Probably near the end of a very long relationship with a trans girl and realizing I have no idea what my dating market would even look like now.Not trying to blogpost about her. I still love her, it’s complicated, but things have been unstable for a while and I’m starting to think I need to be realistic instead of assuming it all somehow works out.I’m a cis guy, early 30s, 5'8. Indian, 2nd gen, very Americanized. Grew up on games/forums/imageboards and somehow ended up successful. Not ugly, decent face. Make very good money, probably retired by 40, and should have enough to live basically wherever I want and do what I want.Also probably getting LL eventually, which would put me around 5'11. Not trying to make this a height thread, but obviously it matters.I’ve mostly dated trans girls since I was younger. This isn’t a “watched too much tgirl porn and got curious” thing. Feminine trans girls are just my type at this point. Not DL, not ashamed of it, not looking for random hookup shit.What I’d want if I were single again is pretty simple: serious trans gf/wife thing. Public relationship, traveling together, living together eventually, normal couple stuff, but also a very sexual relationship.I like clingy/needy girls more than distant ones. Girls who want attention, touch, reassurance, sex, cuddling, being spoiled a bit, being close all the time. I like feeling wanted and I like making a girl feel wanted.I’m fine being the more stable one and paying for more if I’m making way more. Nice dates, trips, making life easier, whatever. But I don’t want to be a paypig or some convenient guy a girl settles for while she actually wants someone else.Is this actually appealing to trans girls or does it sound like chaser cope?I’m too used to one person and one dynamic, so I genuinely don’t know how this reads from the outside.
>IndianIt was over before it even began
So the emotion of >Am I ever going to date again?Is extremely common when a longterm relationship ends. Basically it gets felt every single time.
Yea this is very trans girl coded vibes
>>43662112Luckily for you, you sound extremely emotionally mature in a way that is appealing to potential dating aspects and this outweighs the fact that you are indian. Why are you breaking up with your girlfriend?
>>43663151Her penis atrophied and he's not getting enough sperm in his diet
>>43663085I don’t understand>>43662196I swear I do not look, act, talk or behave like that implies. I’m not the typical type A indian tech bro nor the H1B types. I grew up a typical American and I seriously feel like I’ve got racial dysphoria when people say this.>>43662211I know, but I also have a “type” so I maybe unjustifiably feel like it’s a more real fear for me. I know I can just date some random standard Stacy type because past 30 most of them are lifestyle hunting anyway.
>>43663178>I grew up a typical American and I seriously feel like I’ve got racial dysphoria when people say this.Im >>43663151, I dont mean to be insulting, just that your heritage is not looked upon favorably at this time due to political nonsense and exploitation of cheap indian labor. I think you sound like a genuinely high value guy though and that should outweigh most biases that people carry
>>43663178Like you fit the dating interests of the target demographic. The average tranny doesn't have anywhere near as much Indian hate as here, dw.
>>43662112the only valid indian hate is first gen indian immigrant hate, and even thats overblown. id be more unsure about the height but LL would make you as tall as my heighthon ass and taller than the average tranny (but 5'8 isn't actually that bad either so don't feel like the surgery is required). i think you will do okay if you have a good way of putting yourself out there
>>43663151>>43663165I’m not breaking up with her because of sex or anything like that. I feel like I might eventually get broken up with because things have been unstable for a long time and I’m trying to be realistic instead of just assuming it all somehow works out.Didn’t want to dump out a life story but basically:>>been together a very long time>>there were two points years ago where she cheated / wanted to leave>>we worked it out both times>>I still love her and I think she loves me but that kind of thing leaves a markThe current issue isn’t one single event. It’s more like she sometimes gets this restless “maybe I need a completely different life” energy. Sometimes she’s extremely close and loving and it feels like we’re obviously going to make it. Other times it feels like she’s halfway out the door and I’m just waiting for the next crisis.There’s also this weird thing where I feel like I worked insanely hard to become very financially successful and insulate our lives from negative consequences, and now that almost feels like it counts for nothing. Like I spent years building the thing that makes life safe, comfortable, flexible, etc., but the things that seem to get weighted more are me being a little under-muscled, working too much, not being spontaneous enough, not doing enough wild trips/adventures, whatever.And to be clear, I’m not saying she’s just wrong about all of that. I probably did over-focus on money/work because for a long time that felt like the obvious way to build a good life. But now I’m at the point where more money doesn’t really change much, so I’m trying to shift hard into fitness, travel, being more present, actually living more instead of just grinding.So now I’m just kind of writing in this thread to get some kind of feel for how okay or not okay I’d be on the dating market if I get dumped here.
>>43662112finding new relationships is always going to be difficult especially when you are enough of an adult to respect yourself and know what you want (which sounds like you at least to some degree). The good news is that there are 100% girls out there who are going to love a majority of what you described yourself as here. Good luck out there mr chaser! (also might be to your benefit to avoid the ai shit since a lot of trannies love to hate on it)
>>43663318Thanks for the write up. You will be fine anon. I urge you to consider yourself if you think the relationship is fundamentally right for you instead of waiting for her to break up with you. And perhaps try telling her what you told us here and see if couples counseling might be a good option. How old are you btw?
>>43662112i could bite...
obvious repper if not bait>Also probably getting LL eventually, which would put me around 5'11typical indian as well regardless of how much you claim to be totally american, saar
>>43663341Thank you.Understood people hate on AI right now, I feel it's a little nonsensical given it's just a tool. The crazy talk about water use and data centers killing the planet also make little factual sense given golf courses and cows use more water and resources at this point. /shrugI mainly used AI here for the post image, and to summarize my extremely verbose braindumping. I have a tendency to write paragraphs on paragraphs and I just use it as a tool to cut it down because I know nobody is going to read a book.>>43663367I know this is a troll because the last thing a typical "saar" Indian would do is spend $120k+ for LL. If anything it says I grew up on internet forums and that's my actual culture.>>43663349I've thought through this, we've talked it out many, many times. At this point I've just set my red lines for what I will and won't put up with, and I'm letting things play out. Maybe we both work on ourselves the next year, and we end up together and happy forever. Or it all blows up.>>43663287Good to know. I feel like after focusing on fitness/lifting this year, I will be my idealized self except for height. I figure if I don't do it in my early 30s, I won't ever do it, because it's surprisingly safe. The biggest thing that seems to make it uncommon to do is cost and recovery time which is a giant barrier for most.
>>43662112>> very sexual relationship>> don’t want to be a paypig or some convenient guy a girl settles for while she actually wants someone else.
>>43662112you seem fine. only thing is you might somewhat need to compromise a little on the sexual aspect of the relationship, dysphoria can be a bitch. but that really depends on the person. good luck.>t. misandrist agp the media warns you about
>>43663522Anon you are valid as a man regardless of your height. We meme here about it to piss off the pooners but realistically 5'8" is not abnormal or unmasculine
>>43662112I didn't read your post but I love that picture. Is that really what Ai can do now?
>>43663178>I swear I do not look, act, talk or behave like that implies. I’m not the typical type A indian tech bro nor the H1B types. I grew up a typical American and I seriously feel like I’ve got racial dysphoria when people say this.I just want to say that when I shit on indians, and I do because they're fucking awful, I'm not talking about you. You should probably stop identifying as indian and just say brown or something because it is VERY MUCH a cultural thing. Picrel is an Australian commedian named Neel Kolhatkar, 2nd gen like you, and I just can't even see him as Indian. But goddamn Indian men, I hear the accent and my entire nervous system is immediately on high alert.
>>43664384For context on the money aspect, I’m 32 and I make ~400k/y and have about 3m saved, so I know on some level I could quite easily lean into that heavily and end up in a transactional relationship. But not being wanted for the right reasons would feel awful and be completely unsatisfying.The sexual aspect, yeah I enjoy trans bodies because I like femininity and dicks, maybe because it’s just what I’m used to. But I’m respectful about it and I’m not looking to fetishize and use anyone. I feel like that’s okay?
I wouldn't date you for all the money in the world ya gay lil manlet
>>43662112im gonna say don't get the leg lengthening. 5'8 is a fine height. like slightly short but that's a good thing imo, everyone says they want this fairytale perfect-on-every-preference idea of a man but imo in real life that image feels fake. u always want just something that falls short of perfect, otherwise there's something that feels inauthentic. i have my little flaws and i want my man to be the same. that's my preference at leastAnyway u sound like a lovely boy and I'm sure you'll do okay, but I think the most important thing is that you go and talk to your girlfriend about all this. Prolonging things doesn't do anyone any good, you both deserve better. Be tactful, be kind to her, make sure she's okay etc. She better not be a poster here I stg.Ay ay ay if only u were in single and in Europe, good luck
>>43662112>Indian
>>43664851>> But goddamn Indian men, I hear the accent and my entire nervous system is immediately on high alert.Understandable. Honestly the accent feels like nails on chalkboard when I hear it too, for exactly the same reasons as everyone else.>>43665256>>43664778Really? Is 5’8 really not going to hold me back? I get that I’m not super short, but given I am really only interested in trans women it feels like I’d get filtered out hard. In my current relationship I’m shorter by like 4 inches and it’s never bothered me at all, but she let out during fights sometimes that she wished I were taller. It’s the kind of thing that eats away at you.>>43664812The new ChatGPT integrated image model is great! It very often gets exactly the style and vision of what I have in my head exactly right and even enhances with the kind of details I would have added if I was more verbose. It doesn’t replace an artist’s vision but it’s definitely the future for low value stuff like 4chan posts or just casual art and images.
>>43667168>I’m shorter by like 4 inches and it’s never bothered me at all, but she let out during fights sometimes that she wished I were taller. It’s the kind of thing that eats away at you.i'm 5'9, the avg tranny height, and with anyone shorter than me by like up to two inches, i wouldn't think about their height at all. you really don't have to worry about this, especially as you meet everyone's main requirement, which is don't be a jobless loser. you're okay. i hope you can work it out with your gf
>>43662112>5'8. Indiandidn't read the restbut it's over 4 u
Related to OP: I have some questions about the preferences of attractive passing trans women.What do they look for, filter for, and care about?Like if you had to rank each aspect, how much does each characteristic matter?1. Height2. Muscle and frame3. Facial attractiveness4. Ethnicity (White/Asian/Brown/Black)5. Personality (Nice vs Asshole, Rizz vs Autism)6. Respect (Willingness to date publicly and commit)7. Money (Jobless vs Employed vs Well Off (<1m) vs Rich (2m+))8. Lifestyle (How nice is their life overall, somewhat related to money)
>>43662112>Is this actually appealing to trans girls or does it sound like chaser cope?very much so. u sound like a great guy and desu my type. how tall was the girl who you are nearing the end of your relationship with. also i for one dont care about height but gl on ur future surgery
>>43668001You should make this its own thread, frankly
>height brainwormsyou seem like you can live in real life. you'll be fine.unironically your biggest issue is that you're indian but the easiest way to mitigate that is through some lighthearted self-deprecating humour (like if you've shown itt already).>LLjust... don't. seriously, don't.i'm a srsoid tranny and from that position I will say LL is far crazier (and objectively more dangerous) than ppt srs. and ppt srs is pretty wild.>>43668001i'm also married and if something were to happen to my husband, i don't think i'd date too soon. still>heightanything above 165cm (which is about ~95% of men in the first world)>muscle/frameI prefer more masc and always did>faceJust don't be deformed, really.>raceI'm white european and so is my husband. I briefly dated a Korean sperg just before I met my husband. Would not do that again.>Personality (Nice vs Asshole, Rizz vs Autism)Honestly? All at once. A bit of each.In fact, every decently adjusted person has a bit of all four. And unless you won the lottery or did some shady or turboautistic niche shit, you likely have a bit of all 4 as well because otherwise you wouldn't have made that much money.With the risk of sounding NLOG, there is something to be said about the fact that way too many trannies are indeed unstable. So a bit of rizz over autism likely helps.>date publicly and commitI was an early trans boymoder when we met. I would've taken either at the time because I needed to feel even briefly wanted/desired.Tell you a not-so-secret: it's the fastest way to a not-insane tranny's heart that you want to date publicly.(1/2)
>>43668001>>43668590>moneyymmv. everyone's a materialist these days and since statistically trannies are poor, you shouldn't be shocked you will stumble upon golddiggers too. I mean we are fembrained at least in part, after all.For your own good and hers (!!) aim for someone who has her own thing/gig too. statistically you will be the richer partner no matter what. less than a fraction of 1% of the population under 40 saved that much money.my husband is 7 years older so ofc he was richer, but not significantly richer tho (he had terrible parents who bled him).>Lifestylediscounting gold digging, this really differs by personality.I'm very outdoorsy and prefer an active social life. It doesn't need to be expensive (I earn enough to pay for both of us if need be, but I live in Europe where objectively an active and qualitative social life is cheaper), but it needs to be fun.Hiking is now tranny coded and I mention this because that's how I met my husband.(2/2)
>>436680011. Respect obviously2. HYGIENE3. Personality compatibility4. Lifestyle compatibility5. Facial attractiveness6. Either muscles or height or just having a big frameMoney and ethnicity are not considerations, I can support myselfRespect is by far the most important part, and I don't just mean being willing to be seen in public with me, I mean listening to me talk, showing interest in me, being willing to help me out with keeping the house clean etc. or just misc things just generally trying to be a good partner. That alone can outweigh all the other stuff really (except hygiene)
Hey man. I just wanted to say, as a 2nd gen Indian repper who is living in the Middle East and almost can never transition because of family and the law - it felt good to read your post.Nothing of value to add here, but it feels nice that you'd want a genuine relationship. Hope you find a good transwoman, someone loyal you can grow old with.
>>436680246’ tall, I sort of have a thing for tall girls I guess.>>43668590>>43668628Thank you for the detailed response.I am still 80-20 on the LL but if I did it I’d do it safely at Paley’s since he has effectively a 100% success rate and it’s way less insane than it was in the past before his more modern techniques. It’s good to see some people don’t seem to care about height, but looking broadly it seems like when a generic “what do you look for in a guy” question gets asked here the default answer is “tall, good looking” so it’s sort of validating my belief that it’s a good idea to go for it.I definitely agree even from my own experience the way to a trans girl’s heart seems to be eagerness to date publicly and commit. It’s always been so strange to me that apparently the vast majority of chasers either don’t want that or simply use the prospect as bait for sex.
>>43663085Not diagnosing anyone remotely interested in tgirls as eggs challenge (impossible)
>>43668001>6. Respect (Willingness to date publicly and commit)respect to you is the bare minimum of willingness to date publicly? a passing trans woman? hahahathe number one thing that matters is he has to not be a chaser, so you fail immediately
