How are you doing Anons?Has there been any negative developments in your lives you want to post into the void or commiserate about?Here's the thread for it
ive been holding a blade now like an hour trying to decide to cut or not
>>43808555me when my name is sweeney todd and my victim is very eepy
>>43808534im 22 and ive never worked a day in my life, should i start robbing white people so i can finally buy the things i want?
I'm scared that my relationship with my girlfriend is deteriorating. I've felt very sidelined, I suppose.
>>43808534I’m miserable for no real reason. There is nothing that justifies it.
>>43808555I hope you can decide against it anon, I'm feeling the same way just not holding one, but maybe we can both work through it. Good luck on your end >>43808591Why specifically white people? Also, it's probably better not to, can you get minimum wage job you'd absolutely hate just for experience? Fast Food, Door greeter, or some shitty non-min wage like trades apprentice, oil rig, go to welder school, anything like that?>>43808605I'm sorry Rist, I hope you two can talk and work through it>>43808623Why do you feel there's no reason? Do you have every thing you've ever dreamed of? Anything to challenge you in life?
>>43808534A third doctor told me he thinks i have estrogen resistance to a certain degree, and honestly if thats true im done w life
>>43808634>I hope you can decide against iti think i waited long enough so the feeling kind of went away but idk evn if i dont do it rn im going to do it tomorrow so whats the point
>>43808634honestly i just need a couple thousand dollars so a no effort night shift fast food job or something like that would be perfect but they never answer me back most likely because i have no experience or something. something where i have to learn and take time is not for me and i was just joking i wouldnt rob white people.
>>43808634There isn’t a challenge in my life that warrants the intensity of this feeling. I live a fine life. My problems are made up and I should be content with things.I have a hard time imagining myself being happy even if I had everything a person could ever want.
I'm fucking tired of working I've been working for like 9 years all of my socialisation is fucking customer service so I suck at approaching people or dating or literally anything. I'm a fucking weirdo jeez. I'm so tired.
i won't be with my angel after death, i won't ever see him again. i'm going to die alone without him. he's the only reason i'm even still alive. i'll never see him again, i'll never see his art or hear his voice or read his words. i'm so sad i can't breathe or sleep. i think about suicide almost every second of my day now but i'm so afraid of death. i'm so afraid of leaving my angel. i could end my life right now but i haven't because i'm a massive coward. i hate being such a coward. i need to kill myself but it's so difficult. my death is as much a failure as my life. i can't even delude myself into believing that he would want me alive anymore. i wish i could selflessly find joy in his safety, but i don't even know if he's safe. i worry about him constantly. i don't even know why i'm still complaining. i'm just so depressed. i miss my angel so much. he was all i had. i would give anything to talk to him again.
>>43808726same but i worked 10 years then quit and dont even have savings from it got nothing from it just feel like i wasted my life
the worst thing is, there haven't even been any particularly negative developments, its just endlessly the same old "bad" trending, with nothing new.i continue to decay as the few friends i have left show up less and less often as they move on with their lives, making new and more interesting friends.i'm so cooked, so mentally ill that i genuinely want to attempt to get disability, but i highly doubt i'd be able to get it. i'm an unemployed shut-in. it sucksalso, fr, yet another pride month without a manmoder/hrt repper flag?>>4380859128 and only worked for like 8 months, part time, a decade ago.i just resorted to wanting less things, it's easier that way imo>>43808643>estrogen resistance to a certain degreeif you haven't, try different e methods. i believe its actually very common for trans women to have difficulty metabolizing e in pill form, while injections tend to have that issue less.
>>43808643I hope it's not true for your sake. I don't know anything about estrogen resistance, but I hope there's some sort of workaround>>43808657I don't think just because it didn't happen today means it's a guarantee tomorrow or in future. I'm glad the feeling went away and I'm proud of you>>43808682What about seasonal work in future? places like amazon always hire people in winter and end of summer for prime day, it's super physical work but is another option to tryGood luck and I hope one place will answer you and get you a job>>43808699I meant more a lack of challenge causing a lack of fulfillment in your life. Severe depression or trauma can cause someone to belittle their own problems and not be able to imagine being happyWhy do you think yours are made up?>>43808726I'm sorry, customer service sucks, it's honestly hellish that society is all work forever once you are old enough to workI hope you can find a way to socialize with some people regardless, such as online
>>43808741I'm not getting anything from it either. Financially, I'm on very thin ice. My company offers no career progression and I don't think anybody that I was hired with still works there. Churn and burn. Every job is like this these days. I don't know where to go or what to do anymore. I cry sometimes. I wish I weren't alone, I wish I had something to work towards... some motivation. I wasted the good years of my life slaving away, and sure someone will come along and tell me that I still have a life ahead of me, but seeing how it's going, I'll waste the years ahead of me too.
>>43808733i'm sorry you'd lost someone thats causing you this much strife. I really hope you can find something to help and bring you joy again. In the case of suicide I think cowardice is a good thing, even if it ultimately hurts so much, I wish you best>>43808741I'm sorry, same as I said to other anon it's truly hellish. I wish there was some sort of escape>>43808794Friends leaving sucks, they move on when you feel stuck where you are. It's a grindstone that wears you down, having the same old same old happen constantly. I hope if you do apply you can get disability. >>43808833Companies are ran by psychopaths without any regard for anything but profit. Ceo's having the highest rate of Dark triad traits of any 'career'. I hope you can find a job that will atleast give you fulfillment and a goal to work towards rather than the one you have
>>43808822>I'm glad the feeling went away and I'm proud of younvm i cutted sorry and imade you say youre proud of a disgusting trash like me your feelings are just wasted but at least im bleeding and hurting
>>43808866>I hope you can find a job that will atleast give you fulfillment and a goal to work towards rather than the one you have.I don't know if thatll happen apparently it's not ok to be autistic once you're 25. I'm a bit awkward and everyone turns me away even if I'm qualified.
>>43808875They're not wasted, even if for a moment, you had put it off. You let it cross your mind to put it away and have tomorrow insteadyou're not disgusting trash>>43808946I'm sorry to hear, alot of autistic people have a hard time getting past interviews but then excel at the job itself. It's a shame that a giant social test sits before you and a job, I'm sorry
can you give me a hug please
>>43808980I'm in hell and I have no obsidian
>>43809019of course anon>>43809024even when you have no obsidian there's a way out and a path through it allBartering with piglins or finding ruined portals to mine, it can be ok
>>43809098I may have bartered all of my gold away and my pickaxe is broken.
>>43809114Nether fortress or bastion loot for material with warped trees for wood
>>43809124God damnit all this new nether shit. I'm an oldfag it's 2013.
300 days, 4 days short of 10 full monthsTime wasted for comfort I don't deserveFor self-sabotage because it's all I can doThrown away so many good opportunities, so many times to have gone, but failed or chickened outCan't be a good friend, can't be a good person, can't be a good partner, can't be a good human beingI wish I could go deeper, I wish i could be a good person, I wish I'd been dead instead of the people I've lostI deserve to bleed out but I won't let it happen
the course of my life has beaten me down so severely that i no longer have any goals or aspirations. when i try to picture the future i see nothing. i dont know what to do with myself, im completely directionless. i just continue wasting time and waiting for my life to be over.
>>43809155There's always a light at the end of the tunnel or a silver lining anon, I'm sorry if you can't see it>>43809190Can you try to find interests or things to work towards? Short term goals that don't rely on vague ideals years into the futureI'm sorry life has beaten you down so bad anon
>>43809212I've been traversing this tunnel for five years, there hasn't been a single lumen of light.
>>43809251I'm sorry anon
I'm' such a broken individual
The board is full of shit today
>>43808534i am an ugly disgusting transvestite. despite being a youngshit, i still do not pass. i have not come out to anyone in that time frame, i really really just want to end my life as soon as possible. i wish i could cut deeper LOL!!!!!!!!!! i should really kill myself #ROFL
>>43809386Pride month and higher activity than the usual max lets alot more low effort inAlong with summer and pride bringing chuds sadly>>43809401I don't think you should, I'm sorry you don't pasyou say you're a youngshit, how long on hrt?
>>43808534no. i am happy about my life. my life is going great. and tomorrow i am going to work with a girl i have a crush on. so its gonna be great
>>43809537Feels like this shithole is never going to get better
>>43808634Why would u capitalize anything but the race/ethnicity of White
I dont wanna do this anymore. I want to be normal. All you ever did was tell me to be straight, tell me to be straight, you have to like girls. Well now I like girls and I want a girlfriend a real girlfriend. I know im stuck and can't do anything about it.
>>43809541That's awesome anon! I'm happy for you>>43809580maybe not but, gonna end up using it anyway>>43809758I'm just on my phone, the real question is why i capitalized food and door out of anything>>43809838Sad image. I might be too tired, I don't fully understand but I hope you can find happiness you need, i'm sorry
i ate a bunch of cinnamon donuts even tho cinnamon makes me sick and then i ate the powder at the bottom too and now my tummy hurts :(
oh fuck the longer i dont cut my hair the more drastic it will be if i do which means i cant oh shit we are locked in
saw some smol boymoder and then became even more aware of how giant and ogreish i am stomping up the street. then looked in a window at my reflection and wanted to jump under the next car that passed. im a literal caricature. my head is so giant my shoulders so comically big, by racing around in horrible horrible posture to hide my conical man boobs 2 metres apart on my elon musk lawnmower barrel chest. KMS. I just wanted a coffee because I couldn't sleep last night and i i have to be viscerally reminded of this all on my way back in my 20s. If i wasn't completely non visibly trans due to being so masculine she would have probably snapped a secret pic and put me in 50 different discords to be made fun of and turned into a hon compilations shining jewel.
i can't even vent properly because im literally on zero sleep literally kill me please
>>43808534I failed the training for the job I want, have to repeat it in the start of next year, after I complete the reapplication process. Need to keep living with my mom for a lot longer than expected cuz of that :/
>>43808591i don't want anything
>>43808534i broke up with someone for political reasons and ive been regretting it ever since, but i dont think i could rekindle the connection because all of my friends would be extremely pissed off at me. it's also embarrassing to talk about because i didn't even know him that long and haven't been broken up with him that long either. but i guess i never stopped being a teenager.
>>43809838me on the left as a desparate transbian dating manmoders and lateshits
>>43811058what political reasons
>>43809838>>43809885
>>43808534Been feeling shitty. Stopped smoking weed and coming to face that im not really living, just spend all day inside with my cat. Both roommates have gfs and go out and do stuff. Transitioning helped hate myself less but been thinking abt how even when im with my friends i feel lonely. And wishing my creative projects were more than just mid
>>43808726I feel you its like slow constant poison damage that chips parts of you away over the years
just gonnawhine and bitch a little here cause i dont wanna bother folks that know memy gf did some pretty not great stuff to me years ago and i should probably forget it but it just cant, its only been getting worse latelyand i cant uhh up and leave cause last time i nearly did she almosthurt herself real bad to say the leastnowdays she judt kinda uhhi dont really get any time to myself to thinki kinda feel just disgusting about it all and just kinda let her do whatever but its been just eating at me worse and worse, ive had days where ive woken up straight into a panic attackits been affecting work to the point that my boss is telling me to take a leave of absence so i dont get firedidunnoits probably my own fault in some ways likeim not exactly the most mentally well person eitherstuff just aint amazingsorry foridunno yeah
>>43811066he is a nazi. i regret it because he was basically the perfect boyfriend dropped in my lap, except for that.
>>43811130Anon you should leave, even if it seems like she'll do something bad she prob wont actually go through with it
>>43811131Good reason to leave imo
>>43811143ive just had to directly prevent it beoforeidunnoand now we live together which makes all of that a million times harderidunnothis is still my first relationship and such and even though its been years and stuff if i left id probably justnever date againand i justii cant like risk her doin bad
>>43811170I know its rough but youll never truely get a chance to live freely if you dont take that risk and leave. My partner in my first big relationship did this sort of thing and i have never regretted leaving. And they are still alive today
>>43811151definitely! i'm still never going to be happy about it, though. maybe he will contact me in a few years and be an ardent leftist instead.
>>43808534my ex left me and didn’t really tell me why just that she couldn’t handle a relationship rni was doing fine for a while and then i upped my bupropion dosage and it all got me at once and i had a panic attack and suddenly felt like she found some guy who didn’t wanna be a woman and i couldn’t stop shaking and i dmed her brother who still followed me on socials and she didn’t even say anything about it she really doesn’t care about me after a year together it’s driving me insane
>>43811182Yeah you never know, some ppl turn around. Sorry you had to let go of someone you cared about though
>>43811191Do everything you can to distract yourself from her, that sounds terrible anon. It goes away with time but i understand that insanity feeling
>>43811176yyeahmaybe at some pointi just gotta likeidunnowork up the courage for even thatlike ive been even just been trying to see a psych for months and keep uhhgetting terrified and just notthis is orobably the same sorta thing justgotta get over myself and do iteven if itsalot
>>43811203thank you, i’ve been through this before but it’s just as awful every time i hate it :<i try to ignore it with everything i can but it gets really bad before bed
>>43811232Once you get that courage you'll feel a weight lifted off your shoulders i promise
>>43811239I totally get that... before bed is when all my regrets hit. Still see some exs in dreams lol. I hope you're able to fall asleep and feel better in the morning
>>43808534not gonna be able to land a kickflip before i die, im such a posER
>>43811246mmhmilltry to at least work on it somehoping that somehow getting myself to therapy will at least make me a bit less justterrified of everything but gonna get that sorted firstbutthank youalotfor the kind words and all
>>43811276Ya ofc, i hope you're able to get in a better spot
>>43810292Anon don't do that, that's dumbYou're not dumb, I understand maybe you really wanted cinnamon donuts but the powder isnt worth it>>43810312Are you wanting it long or short? If you're fine with it being long why worry about how drastic a short cut will be>>43810977I'm real sorry nona, you're likely being a little harsh on yourself at the least, but I hope you can have hope. Dysphoria sucks and idk your situation, but I hope it gets better>>43810987Please sleep, not sleeping is one of the most destructive habits>>43810995That sucks, I hope you make it next timeis there any way to train or study for whatever it will be?
>>43811058>>43811131Are you the anon that made the thread about this? Sucks if he was really that great of a bf, but besides being a nazi, political disagreements of that degree or alienating really can exacerbate relationship issues and friendships>>43811070ty this is better>>43811074what kind of projects do you do anon? Coming to terms with not doing much is the first step into starting to leave the house and do more if you want to make that change
>>43811070what is really making him happy? he is just stuck with some failed tranny creature. what does he get out of it?
>>43813153>what does he get out of it?Her, as a unique individual
>>43811273i would teach u. i learned from those old skate mags that would do the frame by frame. just keep practicing its like an ollie with a limp wrist flick and slide but in your ankle. ez
>>43812065I used to write a ton of music, now ive been doing gamedev for a couple years. The gamedev been acting to fill the void of neetdom but the lonelyness be hitting lately
>>43812002>If you're fine with it being long why worry about how drastic a short cut will belong but not that long. idk i want a wolf cut but im not all the way there yet. and if its longer than shoulder length i have to put it up at work but its in that awkward stage. idk i think its gonna look really fem and rediculous put up in like 2 inches more when the back goes up in like a messy pony and the front is all bangs. like the front and sides look like bangs/fringe but the back curls out to the sides and looks goofy so i wanna trim the back so its all like one anime bowl for a bit longer while the bangs and sides grow out more but i also dont wanna do that bc then its like a statement that im still going for more length when i keep telling people ill cut it when summer starts and its already summer and i wanna dye it black so bad i hate how light it is but i cant bc im moided and also its finally long enough to hide my earbuds at work so i dont put it behind my ears but that makes me look like a teenage doofus with my hair in my eyes which is extremely stupid bc im old moided and balding going through a mid life crises trying to look like an emo girl
>>43815549That sounds cool, a few years you ever publish anything? or gamejam or stuff like that?Sorry the lonliness is hitting hard
>>43815583I put out a lil rpgmaker demo years ago, but then moved to 3d and made the mistake of attempting a very large project so im trying to see it through... thanks puffin
>>43812065yeah, i made that thread. it feels kind of silly to still be complaining about it, and to complain about it so soon, but i'm really upset!i do agree that it probably wouldnt work out. he wasn't interested in changing at all, and insisted that i would eventually be convinced. not a very stable foundation for a relationship...
>>43815571That's a rough spot then, can you trim the sides and bangs whole it grows so you can keep earbuds hidden and keep hair out of your face?>>43815613What, That's awesome! I hope you can finish that 3d one, sounds like a massive project but who knows maybe it'll go big one day. Good luck anon and dont mention it>>43815657It's not silly to ask for advice for your pain. He was good to you, just not good.I hope you can find someone who treats you the same without being a nazi or smth
>>43811060:(
i wish i had any friends i feel so so alone
