>be me>tell my mom with 6 years old that I think about being a girl>tell my mom I want to wear girls clothing with 7>cross dress in private since early teen>my mom found a skirt when I was 12 and down right asked me if I want to transition>feel scared and ashamed and say no>I don't know being trans exsits and you can take Hormones to look like a girl >only know of fetishits trough Media and srs>thought people like this get srs and you basically end up looking like a perverted man in womans clothing and the genitalia of a woman>cross dress even in school with 14>have profile pics of me in crossdress on every social media>change my name to a female version of my deadname on Facebook while befriended with my entire school on there>wanted to look like a girl and insane envy for people born amab that looked like girls>convinced it's just a fetish>convinced they are just lucky>if I would have known you can take fucking Hormones to look like a girl i would have done it in an instand>learn that hrt exsits and what it does with 20 fucking years old over reddit>want it in an instand>start hrt the same year>26 now and pass but stillHow the fuck are you supposed to deal with this shit? I could have been a youngshit. I could have been a gigapassoid. I literally tortured myself in school for nothing.
>>43832986why does it matter if you pass now? consider yourself lucky and move on, live your life. you're young and have so much ahead of you. why ruminate on mistakes you made in the past as a child?
>>43833084>why does it matter if you pass now?It doesn't but somehow i wanted to mention it>why ruminate on mistakes you made in the past as a child?Because maybe I could have been happier and less dysphoric and even more passable if I wasnt so stupid
>>43833106it won't do you any good to spend time regretting things that could have been but never were. it's better to just try to be happy in the present, don't you think?
>>43833106>maybe I could have beenYou're just still doing that same shit that got you repressed for your entire childhoodWhy do you think still doing that same thing is worth your time? You're reaching for a hot pan, just because you dropped it doesn't make it the right move. Find some other way to approach the thing and clean up after yourself, you made those mistakes as a child, stop deciding to do it all over again. It doesn't get you anything. I get the regret and all, but the only conceivable intent behind this thread is to wallow in regret and self pity. Stop. You're going to waste another 20 years at this rate.
>>43833265Thats a nice thought to have. It didn't help me then so its not gonna help me now. It's hard to know what conclusions to draw from this but you are right, the main reason for this thread was just to vent and maybe hear if someone else was just as stupid as me>>43833148Thats true but it's hard to do sometimes when your dysphoric about your body and wonder if things might be better of another way
>>43833511you're not stupid it's actually kind of stunning that no one ever told you about hrt. unlucky iggoes to show you can't just say troons are heccin validddd you have to actually educate people about how puberty works and that hrt exists
>>43833996It feels wierd to say this, since the political dabate is so against us right know but if I would have been better educated in school or if in TV you would see anything other than fetishists maybe I would have been a youngshit
>>43832986why do you write "with" instead of "when"???
