberalism goes a very long way indeed :)

just love looking at porn and having wanks and spaffing

>>225636551
she will give you chad kids

such a weirdo isnt he

>>225636595
>>225636568

>>225636582
i'm a pale ghoul with black hair, i look like an unemployed professor snape

>>225636567
>how people are fat. seen maybe one actually thin girl this year
Yh your nan because you never leave your house

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>>225636536
I don't have tiktok but sometimes I'll watch short videos on youtube where it's just a person's cat in a room curled up in a ball then suddenly it makes a small noise like "mirp" and that's the whole video

in terms of the short form videos that I see posted here I'd have to say I enjoy the ones of nubile adult women dancing around, undulating and gyrating sexually, I get a lot out of those

>>225636553
22

>>225636593
miscegenation is a crime against nature, mixed race people are all completely deranged

>>225636565
>>225636571
>>225636612
what about for women

>>225636590
saar

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Poor Timothy is single :(

>>225636607
´ce

>>225636631
women aren't virgins

>>225636634
maybe the MOD did some glowie shit on his brain with lasers

>>225636634
bloody hell he worked at the MoD, didn't know that. they must have blasted him with the schizo mind virus

>>225636623
Vpn off, Cody Jaquan Hernandez Jr.

>>225636634
The MoD wiped are Tim's mind after the disastrous ''Poogong Incident''.

at least once you pass the socially acceptable virgin age its not like it gets any worse being one at 28 is hardly much better than being one at 32

>>225636551
I'm a nice guy :)

>>225636642
my sister is a 22yo neet virgin

>>225636678
She's not a virgin mate

some day I'll summon the balls to go to a prozzie

>>225636678
cor where does your sister live

>>225636634
MoD gone to the dogs since Tim left

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Ah fuck I wear the same glasses

>>225636692
they are excellent glasses really

>>225636698
ok

>>225636678
Is she smelly?

>>225636678
ever shag her up the arse?

>>225636685
she is because she has no friends and doesnt go out the house without someone with her

>>225636704
Tim reckons they are as well

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>>225636536
asian women

the new migrate when ready
>>225625467

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fxv7CJfqyd8

Just want to remind everyone referencing or implying incest is illegal

>>225636561
Yeah yeah whatever, that one anon with his imaginary brown cows, you with your imaginary ducks. Not buying a word of it

>>225636553
32

Harry Enfield, did some funny sketches

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1400 a month, straight into the pocket of whichever nigerian runs that carebame prison Tim lives in

>>225636740
oh nee iemand poopensharten op de cuckthread

>>225636718
for me its saturday

>>225636758
sc

feel like im wasting my life but dont know what i should be doing instead

spent £200 on pokemon cards award

took the virginity of a girl who was 26 at the time, she was a bit retarded so that's probably why she was virge

Jealous of brits who can just fuck off to Amsterdam for a weekend if they want to at any time. Closest thing here is fucking Bali

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ljkUvvS6oU

Mad how Deanos would see collecting Pokemon cards as embarrassing but because their influencer God says it's cool they're all over them

>>225636806
get yourself down to poowong

>>225636806
why would you want to go somewhere where you'll be surrounded by dutch people (and darkies from the way i hear it)

>>225636804
Bit of an abuse of your power as a support worker was it?

look shit in all clothes me

>>225636827
It's more expensive to go to Poowong than Bali :(

>>225636831
I like Dutchies :)

>>225636834
no i met her on tinder actually. she liked to do spooning and farted into my crotch a few times

>>225636822
it's not that they're cool necessarily it's that there's a speculative market around buying and selling shiny pokemon cards

people are making a lot of money buying sealed product, storing it away for 4-5 years then selling it on the secondary market to affluent soymales

>>225636847
Onya

>>225636838
no you don't x

What would you cunts do if you woke up tomorrow and you were back in your year 7 maths class in your 12 year old body

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1diLRI_py7A

quite like it when a woman has a dark meaty arsehole.

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this will NEVER be my POV

>>225636875
nothing

can't believe people just admit to being gay these days and make it a primary characteristic of their identity
when someone announces that they're gay, what i hear is "i like to put my penis where poo comes from". how do people not recoil in disgust?

we /brit/ lads should get on onlyfans, imagine a group of husky men with tiny todgers wow!

>>225636875
probably maths

>>225636909
I'm an unfit man with a large todger

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chat is this true?

>>225636875
suppose it depends whether we keep our adult brains and memories of the future or whether we just get rewound in time

if we have our memories then yeah I'd be putting plans in place to ensure I become a mega millionaire, investing in BTC etc. If we don't have our memories then presumably I'd just go to school and make all the same mistakes I did back then

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Wasting your life are you?

Bought a replacement door seal for my fridge but I've been sent the seal for the freezer instead and I don't know if this is their fault or my fault. I expect it's mine and I've just wasted the money on a useless piece of rubber.

>>225636909
was just thinking about this the other day, should be called "onlylads"

i ask chat everything, im a chat boy

they've only gone and sent me a bloody poo seal instead of a replacement door seal it's a useless piece of blubber

>>225636926
Me and Ian do this but say hello

>>225636929
yes
drugs have just arrived today wahey

>>225636875
make a copypasta on /b/ about how I woke up in my year 7 maths class then opened the door, got on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur

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>>225636966

>>225636929
yes
I've wanked twice and ate two bowls of ice cream

>>225636966
s

what kind of goth music do goth girls like?
i assume most of them know nothing about 70s-80s post punk (except for probably owning an unknown pleasures t-shirt) and mainly listen to the same old negroidal mumbling that all normies listen to these days

>>225636980
enjoyed this post

>>225636928
This is the only answer. Pointless going back and having to struggle again. If you have your memories then it's easy mode, unless you get caught by the timecops for anachronistic behaviour

>>225636966
i'm afraid i don't understand the reference dee lad

>>225636959
omdzzz

Imagine if the entire country was like us

sometimes i feel sexy and attractive
today is not one of those days

>>225636969
always more of an r9k gimmick that, back before it became the incel board

>>225636980
post this on /r/greentexts
>brit anon gets the wrong fridge

>>225636875
would be confused as to why math is written plural

>>225637012
*WERE like us
Hypothetical. Subjunctive mood

>>225636959
you will get the poo seal "nigga" ok!

>>225637020
Give your bum a rub

>>225637023
/r9k/ was always an incel board

>>225637026
not green is it you fucking spastic retard

>>225637032
s

>>225637012
we're just ahead of the curve
i always see normies saying stuff like i never go out i just watch videos and argue online
it's like welcome to my life nigga i've been doing that for the last 20 years

>>225637050
reddit.com/r/greentects

>>225637044
it wasn't, I migrated there the day it was created and was just /b/ with enforced originality. Some very good memes were formed there in the early days. It wasn't until wojak was created that it became feels board then incel board and turned into whatever the fuck it is these days

>>225637050
when someone asks me the colour of homer simpson and i get it wrong

which boards do you think have the highest proportion of shaggers?

lesbians also do this really funny thing where they order food from a takeaway and eat a bit too much haha

and nothing lasts forever, in the cold November rain!

Last day of my twenties today

god women are so fucking boring no idea how people marry them

>>225637095
/lgbt/ by a distance

just been gangblacked by my jamaican nan and her shower posse at the afro carib old peoples home

>>225637095
/mlp/ and /vt/

loool can tell my step dad hates me he acts so different when my mums not home

>>225637050
my dad when I try to show off my perpetual energy solution (I'm pointing a torch at a solar panel)

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>>225636576
This already happened to me

was delivering pizzas once and as i was handing the 'za to the customer i said "here you go man" because i wasn't really paying much attention to their appearance, it was only after i said that that it was a woman with a shaved head. hopefully she was a ftm tranny or something and i'd just accidentally validated her identity

>>225637116
imagine someone showing your mother these posts

>>225637095
/b/ because it's a normie board to the absolute maximum
or /fit/

>>225637119
>casually admitting to being a literal child from a broken home
bring back shame, I say

>>225637101
that's a special kind of loom incoming. Time to consider getting a clue

>>225637131
consider me changed too! wowee!

>>225637147
/fit/ is probably one of the most incel boards there is

>>225637149
Fuck off tarq

>>225637150
Working on it

>>225637149
its a vile person who holds something again someone beyond their control
you should be ashamed of being such a nasty bigot

>>225637150
me when I'm a Victorian woman going to the annual textiles expo

>>225637095
/po/

Most frustrating part of this illness is the amount of failed sneezes. Keep getting the urge to sneeze and losing it before satisfaction. I can't be doing with it I just can't.

>>225637174
what you share with others is not beyond your control

dadberg spent hours trying to figure out an issue with his computer so he asked me for help, and i didn't know what the problem was either so i just googled it and found the solution within seconds. does it really just not occur to boomers that they can look stuff up if they need to? many such cases

[B]up [B]odie

>>225637160
nah
lot of gay posters and homos shag eachother

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>>225637178

>>225637196
*tickles your nose with a feather*

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>>225637178
Rather good this

>>225637196
alright Mick Jagger

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Get the neoliberal look

>>225637197
What's there to be ashamed of?

youtube.com/watch?v=uo14xGYwWd4

>>225637223
Evil evil ghouls

>>225637204
What was the problem?

>>225637209
for the sake of fairness i'm going to say bender shagging doesn't count because it's too easy given how promiscuous benders are

>>225637223
Are these the reptiles above the Jews on that pyramid of who controls the world

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>>225637219

>>225637241
can't remember, something to do with wifi

>>225637229
not being able to read back more than two posts, for one

video game idea: Coom, like doom but instead of a shotgun its a willy and you go around cumming on demons (women)

how do i begome chad?

>>225637254
you wouldn't be allowed that these days, an animated sneezing cat, due to the woke yeah due to the woke that's right

these days it would need to be a black child in a wheelchair or something, due to the woke

>>225637266
Concession accepted

>>225637267
i'm 100% sure a doom mod like that already exists

best gimmick of 2026?

back in the day you'd come home from working the fields and your wife would have dinner ready for you and then she'd sit there mending your clothes

>>225637280
tom was british and jerry was german

>>225637280
the kid would sneeze making the chair roll and the bbc would say a black kid just invented the internal combustion engine

No. Lion King is NOT based on Hamlet.
I don't care how many downvotes on Reddit I have for pointing this out. It's the truth.

Looking at topographic maps

>>225637328
Only someone who's never seen or read Hamlet says that. Basically nothing alike.

indulged too much in the poppy extracts and now my fingerbergs lack the dexterity to roll a ciggy

>>225637338
>No anon they're basically one to one plagiarism
Except for the plot, the themes and the characters, then still no.

>>225637317
okposting is storming ahead in the leaderboard ok

my favourite disney film? why its the Great Mouse Detective. none of that foreign lion king muck

>>225637331
I said how's the quality of that topographic map my good man and he said well it's a bit up and down, all over the place really.

pigeon just hit my bedroom window

Would be cool to memorise Hamlet's to be, or not to be soliloquy

awesome just been raped at the petrol station again

>>225637375
bizarre lie

Barcleys is way to cheap I will but shares

>>225637375
get it plucked and in the oven

Having two orders of fried king prawns, a large portion of foie grass, four shots of rum, two pina coladas, and 2 beers for supper me

>>225637390
no, don't!

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oh my fucking god
LADS!!!!!!

>>225637389
are you literally 12 or 13 years old? i know its supposed to be ironic but i honestly cant fathom men into their 20's sitting at a computer, typing this shit, posting it, having a chucle to themselves. it gives me the fear to be honest.

>>225637390
hope you choke

>>225637379
Learned Macbeth's "Is this a dagger I see before me?" soliloquy in year 6. Can still bang it out now.

>>225637411
shut up fat

>>225637413
Bit fucking rude
What if i did choke and die?
Bet you wouldn't feel too good about yourself afterwards

dont see so many mole hills these days

got a turkish mate who says he's never eaten bacon before because turkey is a rasheed country. imagine being such a 'sheed that something as ordinary as bacon is an exotic thing to you, despite not even being an observant muslim yourself, couldn't be me

>>225637419
is this a shagger I see before me?

>>225637407
Remember when being right wing meant you were against this sort of faggotry.

>>225637425
Reckon you'll have cardiac arrest tbqhwy

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s

>>225637425
i'd be well jealous

>>225637372
Haha every cartographers career has its peaks and valleys!

walked down the stairs just now

>>225637453
pscr

>>225637447
who is that some old racist?

>>225637453
*blows you in half with a civil war era cannon*

>every non-photographic depiction of black people is called a racist caricature
>every word used to describe black people eventually becomes a slur
why is this? it's a strange phenomenon

Not a fan of streaky bacon me

which female video game protagonist is the sexiest?

Fattie fattie haha you're a big ball of lard fattie

>>225637474
ms. pacman

>>225637474
Aloy (First game only)

>>225637407
You can just go on the internet and post some bullshit you've made up and fool thousands of mindraped boomers

Ricky Gervais new cat show offended the fuck out of me!

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>>225637474
It not up for debate x

>>225637419
Based. You should go to a pub alone, sit in the corner all night without a word, recite Macbeth at a quiet, opportune time, then leave

>>225637433
middle eastern people are weird about pork because pigs can only survive on scraps and actual shit in that environment

>>225637497
not a protagonist though are she

>>225637474
https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1792316505172107.mp4

Just hopped over to /x/ to try and make sense of this reptilian thing but the results were inconclusive

>>225637474
duke nukem who ive retconned in my mind to be a powerful amazonian trans woman

>>225637495
oo triggered are we?

>>225637512
Can you please explain the appeal of cum tributes?

>>225637507
they will eat fish from drainage ditches filled with raw sewerage they aren't that picky

honestly might just start an X account and post blatant outright lies just to see how far it can go

Hello

>>225637554
See how long before the daily mail starts citing you in a story

>>225637530
Yes I'm fucking triggered it needs to be banned!

once spaffed on a picture of a girl i met on the internet and showed her the picture with my spaff on it and she seemed quite flattered by it

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Started watching Hardy Bucks. It's good craic like

Hearing from sources that the government is making it mandatory for all white british men to have their penises looked at for cleanliness
Will you submit to a cock check?

heavy is the head that wears the crown

foids have this protocol where they'll say "check me" to get a fellow foid to take a look at them from behind to see if there's any period blood seeping the back of their pants. women are abominations really

>>225637550
it's a generational cultural thing not a logical one

wouldnt mind trying ecstasy again some day
bit unfair how youre allowed to do it when youre young but then you reach a certain age and its just not on anymore

>>225637618
I've never missed the annual penis inspection day, not sure why I'd start now

>>225637643
time to graduate to opioids like a big boy

>>225637643
i tried it in the worst possible scenario (first class in school) and i regret it to this day
imagine losing your virginity to a fat prostitute. thats what it felt like

>>225637643
very dodgy unless you're lab testing it

>>225637643
Not strictly true, I'm mid 30s and still do it once or twice a year at clubs. Weird and largely pointless to do it anywhere else really and the comedown obviously has a worse effect the older you get so should be saved for special occasions

>>225636367
I haven't talked to my half brother in a month I feel bad he was watching an old anime I talked about and said we could be like Simon and kamina or that I could bring him on one of them my trips but I was in a bad mood so said we aren't real brothers. I am not sure I could apogolize

don't understand the malfoid thing. them niggas acting like he's the first ever character to be gender swapped

>>225637586
don't post this he doesn't like it

>>225637494
Churchill ever heard of him

>>225637694
the dog?

wish fentanyl killed more druggies

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>>225637694
oh yes

>>225637680
Do they still let you in clubs

was about to vent there but nah.

>>225637732
gp

bummed a bum

>>225637749
mfs in 2020

i'ven't a single friend