I took HRT and got multiple surgeries (not SRS) mostly because I was treated like poop my whole life for being a weird loser otaku male and wanted to escape that, since all the girls/women I knew were treated like people at least. Dysphoria had a role but mostly I just didn't want to be seen as gay (I'm not, I'm meta-attracted Jeep). I know I'm not a woman (even a trans woman), but I larp as one and people gender me as such and I feel like I'm an impostor sometimes, especially because real trans women (and gay men!) can sniff it out and are so hostile to me. Am I a bad person?
maybe you are gay
>>43728589I'm not, gay guys know I'm nothing like them. I'm quiet, unsociable and unfashionable. I don't genuinely like men, it's just AGP, and in turn gay men have never been interested in me, even before I began altering my body. I'm interested almost exclusively in "contrast" or "what he can do to me," I never just see a guy and go "he's handsome" (carnally). Unless I'm in love with him.
why do you care if you're a "bad person" in the eyes of strangers who don't care about you and dont know you?do you like your life? that's what mattersim a hrt femboy and i just roll with whatever works. stopped caring years ago. none of this shit truly matters in the end
>>43728674>why do you care if you're a "bad person" in the eyes of strangers who don't care about you and dont know you?If you were a piece of shit you probably wouldn't feel good about it either. >do you like your life? No, because I will never be a woman.
>>43728579You know what, if you're happier living as a woman, maybe you *are* a trans woman.
>>43728810That's the thing, I'm not really happier because I'll always be unhappy; so long as I cannot become a woman and cannot become a normal man, I do not have the freedom to exist, just trauma from male socialization. I'm more pleased with my appearance and ability to attract straight men but that's about it.
>>43728835Being "happier" implies a comparison. Being less unhappy is being "happier" even if you're not "happy" in general.This insecurity about not believing yourself to be a woman, sometimes not even believing yourself to be like (other) trans women, is very common among trans women.If you went so far as to get HRT and several surgeries and you feel better about your body as a result, I don't think you are any less than other trans women.Some trans women being catty and hostile to you doesn't make you any less real. Being trans doesn't in and of itself make someone a good person.
>>43728579You are not a bad person. You are just playing the best you can with the hand you were dealt. The "real transwomen" who go after us are the bad people because they lie to people and try to limit our bodily autonomy for their own benefit.
>>43728865I'm not a trans woman because I neither have nor want a vagina; I don't have genital dysphoria. Moreover, my orientation is "fixed" instead of "fluid," I suffer from erotic target location inversion and only men can sate that. I'm a far cry from actual women, cis or trans. I'm not a trans woman for these reasons, and the fact that I just wanted to "escape" being male for social reasons. Like, if a woman in Pakistan said she wished she were a man not because she hates her female body but because she doesn't want to be forcibly married to Uncle Basheer, I don't think many people would instantly assume she's a trans man; that's very different from an AFAB with gender dysphoria who wants to self-actualize with medication and surgery, who is actually a man. There have only been two trans women I've had positive interactions with, it's not "some" trans women being catty and hostile but "all with these exceptions." I really don't have anything in common with them at all, even down to "dysphoria," the stuff I wasn't okay with most trans women don't seem to have minded or coped by just being numb, the stuff I detest is basically performative/a larp to most trans women. Being trans doesn't in and of itself make someone a good person, but being a woman--or a proper man--does, and I am not that.
> I'm not a trans woman because I neither have nor want a vaginaNot how that works. I spent 10 years telling myself the same thing and, lo and behold, I am a trans woman after all. I've got a diagnosis, a prescription, legal documents and everything.> I suffer from erotic target location inversion and only men can sate that.Common among trans women, not an exclusion factor for being a trans woman.> I just wanted to "escape" being male for social reasonsAll trans women want to escape being male, and only a trans woman would fall for the ridiculous idea that women have it better than men, because we develop jealousy towards cis women, and if we are jealous, then they must have it better, right?At the end of the day, you have to be *something*. You're clearly not a man since you took huge steps to transition out of it, so either you're a woman or you're non-binary. I think you're a trans woman.
>>43728937>Not how that works. I spent 10 years telling myself the same thing and, lo and behold, I am a trans woman after all. I've got a diagnosis, a prescription, legal documents and everything.But your reasoning was totally different. >Common among trans women, not an exclusion factor for being a trans woman.Think of it this way, think of a cake with icing on it (common to trans women) vs. a cake made entirely of icing, with no "cake" (me). You couldn't really call the latter a cake, while the former is very common.>All trans women want to escape being male, and only a trans woman would fall for the ridiculous idea that women have it better than men, because we develop jealousy towards cis women, and if we are jealous, then they must have it better, right?You're fundamentally misunderstanding. I'm not even saying that just cis women have it better (and certainly not as a blanket statement devoid of nuance--women in third world countries, or American women with no access to reproductive health, in those cases or veins absolutely not). I'm saying that women (including trans women) have it better. Every trans woman I know, even the depressed ones, even the self-proclaimed hons/neverpassers, has a friend group, is part of a community which exists almost like a fandom or has a friend group, support. Even if they're not as bubbly and sociable as cis women on average, they still have some social capability by virtue of being women. I don't. I don't believe in being enby (for myself), I'm not a woman, I'm just a man who hacked himself up because he wanted to escape for reasons unrelated to "transness" or "dysphoria." If I had been a Normal Guy or the girls/women I was around as a kid weren't treated leaps and bounds better than me, with freedom to exist I didn't have, there's a 0% chance I'd have done any of this.
>>43728983That's just the brain worms talking.Your reply is just "every trans woman is valid except me", which is common among trans women.
>>43728810Honestly the biggest realization of my transition. Before that I struggled with everything to find true happiness. There was moments during times of disassociating but nothing like accepting that I'm a girl and transitioning. I'm an ugly loser who won't ever fully pass or had the coin land on the other side, but I'm still the happiest I've ever been even during the moments where I spiral. Some people really romanticize transgendered and are blind to their own privilege, but damn are they correct when they said it's a form of self care. It's not easy but few things worth doing are
>>43728749>If you were a piece of shit you probably wouldn't feel good about it either.brainworms>iwnbawneither will i. so what? i look like one and feel better. that's really enough because you can't ask transition to solve everythingasthe other nona said, it's a form of self care. it doesn't do everything, but it does bring ?% improvement
>>43728579hey, im also faketrans. i mean i had horrible dysphoria and i take hrt and had surgeries, but i like my pp and i dont feel like a woman. i feel like a cute girl-boy creature posing as a woman. my question is: so what? society doesnt have a place for enbies or hermaphrodites or intersexuals so we have to pick between two options and i picked the nicer one. is that not my freedom? who is anyone else to be mean to me for it? its my body and my life and if i wanna take female hormones and live as a "girl" then thats nobody elses business.
>>43729921nta but basedbodily autonomy and freedom of choice ftwlife's short anyway
>>43729921Nobody can really define what it means to feel like a woman which is why vocal minority conservative truscums had to invent arbitrary reasons that did nothing but fuel terf and transphobic rhetorics. Medical definitions for the sake of medical care aside, the penis is just a bigger clit and the clit is just a smaller penis and that fact scares a lot of people to the point woman now means those who can carry child which tosses so many other people under the bus just for their own selfish confirmation bias and insecurities. You want to be a woman. Be a woman. Want to girl-boy. Go for it. Feeling indifferent to gender and just want to exist how you are? Find those who will have even a shred of decency to treat you as such. When someone presents themselves to me as the gender they identify as, that's how I know them even if they are just doing it for attention and lulz. It's not that hard to be respectful for something that barely affects others but for transphobes we're the easy target and they have nothing to loose compared to their behaviors toward potential sexual partners. It also just goes to show how brainwashed some people are or spent their entire life just learning how to be a jerk regardless if they transitioned or not. Too many trans women only care about optics and projecting their own sexism rather than actually being the truest definition of their tradionalist reasoning. Nurture. Be happy there are more trans women regardless if we pass or what's between our legs because most people are going to hate regardless and everyone has their own standards of beauty.
>>43730183good post except most people dont even hate if you live in a civilized country
>>43730183I will never be a woman. That's the truth. HRT feminized the body but it can't feminize the soul. I have the mind, the essence, the agalma and spirit of Adam and nothing will ever change that.
>>43730292Yep. It sucks. I'll never be a 7 year old anime girl or sexy fantasy taur but that's just what it is and there is no real point in spreading a miserable attitude around to bring others down. Just a constant spiral of depression and passive aggressiveness to cope with my own shit, so in that regard I'll take delusional and happy. Find those who want to treat me as such and forget the rest. Truth is people will hate over a differing sports team or choice of flavor of mountain dew. Can't change them but I can change myself by taking hrt to bring myself just a little bit closer while others seethe. Misery loves company as a form of dissociating and that's why most who troll here have to bait and cope by thinking they're above others who are thriving in their ignorance and normie lives. The truth is most functional and truly happy people don't act that way no matter if it's just a 5d chess troll, bro.
>>43730230greece mentioned!!
>>43730292>>43730465How do y'all know you don't just have a feminine soul that is being repressed by you having been forced to perform masculinity in the past?
