Oh no! You've shot a priceless pre-Islamic Persian statue and freed this evil gremlin-looking motherfucker! Now he wants to thank you by granting you three wishes. Just remember the rules:>he's not leaving until he's granted you three wishes, no more, no less>that which is immortal may never die>the moment that the third wish is granted, the Djinn's army of hellspawn shall invade the Earth and enslave all of humanityChoose wisely
>>65623836>$10 million that was stolen from former employers that I don't like and can't be traced back to me>all IRS buildings spontaneously explode during business hours>that I pulled a reverse Alec Baldwin and accidentally loaded my gun with blanks when I shot your statue
>>65623836>that all niggers are gone>that all Jews are gone>a Coke
>>656238361. Endless money.2. Immortality3. His army of hellspawn is imprinted on me as their new master they follow without questions.
>first wish: you gotta play Pokemon TCG when I ask>No more wishes he's now my eternal ever following card slave
>>65623836>sex with a nine month pregnant Anne Frank while high as a kite on Cheech and Chong’s private stash of marijuana RIGHT NOW>drug-fueled orgy with all my favorite celebrities (Natalie Portman, Kat Dennings, Abigail Shapiro, Oona Chaplin, Heidi Klum, Kendra Wilkinson etc.), e-whores, high school crushes, and anime girls while they were in their prime and nine months pregnant in the back of a private train hauled by a streamlined New York Central Hudson locomotive until I get bored (at least a couple of decades)>that the Confederates had won the Civil War and saved pregnant Anne Frank in the future, thereby erasing the entire chain of events that led to me breaking his statueI would have wished for the NFA to be repealed forever, TND, and for all ziggers to be strung up from lampposts on the Day of the Rope but since stopping the Djinn requires causing a time paradox, fulfilling my immediate sexual desires will have to do instead
>>65623920He always gets excited with himself and kills the people before they can wish more. If he really wanted to satisfy the win condition he'd just go find a drunk bum and wait while the dude mumbles out some bullshit and grant that three times. But he doesn't cause he's a loose cannon, just living it up murdering peeps. All the other djinn are getting pretty sick of it and wonder why that guy got to be the wish arbiter.
>>65623923Surprisingly good post and taste in women.
>>65623876based and Rocco pilled
>>65623923Congratulations, the new you in this new timing gets to live in a shithole almost country ruled by democrats playing at aristocracy. Enjoy your' eternal blue state hell, serf.
>>65623972Weren't the rules that he has to get the wishes from who frees him? He can grant other people's wishes but it does nothing for his ultimate goal, that's why he always twists them whenever he can, to get them to accidentally kill themselves so he can get back to his real goal.
>>65623836I wish for him to manifest 2 10oz gold bars marked in my last name 3 feet in front of me, to manifest a full coca cola bottle for him to drink from on the ground 9 feet in front of me, and then the third wish is to spiritually and physically seal himself into a T-72 main battle tank in Russia.
>>65623836>double world hunger>triple student debt>bring back blueberry Red Bull
I wish for OP to get punched in the balls twice.For my final wish I wish for these dubs to observed.
>>65623876/thread
>>65623836My wishes are as follows >Wish One: I want prime Amanda Tapping in my room naked and lusting for me>Wish Two: I wish for the Confederacy of Independent Systems to be real>Wish Three: I want him to turn the worlds oceans into Chlorine Trifluoride, have fun with ruling the planet now dickhead
>>65624287>spiritually and physically seal himself into a T-72 main battle tank in Russia.Over the line, anon.
>>65623836Wish 1: for 500 billion dollars USD to be deposited into my personal bank account, and for the taxes to already be paid for it.Wish 2: For me to have perfect health and everlasting life without aging.Wish 3: for crane operator Mickey Torelli had not been drinking on the job two days ago.
>>65623836For all the niggers to be back home in Africa with all thier nigger Brothers.For all the specs to be back in their home countries.And for my third, ill have a coke.
>>65623972He doesn't kill (though sometimes torments) the main wish person, just the randos he's collecting souls from.
>>65623836I wish you incapable of causing harm, including indirectly. You can try but it just never works out.I wish you looked like a cute young girl.No more wishes or requests of any kind, no matter how much she nags me over it or tries to trick me. My wacky sitcom life begins now.
>>65623836>I am now immortal.>I have the powers of superman.>The djinn has to fuck off back inside his statue for eternity.
>>65625499>Wish Two: I wish for the Coinfederacy of Independent Systems to be real
>>65623836I wish for him to have a very happy day!
"Three wishes? Yeah, well I wish you would go away".
>>65623876>anon looks around and is being crushed to death by billions of niggers and jews>"I don't understa-">"You said you wanted them gone, and they had gone... TO YOUR HOME! Oh and here's your coke.">anon spends last moments reaching through a mob of confused africans and hasids for his soft drink in vain
>>656238361: All wishes I will make will be completed as intend them to be, without any addition or subtraction of effects by any other party including yourself.2: Upon the completion of my wishes you and your satanic buttbuddies will immediately be banished AFTER arriving thereby completing your retarded prophesy and said banishment is eternal thus your worm-head ass will never sully my sight again. In fact if possible I like the banishment to be so instantaneous that you never have time to pully any stupid shenanigans like making all club sandwich's permanently poison or something out of spite. 3: I want the powers you possess, as much as you can grant me but without any restriction on their application such as fulfilling wishes. I will have total control over whatever powers you can grant me and exercise complete discretion on when and how they are used. So no wishing me to make wishes for in an attempt to undo my previous wishes you officious faggot.
>>65625606Based.
>>65623836so how many people in this thread don't understand the point of this guy is he WILL maliciously fuck you over with his interpretation and execution of the wises because he is not humanity's friend?Granted dumb miserable mfs enabling talking heads at the cost of their own self-interest is nothing new in this country.
>>65623836Can I just fuck him up the ass?
>>65634903
>>65623836Nuke IndiaNuke India againArm every man woman and child with weapons that are extremely effective against Djinn and Hellspawn, while also being easy to use and ergonomic.
>>65632109lol
>>65623836I wish I had not gone shooting today.
>>65623836>To become his antagonist (pic-related)>LOTS OF GUNS>20 Jack in the Box tacos.
>>65623836>I wish for your army to be vaporized the instant it touches Earth, returned to the aether without a trace >I want everyone else dead>Gimme unlimited ammo, guns and deerJust me and the deer...
>>65632140The thing about wishes being "maliciously interpreted" is that there is no, and can be no, limits on how absurdly and abstractly someone can intentionally misinterpret what you say if there's nothing enforcing good faith. He can just go "oh you didn't MAKE the wish you SAID it" or "I didn't add an EFFECT I added a CONDITION" or "The lightbulb is just COVERED not OFF so I didn't break Shabbat!"
>>65623836I wish for him to transform into a hamster and run on my hamster wheel Forever
>>65623836
>>65623836>the ability to grant and revoke perfect health including for myself>the ability to grant and revoke eternal life including for myself >that the djinn and his legion of hellspawn are transformed into loving, obedient cat people who wish to grant consensual companionship to any human who desires itYour move, wishfucker.
>>656238361: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlCKzIhaFsg2/3: don't matter, if he's been trapped in there for over a thousand years he won't do shit against automatic weaponry
>djinn and all hellspawn to be turned into beautiful human women>djinn and all hellspawn lose any and all supernatural powers they may have>djinn and all hellspawn become completely subservient to me
