What is the point of owning all your guns if ninjas can slit your throat in your sleep?Do you even have a contingency plan for night time stealth attacks?
The dog wakes you. The ninjas die. The dogs eat them.
>>65447926All it takes is one piece of cheap salami to disable your dog. Check mate.
>>65447920Heh. My DÅsatsugan sharingan will detect the ninja movements.
>>65447928LOLNO. Dogs can be smart as fuck, its very easy to train them not to fall for that shit. Also, do you think that worked up dog, in the middle of the night, will suddenly switch to "sleep mode" cause some ENEMY (dog logic: middle of night is sentry mode, unknown person enters, smell unknown = 100% is enemy) throws a bit of salty paprica filled meat?
>>65447928The dog wakes you before the ninjas are within salami range. And they only eat what you tell them to eat, in this case, dead ninjas. Doggie Door Dash. Thanks, larper-san!
>>65447920>shift around a little to get more comfortable >apply shotgun directly to forehead
I dream about killing ninjas
I'm awake during the night to catch them coming, obviously. Everyone knows ninjas can't go in the sun after they were cursed by god to drink blood.
>>65447920I sleep in shifts with my roommate, whom I trust completely. We made a blood pact to establish a scared brotherhood many years ago.>no homo though after that first time
>>65447937I'd probably happen so often that you'd get used to it, and just start holding the shotgun to your chest at night.
>>65447937Yeah I shift around alot in my sleep, that shit would be flying out regularly
>>65447920I lock my doors and windows. Checkmate ninjatheists. That does look rad as hell though I wanna do that headboard thing too.
>>65447938TND
>>65448009Leave the door key in the headboard.
>>65448041That's ingenious
>>65447920Ninjas isn't real you dumba
>>65447920https://m.economictimes.com/news/new-updates/18-year-old-son-jumps-off-a-cliff-after-parents-refused-to-buy-him-an-iphone-father-and-mother-die-trying-to-save-him/amp_articleshow/133418782.cmsWhy live without the consumer goods of your more prosperous rivals?
That gun will likely end up being used during traumatic flashbacks or marital arguments. It is a terrifying ninja ploy.
>>65448062What do you do when playing Ninja Warriors with your wife and shit gets out of hand?
>>65447920>fire warning shot at ninjas in your bedroom>go right back to sleep
>>65447920You know how the best way to win a fight is not to get into a fight? I don't fuck with ninjas or people who can hire ninjas. Literally anything else is going to wake my geese and they will have a directional alert system following and biting them while I get into a good shooting position. Yes, my geese will die, but they know only war and their hearts are full of hate, so I imagine they long for death.
>>65448102Anyone who knows anything knows that ninjas will break off their mission if they're spotted, and will at most return the following night.
>>654479282 of my last 3 dogs would rather bite an intruder than eat the most delicious thing imaginable. Violence first for heelers.
>>65448103>I don't fuck with ninjas or people who can hire ninjasThis. Avoiding ninja's and ninja-adjacent people is the secret to a long life.
>>65448309And that 1/3 dog? What was his deal?
>>65447920>the melaninated "ninjas" show up in packs of 3 or more>the melaninated "ninjas" steal your dog to use as a chew toy for their pit bulls>the melaninated "ninjas" believe that they are "gangsta" and will most likely try to kill you, ensuring a lethal confrontation >bonus round: if you live in a blue state you will be made into the racist villain for legally owning and using a gun to protect yourself>the melaninated "ninjas" were good boys just pulling a tiktok prank>the melaninated "ninjas" were just jogging through your living room>the melaninated "ninjas" were innocent little children who were raised in the ghetto and didn't know any better >meanwhile you are the rabid racist gun nut just looking for a reason to murder sweet innocent melaninated "ninjas" and your voting record proves this
>>65447920I'm just imagining railing some girl, her head bumps the head board and my shotgun falls on her face
>>65447920How did they get past my layered air defense?
My constant, brutal, nocturnal farting turns my room into a total no-go zone for any living being requiring oxygen. They can't even approach me.
>>65448373all of this flyover headcanon lol. this dude probably thinks the knockout game is real.
>>65448373You forgot:>The ninjas volunteered with autistic children >>65448756>this dude probably thinks the knockout game is real.There are tons of videos of it faggot.>>65447926Any good assassin would poison your dog a few weeks before trying to kill you. Fortunately those sorts are pretty rare.
>>65448922He can't get close enough to my dog to poison it.
>>65448373>Urban ninjas secretly studying the arts of engineering and medicine
>>65447920I wake up the next morning to find the ninja impaled in the spike pit under the fake floor. I laugh at him before taking his lame sword to use as a letter opener.
>>65447920I balance an empty beer bottle on the door knob before going to bed.
>>65447937>it goes off and domes the lady
>>65448102Youtube would demonetize/strike him if he showed or described someone getting their chest ripped open. That's why he said 'after it's used' and not 'after you send those niggers back where they came from.'
>>65449126Ninjas are masters of all style of combat, they have all kinds of ranged systems for delivering poisoned salamis to (you)r (dog)'s food bowl
>>65447920Zach appeals to Indians
>>65447920I hate ninjas
>>65448060Truly an hero!
>>65447920>fire shotgun inside while in bedthe only thing you win is deafness
>>65449388If I were deaf I wouldn't be woken up constantly by the pitter patter of home invaders.
>>65447928I dunno about you anon but offering my dog food in the middle of the night is not going to make her quieter
>>65449388>Needs a silencer>Not a lounder to make sure the cracker ninjas know your armed and to wake up the neighbors too.
>>65447920>railing girl hardcore style in bed>"oh anon, I'm about to cum dont stop">presses her hands against the headboard for leverage>10 lb gun crashes down on top of her, nearly concussing her on impact>"AIEEEEEE ANON WHAT IS THAT WHY IS THAT THERE">immediately terror and shame for sleeping with a psychopath kicks in, she runs out the front door without her clothes, sobbing>she still hasn't called me back>"at least the ninjas didnt get the jump on me," I thought to myself outloud
>>65449333>your lawyers claim the bed did it
>>65447920At that range the shotgun pattern won't even open up so it'd be better to have a semi auto rifle or even a pistol
>>65449333Why would they send lady ninjas?
>>65450411Lady ninjas can get close where male ninjas can't, once up close she can unleash a dizzying array of lethal tools like knives, poison needles, throwing stars, blunt instruments, ninjitsu, and putting a sword inside your bed's headboard so when you try to open it later the sword falls down and decapitates you.>>65450321Imagine if the lady here was a ninja, she'd be able to climax and kill you at the same time, and that's just how lady ninjas like it.
>>65450308Nothing short of a 45mm Colt Koch would suffice.
>>65450411So I can block their attacks with my junk
>>65449333>it goes off and domes the lady...and that's why my client should be acquitted, your honor.
>>65450321>sam.carter.pngI remember /k/'s favourite SBR enthusiast differently.
>>65449388what a beautiful looking gun>that hint of copper between gun and silencer>nice wooden gripmm
>>65450732
>>65447928Nah, my dog eats it in one bite, the sound of barking never ends. THEY ARE INSIDE WITH US! THEY WILL NEVER GET AWAY! THE BARKING WON'T END!
>>65447920*pic relWhat if I sleep on my stomach?
>>65448756It's verifiable fact.
>>65450857Ninja love anal
>>65450735Everyone looks very different without makeup on.
>>65448010THEY GONNA SHOOT A NINJA IN THE BACK JUST CUZ HE'S A NINJA?!I SAY, "FUCK THAT!" NINJA POWAH!
>>65449341Dont end a sentence with a preposition, anon. It's: "Send those niggers back from whence/where they came."
>>65451062>Everyone looks very different without makeup on.Damn, JD must have caught her the morning after a very wild night.
>>65450729Is this the cause of declining Asian birth rates?
>>65451127>Is this the cause of declining Asian birth rates?I have a theory that Kojima made Death Stranding to convince Japanese kids that babies are cute.Also to make fun of Likes and (You)s and gig economy and modern isolation and loneliness and a bunch of other stuff.
>>65451173>babies are cute.They're ugly and gross. Kids are cute, babies are not and no amount of delusion will change that fact.
>>65451187Sounds like Kojima made Death Stranding for you to play.
>>65450351>>65450732>t. Goldberg Shecklestein Esq.
>>65451375The name you're looking for is Johnnie Lee Cochran Jr.
