How would /k/ defend itself against giant prehistoric owls?
>>65288437In the UFO literature, oddly large owls or other weirdly large animals tend to be greys in disguise
>>65288437>giant prehistoric owls?How many times can they take my adult dick?
>>65288437Get the fuck out of here David Bowie, I don't want to magic dance.
Fuck off Simon Cowel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8el_P4yvfc
>>65288445Why would aliens, who have the technology to travel the vast distances of space, disguise themselves as a fucking owl? The aliens would have advanced sensor technology, probes, and drones making in person observation pointless. Plus why would we debase ourselves hopping around disguised as a stupid bird?
>>65288474>we
>>65288474Because you're sociopaths that enjoy killing people, taking their forms, and causing chaos.
>>65288437>Just trying to get an uber home after being out all nightSome former neighbours used to have one of these big boys land in their driveway late at night and trigger the movement sensor on the light, it was well over 2ft tall and either used to catch the biggest fucking rabbits I've ever seen or some Mr Tiddles and Fluffy kitty cats just didn't make it home sometimes.
>>65288474
>>65288437A quality degree in underfluffy massage & manicure from a respectable institution.
>>65288445And skinwalkers.
>>65288437Obviously I'd fuck it
Why did skinwalker posting up and vanish around 2016? What have they been up to?
>>65288678They don't you to know that we are among you
>>65288689>they>weGreat now the skinwalkers are off their meds
>>65288437Owls are cool. I heard one last night
>>65288437Owls are fren. But the answer you are looking for is probably the same reason owls are mostly nocturnal today; the proliferation of hawks and eagles.
Are owls just cats with wings?
>>65288786Why is he doing a Mussolini?>>65288790In my experience, they're more like foxes with wings. They're very intelligent and affectionate. >>65288474>making in person observation pointless >implying the ETs are simply observing You don't want to go down that rabbit hole fren.
>>65288828He likes to pretend to be a bat sometimes.
>>65288828>They're very intelligentNo they're no lmao they're dumb as rocks compared to corvids or parrots
>>65288678I wouldn’t worry about it
>>65288903I was driving my fuel truck night shift here in texas and a fucking owl flew right into my windshield lol.
>>65288437>you see this paper here? It says “Death to all grey alien rapists.”https://youtu.be/5NUiIu5Yphg
>>65288678I think they all became furry gooners
>>65288903By raptor standards they are no different to any of them.
>>65288976I ran over a raven that didn't take off before I ran it over with my car in 2012. What's your point?
>>65288437>>65288440OP here. this is all I could remember from my dream last night.Maybe not a dreamDidn’t know that about this being in twin peaksI was just like yeah owls aren’t that big so I looked it up and they’re all extinct
>>65289094I know I did.https://files.catbox.moe/tf8l31.png
>>65289081>OOWLS?
>>65288678They came out and identified as women
>>65288474communicating with moloch worshippers
>>65288474>Why would aliens, who have the technology to travel the vast distances of space, disguise themselves as a fucking owl?Because they are not physical living beings like us. They are actually formless entities consisting of a ball of sentient gas (!) that uses pseudobodies to explore our world similar to how we use diving suits to explore the bottom of the sea.
>>65288437Just pick up a stickIt's a birdBird's are incredibly fragile
>>65289496kek
This is Fred (not his real name).From time to time he hangs out with a couple of his buddies in my woods.They are not so curious about myself and my presence doesn't bother them, but they do appear concerned about who is preparing my meals.My typical replies are either the Wife (usually) or myself, but neither of these answers satisfy them. I even tried pictograms but had no success.I'm beginning to believe that I'm misunderstanding their question.Regardless, they seem happy and I fell relieved when they are around, especially when they give me a nice wink.
Red. Hot. Bird. Cloaca.
>>65288437a big shield strewn on your back because they are silent and a big torch to scare them off from swooping over those who don't have a shieldthey scare from light easily because it takes a while for their eyes to focus, so if they swipe at a light they are temporarily blindedthey have sensitive hearing, they can hear trees scream because their screetch is the similar tone as the water evaporating from creaking wood (high pitch, humans can't hear trees screaming)a cloudy day is bad, a foggy day is good to go hunting for their burrows since large ones cant hide in trees, odds are they kill for their homes if they're large
>>65288437
>>65288437Probably with my penis
>>65288678election tourists took over, /k/ has been downhill since sandy hook
>>65290248>14 years agoSurely this was an actual turning point and you're not simply an old man grumbling about youngsters
>>65290258/k/ had less traffic back then, we had Steam Groups and movie nights, those went away when autist started flooding the board calling everyone feds. It started with fake ccw defense stories
>>65290258>youngstersInternet traffic is now mostly third worlders on cheap smartphones, some of which are underaged social media addicted faggots to boot.
>>65290266The brownie incident and its consequences have been a disaster for the /k/ommando race.
>>65289094>>65289496They can still write, can't they? I am owed a 10 year backlog of spoopy greentexts
>>65288437that's not an owl...
>>65288465Holy FUCK do I feel old. I still sometimes mutter "owls in your gravyyyy" to myself when I make any meal that has gravy with it. Good times.
>>65290266It's over
>>65288474Why wouldn't they?
my dick
>>65288678After the skinwalkers doxxed themselves here. A special operation was carried out, during which their communities were flooded with dragon dildos, fentanyl, and (illustrated) pornography.Over the course of a few years, their society collapsed...The operation codename was e621.We never recovered from that.
https://youtu.be/mbi7rq-TSk8
>>65288437I'LL PUT MY DICK IN THE OWL
>>65294051I DID THAT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, THAT WAS A BAD MOVE.[spoiler] YOU ARE A WIZARD [/spoiler]
You volunteered for this
>>65294062...I'm a WHAT?!
>>65288485That don't make us no bad fellas.
>>65294051
>>65289843Jealous. Wish had even one owl.Sigh. An' you got two.
>>65294154+1
>>65288437What is this, some kind of superb owl?
Guys if you hear me screaming about owls it’s fine just let them take me
>>65288678People get families and actual responsibilities. You'll learn eventually.
>>65288678They locked me up in a rubber room with rats and medsI was talking about how ai chatbots would destroy the economyIt’s funnier now
>>65288445>tend to be greys in disguiseScreen memories. In real time you are either paralyzed or under their control. They change your memories of the abduction and disguise it as something innocuous like owls. The intent doesn't seem to be to completely conceal the abduction, but instead to control the perception and interpretation of it.
>>65288678/x/ imploded into the unusable shithole it is now
>>65294494What happened
>>65288678I hunted down all the cryptids, so no need to post about it. Those wily Wendigos cost me a lot of money since nothing less than a 303 Bri'ish round will bring them down
>>65288437Regular owls are already very fragile. You would be fine if they can't ambush you at night.
>>65295230My guess is massive /pol/ schizo immigration
>>65288678From the sound of your replies, it was probably just one dedicated guy making new threads and he presumably just gave up/forgot/died one day and stopped posting. These sorts of things often are.
>Wake up>See thisWhat gun are you grabbing?
>>65295343It wasn’t One of those times where everyone had an experience but now that’s it’s been popularized new reports aren’t treated as credibleToo many faggot larpers and furries
12 gauge bird shot, it’ll puncture the alien suit too and they’ll dissipate and suffocate in our atmosphere
>>65295461The double rifle in 416 rigby
>>65288437308Win and up
>>65295461Marlin 1895sbl in 45-70.
>>65294207You evidently haven't, seeing as how you're still here
>>65294494It became too famous. Instead of creepypastas you got schizophrenics and religious nuts shitting up the board. Its just sad.
>>65288474Maybe they are furry (feathery?) aliens? Also, who would suspect of a bigass bird?
>>65288673>nerdy 1471didn't know I needed this in my life
>>65296838Given all the recent alien file reveals and the increasing preponderance of military-grade UFO footage I think it's incredibly likely that Earth is getting buzzed by alien observation technology. The extent of such investigation, and any self-imposed limitations they abide by, are difficult to speculate. But look at all the goofy-ass shit our wildlife researchers do around animals to study/film/tag them, with an attitude of trying not to overly disturb the animals. Who knows just how weird reality can truly get and if there are some goofy-ass aliens just following the letter of their laws even if it doesn't make any practical sense, or think some uncanny valley shit is totally gud-e-nuf.
>>65290248>>65290258>>65290266>be me>buy 1st gun at 19>live in CT>moist nugget for $106 out the door with all the fixins >this was in mid 2012>fun times were had on /k/>sandy hoax happend >gun culture started to shift everywhere in all kinds of ways >/k/ degrades significantly. >gun culture does too as a whole around 2016
>>65296841We all need more Mal0 in our lives.
>>65296851>"And here we see the Earthians in their natural habitat... The Culdesac. Such majestic creatures."
>>65296868There's a funny 90's romcom that follows that exact premise to a T, complete with an ongoing Alien Attenborough voice-over trying to interpret human cultural lunacy to his alien audience.
>>65296886>complete with an ongoing Alien Attenborough voice-overOk, I'm sold.
>>65288437Aliens are either demons or angels. Probably usually demons I think.
>>65288437Plenty of pspsps, possibly some petting, possibly even hugs.
>>65297047Does that work on animals that aren't felines?
>>65297051Owls are basically cats with wings. Twitter told me so.
>>65297007They're "just" nth dimensional beings that can move physically in the dimension we experience as time. Our interactions are relatively rare because we take up an infintesimally small part of their existence, in the same way a two dimensional space may occupy an infinite number of positons in our universe. And just as we would struggle to comprehend or interact with a two dimensional being (if they exist at all, might be impossible for sentience to arise only using two dimensional physics), they struggle to meaningfully relate to us.I don't think they're particularly malevolent or benevolent, although who knows what constitutes consciousness or morality for them. Nor are they uniquely powerful or intelligent, but their ability to move physically through time enables them to "transpose" us in the same way you can rotate a two-dimensional object in three-dimensional space and change it in a way that is physical impossible using only two dimensions.
>>65288437I went on a date with a chick who had a federal permit to have an owl. It had its own bedroom.
>>65297112Did you get to pet the owl?
>>65297112He’s cute
>>65297116>>65297125She volunteered for some raptor rescue group and got him when he was a little feller. I didn’t pet him, his bedroom had a huge set of branches and he got on top of some furniture when I popped in.
>>65297130Was he one of the bigger or smaller owls?
>>65297148He was average size, maybe a foot or so high. He was on his branch when she opened the door and he flew over my head to the dresser and he seemed big enough!
>>65297155Was she cute?
>>65297155Was he like a barn owl or did he have ear tufts?
>>65297157She was pretty cute, had actually been a big model as a teen. >>65297159I found a better pic, so maybe that helps. Apparently by life’s law, she has to do educational presentations and have a big enclosure in her yard.
>>65297112Did she have big tits, or did she buy a hooter to compensate?
>>65288678people don't actually believe in cryptids anymoreeverything you see now is ironic shitposting
>>65295461My suicide vest with a deadman trigger
>>65288437A semi auto shotgun, improved modified or tighter choke. #4 buck, maybe #3 or #2 if #4 won't cut it.
>>65295461Slug-loaded, drum-fed Saiga-12 with a super safety. I take no prisoners.
>>65294133Fer fehck's sake Harry listen to meh!
>>65288437Are they immune to shot? Seems like a very solvable issue
>>65299888I think it would work fine against the ancient ones unless they were actually ayys
Birds aren’t real
>>65300067That's what the birds want you to think.
>>65300069I can’t argue with that logicAlways watching, chirping like smoke detectors
Lmao this is the plot of disclosure day tooLazy writing honestly
>>65298665I see what you did.
>>65288437Owls are pussues.
>>65288678I̴͙̼̔̄ ̸͇͊̽w̸͈̟̗͒ö̷̠͚͎́̌͊ú̷̘̯ͅl̵̼̎̈́̈́ḍ̶͖̈́̓̕ǹ̴̺'̵̧͎͇̋̽̈́ṭ̴̡́̃̎ ̴̌͆ŵ̸̬̭ŏ̴̬͔̟̔̋r̵̠̓r̷̨͘͝y̶̙͋̌ ̷͈̌a̶̛̫͇̘̚b̴͇͐̚ò̶̰̾͒ú̴̡̗̜ẗ̶̰́ ̶̗̌̆i̸͙̮̚t̸̫͗̍̿ͅ.̶̴̷̹̫̩̥̥̍͊̈́͘͘J̵̘̈́u̵̩̎̏͗s̴̝̙̃͜ẗ̴͔͚́̈́̑͜ ̶̙̹̆̓o̴͈͓̐͆͝p̵̳̻̗͋̕e̴̠̘͙̕͝n̶̝̺̍ ̴͍̠̏̑̽u̸̳͑̂p̸͈͖͌̕ ̴̨͗̈́̊ͅa̶̼̪͋̆ ̸̛͎͉͍͛̐w̶̟͚͗i̸͛̕ͅn̷̠͕͑d̵̻̘̃̈́ò̴̠̥ẁ̸͙ ̸̙̥̆f̴̰̖̈́͒o̶͔̹̎̉͜r̶͕̈́͌̉ ̸̖̑s̸͕̳̎̈́o̴͌̋̒ḿ̵̦̪e̸̛̹͓ ̸̱̼̀f̷͉͎̓̾͆ŗ̵͎̫͌̋͝e̴͎̽s̷̩̗͑̽͜ẖ̷͆͊ ̷̩͚̍͆à̷̯̯͇ï̴̬̝͕̈ṛ̷͓̃̏̆,̵̳̟̘̎̂͠ ̴̧̩̯͂l̵͉͕̟͆̋͌ả̶̜̠y̴͔̾ ̶̧̱͝d̷̗͊ȍ̷̗͕͑̄ẅ̴͓̘́̂͂n̷̯͌ ̷͇͂̑ȃ̴̬̗͈̐͑n̸̛̜̰̓͌ͅd̷͎̑ ̴̡͓͎̒̎̾g̵̘̜̮̃o̶̞̤̽̈ ̴͎̠̞͗ẗ̶̖́̉̽o̷͔̳̟͒̄ ̶̦̓̈́s̸̳̺͒̃͝l̵̫̟̰̓͝e̶͕͓̾͑e̶̢͖͎͌̆͊p̷͉̕,̵̮̀ ̴̡̯͍̉̀͘à̷̜̍͠ͅn̶̦̜̓̊̊o̸̼̖̔̈́ṇ̵̨̍͂.̸̳
>>65300144Signs had the best ridiculously petty Gray space hooligans.
>>65297112That's really cool. I used to know this coonass Cajun chick who (*cough* illegally) had a screech owl that she'd found orphaned and raised it until it was grown. She eventually released it but it came back and just lived in the woods near her family's property.>inb4 why the fuck didn't you marry her you dumbassShe was a total dyke. I never had a chance. But she was still super cool.
>>65300248Jokes on you, I'm into that shit. I sleep fully nude and erect with the bedroom window wiiiide open. Come and get me.
>>65302210>troon out>score Problem?
>>65295250You shot my wife?:(
>>65302252Lol, I'd rather die (and I'd never pass). I will say this though, she did "teach" me how to kiss at a party once, in a very "ur such a virgin lemme help you / haha we're friends and this is so funny" sort of way. She was hammered and her breath reeked of alcohol but I clearly didn't care. I honestly don't think she even remembered it happening, and I never brought it up.
>>65288445So forceful intercourse is the correct course of action?
>>65302279Nice
>>65294154A tiger would just bite its neck though. Come on, brother.
>>65288474>We
>>65288678Once upon a time the average /k/ommando was younger, owned a lot more guns, and occasionally went into the woods to blast shit with his $100 moist nugget, this made shitty greentexts about spooky stories that totally definitely 100% totally happened for real guys both entertaining and relevant to the userbase. These days the average user isn't young, they don't own guns, and they don't go outside. The conditions for skinwalker threads to exist as anything other than a nostalgic callback to older times no longer exist. Kind of sad that nothing sprang up to replace them. Or maybe all the original posters are busy raising their wendigo children with their wendigo wives, who knows.
>>65302259i would let her kill me
>>65304602>Or maybe all the original posters are busy raising their wendigo children with their wendigo wives, who knows.A truly beautiful sentiment.
>>65288474>Why would aliens, who have the technology to travel the vast distances of space, disguise themselves as a fucking owl?They thought it would be a hoot!
>>65309148
I’m sick of being called a christcuck for believing in ghosts. I’m not even religious. I don’t even think ghosts as we understand them are deceased people, for all we know they could be some form of energy or matter that we simply don’t understand yet
dont hurt my boy Stolas your dirty primate scum>>65289843the only correct and right thing to to is to visit them in the astral realm and ask them yourself.im certainly sure that, just like cats, owls have their astralic counterpart/body too.but dont be dismayed and demoralised if they appear racist towards you
>>65288437I'd domesticate them by feeding them fat "people"
>>65288833What grip is that? Looks highly comfy.
>>65311167Take your PROPAGANDA elsewhere, this is a RAT board!
>>65311398Traush Grip, was very comfy. I say was because I no longer own my Mister 73.
>>65288445False. Retards catch a glimpse of an owl at night and think it's an alien or demon.
>>65288474Gay fucking posts like this and the responses to them are why I just browse reddit now. At least they are upfront about their faggotry>OMG LE “WE”
>>65301542And then it rained at the invasion was over.
>>65311751
>>65312912>NOOOOO you can't have board-specific running gags! You can't just have fun and be silly online! NO FUN ALLOWED! N-NO FUN ALLOWED NOOHOOOOOGet cancer in your gaping faggot asshole, newfag. If you like reddit so much, then leave.
>>65311751begone foul r*dent enjoyer, I hope you get the black plague
>>65312457Only thing I miss about the early shift. Occasionally I'd step out of my truck while an owl was flying overhead. Barn owl pretty sure because they would let out shrieks instead of hoots.
>>65313820NTA but pest rodents and pet rodents are two very different things.
>>65312912>2016 election tourist>browsing reddit """now"""You have to go back
>>65288437My thick, throbbing daddy cock. Same way I would defeat aliens, dinosaurs, sasquatch, OP, OP's mom, twinks, milfs, MILF, ISIS, and Elvis Presley (zombie or normal). They all fall to the daddy dickings.
>>65314026Wrong- they *both* get kisses.https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gQc0yYHR988?feature=share
>>65295461my penis, I'm grabbing my penis
>>65297116No he flew on top of her armoire. >>65302210>Cajun ChickLike in Waterboy?One of my best friends is a dyke (more slightly butch) big time fashion photographer.
>>65288437excessive amounts of DDT
>>65288454>>65288673>>65289865>>65294051>every anon wants to fuck itBoth OP and I should've seen that coming, but you better hope you blindly find the right hole inside. Oh, and you'd better hope you blindly found a female because you're encountering what is basically a new species with no sample size to speak of to figure out average size and how big males are compared to females. Hell, you don't know whether the male or female is bigger, either.>>65300193>anthropornisTheres NO FUCKING WAY that's a real name and furries haven't made hundreds of jokes (and "art") about them.
>>65289496Makes too much sense because around that time is when /k/ started trooning out hardcore
>>65295461The detonator of my suicide vest
>>65295461That's just your average Australian pet.
>>65288678>Suddenly vanishingThis means those threads were made by one dedicated autist.
>>65319459So all the old fag culture was just one guy?
>>65323163>So it was all just one guy?Always has been. Only ever been you and me here. Face the wall.
>>65288465Kek I was about to find this. Thank you anon.
>>65289496Making shit up on 4chan of all places is funny but also not.>>65317620And when was that anon, I do not believe you are an oldfag.
>>65312912>outing yourself as a r*dditor nigger
>>65323424It's a super useful site to keep my varied bbc gooning tastes organized.
>>65304602It's something special seeing a picture you made shitfaced on rum and whiskey get reposted occasionally
>>65301542That scene scared the shit out of me when I was a kid, probably more than any other movie.
>>65312912Then you should stay there and not come back
>>65323450Dude, I don't know why but I can 100% empathize. They were goofy-ass aliens, but something about the scene was just so menacing I remember it really scaring me when I was young.
>>65323431>uses reddit>is a humongous faggotYep, the math checks out. Now go the fuck back there and stay there you waste of skin.
>>65288437tootsie pops, duh.
