>introverted, feminine boy>bullied for reading and playing the "wrong" games>sisters could be themselves, I couldn't without being attacked>dad constantly suspected I was gay and blocked me from dating (second-order consequence is I never learned how to drive, etc.), sisters could date as they pleased>mom abusive and adulterous and nothing is done about it>puberty>lost almost all friends because they thought I was gay, got in trouble with school admin for same reason>become severely depressed and anxious>trooned out as an adult in vain attempt to escape being a "worthless male" because girls and women have so much more freedom and aren't attacked for existing in the first world>dysphoria played minor role>eventually pass but not a real woman (including trans woman), still traumatized and severely delayed by male socialization>can't escape no matter what Is there any other option besides killing myself at this point? Everyone else is actually a person and living much fuller lives than I. Because I made dumb mistakes as a teenager I'm being punished worse than violent criminals for existing. It feels hopeless.
>>43824542>male socializationyou didnt get that you got the faggot socialization retard
>eventually passedfuck you
>>43824550>you didnt get that you got the faggot socialization retardThat's still a branch of male socialization. Do you know what male socialization is? It's how society tries to raise up, train someone perceived as male to be a good male member of society. The normal guy conforms well to its expectations, Chad is rewarded for it, someone like me is punished in a vain attempt to get me to straighten up and fly right--"faggot socialization" is still male socialization. Not that it matters, but I'm not a faggot. I'm not actually gay. >>43824556Oh yeah, I meant to add "even trans women are really hostile to me, so I have no sense of community even among them."
>>43824542amnesia would fix u
>>43824542>bullied for reading and playing the "wrong" gamesName them.
>>43824562why are they hostile?also are theyfabs hostile to you? theyd enjoy your company i bet
>>43824562>chadwhat the hell is with the influx of people unironically using the term chad lowkirknuely weird
>>43824579hey tourist
>>43824562this is a false etiology. "faggot socialization" comes about bc chad wants to fuck you and hates himself for it so it comes out as "YOURE A FIXKIING FAGET" (i.e., as projection)
>>43824542me but I moided out before trooning out >.>
>>43824579Silence foid
>>43824573>>43824573bet one of them is pokemon. got the same treatment
>>43824542I wanna hug you and you everything will be okay. Seek a better environment, please. You need to surround yourself with wholesome people.
>>43824573I was bullied for playing fucking *Pokemon* in the late 2000s and early 2010s, because CoD and New Vegas were what mature gamers played. Unironically that radicalized me in that it made me realize "normality" and "acceptability" are totally arbitrary, because now it would be fine to like such a thing (and a few years prior too), even for an adult. >>43824574>why are they hostile?A myriad of reasons. >pass (therefore viewed as evil)>got surgeries (therefore viewed as evil)>like Problematic Fiction (therefore I'm really XYZ)>not actually trans (therefore lumped in with femboys who simultaneously aren't real and are real and are Hitler, despite having a grand total of zero right-wing beliefs)>not attracted to women (gynephilia is a moral immperative, viewed as a gender traitor, basically)>not attractive to women (trans women have very little incentive to befriend me if I'm not sexually desirable)>don't have any tranny hobbies so I'm automatically the odd one out >don't have or want a vagina (therefore not a trans woman to begin with)>>43824579I'm not saying I subscribe to the notions wholesale, I'm just using it as shorthand because if I am too verbose I will get hit with "not reading all that" or ignored. Sorry I didn't account for all the intricacies. >>43824596I assure you I didn't get that, I wasn't attractive until my mid 20s.
>>43824628love yourself NOWYes a lot of irl trans spaces can be like that. I think the best thing is to just distance yourself from them. They're there for those who need them but you've graduated out.
>>43824628>I assure you I didn't get that, I wasn't attractive until my mid 20saccording to whom? your bully, chad, who wants to fuck you and hates himself for it? the boy who called me an ugly pedo when i was 11 tried to force his dick into my mouth a year later
>>43824679>according to whom?Wasn't something I was told it was just obvious. To put things in perspective, at my most desperate used dating apps and got zero hits. Even gay men have never liked me.>your bully, chad, who wants to fuck you and hates himself for it? the boy who called me an ugly pedo when i was 11 tried to force his dick into my mouth a year laterI'm sorry that happened.
>>43824714what was so unattractive about you?
>>43824730Would rather not say
>>43824650Regarding this, it has made me reflect that a lot of trans spaces are for those for whom "transitioning" is everything (setting 'access to sex/relationships' aside). There seems to be a lot less use if one has integrated as a woman period
>>43825338That and they're for dating other trans people.
>>43824542Can we be friends anon?
>>43824556god gives his passiest circumstances to his cissiest trannies
>>43824579chad looksmaxxing etc already leaked into the normiesphere nona, it's hilarious seeing the normgroids using incelspeak
>>43824550That's not how it works.He was treated as a flavor of male, not a different sex.
>>43824542>An autist doesn't fit in with other boys>Think he'd fit in with other girls if he was a girl>Troons outMany such cases!
>>43824628You sound like, really ideal desu. Don't kill yourself. Someone can make you happy and you can make them happy
>>43824542ok
trooning out
>>43824542this post actually made me seethe
>>43824542I'll fuck the boy out of you
I need to find the courage to get on edtrogen for looksmaxxing.I have drank 300ml of 40% whiskey and about 2 things of 1.5 l mountain dew as well as 2L of just water. Tho. So i kight be not in the right mindset.
>>43824542You should watch this OP. It really helps to hear the experiences of people with similar stories, and your story is very similar to this one.
Apologies to OP for shitting up hid thread i'm a sad alcoholic repper.Like i actually do apoligize and need to do better. It's hard to change. I need to mix up my routine. Your situation sounds tough. You should focus on getting a small number of true friends who will have your back no matter what and work from there.
>>43830775Wait till you find out how hard it is to actually get estrogen. Trust me, the safety rails are well and truly enough to keep drunken autists off the E.
>>43830818We have informed consent kekw..i've always been 2 weeks away from e.And even then theres other stuff like taking better care of my health. Diet, exercise. Even if i choose to be a moided man i'm basically killing myself one day at a time living how i do rn.
I wish i hadnt dumped my dutasteride into the toilet when i got drunk last night. Now im gonna be bald.
>>43830834I have informed consent. Trust me when I tell you it's going to take a LOT longer than 2 weeks. I had to go to 12 doctors before I found one who would start HRT, I had to have three sessions and I had to be on an anti-androgen for 8 weeks before she would prescribe a hondose of gel. It was actually easier to just get diagnosed which is what I did so that no doctor could ever deny me hormones ever again.
>>43824542>I'm a tranny That's what's wrong with you.
>>43830851Fuuuck
>>43830851Fuuuckk
>>43824550>you got the faggot socialization retard......which is male
>>43830851Surely you're trolling
>>43824542one day being a male won't be a shitty experience any longer, and then trannies will go extinct.
>>43830866>>43830877>>43830905Get started. It is a painful fucking wait let me tell you. And the stress that's going to cause you is going to aggitate you and you need to be able to keep that under control or they won't treat you.
>>43830921But i already googled a clinic and they day its lgbt friendly and they just give blank scripts that you take to the endo for hrt.Are you trolling me so i stop repping snd get on it asap by exaggerating the wait time even WITH informed consent.
>>43830942"lgbt friendly" doesn't mean shit when a full grown man walks through the door and a bunch of feminist lesbians and theyfabs are the entire admin staff. If that clinic is Bendigo, stay the fuck away btw, that place is a fucking nightmare. And endos don't treat without a psych eval. Their business is diabetics, not trannies. The endo guidlines were written in 2004 when it was still Gender Identity Disorder and "50% of adolescents will experience regret" or some shit. And you're going to be waiting a couple of months to even get an appointment at that clinic btw. Shit got better, but it's a long way from good, and informed consent was really just a way for cissoids to pat themselves on the back for being "allies".
>>43830979>And you're going to be waiting a couple of months to even get an appointment at that clinic btw.Nah thats deadass two weeks.They might be grifting but the website says that they give you a valid script WITH the goal being to get you on hormones asap and theres only 2-3 of those in the entire country so it seems real it seems legit.
>>43830997Good luck then. But as a general rule going forward, "lgbt friendly" means either a bunch of manhating foids trying to smash patriarchy by being shit at their jobs, or some corpo bullshit that senior management put on the website.
>>43831016>>43831016Aw.
>>43831022That said, I regret nothing. My journey was rough, but boy am I happy I made it. You don't even realize how much pain your in until it's gone.
>>43831063You made me puke from stress by sharing that but i guess its bwtter to know the truth
>>43827432I'm actually not autistic.
>>43824542same life story more or less felt the same way and transitioned for the same reasons but i managed to got over it & regained my capacity for happiness & interpersonal relationshipshere's the deal, friend, there's nothing hopeless about your life, there's nothing even that special about it. you just got abused & that's what's fucking up your emotionsthe only thing I've ever seen that's incompatible with happiness is an assumption that you're worse off than everyone else or that the universe is out to get you in particularso work on that. it's easy to escape actually, especially w/ pretty privilege. find out what it is that you want as proof that you're not worthless, haggle yourself down to something achievable, & just go out & achieve it. & if you think you're too socially stunted then just accept that you're underinformed & don't know what other people are thinking instead of assuming that they hate youi can tell from your posts that you're perfectly intelligent & capable of being liked, you just have to not let your defensive instincts get ahead of you
>>43824542Escape what? You wanted the benefits of being a woman, do you not get them now that you are perceived as one? My story is kind of similar despite doing it earlier/being a hideous hon, but I got what I wanted out of it and have a husband who doesn't mind me being a useless autistic shutin.
>>43831438Idk, I'm annoying and stunted. I've never met anyone, even those who love me, who didn't find me annoying.>>43831731Women are generally much more social than men are and have much less masculine interests than I.
>>43824542>got in trouble with school admin for same reasonwhere do you live
>>43824628>bullied for not playing new vegasthe more things change the more they stay the same...
>>43833661Have you ever done things out of kindness or concern for others, ever? Serious question.
>>43833704At the time in the US South in the late 2000s/early 2010. >>43833796Yes and usually those backfire.
