i unironically, on many levels, wish i was a dog. i don't fully understand why i'm like this. i have been fascinated by dogs for several years. maybe it started when i was a kid. i once threw up, off my bed. i didn't know what to do. i didn't want to wake my parents, but i didn't want to go back to sleep either. so i decided to sit on my bean bag and play my xbox, not far from where i had vomited. eventually, my parents woke up, and when my father came to check on me and saw this he berated me. i didn't understand that he was angry because i had stained the carpet. he told me that what i had done was disgusting, that sitting next to my own vomit was like something a dog would do. i had always felt alien to other people, but i think that experience may have cemented in me the feeling that i am, on some level, not quite human. my father has always been uncharitable toward dogs. he used to try to convince me of what ruthless monsters pitbulls were. i love dogs. i see such a rich and meaningful inner life in them. they are pure, loving creatures deserving of nothing but care. i think the way we treat dogs may be a sign of the disease our world is infested with. that's one thing i like, maybe, about not being human. i don't have this sickness i see in other people, it's like a disease that doesn't transmit to me. people don't understand that ideas are parasites that live in human brains. the idea that animals are inherently below humans is one breed of parasite that persists out of its convenience to us. normal people, as i tend to call them, have a staggering ability to pick and choose ideas to build a reality that allows them to achieve their goals, and to selectively limit their empathy to justify themselves. so they converge on these evil ideas that let them do whatever they want (capitalism, omnivorism, parental dominance, patriarchy, racism, etc.).(cont.)
but the dog thing is what's eating me tonight. i've always had trouble taking care of the things i need to take care of. i could never brush my teeth twice a day, or get my schoolwork done, or wake up on time, or do all my chores. dogs don't have to worry about those things. i'm not sure whether or not to envy them. maybe i envy some dogs with loving owners who truly take care of their needs and make them fulfilled. but are most owners even like that? am i the lucky one, alone but at least free? it's not just that, though. it's my body. i don't just want to be a dog in a vague, wishy-washy, dreamy sense. i want, physically, to be a dog. it's... hard to describe the feeling. it is very intense, not unlike my dysphoria, but a different shape. it's not so much that i have a species dysphoria as it is that the idea of inhabiting the physical form of a dog fills some strange, deep-seated hole in my mind. i'm not sure it'd even be correct to say it feels 'right'. it feels extremely desirable. you might not be surprised to hear i look at a lot of furry art. one of my favorite things in this art is digitigrade legs: the more intense and exaggerated the better, generally. i know this probably comes off as a sex thing, you'll have to take my word that it isn't. i just WANT it. it's a hunger almost, i crave it in the same way i might have a sugar craving. i think about the legs, the fur, the paws, the ears, the fluffy chests. i don't know why i want it so badly. i can never have it. i guess i just want to feel complete, and my brain is playing some cruel joke in making me think this would complete me.(cont.)
i think about what it would be like. i imagine running, i imagine pawing or gnawing at things. FUCK what is wrong with me???? how can i even talk to a therapist or someone about this??? i'm not a therian or something, i don't think like my chakras are aligned with being a dog or that i'm somehow hardwired to be one, i just cannot stop myself from wanting it so so badly. i don't know how to be a person, i hate people so much, i'm not like them. dogs are nice to me. dogs don't judge me. dogs don't lie to me. people are so sick and so unable to see their own sickness. and if you try to show it to them they'll forget it the moment you stop talking. what a horrible blight we are on this earth. i'm a hypocrite, too, i can't stop myself from causing more pain. i try to put my heart in the right place, but i'm sick too. i still eat meat. i'm going to try to stop once i have my own apartment. right now my avoidant tendencies are keeping me from preparing food at my current home, so i have been resorting to frozen and fast food. i sometimes wish i could disconnect from it all, leave this species behind and only touch it through a screen. i wish i just had an apartment where i could be safe from others and where others could be safe from me. i wish i could hunker down, do what little i can to repair this horrible nightmarish body i have to live in, and just focus on minimizing the pain i cause. i don't see how i could ever expect to do much better than that, given the person i am and the circumstances i'm in. none of my dreams ever come true. least of all this one.
Me want trans pet dog lady
aight
i love you, op. i wish you were a dog.
>>43767776>>43767779>>43767782I think you're just autistic cuh
>>43767776this post exists to be posted to xitter and leddit
>>43767776I think you feel dehumanised because you've been mistreated for not masking enough and you have executive dysfunction that impairs your ability to do things.I think a mental health professional might be able to help you but you do need to find the right one, and the first one may be the right one, or not.Good luck, nona, I hope you get better
>>43767776>people don't understand that ideas are parasites that live in human brains. the idea that animals are inherently below humans is one breed of parasite that persists out of its convenience to us.Im sorry that i dont really have anything helpful to say about the main point of this topic, i hope ur doing well, but on the topic of humanitys cruelty to animals i really feel the same, like Sometimes i just imagine myself or like another person just being overpowered and eatne in a way but not in any like vore way just, it feels kinda cathartic because I feel like the way the human race has treated animals and nature is such a severe unethicality and its always overlooked and its just a disgusting and i just wish tha nature could oerpower all of us and maybe wed finally be safe and yeah. iam really sorry if this came across as disrespectful srsly cuz i know this wasnt your main point :V yea well okay goodbya
>>43767905could also b traumatho maybe both>>43767776i 100% understand this.though i'd rather be a robot.>>43767779> it's... hard to describe the feeling. it is very intense, not unlike my dysphoria, but a different shapeexactly. i'd take genderless robot over being a human woman.
>>43769032thank you for the kind words. you are probably largely correct, it's just a very scary thing to imagine talking to a professional about. i worry what they'd think of me i guess, i am very preoccupied with how others see me, but i'll probably have to bite the bullet someday. what i fantasize about more is someone just indulging the feelings and caring for me like one might a dog, but realistically i know i shouldn't hold my breath and that it probably wouldn't be healthy anyway.>>43769056i get it :( we are not worthy of the power we have over life on this planet. i deeply hope that one day animal rights are finally given even a moment of consideration by our species at large.>>43770609that is interesting, i guess it shouldn't surprise me that this feeling can arise and center around things other than animals. you've given me the food for thought now of whether i'd take being a dog over being a cisgender woman. i'm really not sure at all, i guess it'd depend on the specific circumstances of either option... on a related note, have you ever seen the movie chappie? you would probably like it.
>>43771019>it's just a very scary thing to imagine talking to a professional about. i worry what they'd think of me i guess,Yeah, I get it, but the entire point of their job is to help you without judgement. If you see one that doesn't do that, switch to another who who does. I hope it works out, nona :>
this is all because of a long history of old worlders using dogs as weapons of war. in the so called new world, they had 0 breeds of war dogs, plenty of other breeds but no other ones. Columbus himself said 1 war dog could kill a dozen Indians and ever since 1492 westoids went nuts on feeding people to dogs and it didnt stop until guns became way more advanced with rifled boring. Feeding people to dogs hit westoids like crack hit the ghetto and shit like this is reverberations from unhealed generational trauma. Only way out is to become dog
I feel this, I'm not sure I'd like to be a dog always. There are aspects of being human that I enjoy, but I cannot escape the longing that lives in my heart. The urge to run through a field on all fours, my paws propelling me faster with every stride. Bounding happily along the grass with the wind on my snout. It would be nice to be a dog at least sometimes.
>>43771406maybe one of these days... thank you for your thoughts nonny.>>43771998you get it
>>43773537I don't know a lot of other people that get it. Wanna talk on discord?
>>43774936i'm usually a little weary about saying mine on here but i could add you if you're okay saying yours
bow wow wow yippee yo yippe yay
>>43767776you just know...
>>43767776uh i only read half of this but you can just be a silly doggie if you want to op it's okay you're not fooling me i see it. having an owner take care of you is honestly one of my favorite feelings in the world and i'm probably like this because of audhd and trama but it's all okie just be a dog :3 i hope you can find an owner to take care of you.bark bark
>>43767776nona you should get one of those non-plug tails that go on your belt loops or something
>>43777477oh i have one of those its a keychain and its blue at the end :) big and fluffy too
>>43777503thats awesome! i found some etsy place a while back that does really good ones but they cost something like $200 and im a student so im not doing all that
>>43777551i stole mine from the expensive pseudo farmers market that sets up at my local summer town fair. didnt cost a dime due to my quick fingers.
>>43767776Autistic people are inbetween humans and animals cognitivelyNot in terms of level of intelligence, but the way our minds workThis is why we gun for the therian thingLool up Temple Grandin
>>43767776tara knight would hate you.but that's ok she hated me too.When I moved away from her one of the first things I did was get myself a giant dog crate. It's been occasionally useful, for when i get overwhelmed and upset, I go there, for a mental refresh, just to unwind a little. Growing up I used to sleep in a dog bed, so its somewhat comforting to still have that in my life. Taking care of yourself when you're alone is super hard, especially if your whole life you've been conditioned that you only do things for the sake of others. I would also be significantly happier as a pet, and would love nothing more than be taken in and cherished. I don't think all people are bad. I have known alot of bad people, but there are people who'll show kindness. You just gotta find them, I suppose. IDK if this helpful in a meaningful way.
>>43775171Discord should be k80.dLooking forward to talking :)
>>43767776You will be my puppy gf and sleep in a cage and only make puppy sounds when you open your mouth.
My daughter is like this. I like to believe that someone human transmutationed a dog into her. I didn't do it, I swear.
>>43777562subhuman
