lets all love snoymodersincerely, a chasoid
>>43654658what why
>>43654700because i see you everywhere and want to hold your little estrogenised body
>>43654721I'm not little though>5'9">175lbs>formerly obeseAnd I don't even have fat tits to show for it.
>>43654700Not op, but you're really nice, and I really enjoy seeing you on the board, even if this board is good for any of us
>>43654752I've been really mean lately though, especially to Anna. She kinda deserves it but I'm far from the nicest souls here. There are some genuinely nice people I've met here. I've been kind of a jerk to cismoid too. Like I think cis male on HRT, despite being a bit of a goober, is a sweetheart.
>>43654737you feel little, and you are most definitely the kind of girl who curls up when embraced
>>43654796Idk it feels hypothetical. I developed a strong aversion to a lot of touch due to both weird chronic pain and deep insecurities so I end up masking things with humor. I haven't even had sex with my bf yet because of it.
>>43654737>>43654806You have a bf and you're out here entertaining guys talking about wanting to hold your body? Grim desu
>>43654828I sincerely doubt they actually want to hold my body
>>43654806> bfi knew it, snoysnoy loves boysyou know, the girl who denies wanting love the loudest is often the girl who needs it the mostyour solitude will end one way or another, and i look forward to it
>>43654839My orientation is complicated ngl. Sometimes I'm not sure if I actually like guys or not. It swings wildly between androphilic, gynephilic, both, or neither. But the chronic pain stuff is actually real and I broke up with my previous gf (cute boymoder who honestly has a really good face and hands but poor body feminization) because of it. It's amplified by stress and anxiety and I just started getting to anxious around her for some reason.
i agree snoymoder is really nice
>>43654658Many are saying this
>>43654897legitimately just check any of the Anna threads I turn into a mean sunovabitch there
>>43654838I sincerely doubt you're so bad looking that you sincerely believe that yourself
>>43654919But Anna’s kinda asking for it, doesn’t count
>>43654871why r u stressed
>>43654934Idk my opinion of my body has gotten worse and I stopped showering daily (in favor of every other day) in part because I kept crying in the mirror afterwards since my new apartment has the mirror facing the shower. >>43654935Trvke but I get unreasonably mean. Like, absurdly so. I should feel worse about it than I do too because I don't actually want her to get worse I want her to get better but I also want her to please stop being so insufferable. >>43654936Severely complicated gender reasons, health reasons, and social stress. Knew I wasn't trans the same way my older sister was and went kind of insane because I was searching for validation while she was pretty secure in being trans.
>>43654975That's really sad to hear to be honest. I don't have any advice to give but I think showering can help you feel fresh which might help with the sad thoughtsI hope you get better
>>43654991It's been part of failing with hygiene stuff in general lately. Like I've stopped shaving my legs as regularly because I let my epilation habit slip so I could try using an expensive home laser device (might just need professional laser because my hair is a weird mix of brown, black, and blonde and only the black is being affected by the laser).
>>43654975i believe in you snoysnoy!
>>43655021Thank you nona.Also spread some love to cis male on HRT and that one ginger boymoder who only posts every now and then but is gmi.
>>43654658idk who that is really, but they seem nice>>43654975I hope things improve, try and avoid the mirror best you can until you're in a better space mentallya mirror caused me to drop out of college, so I know how brutal they can be on the psyche
>>43654934Based Dr.Chud. GET ER'! GET ER' DOCTOR!
>>43655034A mirror was tough for me in college too but I was like full on repping (like legit forgot about things levels of repping) and also on SSRIs so I was able to tough it out.
>>43655051cismoid you should love yourself tooand that doesn't mean starting estrogen (if you do that's okay but please not this isn't a euphemism)be kind to yourself
>>43655067neah, Cismoid should be feminized and we all know it
>>43655067Thats pretty selfish. I shouldnt be thinking just me me me me
>>43655097I mean I think he might be happier that way but he needs to make that choice. Pinkpilling him is a guilty pleasure but I was fucked up by people trying to pinkpill me. >>43655102Being miserable is more selfish.
>>43655122I mean objectively speaking it would be an upgrade but only because i'm a dysfunctional loser as is. If i were a regular guy it'd be a downgrade so itd just down on my personal failures.
>>43655122>but I was fucked up by people trying to pinkpill mefair enough. I have the opposite problem, I wish I were pinkpilled earlier.btw, are you the poster whose sister died and your body (used to?) react badly to hrt?
>>43655135I started it basically as a trial run if that helps>>43655146Yes, though she was not the first one who implied that I was trans before transitioning. It was that pink pilling being half assed that hurt more in the long run I think.
>>43655160>It was that pink pilling being half assed that hurt more in the long run I thinkah, fair enough. still sorry about your sis and I really hope you're better off now.i benefitted even from half assed pinkpilling. still not a tranny even after srs but life is good. i'll probably never know for sure but brain functions better.hugs
>>43655193Well basically I was asked if I wanted to be a girl by my pre-T boyfriend and I felt too moided out and he just didn't really push it further, so I had concluded that I'd just be best off as a guy and that made me much more resistant to self discovery later on. I think I've recovered from my sister's death? Hard to tell. It's been over a year now. PTSD is less bad but overall am more reclusive than I was a year ago when I was trying really hard to be social.
>>43655202>I felt too moided outrelatable. though even learning that it might be possible got me thinking.in the end i ended up in both best and worst of both worlds. I'm post op and estrogenized which trannies think it's based until they find out that I continue to live as a man by choice because it's easier and fits me better. luckily, i also learned to no longer seek the approval of strangers.>overall am more reclusive than I was a year agothat's really not good, dear. i'm serious.life is already short. don't spend your youth being reclusive. i just turned 30 and i wish i were even more of a flaming butterfly than i was.
>>43655270I mean I felt big. I felt really big starting in puberty and even if I wasn't larger than my peers I often *felt* larger. The reclusiveness is in part because I would have really bad panic attacks and identity issues when being social, and a lot of social outings were really disappointing. Like I stopped going to clubs with my roommates because it sucked and I only ever really went because the first time I went was with a larger group and there was this really nice boy and he danced with me and I wanted to fall in love with him but I've never seen him since.
>>43655297I was never social and cant relate to any of it to begin with. I just font talk to people and then go home. Thats my school life and work life back when i was an employim
>>43655338You should talk more to others. I'm not the most social at work but I'm friendly and my coworkers like me. I was probably my most social about a year prior to transitioning (not counting high school).
>>43654658I kinda hope she gets aids then catches a cold and then there’s no treatment available
>>43655350Too old and ugly and weird for that.I'll probably just kill myself.Wish i had friends tho
>>43655355Why though? Honestly not offended, mostly curious.
>>43655370You're like 21 aren't you? I mean I went back to college which helped me socialize (and also I noticed just how nuked the COVID high schooler social skills were), since I was taking care of my sister and couldn't do full time employment because of that anyways.
>>4365538522. An old man. It'll only keep getting worse.I've been going to college for like an academic year how and i hage had maybe 2 conversations. Not for me sadly. I dont talk with anyone. I just go into the classes and clock out go home. I do group projects alone too.
>>43655370>Too old>is 22you're problem is that you're insane, not that you're too old.your whole generation is fundamentally retarded.
>>43655422What degree? It was small classes that helped me a lot but even the big lectures I tried to be attentive and a good student who asked questions. Genuinely don't know if I would have that in me anymore though. Kinda sucks.
>>43655434>>43655435Law.I just kinda accepted that it is what it is. I'll try to fuuucking hold out for a bit and then i'm probably roping. I have bot had a friend since the elementary school
>>43655474I strongly recommend finding a hobbyist group there or something. Even if not to socialize, but to network.
>>43655504Network what? I dont have any skills and no professional aspirations.
>>43655530You're studying lawTo become a lawyer presumably
>>43655588Honestly kinda bevause i was told to go work construction or get a degree so i eent for the degree bc im lazy
>>43655625Okay so do you wanna work construction after you graduate or find an easy desk job?
>>43655658I'd rather just kill myself or neet but between the two probably an easy desk job but even that'll make me go insane after a bit. Like if i have to do 8 hours a day at an office i will kill myself after 2 years.
>>43655625>work constructionheight and weight?
>>43655667A lot of desk jobs are half remote now and that's made me extremely lazy desuGenuinely remote work made me a worse less disciplined person
>>436556845'6 100lbs
>>43655702HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
>>43655686ill bea real FUCK work dont let the bastards grind u down.Ur a human being not an employim
>>43655707I've worked construction before. And at a warehouse
>>43655710Yeah but despite how crap the job has been lately (half my team was laid off) I do like my coworkers and my immediate supervisor(s). I do wish I had the confidence to fagmode again but I'm like "boymoding" and actually boymoding now.
>>43655702Are you seriously 100 lbs? Eat something!
>>43655716you must be so cute cismoid just like a little kitten
>>43655730Im a balding man with the face of a 50 year old
>>43655748You should lotion more and maybe take retinoids.
>>43655702just right to be feminized, unironically
>>43655725I ate some takeout drank milk snd LIQUOR!?!
>>43655748ok i believe you
>>43655773Its brootal.>>43655753I'm taking topical estradiol cream like my HERO Clavicular
>>43655783I'm curious about the cismoid face reveal. I'll do a face reveal (anglefrauded probably) eventually maybe.
>>43655788I'll do one before i kys bc who cares.
>>43655730This is how i look irl in real life.
>>43655830You will learn to accept your feminization
>>43655830>automated feeder goes off>I eat my kibble as usual>I drink from the watrr fountainnothing ever happens
>>43655872Hopefully as an act of selflove
