How's taking it easy going, Anon?
life sucks and i really just want someone to hug and comfort me.
>first NEET thread this year>Crashed my car I for the majority of my ownership of it have loved far more than myself>Gradually becoming more and more lonely as my friends become less and less available>Try to contact old anons I knew and can't>Crippling unemployment made worse by piling debt and all the desperate drowning myself in happiness buttons>Very close to slipping back into impulse and porn addiction>Current NEET thread>Worked miracles with my car and I can be more okay with myself now because of it>Made a new anon friend off the second thread>Finally have a job and comparatively not a shit one either>Am inching closer and closer to being able to/allowing myself to do more things that make me genuinely happy and more of a man May not really be a NEET by any definition anymore but the Otaku Comedy is definitely real!>>50913791I hope one through the screen helps a little!Luck plays a big role and it can get really hard to get up and stand tall again every day but keep your chest warm and things may turn out alright in the end.I know that need very, very well and if you really don't have anyone to turn to, my heart goes out to you. at least you're loved here for what little that's worth.
Everything hurts.
>>50913867Just make sure you don't desparately go all-in on wanting everything to feel good!That'll just make it hurt more...
>>50913893I don't think I'll do anything at all.
>>50913923You have to do something at least!It doesn't have to be big or humanitarian, but there should be something that makes you happy.Could be super small like Louise's pink blonde hair, otaku hearts just need to follow what they want and figure it out from there
Jacked off sixteen times to breast vore today and wondered what I was doing with my life
>>50911910If I were a girl, I would become a prostitute. It's that kind of week.
>>50913977You can be a prostitute anon, gay dudes are notoriously not picky.
>>50913832I'll sleep right now but remind me to reply to you tomorrow... thank you anon..
>>50913940I want to have a very long & dreamless sleep.
Everyone says that hikikomori who have trouble going outside just need to go out more and I feel completely misunderstood. I already try to go out at the least crowded times of day and it’s still intense. People act like it’s just about a little pain and feeling uncomfortable but it’s not. At home when I get overwhelmed I often end up hitting myself. If this were to happen outside I would likely end up being imprisoned and possibly shot.
I signed up for gym and its fun so far
>>50911910I live and w*rk in a sweatshop now
>>50911910Hell! Fucking hell. I feel stress for not being able to get a job.>Can't get a job because the only allowable forms of ID are provisional driver's licenses or passports.>Banks lied to me about needing a provisional drivers or a passport at 16, so now I need one because I'm an adult now.>Tried getting a provisional 3 times and was rejected every time for something stupid.>Tried to get a passport and sent the application to the passport office on the 23rd of april, while the deadline being on the 30th.>Haven't heard since.Am I fucked?
>>50915877Not necessarily, those fuckers can take months.
>>50914518Don't force yourself, it only works on normalfags. If you have a bad day just stare out of the window or sit on the veranda/balcony/porch/whatever for fresh air.
It doesn't really matter, and it's not really that important, but in a week and a half I will have been drawing for one year.It's a pretty huge milestone for me since I'm a quitter who gives up easily and have failed at any single endeavor I have ever attempted in my life, whether that be music or studying or sports or even socializing, I have failed them all and given up in a matter of weeks.And yet I'm not happy about it at all.I have been a hikikomori since I dropped out of high school and even before that I was terminally online, everyday, browsan all day, watching shitty vids or animations on youtube and newgrounds, playing crappy flash games or lurking cool threads on 4chan (I was one of the cancer kids from ng lol), browsing deviantart or some other shitty weaboo site.I never had any friends at school and was always by myself, living in my head, daydreaming all the time.I remember looking at the other kids playing and socializing and wondering, ''how?'' ''why not me?'' what am I lacking?'' I felt such a strong emotion of inadequacyThis emotion followed me online, you'd think someone who spent basically all their free time on the net would have many online friends right? But even after browsing the net daily for more than decade I hadn't made a single friend.I confess, I am one of those lurkers, if you have ever been in one of those threads where they discuss the state of 4chan or a certain board, about how the people who post are a much smaller number than the people who lurk, if you have ever wondered what sort of type a ''lurker'' is, I am that kind of person, nice to meet'cha. I've been on 4chan for more than a decade and all my posts can be counted on the fingers of my hand, all from this one year period where I started drawing.Because I wanted to make a conscious effort to break my schizoid habit.My lack of any kind of socialization, and my lack of any kind of creative effort.Because for all these years I have just been a consumer of content.Lurker of threadsWatcher of videosListener of musicViewer of imagesObserver of peopleI've never really done anything y'know?This might sound silly, but the negativity of /ic/ is so bad I think it's rubbing off on me. All my attempts to be social there fizzled out, either because I post something and it receives no replies or someone replies and I self destruct because my schizoid brain sends me such strong taboo feelings, causing me to feel anxious and guilty which makes me just bail mid convo and leave the thread, I'm awful.At the same time while I lurk threads I see people socialiizng and being normal, lots of regulars I recognize.The feeling of inadequacy from childhood returnsAt the same time I visit drawthreads on other boards and I see the same there.Everyone is so natural and human, and their art is so alive and confident, even if it's just some mspaint doodle of some scrimblo.I go on jaypee, people are talking about going to the Miku Expo or something their friends did on discordI feel súbhumanIt reminds me of that sinking feeling I got when I was lurking on deviantart and saw just how earnest and open people where about their art and interests, how they were engaging with each other, cute little comments, are they friends? I wanna be like them, why can't I be like them?The feeling of inadequacy from childhoodThe feeling of inadequacy from childhoodThe feeling of inadequacy from childhoodThe feeling of inadequacy from childhoodThe feeling of inadequacy from childhoodThe feeling of inadequacy from childhoodThe feeling of inadequacy from childhoodThe feeling of inadequacy from childhoodThe feeling of inadequacy from childhoodSorry for shitting up the thread with my blogpost, here's some cool music as an apology.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GG9xaV67FEghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVghktnruZ8https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYV3XawsdvI
>>50914518>I often end up hitting myselfi'll do it for you if you wanttake something off your plate
>>50916536Thanks bro, that really helps. Will you be punching or kicking me?
What's frustrating about the neet life is the fact that people sees you as worthless
>>50916600And also, at some point you start to "forget" how you're supposed to act around people and thus you come out as clumsy or something I don't know.. but yeah it's a vicious cycle. I've been unemployed for a year and a half
>>50916389>>50916389I don't much in here, but what you wrote is very reelatable to me, well most of it dropped out of high school, still tried to join the work force and realize a project to bounce back but failed since I got unlucky and ended up with assholes bosses and co-workers I then totally gave up and became a shut-in, it took time to figure out what could I do as melancholy was slowly killing me, from all my failed attempt at socializing, making a single friend, failing my project ect, I gave drawing another chance maybe a year and a half ago I don't remenber and today it's really been my anchor.anyways good luck to you and in your artistic journey.Ganbatte kudasai.
>>50916612Thank you! And I wish you the same.I also relate to what you wrote, shortly after dropping out I tried to get my high school diploma through online classes and a couple other ''projects'' but it just didn't work out and I gave up eventually. I felt so lost and aimless and had trouble focusing because I was so depressed. Seems we had a similar journey when it comes to drawing.
How do you guys deal with>being your parents bitch>Lack of social interaction>Romantic yearning>Knowing your parents will die eventually and the money will end>Depression from lack of purpose
>>50917211It's very hard and it's a vicious cycle>being your parents bitchOne of the hardest thing to deal with. I just avoid them. I do a lot of chores in the house, I keep my mouth shut, I give them money when they need and that's about it.>Lack of social interactionI don't suffer too much from it since I usually think people around me are retarded and barely sentient.>Romantic yearningVery tough indeed. It's hard to cope but you can't force these things anyway. I feel like at some point you either accept that only a miracle can save you or you keep on looking for opportunities and eventually it'll come>Depression from lack of purposeI still struggle with this a lot but in the end I feel like my desires are worth more than anything else in the world so I should live to follow them whatever they are. Desire is key imo. There's no higher purpose, there's nothing else in this world. Only us and what we want.
>>50917211>>50917250>parents bitchFaggots, they're my bitches!!!!
>>50917211my answer is unhelpful so iwill not say it
>>50917259I use to feel so guilty sometimes. But not anymore. Not since I learned some things about my parents past.
>>50917211I don't deal with it I just suffer
my life is closing short
>>50911910Not much. Although I need to tone down my expresso consumption even though at max its 2 shot every day. My hearts beating hard lole.I take walks but lately I've been lazy since I have no bread and egg. Its very relaxing to the point it solved my insomnia lole the walking I mean.I'm so tired because of caffein so I might go sleep in afternoon and waking up an hour or more, I want to find an all purpose drink but expresso just filled that itch man.I have no problem talking with strangers, when I do meet them my gaze is elsewhere, getting to know people over time to the point I look at their faces are rare.I don't know what to say anymore.>>50916389Can you draw me a flower/plant for me? I want to see how you perceive life.Your fortune: good luck
It's the start of another miserable day.
I post on imageboards solely to feel like I exist somewhere.
>>50917211>>being your parents bitchI'm in a good relationship with them. If anything, I help them just as much because they're getting old.>>Lack of social interactionThis crosses my mind, then I go to any social event or gathering and I want to get back to my computer ASAP. I would rather go outside for a walk.>>Romantic yearningNever truly bothered me that much since I've had a good life with my entire family so I don't have an urgency to seek love from someone else. It's not the same, I know, but I've accepted that I'm high maintenance and I don't want to deal with the bs of other people if there's a chance I don't receive the same attention back.>>Knowing your parents will die eventually and the money will endC'est la vie but the money is not what keeps me awake. In 2021, the dread of pondering my mortality finally hit me like it does, I think, all of humanity. It was a slow process to avoid getting agitated over the fact that life will be over for all of us eventually. After dealing with those thoughts over the years, any setbacks seem trivial in comparison.>>Depression from lack of purposeThis one is difficult since it does bother me that I decided to take an easy path in life but I've never felt depressed over it. Even when I was aiming for something back in college and I was focused on the grind, anything I did was never enough. I thought about it for a few minutes but it's really not something that impacts my psyche.With my answers I'm not trying to portray me as someone who's frolicking happy every single day, but I've experienced a best case scenario for a long time so far. I'm thankful for being lucky to have a caring family (even if fights were commonplace in the past) and I'm aware that the future will not be kind to me.
Being unable to say no has ruined me. It's equally my parents' fault for thinking I could ever accomplish anything.
Can I use this thread as my diary for 2 weeks? I don't wanna bother other anons but I need to unfuck part of my life and get rid of some bad habits real quick, I got invited to an event and I don't want everyone to notice I have been living like a nasty animal for the last decade.
>>50917211I'm on welfare and haven't seen my parents in 2 years, feels good man.
>>50918049Feel free.>don't want everyone to notice I have been living like a nasty animal for the last decade.Just take a shower, go out with clean clothes and you'll look like anyone else.
can you get gibs in the US if you've never worked before?
>>50914518Hey, I used to hit myself a lot and ended up busting some shit inside of my face and my mouth went lopsided like a stroke for like 3 months. Don't recommend it at all, solved absolutely nothing for me. Also, don't go outside if you don't want to. People who say "go outside more" are like people trying to domesticate a wild dog.
Please don't self-harm Anons, it's gay. Play a video game instead.
>>50918057>Just take a shower, go out with clean clothesThat's what makes it so hard, having to do things like washing your clothes, brushing your teeth or doing laundry, things that have to be done pretty much every single day, I don't have any grooming routine in my daily life, I have been really negligent with my own hygiene for so long it will be hard to make it part of my life.
>>50918227I know what you mean. Do it occassionally but consistently. Doesn't need to be every day, just take care of yourself at least once a week and before you go out to see people. Being clean will make you feel better while doing literally anything else, it's really worth forcing it.
I keep writing books that I will never sell.
