>>65352902
I'm not a dindu that breaks into other people's homes.

>>65352923
I probably should’ve clarified, but I meant like stories where YOU have had someone break in and defended your home, anon.

>>65352902
I had a bitch-ass raccoon sneak into my house once.

>>65352940
>sneak
Good... good... think that.... He just came in on his own hehe..... hehe.... nobody helped... hehe.....

I had a rarted mexican roll up to my house asking for his package and he tried to barge inside but I shut the door in his face and he wiped out on my porch mom's spaghetti. He lost all his rizz and was never seen again

>>65352940
Same. It freaked me the fuck out when the monster under my bed started screeching and chittering. Mom beat my ass for breaking my bedside lamp :(

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>>65352902
Not home invasion
>Take infant daughter for walk around block
>Reach end of block, nice residential area
>Hear chains and look up, five shitbulls running at us full speed from across the street.
>Oh shit moment
>Grab daughter one handed
>Start back peddling.
I never carried my pistol for walks around the block, but bad juju feeling said grab it that day.

>>65353567
Try making friends with it? I'm friends with the monster under my bed.

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>>65353607
Wise decision.

>>65352902
Pretty well, took off with a TV.

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>>65352902
I was a cop.

I got a call one night for a reported home invasion. The homeowner was a known drug dealer and prostitute. She had been tied up by 4 local idiots trying to steal her stash. She only had 1 arm, so they had a difficult time keeping her restrained and she escaped and called 911. The 3 idiots who broke in were running down the road when we arrived while the 4th idiot was waiting in the getaway car. We could see one of the guys running had a handgun while we were chasing them on foot. They jumped in the car and the driver started to drive off, but my partner and I were directly in front of the car. My partner took 1 shot and hit the passenger front wheel (he was aiming at the driver's face). 2 more patrol cars arrived and started a pursuit while my partner and I ran back to our car. We caught up to the pursuit just in time to see them lose control due to the flat tire and crash into a field. The 4 idiots scattered in different directions. We found the guy with the handgun hiding in a barn, turns out it was an airsoft gun.

>>65353698
>was a cop
what the fuck happened

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>>65352902

>>65353827
Whatever company manufactured that door needs their balls collectively subjected to vise grips. Getting real tired of peoples' whole lives guarded by shit doors.

>>65353833
I think even with stronger glass, guy would've gotten in, even if it took a few seconds longer

>>65353825
Private sector offers way more money with half the danger.

>>65353847
All doors need steel bars or at minimum safety film. That is a victim door.

>>65352902
Once, two elderly couples walked in on me in my boxers watching TV because they got the address wrong to an open house. They must've been half senile.

>>65353881
You coulda made $600,000 anon

>>65353833
Don't forget people who invest in solid doors and have them flanked by big ass windows anyways.

>>65353899
Whore my ass out and bang each of them for $150,000? I guess if they offered...

>>65353847
that shit has a pretty large window, I have a window on my front door about wide enough if ALL THE GLASS was gone for someone to crawl through but it's double panel glass like the house windows and the door is sheets of steel on both sides, ALSO it's two doors, one glass/screen that would probably blunt the brick from going through, then the main door. All my exterior doors are double panel metal with a wooden door in the middle.

so if someone did the same thing it would punch a hole in the glass but then he'd have to physically remove almost the whole window, meanwhile I've retrieved a whole rifle and shot him from my stairs at a downward angle so I dont accidentally my neighbor

>>65352902
>home invasion stories
Not me, a coworker from Virginia. Nice girl, if a little intense. She was actually the getaway driver for some guys robbing a drug dealer but they wound up killing him and she got personally involved with the murder somehow, don't remember the details. When the cops started rolling them up they all snitched on each other, including her.
>How did that go
I think she got ten years or something like that. It was a while ago.

>>65353833
Speaking of vise grips, if you ever get a chance to shadow a locksmith doing house calls, watch how they deal with residential and commercial doors that they can't pick the locks on. I won't discuss the process here because security through obscurity is very much a thing but it takes 10-15 seconds and isn't noisy. If I was willing to smash your glass door though, I'd be only slightly less willing to smash your glass sliding door, or your glass window, or even your shitty garage door. Stop pretending that homes are like Fort Knox. Residential security features are to keep honest people honest. Even cameras don't matter if the wrong person is interested in breaking in, as the video showed.

>home invasion stories
ants invaded my kitchen last year

>>65352902
Rats infested my mom's house years ago. My uncle came over with a ton of traps and had a stakeout for a couple days to exterminate them all. Was kinda fun.

>>65353866
nta, but what’s your opinion on conceal carrying a 3” .357 magnum?

Was soaking in my bathtub about 3am, lights out, thinking about nothing, as one does.Thought I heard a noise, started listening. Second noise was definitely my basement door getting kicked in. Throw on some sport shorts without bothering to dry off. Grab my .357 and a flashlight, head to my back door. There is no inside access to my main floor from my basement. Meth-head either realized the stairs down there didn't go anywhere, or heard me stomping around to get my gun, he'd fucked off. Third fucking time I got a door kicked in, first time I was there, was sad I didn't get to body a thief. Called ADT first thing in the morning, now have actual security service.
I don't even love in a bad part of town, but thos town is now full of homeless people when it never used to be.

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>>65352902
Had a weird event as a kid, dont know every detail just what I picked up from seeing it
>wake up to commotion
>go into garage
>dad is lying down behind rear tire of his truck refusing to budge
>very fat white trash lady is in the driver's seat trying to back up and threatening to run him over
>insane shitshow screaming session going on, preteen boy me is terrified because wtf
I dont remember the outcome but apparently someone had come to repossess the truck and ran into the garage to steal it back somehow? Doesn't seem very legal but we didnt keep the truck.
Other story that's similarly bizarre and not understood
>have to call in sick to school so dad delivers 1 (one) bag of chips to school yearbook party that day that I was supposed to bring, think they were Lays classic or ruffle, sorry
>something happens and dad gets arrested at home later, felony charges for impersonating an officer?
>after-after that I wake up one morning to my mom screaming with her back against the front door, some other insane altercation is going on
>I'm calling 911 on shitty flip phone
>FBI team breaks in with a battering ram, point man aims a pistol at me
>no point calling 911 when the clearly labeled FBI team is here, toss the phone down in front of me
>entire 15 years of life flashes before my eyes as I realize Im a fucking retard and am about to get shot for seemingly throwing a bomb or something
>miraculously spared by my natural beauty
>mom gets cuffed immediately, entire house is ravaged, front door is broken but promised to be fixed (it wasnt)
>I spend an awkward hour with a cop talking about how school is going on the front lawn.
Apparently they thought my dad was a terrorist for some reason, nothing came of that. He is crazy and got stuck with the felony somehow but I have no idea how dropping off 1 bag of chips led to any of this.

>>65354338
Anon, I’m really sorry you had that experience growing up. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how much that had to mess with you. Through a recent series of events- in which you and your story are now a part of, you’ve helped me realize that though my own dad isn’t perfect, I need to try to be there for him a little more than I am. I believe in God (Jesus), and I’ve seen too many things like this to think it’s a coincidence. Today just had me thinking. I’m not sure how, but I gotta try to be there more for him. Though I’ll admit It’s hard for me to connect with him. It’s something I struggle with. I don’t hate my dad, man. He just has a certain way about him that can make it difficult for me to wanna be around him.

>>65354239
>nice girl
>got 10 years for felony murder
You have an interesting definition of nice.

>>65354263
Do it.

>Laying in bed watching tv at gfs house
>Beep beep beep
>Front door just opened
>Girlfriends mutt goes nuts as usual
>Door closes
>Someone coming over?
>No
>Wheres your gun?
>I don’t have a gun
>Bitch really? Fine
>Grab her bronzed baby booties off her dresser because it was the heaviest thing I could find inside 3 seconds
>Go down stairs
>Check doorbell cam after
>Teenagers tried to break in and chickened out when they heard the dog

>Different girlfriends house
>Navajo so of course she lives in a trailer
>Watching my Chiefies booty blast the Raiders
>Banging on door
>YO NENE GIVE ME MY DOG BACK
>The fuck?
>She opens the main door
>Its her old neighbor that got arrested for selling drugs out of his trailer
>Dog was left on the chain when they hauled him off and she took him in
>Dogs been living here two years now
>Were not giving him back
>Dude starts popping off and calls her a bitch
>Time for me to get involved
>Hes like 5’6” 140 skinny jean twink
>Kek get the fuck off my porch bitch
>Ok ok I got somethin for you motherfucker
>Yeah ok bud
>Fucks off
>Later that night laying in bed
>Sound of breaking glass
>This motherfucker
>Call the cops
>Grab the shotgun
>Banging on door
>Hes too small to break the door jam kek
>Unlock the dead bolt
>Starts to push his way in
>12 gauge barrel in his face
>GET OFF MY PORCH FAGGOT
>YO YO YO CHILL IM JUST TRYNA GET MY DOG BACK
>AINT YOUR DOG ANYMORE FAGGOT
>CHILL CHILL CHILL
>DONT FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
>Cops come
>BnE, Criminal Damage, Paraphernalia,
and Parole violation

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>>65353698
>She only had 1 arm, so they had a difficult time keeping her restrained

>>65355139
>he doesnt amputate and cover himself in lube so he can wiggle out of any confinement like a slug
Ngmi

not really. i found a junkie (i guess) sleeping in the passageway outside my flat. called the cops to get rid of him.

a similar, more memorable case:
>a morning before Christmas, packing before leaving for my family's place
>hear noises behind my door, like a mid-sized animal moving there
>it's a woman
>kinda dirty, but not like a hobo. reminded me of Beatrix Kiddo when she rose from the grave.
>she's disoriented and i am confused what to do
>says she's fine, just needs a moment to get her shit together
>i'm too suspicious to invite her in, but too sympathetic to just kick her out
>end up sitting together for half an hour on my doorstep and talking
>from what i'd gathered she was a literal schizo or something, didn't quite recall the last night
>end up walking her to the tram station after she assured me she was alright and able to find her way home

One time I stayed at a friend's house and we went to a music festival the next day and he got mad cause we didn't wanna go to his favorite pizza place so he went home locked the door and did a bunch of coke with his gf and passed out after so I showed up to get my shit and he wouldn't wake up so I broke in through the kitchen window and pissed all over his dishes then got my shit and went home.

>>65355709
Your definition of friendship is very odd.

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>>65355139
Her name was Desiree. Her left arm was amputated just below the elbow after a car accident. Legend has it that she would use the nub to fist guys who were willing to pay.

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Just get some safety film to put over your windows, dudes.
Not only for intruders but will stop debris from storms as well.

>>65352902
sure but they had it coming

>>65353597
The thing that always amazes me about shit bull attacks is how quickly the fight goes out of them when a bullet goes in. One minute they're snarling like Satan's own favorites, trying to rip you (or your dog) to shreds, the next they're screaming and shrieking like they think someone should feel bad. One of the only animals on Earth that does this are faggot vicious dogs that think some kid or a cat is a free snack.

>>65354307
You live in a bad area if it's not an area where cops respond to homeless meth-heads by beating the shit out of them and dumping them outside of town.

>>65354263
I carried one of the s&w 66 2.75 barrel guns for a while and it’s surprisingly comfy

>>65352902
>>65352940

>be me, 8 or so years old
>have a sweet tree house that Dad built
>climb ladder up to it one day and go inside
>huge possum inside and it hisses at me
>shitpants.exe
>climb back down, run to house and tell Mom
>Dad's at work, can't help
>Mom calls friend
>friend has a family member in town who is away on leave from the Army
>he comes over, climbs into the tree house and shoots the invader

It was a close call bros.

>Be rural cop
>Called to shooting one time
>Retarded methhead broke into some farmer’s house with a knife
>Ranting about how Putin was trying to kill him and other insane bullshit
>Farmer told him to fuck off but he wouldn’t leave
>Shot him in the foot with a .22
>Dipshit then left and we arrested him outside

I guess technically a success from the homeowner’s perspective, and obviously justified, but I wished he just used a 12GA and actually blasted the skid instead.

>>65356523
Was that the name of the street worker, or the street car?

>>65352902
Not home, but a few from work.

>Be me. Hospital A&E security.
>Have security alert at front desk about known hazard trying to get in the building.
>He's not allowed in because he's a known violence risk, and we suspect he'll be dangerous both to the staff, and one of the patients inside (his ex).
>Go around all the exits and entrances to secure them.

>Later on in shift, see him on cameras skulking around the service entrances around A&E where people SHOULDN'T BE.
>Leave post and cross car park to him because don't want him sneaking in through a window, if I missed any.
>Ask him what he's doing.
"Nuffin' bad cuzz. Nuffin' bad."
>Tell him he shouldn't be skulking around there.
"I need tah get insoide."
>Ask why he's not going through the entrances.
"Dah fuckin doors were closed! Dey wouldn' let me een!"
>Eventually just tell him he's not going in.
>He throws a bitchfit about how it' 'his right' to see 'his girl'.
>Tell him it's abso-fucking-lutely not a right. You've only a right to enter a hospital if you're a patient, and he isn't. Hospital specifically, in fact, doesn't want to let him inside unless he's literally dying.
>Don't bother telling him that by our measure, he's a violent hazard to her, and she's not his girl.
>Tell him to fuck off.
"Nah nah mate! I'm goin' inside! See mah mate!"
>"Are not."
>"Are too!"
>"Are not."
>"Are too!"

>Eventually just tell him that he ain't going inside. If he tries to force his way in, I'll pick him up and carry him back outside.
>And if he tries to fight me, I'll do a bunch of things to him, ending with his skull against the curb outside, where we were standing.
>He can fuck off now. Or be fucked off by the cops and a trespass order.
>Fucks off by himself.

Always a huge pain when healthy people think they have a right to be in an emergency ward because they have some relation to a patient in there. Forget they might not want to be seen, or be harmed by the incomer, or the incomer may be disruptive as shit.

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>>65353607
>Try making friends with it? I'm friends with the monster under my bed.
There are monsters and there are monsters, some of them are alright.
Especially when they get to know your situation.

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>>65356549
>Just get some safety film to put over your windows, dudes.
I was working in an apartment the other day that was inside the blast zone for a ballistic missile impact, windows all blown in etc.
The bathroom door was this smokey glass stuff and it was clearly safety glass because it was totally shattered and splintered but there was a layer of film on both sides that held it in place, so the entire door had become like a flexible sheet of opaque plastic.
I think it was basically like a car windscreen and although it was destroyed, it broke in a way that held it all together and made it much safer than it would have been.
The doorframe was also completely intact because the door had absorbed all the pressure wave by shattering.

>>65358148
I thought that ballistic missiles were for legitimate military targets. Were the Ukies stockpiling Boris Johnsons inside that house?

>>65358164
>I thought that ballistic missiles were for legitimate military targets.
Tell it to Russia.
They seem to be hoping for shock&awe from city residents with broken windows.

>>65358148
damn
at least you won't be out of a job any time soon

>>65357911
Keked and checked my literate friend

>>65354506
She was always nice to me.

>>65353597
had a dog attack fatality in my neighborhood and I am no shit going to pop the next one I see run up into my yard.
don't hesitate if it's shy and runs away from you because the ones that killed were like that untill there was more than 6 of them.

>>65352902
>live rural
>neighbour lives across the road with no one else around
>hear smashing glass from that direction at 3am
>fucked up my back and shoulders a couple of days before
>remember the neighbours go down to the bakery early on Sunday
>their kids are alone
>all pain just fades into the background
>sprint over and see a torch swinging around
>see a pile of pavers the neighbours were digging up
>door is broken open
>burst in with pavers under one arm
>hear boongs jabbering away
>get blinded by torch
>manage a grazing shot to the side of the head
>second one drops their torch and lights up the hallway
>throw and hit her right in the clavicle and break something
>just pelt the fuck out of them with the other two pavers
>the man has a prybar and is trying to get up
>stop the fuck out of him
>kids didn't even wake up until my first throw sent a paver through a glass cabinet
>cops turn up 15 minutes later
>go over to my place and make a cuppa while giving a statement
>realise while looking around that I completely forgot my rifle

Turned out to be a husband and wife who started squatting in a house for sale and decided to rob the whole area, as they had done twice before in other areas. The pair got a 3 month suspended sentence and were STILL allowed to squat in that house for another 30 days, during which time they filled the toilet with shit, let their 6 dogs shit and piss inside, tore the oven out of the wall and slashed all the carpet and lino. I had a very tense meeting with the crown prosecution where they tried to get me to admit the husband dropped the prybar, or that the wife identified herself, or that I used the dropped torch to blind them before throwing the pavers, or that I used my rifle to threaten them, then left them unattended to go lock it back up, or that I was racist and did it because I hated boongs.

If I had used my rifle, even as a threat, at worst I'd be in prison, and at best I'd have my license revoked and guns seized.

Closest I have is a socioeconomic factor try to fish in my pond after being told no. They saw me coming on the four wheeler and immediately started packing back up

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>>65353698
Thats pretty messed up to attack an unarmed woman

>>65353833
In a modern society and in a nice neighborhood people hardly bother to lock their doors. And that’s how it should be.

>>65358004
Fellow security fag. Got plenty of stories of homeless invaders
>be security for 2 building office complex
>cruising around on golf cart at 3am, night shift because fuck my life
>pass by the space between the buildings, a little outdoor eating area with trees and shrubs
>get a huge hit of cigarette smoke and BO
>do a few more laps around and keep smelling it in the same place
>knew all the cleaners were gone so nobody should be smoking out here
>hop off cart with huge metal flashlight and poke around
>literally follow my nose like a hound dog
>start from one end and make my way to other side
>when I emerged from the bushes I see a homeless guy casually strolling away
>literally like a cartoon character nonchalantly whistle and pretending nothing is wrong
>Kek at his audacity and get back to work
Night shift security is something else

>>65357088
wounding shots only happen because the guy defending himself really really really wants to avoid getting made an example out of if he gets dragged to court but the truth is nobody fucking has a right to a wounding shot and they'll rape you into bullshit charges either way.

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>>65352902
>be me as a kid, 7 or 8 years old
>living in ground floor apartment, pretty nice neighborhood
>home alone due to stomach bug
>about 9AM in the morning
>sitting on the shitter
>disheveled junkie starts trying (and failing) to climb in through the half-open window
>freak out and scream incoherently
>junkie mumbles something about people owing him money hiding in my apartment
>yell at him that there's no such person here
>yell at him to fuck off
>he doesn't
>jump off the shitter
>arm myself with closest object (toilet brush, LOL)
>jab junkie in the face with toilet brush as hard as I can
>pretty sure I hit him in the eye at least once
>junkie retreats
>slam window shut and lock it
>run to the phone and call the cops
>hear junkie yelling and screaming death threats outside, doesn't try to smash his way in for some reason
>cops show up like 20minutes later (nearest police station was only 5 minutes away)
>junkie gets arrested
>cops just drive away
>family arrives back in the afternoon
>tell them what happened
>they don't believe me
>cops don't show up again until like 8pm and they only want to speak to my parents and ask them to sign some papers
Never really found out what happened to the junkie.
Parents keep acting like it wasn't a big deal and that I was just a drama queen for finding it traumatic.
Basically tell me to just "grow up and get over it" as if that's reasonable to expect of an 8 year old kid.

>>65358429
Probably gave that guy double pink eye

>>65358440
Considering that the brush had a pretty stiff finger-sized plastic rod at the center of it, I probably fucked him up worse than that.
Wouldn't be surprised if he ended up half-blind in at least one eye.

>>65358429
>Parents keep acting like it wasn't a big deal and that I was just a drama queen for finding it traumatic
they were definitely embarrassed for not believing you

i've got a funny one

>sitting in living room with my gf of 8 years
>chilling on the couch at about 11pm
>watching tv, being cozy
>all of the sudden hear loud ass banging on the door, slower cadence; I can tell it's not someone knocking by hand
>Im absolutely certain someone is kicking the door based on the pace of the banging
>my heart starts racing, it's fucking go time
>my 10.5 AR was beside me because I cleaned it earlier and have no kids so I just left it laying there after I was done
>pick it up, take a knee behind the coffee table and brace it on table
>literally waiting for someone to come through at any moment
>after about 1-2 minutes it just stops
>???
>stay aimed at the door and whisper to gf to check the driveway camera

it was a neighborhood cat slamming itself into the door repeatedly, backing up and giving itself about 4-6 feet run up for max speed kek. Im guessing it knew we had 2 of our own cats inside because we had french doors and raise the blinds enough for our cats to look outside most of the day.

>>65356585
Yeah, one went down and started screaming. Two immediately shat themselves and started howling. I didn't even touch those two. Two ran off..animal control eventually caught one of the other ones. Thankfully it attacked animal.control as they were capturing it.
>>65358250
Hit it with your car if you drive a larger vehicle and won't damage your vehicle. You won't get any investigation for firearms discharge.

>>65358659
>Hit it with your car
I actually got blamed for hitting a guys dog and he showed up to my work and was telling everyone in the office he was going to attack me.
the guy lives like 8 miles out of my way and I don't know what the fuck he was talking about.

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>>65354263
Not him, but it seems pretty workable. Won't be AS loud and blasty as a true .357 snub, while being a hair easier to carry than an already handy and well balanced 4" barreled revolver.
You go for something like the S&W 686+ (which is available in 3"), you can have a fabled 7rds of .357, which seems pretty good.

>>65358730
>the guy lives like 8 miles out of my way and I don't know what the fuck he was talking about.
That sounds like drugs or/and mental illness (he might not even have had a dog to begin with). Those sorts of people happen sometimes. Sometimes they're also dangerous, so that's a reason to be strapped.

>>65358262
You make it sound like the prosecutor was still somehow a worse human being than those squatters.

>>65358262
I really dont understand squatting rights in the US, its so fucking strange

>>65359185
>"in the US"
>crown prosecution
>[gun] license
>"boongs"
>US
??????

>>65359185
>Torch
>Crown
>License

I don't think that story took place in the US

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>>65358276

>>65357911

Thank you both for the sensible chuckle.

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>>65359129
As a prosecutor myself, perhaps he was. Faggots who use the government against people simply defending themselves and their homes from feral junkie hominids deserve no respect at all. At least a junkie’s free will has probably been compromised by his chemical dependency, and perhaps defunct from the beginning due to his upbringing (or his genes if we’re being frank about some instances). A libtard prosecutor has no such excuse. He is almost certainly of above average intelligence and self-control, and for him to side against the legitimate occupant of the home is utterly inexcusable.

One of my co-workers found a methoid under his house once.

>>65353900
Real glass has the potentiality to gravely injure the wrongdoer and I’m glad movies have portrayed sheetglass as safe as to make a window-entry appeal to said wrongdoers.

>>65356523
>Legend has it that she would use the nub to fist guys who were willing to pay
Haha how much did they have to pay for that?

>>65358339
you should have the right to do anything you want to a violent trespasser

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>>65360252
About tree fiddy

>>65353607
No cause he was a dickhead. I did have a coon army when i lived in the city. Fed them pizza.

>>65354338
>>65354405
Oh shit anons is this how my daughter sees me?

>>65358313
Kek ive had similair encounters when i worked security. Last winter during the snowstorm i found a huge fat nigger sleeping under some pipes n shit so i woke him up. He couldnt get out and i couldnt pull him so i tied a rope to him and used the cart to drag him out. He had shidded and pissed his pants and on my morning patrol i found frozen poopies where i found him. There was also a negress cleaner who smoked crack IN THE BUILDING and had a bunch of rascist crap doodled all over her car windows. She tried to hit on me and then called me a nigger when i laughed at her. Sometimes i miss that job.

>>65358730
>Going to attack you
How did your work handle that?
>>65358841
>so that's a reason to be strapped.
Stay strapped or get clapped. I carry everytime I got outside my door now.

>>65360245
The videos of people punching out windows in anger or attempt to break in, then pleading with the person they just assaulted or threatened to save them are always goodies.

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I have nightly miscreants trespassing. I have booby-trapped key ingress and passage points. I have set up cheap night cameras and infrared lights to illuminate without alerting them. They're wicked smart and avoid all traps. I have found most success by leaving desirables in a corner, pointing a camera at it and waiting. Then I confront and get physical. They usually survive but sometimes something important ruptures.

I have detained 4 so far and further two didn't survive their encounter with me.

>>65360445
>mice
>smart
This doesn’t speak highly of your relative intelligence anon

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>>65360473
They take the long way instead of the glue traps. After repositioning the traps, they avoid them again. I've recorded them coming to a trap, bacon on the other side of it, then them backing up. They're smart for what they are.

There's just one of them left now. I will add her to my collection.

>>65360379
wtf kek. I’m still in the security business until I finish school, but no longer nights. Another good story…
>working at a different building near highway and desert
>under construction so supplies n shit everywhere
>doing my hourly lap around the exterior
>building is locked so working out of my car
>turn the corner for the last straight away back to my car
>im halfway across the huge parking lot when I notice a huge black homeless dude with blankets wrapped around himself(AZ winter is pretty cold for a desert)
>somehow I didn’t see him walk across an empty lot until he was pretty close
>shit pants but don’t want to run, he’s not quite on my ass and I’m not 100% sure he’s coming for me, just hobbling in my general direction
>speed walk back to my car where my personal gun is stashed
>I jump in my car and look back
>he jumps in the port a potty
>didn’t actually care about me, just wanted a shit apparently
>give him 20 minutes then tell him to fuck off
>he eventually does
Definitely learned to watch my back after that night

>>65358429
This is why I have a bathroom gun in a sealed container

>>65358627
Kek must have been some crazy adrenaline

>>65356842
>shooting an opossum
For what purpose?

>>65360614
it was working with the otter

>>65360473
NTA but I have problems with mice who seem very good at avoiding traps as well. What do you recommend? I have a dog and a toddler and am not at liberty to just throw poison everywhere in my house, unfortunately.

>>65363142
Bucket, rolling bar, peanut butter, water (optional)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5Qk8W5uf-Dw&pp=ygUeTW91c2V0cmFwIG1vbmRheSByb2xsZXIgYnVja2V0&ra=m

>>65360492
>smart
They can smell the things you’ve touched. Wear gloves. Anything new to them will cause them to be cautious. Set shit and leave it. And glue traps are inhumane and more importantly surprisingly ineffective, even for dumb little squeakers. Use snaptraps if the liberals haven’t banned them for being too scary yet.
If you want more ideas watch Shawn Woods

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>>65363142
what they don't tell you is that using snap traps (assuming it's the wooden victor ones) takes a bit of skill.

first step is find out where they go. Look for turds, chewed stuff. That's where the traps need to go. Areas with pipes going through walls, cupboards at floor level, etc. The baited part of the trap should always face a wall or some other barrier, so the mice are funneled into it (they like to walk along walls).

Then the baiting part. You need to force some sort of bait inside of the metal tube bit of the trigger. It's curled over on purpose to make that tube. The dumbass mice will bite and tug on it in order to get the peanut butter they can't lick. Peanut butter that had the oil separated out of it is best for this as its harder and not easy to lick

finally, these traps are way too insensitive out of the factory and need to be modified. You just use your fingers or a pair of pliers to very slightly bend the trigger mechanism to the left. You get a hair trigger that goes off the moment a mouse touches the trigger. If it won't set anymore because you bent it too much like a dumbass, just bend it a little to the right. You want it to be sensitive enough that when you barely touch the trigger with a ballpoint pen or something, it triggers, but still easy enough to set in your hand then place without it going off

When these steps are followed, these traps become the best mouse killing device there is, outside of something like a bucket trap, but those aren't always practical.

>>65353698
>My partner took 1 shot and hit the passenger front wheel (he was aiming at the driver's face)
thats how i know your story was real and you were actually a cop

>>65354807
>bronzed baby booties
what is this?.

>>65354807
well your woman fucking stole his dog youre the asshole in this how do you not understand?

>>65352902
>strung out junkie breaks into my garage around 11pm
>I kick the shit out of him and toss him in the nearby bushes
not much of a story

>>65363142
NTA but Shawn Woods. Use copper plated Victor traps, not the yellow plastic cheese ones. Wrap triggers with a narrow strip of cheesecloth, make the bundle under the size of a dime and keep it away from the "sear" surface on the trigger. Get some peanut butter, ideally mildly warm. Smear it into the bundle and saturate it. Again no bigger than maybe dime sized, but light enough to not set the trigger off. Keep the bottom absolutely flat and not fat. Tie the cheesecloth on with thin thread, thin cotton string, or maybe some braided fishing line if they're real pains in the ass. Secure the trap or stick it down. Put trap trigger side against wall. Either they have to interact with it or they step on it accidentally. Also put behind furniture or in corners. Wear nitrile gloves the whole time from unpacking the trap to setup because muh scent control. IDK if it does anything, seems like it might, but it's just common sense as a trapper. Even in your house, I think the mice can smell that you interacted with something recently and get a little freaked out. Unfamiliar and newly appeared things (the trap) also freak out wild animals but give it a few days and they get curious when it's been there and it's old news.

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>>65363142
And yes unironically wood > that new polymer crap seriously those new chip clip clothespin plastic ones are ass. Plastic sears that don't want to stay set, etc. The pricier plastic ones with CO2, sure. But the cheap wood Victors (specifically Victor) are the shit. Still US made AFAIK in PA. They just work unlike the Chinese imports that need fiddling with which end up being about the same price as good Victors. Trust me.

>>65360445
>>65360492

If you like fishing, live mice are fantastic largemouth bass bait.
Use a double pronged frog hook, and fix the mouse to the hook with a rubber band or some braid.
Toss the furry shit out with no sinker and let it thrash a bit, then begin a slow retrieve. If there's a good sized bass, you'll know it and quick.
Bass love mice.

>>65352902
Not a home invasion, but a trespasser:

>be me, living in Vancouver
>wake up one morning, hear rustling sound on back deck
>look out window, there is a crackhead/methhead looking through things
>assess situation
>fuck calling the cops, I will deal with this
>decide upon which weapon to use
>there were some rifles and shotguns in the house, didn’t feel like letting some tweaker know I had guns in my home in case of a B&E by him or his friends
>opt out of using a sword because Vancouver is a hotspot for HIV and Hep in Canada
>decide upon a steel mace, because HEMA is fun
>put on underwear and pair of ugly winterized steel toed rubber boots
>open door to back deck, holding mace
>”can I help you?”
>”Im just lookin round”
>”get the fuck off my property!”
>junkie bolts
>I run after him, mace held in both hands above my shoulder
>chase him for two blocks “hey I want to talk to you” while also laughing because adrenaline
>let him escape because I didn’t want a murder or assault with a deadly weapon charge resulting in me losing my PAL

It was honestly pretty fun, I was fucking pumped up, exciting stuff

>>65353881
I live in a building where more than half the flats are Airbnbs, and this happens like once a month and mostly at 3 am when drunk aggressive tourists come back and don’t remember where they’re staying. The first time it happened I was already standing in my hallway with a gun because I was 100% sure I was being robbed

>>65358429
I keked

>>65364573
>Vancouver
>crack head
No surprise there. Also, congrats on becoming a tweaker urban legend

>>65363230
>They can smell the things you’ve touched. Wear gloves.
Nigger, EVERYTHING smells like me in here.
>And glue traps are inhumane
I just need them to be held until I get to them. Trying for a lazier solution that doesn't involve my diving like a soccer goalie in the night.
>Use snaptraps
Then I have a mouse on my hands that died quickly and what's the point. They do work great through.

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>>65363283
>When these steps are followed, these traps become the best mouse killing device there is, outside of something like a bucket trap, but those aren't always practical
Oh yea they've also avoided bucket traps and oil traps I've tried.

>>65352902
A friend of mine found a thief in his kitchen at night and shot him in the ass with a BB gun. The thief ran away and he didnt call the cops as nothing was stolen.
This was in western Europe circa 2005, so a less violent environment compared to now.

>>65359615
>>65359506
Fuck me, thanks.
Thats what i get for skimming through a post while taking a shit, i guess

>>65358627
Based 8-year-old gf enjoyer.

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WANNA FUCK!?

>>65354239
My Sgt was a locksmith and he was like the squad ninja.

>>65358250
I worked in some of those shittiest cities and never once was threatened by a pitbull or dog.there was one who wouldn’t let us in but the fugitive was on the second floor and we just called the FD.

>>65358148
Have you been in many close calls with Ruskies?

>>65366296
Only real OGs know this store. Good reference, anon.

>>65366296
:)

>>65360419
he showed up when I was out and I saw him as he was leaving and yelled at me in the parking lot, I think somebody already gave him my alabi but that didn't stop him from raising a bunch of shit at me about it.
>>65358841
>That sounds like drugs or/and mental illness
guy was a preacher.
truthfully I believe he talked to this deranged faggot ex deputy on my street that doesn't like me and he just told him I probably did it.

>>65352902
>be me
>8 year old
>have autism
>have a parakeet
>train parakeet to respond aggressively when i make a yee yee yee yee sound
>live in a Soviet condo
>everyone is always visiting each other
>home alone
>door unlocked
>drunk neighbor (let's call him Juan) mixes up the floors
>open the door to my lil apartment
>scary big man making weird mooing noises
>oh shit
>start yelling yee yee yee yee
>parakeet zooms past my head and viciously attacks poor Juan's face
>the guy rushes downstairs screaming bloody murder
>i chase him screaming yee yee yee yee
>parakeet escapes through the stairwell window
>i chase the parakeet
>mom comes back with groceries, finds the apartment door open and me crying retard tears because the bird is gone
>home invasion repelled
>casualties: 2 (Juan, my birb)
after all these years... it doesn't feel like victory at all, anon.

>>65368190
>truthfully I believe he talked to this deranged faggot ex deputy on my street that doesn't like me
Oh gay lover's quarrel. Knew there was more to the story.

>>65360614
I don't think any of us realized we could just pick the thing up by the tail and carry it off.

>>65368458
he hates me because he thinks i boinked his daughter because we were hanging out less than a year before she got knocked up

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>>65363743
>>65353698
I'm glad you appreciate the honesty.

>>65356585
>The thing that always amazes me about shit bull attacks is how quickly the fight goes out of them when a bullet goes in
That applies to any animal not hopped up on coke. Even being punched in the stomach hard enough will take the wind out of most people.

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>>65370571
>>65370658
Back in 2009-2010 when I was a rookie, I shot a pit bull. We got called to a trailer park for a dog attack. A 9 year old boy had been bitten multiple times on the face and arms and was being air lifted. The dog had been secured in a trailer before we arrived. My partner and I walked inside. The dog was standing in the back bedroom, still covered in blood. I didn't give her a chance, I shot her as soon as I opened the door. I have no regrets.

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>>65370866
I love dogs, but when one goes mental like that, it's a wild and dangerous predator on a rampage, and you gotta do what needs to be done. Once it's attacked someone, it's only a matter of time until they do it again if you let it live.

It's actually sad with pitbulls, a cruel existence, because they're still dogs and you can see a lot of that loyalty and sweetness in them like other dogs, but they are also bred so fucked that they always have that unpredictable monster lurking underneath the surface. It's always there, and just waiting for whatever it will be that makes their brains go ape.

>>65370866
Based. Question- is your hearing damaged from being an officer? I assume you guys don’t/can’t wear ear protection for obvious reasons.

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>>65368411
I’m sorry you lost your friend, fren.

>>65353597
I used to jog around my neighborhood with the pocket carry. The one time I didn't my neighbors shit ass dog almost bit my left nut off. Still got me in the thigh. I kicked that fucker as hard as I could and the neighbor came out bitching at me like I'm the problem. Went to the hospital, just wanted to make sure I didn't have dog AIDS and move on with life. Hospital was a mandatory reporter for dog bites and the city took his dog and killed it kek. Dude is now in prison for kidnapping someone.

>>65372166
Kino

>>65366296
Kek thanks for the memory

>>65372166
>Dude is now in prison for kidnapping someone.
I love a happy ending.

>>65372134
Yes. My left ear is completely shot. Tinnitus is a bitch. We wear ear protection on the range, but in real life situations you don't have time. The sirens are what really fuck you up though.

>>65353847
>even if it took a few seconds longer
Few seconds longer to grab a gun

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>>65352902
Me and the droogs stack up on a soft civilian residence at night. No NVGs, no plates, no suppressed MP5s—just canes, chains, and pure 1960s British ultraviolence. We don't bother with a proper breach; just force the door like a bunch of shitbirds who watched too many old war movies and decided "stealth is for fags."
Inside it's classic soft target CQB. Writer-tier civilian gets the first contact. Me n the boys immediately go hands-on, beat the brakes off the old man, and put him on the floor. No restraint, no flex-cuffs, just pure kinetic neutralization. The droogs treat the living room like a kill house with zero ROE.
Then me switches to the secondary objective. While the rest of the team holds security on the neutralized male, we does the full theatrical entry: cane as a prop weapon, singing "Singin' in the Rain" like he's on stage at the Apollo instead of committing a home invasion. Me puts the wife through the classic ultra-violence sequence while the husband is forced to watch from the floor. The whole thing is pure psychological warfare layered on top of the physical assault—complete with the smiling, dancing, performance-art sadism that made the scene infamous.
No firearms, no modern kit, no medic, no QRF. Just four young operators in bowler hats and codpieces running pure chaos doctrine on an unarmed civilian couple. Classic example of what happens when you give a bunch of bored, violent kids free rein with zero adult supervision and a complete disregard for the Geneva Conventions (or any conventions).

>>65354338
>very fat white trash
>lady
choose one

>>65372892
Nice, anon.
Seriously, though, I would have loved for clockwork orange to end with Alex not jumping out of a window and surviving, but having some Saw-type opportunity to torture himself to death to escape Beethoven while the writer cried at the beauty of it all.

>>65373848
The novel's ending was better and feels like a more realistic outcome; Alex just growing up.

>>65352902
I don't live in the turd world so no

>>65360614
It violated the NAP.

>>65352902
Not me personally but I remember dropping a check off to my landlord, and his face was all fucked up. I asked what happened and he said 3 guys broke into his house, tied up his daughter, his wife, him, and shot his old dog. They tried breaking in to his gun safe, which I remember him telling me broke weeks prior, and they beat the fuck out of him thinking he was lying to them. He said they kept putting their gun up to the head of his 7 month old granddaughter as well. They gave up on the guns and ended up leaving with a single Rolex, a couple earrings, some blank checks for a closed checking account and just under 200 in cash. I don’t think they ever caught the guys either.

>>65372846
>The sirens are what really fuck you up though.

IDGI

Can't you put on basic home improvement earpro before you turn on the siren? Also, improv sound absorbing padding on the cruiser roof might help.