poobing my diapies actually

The desire came first, I had no concept of trans people until I had a at home internet at 16.

But I started having consistent intrusive trans thoughts by age 6. Cried myself to sleep about it probably hundreds of times

>>43734539
Wanting to be the opposite sex, but in a deeply repressed "pray every night to magically wake up as a girl the next morning and feel extremely guilty for wanting such a thing" kind of way rather than the whole "I knew I was trans since the moment I was born and socially transitioned when I was 5" way some people claim. If anything "knowing about trans people" was one of the things that made me repress since I was operating under the common misconception that being a trans woman basically just meant being a man in a dress with fake tits which absolutely wasn't what I wanted, it wasn't until I encountered a relatively normal transwoman online who was talking about how hrt works and what it does that I actually considered transitioning.
The idea of someone feeling perfectly comfortable with their body only to suddenly transition for the lulz once they find out its an option just seems bizarre to me

>>43734539
I'm an oldfag and didn't have the internet until much later to learn trans was even a thing. I wanted to be a girl well before that. Being trans isn't really a choice or something someone else can truly decide for you. It just takes some of us longer to come to terms with it

I was jnironically an hsts kid. I didn't know what gay people were and i used to cry at night before i went to sleep because I wasnt a girl and so I couldn't be with guys.

I'm ftm, and ironically if I'd been raised in a more misogynistic household I probably would've understood more conciously I was/wanted to be a guy. But because I had a feminist outlook early, exploring the desire to be a guy/boy/man felt inherently unsafe because A) I feared it being internalized misogyny (even if I didn't know that term yet and B) A lot of boys and men around me growing up were very unrelatable to me and often antagonistic to me, so I didn't want to be like them (and C) I didn't know being trans existed yet)

But at the same time, for whatever reason my mind my whole life has always drifted to hypotheticals of how I would survive living in past societies, so my version of "Praying I'd wake up as a girl" was instead "If I was teleported back in time I would immediately crossdress and live as a man my entire life no problem"

My parents also sorta forgot to tell me gay people existed, like they weren't homophobic and my mom even had a fair amount of exposure to queer men's spaces as a young adult, they just actually forgot. So if I'd had exposure to queer people I might've figuired it out faster, because I've always related far more to queer desire than cishet models of it.

I also had some pretty strong character fixations that were me externalizing gender envy as attraction (men), and also vice versa (women) because I only realized like 8 months ago I am actually attracted to women

Anyway, I was sorta feeling like my gender was "broken" as a teen before I knew about being trans, that just something was inherently off in how I related to people and they related to me. My first reaction to finding out about trans men was "This could be me" and the more I thought about it the more that felt right and made me happy, especially in recognizing my desire to live as a man (well, boy, I was 15) wasn't a rejection or inherent dislike of women or femininity.

>>43735568
OP here.
In other words, you are a poser. You even admit that having role models would have made you transition sooner. You are not trans, you are a socialized to prefer expressing yourself with counterculture.

And no, you would not have transitioned sooner had you been socialized in a misogynistic household, you would have been turned into a complacent status quo supporter.

You did not even transition. You have instead taken on a new role in addition to your old ones. You are AGAMP.

However, you should be proud of this. While you aren't trans, you are still gender queer. I hope you have a good day.

>>43734539
When I was growing up I would occasionally think "yeah, I mean if I couldve gotten to choose I'd probably be a girl" but I never took it seriously and went on with my life until I figured out you could actually DO that.

>>43734539
3. Wondering if I was supposed to be born a girl or was born intersex because I had phantom vagina syndrome and my body didn't make sense to me

1. but you won't believe because I'm a hon

2, but i make no secret that im fake trans

>>43734544
natural lube

>>43734539
Trans gatekeepers are fundamentally so comedic. You’re posing as the opposite sex, right? But then it’s a problem when someone poses as you while taking all the same actions that you take?

>>43741231
Based nvke.

>>43734539
1 like ofc I heard about trans ppl but I never looked into, it never was around trans ppl never really associated much with it. I used to surround myself mostly with masc gay men n kinda considered myself one of them but then I looked out the window one evening and just the thought
>holy shit I'm trans
popped into my mind and that's when THIS is all started.
Ah wait, no, once I was in a gay club and really fucking high and I saw a tranny pass me by and she did like little jumps and looked so friggin happy n I looked her in the eye n she smiled at me but in this particularly compassionate way almost as if she knew what was going on before I ever did. Lasted maybe two seconds that encounter and never saw her afterwards but I remember it strongly so maybe it had some impact.

>>43734539
why does this matter if eventually I feel better anyways?

>>43741231
No, it isn't about the destination, it is about the purpose. Transitioning is supposed to be a personal decision and not an attempt at fitting in.

If you transition to feel a sense of community, then you are not trans, you are lonely.

>but the fake trans did the same thing
Imagine an evil scientist puts a mind control device in a married man's brain. The scientist says, "I'm going to make the married man kill his wife." So, the scientist sets up a circuit that bypasses the man's will when he decides to *not* kill his wife. However, the man decides to kill his wife and the circuit doesn't even go off. Is the man responsible for killing his wife? What if the circuit does go off and it makes the man kill his wife?

>>43744133
I’m not really sure why you think it’s about a sense of community? Taking hrt is more likely than not to leave me more isolated than ever. I started after knowing trans people because I realized it was an actual option, and I don’t think those people even care if I troon or not

>thought experiment
Obviously, if the man kills his wife then he killed his wife, if his body is hijacked then the hijacker did it. How does this relate to the topic at hand

>>43734539
1 came first
when i found out about trans people i already lost the desire. and i didnt know about hrt. it wasnt until i found out about hrt on this board and its ability to cure twinkdeath that i got sucked in.

>>43734539
The desire for over a decade

>>43744245
If you transition to be a part of a community or to fit in, then you are not trans. Whether or not it is likely that you will be isolated when you take HRT is not relevant.

If you transitioned after "knowing it was an option", then you are not a poser. I suppose that is an edge case.

Regarding the hypothetical, you value sourcehood based on your responses. In other words, we are responsible the consequences of our actions only when the actions we take are our own.
>How does this relate to the topic at hand?
Take this quote I referred to:
>But then it’s a problem when someone poses as you while taking all the same actions that you take?
It isn't the same action anymore. The actions lack sourcehood -- they aren't coming from the copier. The intentions are entirely different.

>>43734539
I don't really give a fuck about being a woman in particular. I trooned out because of dysphoria - A rejection of the sex characteristics of my birth sex.It just so happens that the person I chose to become is a woman.

>>43744403
To be clear I’m (probably) in your first category and you would likely consider me a poser. There are many “fraudulent” reasons to transition besides to gain access to a community (a community that is already ridiculously inclusive for the most part, online, and usually doesn’t even demand for people to meaningfully transition)

I mean it seems ridiculous to me, not to mention extremely hurtful, for a trans person to look at someone who followed the same process and lives the same life and say “I am a trans woman, and you are not because you did not have the correct thoughts at the correct time”

>>43744534
I have a suggestion. Instead of considering a trans woman a man that takes female hormones, you should consider a trans woman a man that transitions to become a woman.

If the end result is the same, then you can just say that the person is gender queer either way. But being trans is about gender identity, and it must therefore be about intentions.

i continue to live as a man, sorta
but i have a neovag now
ig im a poser. oh no, anyway

>>43734539
I’m a poser and I don’t give a fuck. I’ve come to terms with it and the only thing that matters to me now is that I’m happy.
I’m going to surround myself with people who recognize my identity as soon as I get the chance, and I will continue to exist in this space, in “your” space, and there’s nothing that you can do about it.

>>43734539
I remember I used to watch this reality tv show about those kids pagent contests and there was this one boy who tried to cut off his penis with scissors and I thought wow I should do that too but the blood scared me too much to commit. Of course once my mom saw me watching that show I wasnt allowed to see it again.