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Me and my bf are fighting hard at the beginning of our relationship and we've never even seen each other live even for a preciously short time.

I am falling for her very quickly and I'm afraid of ruining the current situation by expressing it

>>43792084
>Bf
>Never met in person
LMAO

>>43792018
i'm a shotacon
shotas are very cute and erotic

>>43793024
I sincerely hope you get cancer of the ass

I want to get wasted and high together and fuck my on-again-off-again ex just one last time, then finally move on. But I don't think she would agree to it if I told her it was just for a goodbye.

>>43792018
There absolutely is a correlation between being molested and being trans
There is a considerable number of gender dysphoria cases at least partially caused by sexual abuse

This doesn't that all trans people were molested or that they should transition but it is unfortunately a reality that gender dysphoria can be cause by sex abuse

>>43793146
>it is unfortunately a reality that gender dysphoria can be cause by sex abuse
source / proof?

bitch I miss you, flaws and all

When I saw you just getting out of bed in the morning, I had to look away because you looked extremely cute and I knew I was going to stare

so fucking tired of pretending like transition didnt ruin my life. bit past 1 year hrt and im somehow even more of a brick than when I started. tired of having to act like I dont regret this shit

>>43793353
HRT really needs time to do its thing... 1 year is clearly not enough for starting to pass for 95% of people

>>43793382
pretty much every other doll I know's had *something* happen to them by 1 year. Im functionally indistinguishable. Kinda think i have EIS or something like that but I refuse to talk to doctors so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mostly guessing

>>43793440
You totally should go see a endocrinologist then. Find some local community irl or online to know which one is safe

>>43793464
Gotten this far avoiding outing myself to the united states healthcare system, not keen to start now. Besides, im broke and homeless, not exactly the type of person who can afford Healthcare. Also, folks where im at are shallow and generally dont let hons into their little social clubs.

I mean nothing to the one who means everything to me
Oneitis is big gay

I think Im genuinely retarded but everyone around me thinks Im smart. I dont know how to fix this, I genuinely cannot function as an adult on my own but I like the independence it gives me.

why did you come into my life and get me addicted to you like this

the more I talk to other people the more I realize how much less I like them than you and how special and unique you are

>>43792018
im gonna make u marry me one day

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Looking at the treatment that that John Horus guy is getting makes me wonder if trannies even hate me. Maybe they even respect me.

>>43796619
why would i hate u anon

i need a hug and a sticker and praise and love and the assurance that no matter what, everything will be okay. i live for the gold-star sticker. i am so terrified and lost and worthless and i just want to give up. i want to give up. i want to give up on everything. i want a mom. i hate myself for it.

Typed out a post once and lost internet, so I'm gonna try a letter.
I love you. I don't think that we're even close enough for me to say that yet. Regardless, I'd like to be close enough that I can say that. I want to know everything about you. We've known each other for what'll be a year this week, actually and even after a few months, I think I was catching feelings a bit. Before I even knew what you looked like, I was falling for words on a screen. And once I did actually see you, it was so much more. I've never been more attracted to someone and that's not exageration. Maybe it's just because it's you, but I've never seen someone more beautiful. It hurts me seeing how much you seem to want connection with someone and it hurts me even more to see you go out and try getting with random women. Addmittedly, some of that is just me being jealous. Most of it is concern, though. You've outright told me that you're scared of being clingy or obsessive, so when you go out and have some one night thing that you can completely disconnect from, it looks like you're running from those worries. I'm sorry that last girl hurt you, I know you thought she wanted more, but don't give up on that. I just shouldn't say anything, though. You never asked for me to get involved or for my support, so maybe it's selfish all the way down. Honestly, I wish you'd obsess over me. If you are reading this, then maybe you'd be able to tell if we love the same way. I know that wouldn't just heal you, but I want to be there for you. I want to message you every day. I want to help you with your projects. I want to go on walks with you. Hold your hand. Be with you. But I can't even tell you that.
Too long, damnit

>>43796960
You already said you don't do long distance. Said you need the physical contact. I agreed. I regret that. I'd do it for you. Only you. I wish I would've been a better friend earlier on and now I'm struggling again. It's been hard for me lately, but I know I can get better now and when I do, I hope you'll look at me the way I do you. I hope that's sooner than later, though. I've prayed to no one in particular, made those silly wishes at 11:11, and cried for you, just begging that you would take an interest in me. Anything but just telling you. I'm a coward, all of this scares me. I want to love you. I desperately want to learn if we can fall in love together

>>43792018
i don't think i'll ever be well enough to go back to u

>>43796960
I know you're not her, you can't be, but you sound so much like her that it makes me yearn again

>>43792988
NTA, me and my husband have been married for 3 years and never met in person but we're planning on it soon. We voice chat every day and that's enough for me, plus i have 6 transbians I suck off and fuck regularly which eases the pain of being apart from my dear husband.

>>43792018
sometimes when my boyfriend goes out i eat some bread with olive oil >.< he'd have my head if he knew !

I'm with a guy and really love him and have been with him for many years. IDK how it ended up this way, but he isn't really into trannies anymore but still wants to be with me, just not sexually. Every once in a while well do something, but it feels really weird, I have to ask for it every time, and it feels like him letting me give him a blowjob out of pity or something.
I love him, he says he loves me, but this is destroying me. I was mostly okay with it until like 3 days ago when I went on here and saw people talking about actually having sex and it kinda made me break down because I realised it's kinda likely I won't ever again, aside from occasionally giving him oral. If I could know for certain he wasn't cheating on me I'd probably want to stay but it makes me so paranoid and self conscious honestly I don't want to waste my life.
Every time I try to initiate anything it just feels awkward and he'll just say another time or kinda brush it aside and it feels horrible. The other day I tried bringing up a dream I had where we had sex and he just said "oh okay" and then went and did something else I wanted to die. It literally makes me feel like some sort of rapist. He used to want to have sex and would bring it up to me and even be kinda forceful about it, I'd give so much to have that back.

>>43797197
What's the story? I may not be her, but I can still listen since we're both yearning

>>43793168
Look it up

>>43797523
It's the other way around. Common consensus is that children who are different/are made to feel different are easier to isolate and take advantage of. What you're saying is the same thing that was said about gay people years ago. It's almost like every anti-trans narrative is just recycled homophobia

I got kinda raped in 24 and in the months afterwards I got weirdly sexual and fucked my way through grindr. I'm not a horrible mess now but I got a bf and I'm terrified he's going to want to know about my sexual history. I was pretty gross and I worse a condom twice. Didn't catch anything but still, gross

>>43797438
I met a girl shortly after I broke things off with my wife. Me and her have/had tons of interests in common, we were both in the same sort of situation and place in life. She helped me in ways she couldn't even know, and I guess I had feelings for her for awhile, but I just never could act on them. I got jealous when she told me about her trying to meet guys, I tried to reassure her as best I could when she would get self-conscious about herself, I tried to help her too. But I never managed to get further than "You're really pretty, you're a wonderful person, you'll find your man someday." I guess I was denying that I felt that way about her. She assured me I'd find love eventually, she assured me I was a great catch, even though we both know it isn't true. And now, even if I had the guts (which I still don't), it'd be too late to say anything. But if she were to see this, I'd want her to know that I know I should've quit my bad habits like you did. I know smoking and casual sex won't help me at all. You were right about everything and I'm sorry I was such a shit friend. But it's for the best, because I couldn't have made you happy.

>>43797846
Well, I guess saying "I broke things off with my wife" makes me sound wretched. She fell out of love with me, and only stayed with me out of obligation. She was miserable, and I didn't want to let her be that way. Now she's somebody else's perfect angel I hope, or at least happy on her own. I can't blame her though, I didn't love me either. Maybe it's true what they say, that grey eyes are bad for love.

>>43797846
lol I got together with a woman who I used to work with after a left my wife. We had great chemistry, was resisting cheating the whole time we worked together. Anyway we got together and she was a gigantic bpdemon who ruined me and now I have a boyfriend

>>43797882
for what its worth, i think you sound lovely.

>>43797967
Thanks, I hope someone as lovely as you thinks the same eventually. I hope things work out with your man, and he notices how much you obviously love him. Maybe drop some hints though, guys can be dense, especially hurt guys.

>>43798043
ah, sorry, im not the same person X_X ive just been reading and figured id say something nice, because i think you deserve it!

>>43797846
>>43797882
I'm sorry to hear that. All of it. Realistically, it sounds like you've already lost a lot more than I stand to. I don't think I'd be able to bear it. You're strong and you're self aware enough to understand the things you need to change. You'll make it eventually, but I'm sorry it won't be with the woman you wanted. That other poster wasn't me, just for clarification. And the person I was talking about is actually a woman. But she is incredibly dense, so I'll still take your advice. After that last hookup hurt her, I basically wrote her an entire paragraph listing every reason I thought she was amazing since her self worth was tanked. That may as well have been a confession, but she either ignored it or really didn't pick up on how strongly I feel. I really think you deserve something nice and I'm sure you'll have it soon

>>43798082
Oh! My apologies, I'm getting up there in years, and it's a bit late. You seem plenty sweet too though.
>>43798103
Don't be hard on yourself, you bear what you have to. People don't break half so easily as they think they will. And I bet your lady will fall for you quick as a snap if you give it to her really bluntly!

>>43798551
Thank you and I hope you're right because that's probably the only way it'd get through to her, lol. Not being thousands of miles away would solve so many problems. But that's enough whining from me. I'll have to figure something out. I had fun talking to you :)

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I was a prolific neo-nazi in my youth and I don't mean I watched sjw owned videos
There are multiple articles covering my escapades, quoting my polemics, calls to discover who I am because of high visibility activism
I was personally responsible for indoctrinating the architects of the modern movement in my country, some of whom are now in prison, more than I could count on one hand
The only people that know this past of mine are lifelong friends who I managed to deradicalize and now share a bond with
I've been told I'm the kindest person many people know, that I have a good heart, that I inspire them but none of them know who they are really speaking to
My past will haunt me to my grave
In the later years of my movement my influence had convinced a number of people to successfully start families, move rural, and indoctrinate their children
Some of my last messages with those people were them telling me that they had succeeded in doing so
Content I created and curated still circulates on /pol/ to this day and right wing circles
Not a single person from that era knows my real name and every article that managed to quote me directly quoted a moniker I wore
I regret ever going down that road and every couple of years I think about it and I have to confess somewhere anonymously to ease my need to get it off my chest and repent
I am genuinely sorry because I know I caused fear and hate in hundreds of people, if not thousands
The other day I saw a video going over groups that had sprung up over the past 15 years and I saw content I made and it made me throw up
If there is a hell I am bound for it

>>43799029
Did you write the stuff for for the precursor to RTTL, whatever the name of that movement was, I can't remember. It had lots of generals and well made PDF documents I may have some still.
Being a notsee doesn't mean being evil though anon, just caring for your people as everyone naturally does.

>>43799029
Now THAT's a confession. I'm rock hard over here, god damn.

>>43799070
No, I believed movements like RTTL were shams and would just impoverish the people involved.
The logistics of creating a secondary economy meant they were dependent on outside sources of income, and their spiritual influence from Orania was dreadful. Orania was a failed idea full of poor, young people that constantly recycled culture or imported the culture the Oranians tried to get away from. RTTL's compound, funded and theory crafted by a crypto scammer would be no different.
The people I encouraged to go rural were acting autonomously and near enough to major cultural hubs that their children wouldn't grow up useless and asocial. They could get higher education, commute into the city for trades jobs, and still be self sufficient enough to make a difference.
It wasn't anything major in that case, but it was successful and it kept the people that did it from going insane from isolation and broken window fallacy spending on building something without modern amenities.

>>43799112
Oh okay, what was this project you were apart of then?

>>43799029
>>43799112
post letters

It's cool that nazinon gets to make the world a worse place then slither off into obscurity

>>43799176
Letters? Like what we are? I'm T. I'm just using this flag for identification.

>>43799170
No comment
>>43799176
MTF

This is my last post. Do right by others. I did bad things and spent years paranoid that they would one day catch up with me. In the mean time I helped deradicalize and reform over a dozen men. I do not deserve the peace I've had and if one day it catches up with me it will be Dostoevsky-esque.

>>43799181
Probably a larp
>>43799195
Of course it just had to be a nazi troon.

>>43799195
I'm erect-esque.
I want to see you forced back into your old lifestyle.
The misery porn would coax infinite loads from my heavy balls.

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I wish you and your mom didn't import me to hick country after... The incident. You should've told me to get fucked and left me to die. Yet you brought me into your house and I ended up coming and going for four years. Four years too many. I'm gone now, but it sucks. You have some ability to pull both chasers and trannies from all over the world. You have some charm that convinces these people to drive or fly to see you, date you for two weeks, then you break it off with them. That's your problem, but I miss being able to befriend those people after you were done with them.
Now that I'm gone, I have no idea how to meet people or socialise. I'm arguably more interesting than you, but somehow you're still a people magnet. I can't even convince someone to drive 50km to see me. Maybe it's me being uglier. I'm old now though. I don't think I can improve it. I wish the headaches would cease, so I can go out and enjoy life, and maybe try with a clearer head.

I have done it again. I have sacrificed pork into the fire. The fire of my ancestors. The fire of my passion. Please Jesus forgive me for my pagan Roman goddess upbringing. I know my neighbor hates American Irish hooliganry, especially when it comes to Celtic Roman tom boyish LARPing.

Also, if you could please, provide me with enough money to pay for gas this summer, Jesus, even though I have wronged you with this pork sacrifice in the fires of my ancestors.

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I’m a straight guy who’s never had a girlfriend before (almost 40 yo), and i met this woman on the internet. I just followed the woman’s order to kneel to her while i was wearing a bra and petticoat. I have zero masculinity, i possess no power in my relationship whatsoever. I just get bossed around by a woman who lives halfway across the world, she takes all my money, humiliates me, and calls it “a relationship”

I’m not transgender, AGP, or anything, I’m practically asexual (never had a sexual fantasy in my life) and just really weak-willed and desperate for women’s approval

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Back in ~2016 I met the little people after I did a four day fast. they took me through a vent in my house into their realm, told me to learn the language, that it'll help me and the world, then showed me things from what was the future back in 2016 like all those church burnings in canada in 2021

>>43792018
I go through waves of completely loving my gf and wanting to spend the rest of my life with her and then suddenly wanting to break up with her and be with a guy instead and idk what’s wrong with me and it’s always so intense both ways. We’re both mtf and have been together for a year

>>43799181
if it makes you feel better im in on a lot of things in Indian Territory i cant talk about anywhere without fucking glowies showing up

>>43800015
not nazinon btw just a diff smarter activist

i'm way too verbally neurotic, but also a people pleaser because the first one pushes everyone away. i debase myself for horrible people just for their approval and the hopes that they'll continue wanting to spend time with me. i have no self confidence, and no one wants to be around me because of it, in spite of my efforts to appeal to them. who wants to pity or take care of a whining manchild? what a wretched sod i am. i have a long list of people from my past that i think of everyday. i can't just acknowledge they mean nothing anymore being that they're no longer in my life; can't just do what everyone else does and say fuck them, they don't matter, move on.

>>43792018
i hope when i kill myself no one says any of that bs about how they are so surprised

>>43799029
I've been lurking this board for a few years now, and this is my villain origin story.
I was a pretty socially underdeveloped and poorly emotionally regulated kid, probably could be clocked as autistic if i got tested until i figured out how to talk to people in uni. Starting at like 7, i started getting molested by my cousin for a few years, we're both guys. He showed me gay and straight porn, and i started telling my classmates what porn was and caused a bunch of them to get into a bunch of weird shit like nugget porn. At some point his younger brother got involved, and we got discovered and the family covered it up.
when i was like 12, i got SA's by a guy in my class on a week long trip to the capitol, and i lowkey got into it for a few nights until i got cold feet. i also ended up getting shortly involved again with both my older cousin, and ended up SA'ing a different much younger cousin and got caught by my family, covered up again. my best friend at the time showed me /b/ and i rabbitholed pretty hard into MAGA /pol/ right wing bullshit because of my conservative dad and 2016 election meme bullshit. I also kinda lurked /g/ and /a/, and i got addicted to lolicon porn and couldnt swear it off. From then until i was like 16, i started shitposting in right wing discords (which after looking back are in some EU reports for extremism). for a few months until I pretty much got figured out as underage and immature, somehow got groomed by a bisexual nordic guy, and then got bullied out and partially doxxed after simping for an egirl. As i fell out of the entire online sphere of started becoming more sociable and emotionally mature, I started to feel an unrepentable guilt towards how fucked my life has been, and for a significant portion of it i was aware enough of the consequences but couldn't control myself. there are few days since I haven't wanted to kill myself from the guilt, but you shouldn't feel bad for me.
>1/2

>>43800390
Since then, and especially while i was in uni i started deradicalizing myself and getting more progressive. I found out i was bisexual and got into a major situationship with a toxic narcissist pickme boy, then picked myself from the depression and made tons of new friends. since i graduated, I didnt have much luck in the job market for the first few months and have been lying to everyone since so I can take time to NEET out and try and find myself.
at the start of the year, I started taking ozempic type drugs, and the weight loss really finalized my realization that i'm not just a normal guy. I dont think I'm a troon and I want to start taking estrogen to see what it'll do to my body, but I dont really know what I want. last month i started coming out as masc non binary, but i really dont know where im going. I'm finally starting therapy soon for all my fucking issues, but I'm afraid they'll mandated reporter me and I'll actually have something on my background checks and be fucked for life.

I fucking miss you
nobody else interests me like you do

>>43800049
have you gotten diagnosed or treated for BPD? maybe you should do some research anon, might give you some real solace if true, you can develop some coping skills.

>>43792018
I fucking hate other queers.

've spent my life looking for somewhere I fit in and thought I always felt like an outsider because I was gay but turns out I don't fit in with other gay/trans people either

>>43799733
Is she hot? Gimme her contact info, I could use some of that money.

>>43800022
Horse

>>43792018
I'm a straight male, but I used to cross dress and dream of being a tranny. This stopped, but then I became a chaser. I went on a date with a tranny once and it was the worst mistake of my entire life. Now when I think of fucking a tranny I remember that day and remember it's not worth it

>>43801280
What happened on the date, anon?

>>43801287
They didn't pass as well as I thought they would have, and it was just awkward the whole time because I wanted to leave after realizing I'm straight

>>43801304
You still like trannies just not ugly ones.

Just send me a sign

>>43801327
Yeah, honestly if they were white it would probably be a different story