>>43827109
i hate it when my mother claims she loves me

I'm extremely transphobic and want all transgender people violently forced off of cross sex hormones forever but I have NO desire to have sex with a trans person, or become one myself, at all.

after my ex broke up w me and cheated on me i used to think and touch myself to the thought of him doing it in front of me,, been three years and still do sometimes, ama

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There is nothing to confess. It's all just cold, dead, uncaring matter. Your emotions are just meaningless reactions created by your body, no different from a burp or a headache. Reply to this post or your mother will die in her sleep tonight

>>43827357
are u ok anon

>google "hoags object"
>stony tranny brain says "dude DUDE it's a universe-wide halo installation"

>>43827383
>stony
do u mean stoned? or is it like calcifying

>>43827401
calcifying from being stoned for 15 years

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>Beautiful roses to add to our red flags
I wish they were roses, roses are classic, beautiful, played to death but death is pretty.
Besides, we want to be better, and, in alot of ways... We're scared you might be one of the few ways we could ever become better..

>>43827109
everyday i feel like ghosting you but am prevented by you messaging me at the right time

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>>43827361
I'm afraid that question doesn't make any sense. While misery, happiness, love, hate have qualia, any reaction to those qualia is subjective and thus arbitrary. I could, of course, answer "yes, I am okay", but perhaps the emotions I'm referring to by the term "okay" (in this case really a value judgement) could refer to emotions that would be socially and generally considered "bad" (also a value judgement)

I hate heterosexuals.

>>43827526
>I am intellectualizing because I am not okay.
what's going on nona?

>>43827532
Trannies are also homophobic assholes that are either heterosexuals pretending they are lesbians or gay men, or they are gay men and lesbians that want to be heterosexuals of the opposite sex, so I hate them too.

>>43827547
I have reached a point in my life where I know that nothing will ever make me happy

>>43827596
if emotions are meaningless, why do you care about being happy? this seems like the pickle rick cope

>>43827109
parents went on a rant about trans healthcare and the damage hormones can do for the third day in a row. they don't know i've been taking estrogen for months now

>>43827614
Because I don't actually believe that emotions are meaningless, I want to have a good life and not be miserable for once. But that's not something that's possible for me. I guess I'm trying throw out every last piece of meaning in a vain attempt to feel nothing about anything (i.e., cope)
But it doesn't matter. It'll all be over soon, be it in a couple of months or in 60 years

>>43827696
>I want to have a good life and not be miserable for once. But that's not something that's possible for me
did something specific happen, or is this baseline?

>>43827681
They're worried about you.

>>43827728
Something bad happened 7 years ago and I never recovered and I don't think I ever will. I have become cynical, pessimistic and negative to such a degree that there isn't a single thing I can actually enjoy. I look at my dog being happy and playing outside, and all I can think of is death. I see an old couple on the street, and all I can think of is how miserable he's going to be when she shits and pisses all over the hospital bed and finally dies in agony. I don't tell people IRL that I think this way, or only under a guise of sarcasm. I'm repulsed when I wake up again every morning, but there's nothing I can do. I used to have ambitions but they're all meaningless and stupid and I was naive to ever chase them, because I see now that they're meaningless and stupid and wouldn't make me happy, just like the goals I did achieve didn't make me happy.
IDK I usually don't say these things out loud because there's no point and no solution and it just ruins people's mood. If only they (You) knew how bad things really are

>>43827954
have you ever read schopenhauer?

>>43827740
i don't think it's me they're worried about. i was the one who told them i had dysphoria, and went to therapy for it, but they're still talking about how they think my younger brother is going to troon out when he hasn't shown any signs whatsoever. reminds me that i'm the failed experiment of our family

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>>43827109

>>43827975
I've read bits and pieces of World as Will... and I'm somewhat familiar with his philosophy from secondary sources (Will Durant, Jonas Ceika, etc). Why

>>43828358
he is an excellent copist. he pointed out that only optimists can become cynical, because pessimists have a low expectations to begin with
>Will Durant, Jonas Ceika
i was going to make a snide remark about "how bold the comma" but then i remembered durant has the depth of a 20th century youtuber

It wasn't your little brother who stole that last Zagnut, it was me. If I had known what it meant to you I never would have done it. I can't un-eat the bar, nor can I ever tell you the truth even though it has ruined your relationship with your brother..
In the future I will be more mindful of your Zagnuts, but I cannot undo the damage that has been done.

lmao who the FUCK eats zagnuts

>>43828409
okay

>>43828511
so if you were more PESSIMISTIC you would be less CYNICAL and maybe you'd least be able to enjoy your time with your dog like schopenhauer did

>>43828540
okay I'll be more pessimistic. I believe that everything just goes black forever when we die, rendering every disgusting, reprehensible or even selfless act meaningless. But I'll update that to believing that we all go to an unconditional place of extreme physical and mental torture forever, no matter what we do. Thanks

Did you know that tranny fuckers are trying to sublimate their tranny desires and tendencies by literally getting inside of trannies and using them as their cock sleeves?

>>43828605
ok well now you're being willfully obtuse. pessimism doesn't mean you just irrationally expect the worst possible situation and suffer about it. there is such a thing as cheerful pessimism

>>43828711
okay friendo

>>43827109
ive never told my therapist about this place

i had always considered myself to have some sort of fake gender dysphoria. nowadays im well into my adult life and i can hardly bear to hear my own voice or to hear anyone definitively refer to me as a "man" in some way. this is pathetic. why cant i live like a normal person. none of this should matter to me.

>>43827126
the threads for confessions, not for lies

I am territorial.
I am bitter.
I am jealous and desire to push my way into his eye.
But that is not what one does to be proper.
I relinquish myself to being proper in the hopes that obedience and reliability give reason to appreciate.
But all that has done is allow others to frolick in what should be mine.
He said he values enthusiasm and initiative.
He's already dismissed me before, I must take it gracefully and wait for my turn.
But how do I show enthusiasm without pushing myself onto him, and making me more of a burden.
I wish I was as magnetic as the others.
I wish I knew who to be for him.
Nevertheless, I will refine myself, if not for his image, for my own, as I've realized what a girl should be.
I hope I get the chance to be yours.

it's not just that I want you back
I want you, flaws and all

no one else is like you

I felt bad for my trans friend mtf, so I made out with them so they could feel better

>>43827146
>woman is cuck
next you'll tell me the sun rises from the east or something

>>43830387
time to try the woman thing nona, those are pretty clear signs

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>>43827109
Something something, woman I love is fucking a bunch of trannies that aren't me because I live nowhere near her and she hates ldr. Third time I've posted about this and still won't do anything about it other than kill myself eventually

>>43832158
balls and all

>>43832519
true

>>43832412
Why are you even thinking about that, I don't see what purpose that serves. I'm in love with someone who refuses to do ldr as well, the LAST thing I'm gonna think about is her sex life. Get a hobby.

>>43832626
Because I was literally told about it. You think I don't feel pathetic? I don't want to know about this

>>43832117
your writing style is so recognisable... i think, at least. even though you try to make yourself anonymous.
you deserve better than him, anyway, but i don't know how i'd convince you of that. you're right that you're better than the others. but you're wrong to think he is worth you.

I just wish I didn't care so much still, especially when you clearly don't since you got over me so fast and you're better off for it, and I can't blame or resent you no matter how much that hurts me for stupid and selfish reasons because it's the healthier and better outcome

I wonder how close she is to OD-ing on painkillers

>>43832117
Where the fuck is the girl who wants me like this

>>43833460
She's taking a fat shit rn and scrolling dating apps.

>>43833460
She's actually not that hard to find

>>43832937
Doubt it, at least, really hope not.
He is beneath me too.
I will become divine without him that I will become a god to you people.
He never would've picked me anyway, there are better devotions of my time, more importantly, to myself.
I will make him miss out far more than he ever could've made me feel.

>>43834308
yeah, i think know you. V? M? maybe i'm wrong. but you're right. i'm glad you recognise he is beneath you.
i hope you can ascend. you deserve so much more than you are given.

I've watched sissy hypno before and it was kind of hot. I don't get off on the humiliation angle or the idea that being a woman is somehow lesser, but pushing that to the side: the idea of being forced against my will into being a) a woman and b) sexually pleasing a man helps me with my internalised transphobia and homophobia

>>43834329
Guess you do, ugh, so it goes.

>>43834411
am i allowed to be a little proud of myself? and is it M?

>>43834440
In a way, better off saying the former though.
Kinda curious what gave it away.

>>43834450
i see, i thought it was a bit overconfident. but i felt like pushing my luck.
and i don't want to say here, because then other people will know.

>>43834468
Say elsewhere then.

>>43834474
i don't really want you to know who i was. i can if you really want me to though.

>>43834490
I do, some of us have questions