femcels edition
The 19yo is still texting me but she's getting on my nerves a bitRefers to British people as 'you' even though she was born and grew up here and she's white
saw a bloke probs about 40 with clearly massive mental issues/learning difficulties etc trying to pay with his phone in a shop but he couldn't work it out and his very very old mum came and helped him. she was clearly his carer and it made me sad cos she'll die soon and then what will the poor daft lad do
Now that the garbage is in space, doctor, perhaps you can help me with my sexual inhibitions
>>226076365Don't worry he's getting wanked by a BAME nurse
>>226076365care BAMEs
just bought condoms for the first time in my life (i'm 35)i had no idea they were so expensive basically 1 pound a condomno wonder teenage pregnancies happen if you're shagging 3 times a day 6 days a week it's not economically viable for teenagers to buy so many condomsanyway the reason i bought them isn't because i expect to have sex but because i thought i should finally start practising putting them on and cuming in one lol35 years oldnever had a condom on before mad isn't it
Genuinely think posting here has made me funnier but can't use it on normies as the topics would freak them out
bet his old mum worries herself silly about it though
The Care BAME Bunch
>>226076402I have alienated multiple friends from being a rorke in group chats
>>226076390I didn't put one on until last year (was 29)
>>226076445so you're at least 6 years ahead of mecongrats
>>226076390you get free johnnies at the health cliniconly if you're a certified shagger chad though. If the nurse ladies think you're a virgin freak then they make you pay and you're only allowed to buy the extra small condoms. Also they take a picture of your small willy besides your driver's licence, it happened to me
Did you have that lesson at school where they had you put a condom on something that wasn't quite a dildo or was my school a bit off
>>226076390I’m an unc and I’ve never used a condom. They’re for sailors.
>>226076390diego mate
In 125 years we went from hanging horse thieves to “sorry this illegal alien raped and killed your daughter, but his IQ is too low to stand trial or know right from wrong.”
>>226076390When you actually have sex buy the cheapest, most fragile ones online and be real rough with them. Thanks me later ;)
>>226076464yeah we did that was the last time i touched a condomand by touched i mean i was disgusted by it and made someone else in my group put it on the banana or whatever it was>>226076469neither have i cos i'm a virgin too but i think if i ever want to have sex i need to practice this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RlBUEHQ7bY
my cock's so tiny i have to import special condoms from japan
>>226076487i should start practising too. who knows what the future holds right?
Still the nicest looking trannard ever I think
>>226076520i do think being 35 it's probably time for me to have sex so i'm going to try extra hard to do that i think
Absolutely genuinely mental that I've had sex, cum inside a woman, made her orgasm and all that. Feels like someone else did all those things and I'm still the same grim incel I was before
>>226076486This is the way>>226076487You’ll find that most girls won’t insist on one. They’re usually on birth control anyway and the idea of skin on skin contact excites them
>>226076536corr who's that then
>>226076390First time i put one on it was very painful because my cock is so thick
>>226076557https://youtube.com/@emmaellingsen?si=-kTC8LHMVeV4Da6T
>>226076558i bought standard size so i hope they fit because otherwise it's 10 quid down the drain>>226076552grim ruining their hormones just so they can take more loads from strangers
Can't believe I have to get in the shower before I go outsideDoing something I don't want to do so I can do something I don't want to doIt not right
just going to eat my noodles then go to bedwhats the point
>>226076583You'll feel better after a shower
>>226076583blog on snorelord
>>226076583depends what you're off out tomany things only require rinsing your face and head under the shower.
>>226076552Can't say too much because I got b*nned for it a while ago. But the shock in her face was hilarious. And the experience was DIVINE.And women are cunts anyway, they'll screw you over any chance they get
I’m not keen on porn. I think seeing a girl caked in makeup taking huge willys is not good for the soul and is low test behaviour. You’re basically being cucked by the man on the screen. I much prefer instagram and TikTok slags. The suggestive is far more erotic. It lets the imagination handle the rest
>>226076558Same. Turns out I have a chode
>>226076610it's because you have a small willy and can't even imagine ever satisfying a woman
>>226076334rape her
antonio being rapey again is he
Post your stockpiles
Got a good sized cock but it doesn't matter as I never get to use it, real shame I'm not gay
>>226076624It’s actually big but I’ve been so caught up in nerves I’ve rarely been able to get it hard for a girl
>>226076646same
luanne from king of the hill is so moe
>>226076658course mate
>>226076646would've made a mint if i went bent in my teens
>>226076646Gay sex is terrible lol. Take it from me. The taboo is super erotic but the sex itself is grim.
>>226076646>>226076658Mine is 8" long and 6" girth as I've mentioned before. Trouble with a big willy is it doesn't get rock hard. Still get erections of course but not raging hard yknow.Also I've only ever had 1 gf so it never gets used anyway. Waste of a good willy
>>226076646same but i use mine moderately often because i am gay
>>226076679just get sucked off
>>226076679hah gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
I've a 2 inch willy and 5 inches thickNever had no problem with women. Since they scare me so I avoid them
>>226076670would devour those hips
large penises are vile
i said your mumin the bumi said your mumin the bum
>>226076685pics
>>226076701Agreed. I hate having it. Would happy have 2 inches fewer
>>226076685fUCKoFFnEUROtYPICAL
>>226076679>Take it from meNo I don't think I will
so now that the entire rightoid movement has collapsed, things are looking pretty good for a massive socialist ghazawat across the west
>doesnt get hardmight as well not even have one at that point
>>226076685Caverject
bi brit boys
>>226076711I've posted it many many times and got accused of bone pressing. I'm bored of getting banned.
got a 10 incher
my ragu is on
>>226076724>ghazawatLoved his goal against Scotland
my cock normal
Eating some straightaway oats and watching footy at my newly purchased first home on a busy main road
>Conservatives
i never actually measured my peepee before
the first youtube comment i ever made when i was 12 was "gay" on "what what (in the butt)" by samwell
>>226076768Alri literal billionaire
consider the chinese bamboo partridge
>>226076785Why?
got a lot more attention from girls when i was a skinny twink than i do as a muscle chad
Bobby Hill is my personal hero
>>226076815doubt you'd have gotten much attention either as a skinny bloke after twink death
>>226076802never cared to do it. i don't even have a ruler. seems decent size to me, i can wrap both hands around it and have a bit left over
hors eberg
>>226076823it was funny in its own way but very of its time.I don't think it's aged well at all
>>226076852is that the russian sex goddess from a few years back? she was sex sex sex
completely arsed up my life
>>226076842it still makes me slap my belly laughing so idgaf
>>226076825>>226076841>>226076855'bergs
>>226076602alri smellylad
>>226076852Didn't live up to the promo pic
>>226076864You can change
Rorke having a bath
dating app toil urge rising....
>>226076895rorke takes showers
>>226076896don't do it
>>226076896waste of time
Poo Screaming
>>226076930you'll poo nothing
>>226076852Is this just 2020s answerr to bullseye?
Are you prepared for a BLACK SKY EVENT? If not, why not?The UK government advises all UK'ers be ready for an imminent black sky event.
Put a little bit of maple syrup in my straightaway oats mm it lovely
Can't imagine anything more grim than scrolling through a load of average birds just so they can all reject me
>>226076945it's a bit cloudy but that's more of pale grey
do you know what all the settings on your washing machine do?
>>226076966dont think 4charia bloody allows that mate
>>226076966omdz sex
>>226076945Don't watch television sorry
how do i be like him?
just up
>>226076966norks
right just seen some mammary glands
having a sexual wank
>>226076966Love this little pygmy
>>226076966hate boobs like this. disgusting nipples and pancake tits
>>226076945>black sky event>ira gets told about ityeah bad idea>>226076966too small
>>226076953not having any chance of meeting women and sitting at home in your smelly bed fearing rejection from women who'll never set eyes on you is more grim
havent got up the courage to get hard yet to try the first condom wearing of my life
Right well that's a woman's bare areolas
>>226076953You're supposed to looksmax first
>>226077007Thierno Barreolas
>>226076981spend most of your free time at the pubeat mostly high calorie foods like Greggs, kebabs, piessupport your local football team and defend it with your lifeno nonce
>>226077003>0% chance is worse than 0% chance
>>226077015This just cant be good for you
any right handed left footed man in?
>>226077047two footed me
>>226077015it's crutches for Zooshka
Don't like droopy udder boobers
consensual handholding with the toilfu
Just love the football me
laptop fans on a madone
>>226077058Paedophile
Was really good at free kicks and crossing but not much else
>>226077032Cost him $121k
>>226077047Dadberg isI'm left-handed right-footed, MENTAL
im 6'4 already
>>226077080What's she doing
>>226077032thing is your legs are gona be too long as well optimal is like 62% of your body is legswith this shit he's gona be like 70% legs and it's gona look really weird with a compact torsoso even putting the health impacts aside it wont even look propersad reality for us manlets is that we're cooked
>>226077080barf
>>226076953do you count a woman swiping left on your account to be a rejection? even though you don't know when it happens
>>226077092handtoiling
>>226076855ugly bastard
>>226077080Lovely
>>226076945it's gonna be an Operation Dark Winter with an Operation Black Sky Event for Europe.
>>226077080if she said £1,000 and io'll play with you for an hour i'd pay it
Cousinstein is like 5'4" and he managed to marry a normal decently attractive woman
how's Movember going lads? chin is a bit itchy
eating some walkers bugles
What the heck does Blacked Sky Event mean?
>>226077116How big is his willy? I know you've seen it
>>226076945black sky happens every night mate
>>226077111expensive game of yahtzee
>>226077100Pretty sure you'd have an idea when you swipe on 1000 of them and get nothing back
>>226077120>Movember
>Restore Councillor says Russell Brand is a victim of 'two-tier justice', adding he was targeted for speaking out against Covid and finding Jesus | LBC
got a date tomorrow. a date on a sunday. ludicrous. i like an early night on a sunday but instead i'm going to be knackered and hung over on monday at toil.
>>226077120
Why are they still trying to push this retarded WW3 gimmickNothing ever happens and if it does nobody is dying for Britain lmao
>>226077144why are you drinking to excess during a date
doing poovember me
>>226077144Dont think its a good idea to get drunk on a date
I have lots in common with this rorke character
>>226076894>poofter>died of AIDSpotteyr
Yandex back up I see
>>226077144how on earth did you get this date
>>226077157>>226077163lol
>>226077178been back up months
I have never been on a 'date'
eight thirty res at Dorsia
>>226077144just don't get too drunk and overstep your boundaries
>>226077189samenever had sex eitherhave asked out over a 100 girls as well lolsucks ot be me
>>226077189you should try them. they're shit
>>226077193Nobody goes there any more
most first dates are just seeing if it's fun getting drunk together
>>226077206someonme would have to be a proper loser to not be fun when you're drunk and they're drunk lolreal question is if someone is bearable sober
*falls over*
>>226077193Dorsia Saturday night, how'd he swing that
I hate having an asian fetish it’s so cliche. i don’t want to be THAT guy, i don’t want mixed race kids, and i’m not even into anime or asian culture at all. i don’t know how or why it happened, all i know is that my monkey brain tells me to put my white cock in asian pussy.
>>226077189I've been going on these "practice" dates with the toilfu since she isn't single yet but I technically still haven't been on a real date yet
>>226077255u the one who shagged her after the fireworks
>>226077206baffling takewouldn't that mean you'd both need to be drunk all the time to get on
>>226077262sc
>>226077262Fried that foid
bout to have a fucking can of monster at 1pm like a fucking MAD LAD
>>226077277no you fucking weirdo it's just a fun and easy activity for the first time you meet
my cousin's got a massive cock but he went bald by 30 swings and roundabouts
>>226077298how do you never mind
>>226077274yh but we didnt shag, I've slightly shot myself in the foot by telling her I found the whole love triangle thing uncomfortable because now she's determined to respect that and not try anything until shes officially split
>>226077298um
Saturday lunch chippy with dogbergPaki owned chippy but oh well
sick of seeing this shit
>>226077307scream
>>226077307throw chip at them
>>226077298That's a very fair trade-off
>>226077296this must be a zoomer thing because to me first date is usually a casual thing at a cafe not going to get hammered
>>226077307he allowed
>>226077337id prefer thsi photo if there was a cat in it
>>226077325middle one is ummy
>>226077331assumed you were the zoomer here with your 'what? alcohol? why not a cafe?' take.
>>226077307Give him more chips
>>226077337That's a Mikey job
>>226077307kys
just got a job, I'm going to be the new entertainment director at the Tangier's casino
>>226077363he reuse
clicking not interested on every video that has a woman on the thumbnail
>226077307posted it again award
>>226077363catberg working hard saving the planet
might play a computer game
>>226077304lol walk me through what happened
half of the movies showing at the pictures are in various Indian languages
>>226077399I would bum you
>>226077410I'd bum me too
>>226077413*the fucking booky wook at him
foy
>>226077413wtf this isn't funny
Nigga named Jonathan Paedophile Information Exchange lmao
>>226077444:shook:
foids be like we need to upend centuries worth of legal tradition to increase rape convictions ok
give the cat a little stroke on her rump
2nd playthrough of FFX starting ladsthis time i will use Wakka
>>226077460that's animal abuse
only drank 2 cans last night so still plenty left for tonight which means I don't have to go out so get in there
>>22607746618GB update before i can play. i feel sick
>>226077466u always have to use him tho for the attack type to kill the flying creaturessuch terrible RPS game design
>>226077469
>>226077444gucks sake howled at this silly post
>>226077466For me it was Lulu
A bunch of ambulances have turned up at HMP Wandsworth, where Russell Brand just spent his first night
>>226077400not sure how much you know about the saga already but>meet girl in 5 year relationship that's dead in the water, only reason they haven't broke up is neither of them want to adress it>both of us are strongly attracted to each other and started meeting up regularly just to enjoy each other's company>she starts questioning why I haven't made a move yet and rather than admit my incellious nerves around intimacy I explain it away by saying I'm not comfortable trying it on with another blokes missus>she accepts this completely and basically takes anything more erotic that a cuddle off the table until she's officially single, which could still be months awaytl;dr I've basically cockblocked myself by being too pussy to try anything
>>226077482not really because you can switch characters without losing a turn and also wakka has the highest damage limit break anyway the only shit characters in ffx are lulu anmd kimari ok
>>226077519he's done himself in
>>226077519Fuck's sake they've vaxxed him?!
tiktok driving up the price of gameboys and limiting my shiny hunting potential
>>226077499i used her throughout my first playthorugh but i felt she was kind of dead weight. pretty sure Yuna can do everything Lulu can but better
>>226077530just kiss the bitch and grab her thigh for fucks sakeshe'll spread her legs and let you fingerbang herthen you have cash in the bank to claim your free blowieand just as you're about to cum, you say there's something else of hers that's wet and warm that you want to try
>>226077530i thought u decided u were gona shag herso you then chickened out when something was happening after the fireworksgive the exact details of your date the other day
>>226077546grow up
>>226077519you know ambulances turn up to prisons on a daily basis right
I am not having suicidal thoughts and I am a competent swimmer
>>226077546ktim
>>226077538wtf lulu isn't shit she's the only spellcater to proper exploit elemental weaknesseskimari is shite tho i agree
He was a purple belt in 2021. Wouldn't be surprised if he's brown or black by now. He'd batter and rape everyone in that prison. Those ambulances aren't for him.
>>226077578you wouldn't dare say that to my face because I'd punch your gay head clean off
>>226077612shut up mate
>>226077617
>>226077469get the two so you don't miss out>>226077490bit old
I met Rorke... she's black.
>>226077655noncetendo nonces love their noncey little games
Excited to see Malon in HD
Brand definitely getting head from the foid guards in the first night
>>226077655i'd split link in two
>>226077413Would he still be saying this if Brand remained a leftist though
right well that's a mentally ill man in a bikini
>>226077679Hearing reports he's already raped them all
>>226077679Then claiming he raped them
>>226077573so the whole evening, which went really well, I was waiting for a good moment for the first kiss but it didn't come, so right at the very end in the car when she pulled up to my flat I finally leant in for a kiss goodbye and she actually moved away so I ended up giving a peck on the cheek instead. I was absolutely mortifed at that reaction and thought I'd totally misread the situation but she explained later that she could tell it wasn't a "natural" moment and that I was forcing myself to do something, which was essentially true. Picrel was her message afterwards
i have. a boner
watching casino
>>226077715put it in a bowl
did a full on 60 minute mega wank and couldn’t cum #willysbroken
>>226077683no, because these allegations would never have come to light and he'd still be a free man
>>226077716boring film tbqh
>>226077728just go for longeri'm planning to go for at least four hours this evening while i enjoy my wine
Would it be INSANE to move to Rwanda
>>226077746i think it would be pretty weird
I SHALL be getting the digits
>>226077741hope your willy falls off
poo
>>226077767that's a big ooof>>226077777
Men wearing a silk scarf. OK or a bit gay?
>>226077768dont think it will but my prostate might start getting all achey and i'll probably wake up in the middle of the night super dehydrated these are the risks you take with a megawank but i'm brave enough to take those risks in pursuit of nirvana
>>226077783depends on the colour and what else you're wearing
he's hanged himselfrussells hanged himself in his own cell
>>226077800oops
me I usually have my JAV-fuelled megawank on a sunday when I've got nothing else to do x
>>226077800Howard?
Wonder how many lasses he shagged. Apparently the girl he "raped" gave him a rimjob hours after meeting him
>>226077797i'm black and i'm not wearing anything else
>>226077800SO SHOW ME HIS BODY
did the nasty rapist have a pang of regret did he
>Hey I'm a middle-class man from Bath and I'm going to put on a Northern accent and say something ironically racist
nobody wanks for four hours i dont believ it
reckon any other top shaggers will be going to prison?
wanking to slenderman porn
Mouseymy Hero !!
>>226077868Dunno are they vaxxed
>>226076241Women like it more when men say less words. They like a "man of few words"
>>226077862Used to find him hilarious when I was 12. Reckon his comedy style really only appeals to children and women
>>226077881too fat pierced nipples are for gaysfanny too hairless
fucking um
I wonder what will be the next edition
Hello bongersNo face sitting porn or incest rp porn today, okay?
she's an umplympic umthlete
>>226077903animal i hope
Suppose at some point I probably should get dressed
>>226077871we love her
I got more attention from girls when they were surrounding me and I wasn't saying many words. Going to start doing THIS again
>>226077909i will definitely be watching a kelly payne kino laterincest and age play
>>226077881cworrr
>>226077909okwhat should i watch instead?
I'm having a grand old time by myself
GDP was insanemad how many hot women will do porn if they think they won't be foundmodel-tier amateur women tooinsanetruly the 2010s were better
need to grate a load of parmesan soonone of my least fave cookery tasks
Reckon Alysa Liu has a bush or is she clean shaven?
>>226077944:(
>>226077944gross domestic product was porn???
>>226077946landing strip hopefully
>>226077909not illegal in Oireland, yanklad
>>226077970it literally is
>>226077977he wasnt talking to you
wanking to my pet goldfish
going ikeafirst time going ikea and im off to ikea
>>226078054>>226078054>>226078054>>226078019k x
>>226077697'kin ell how do you feel about this then
