What does it mean if you wake up questioning why you're on HRT when you wake up but by the end of the day you've rationalized it and like it?I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and immediately get hit with a intense wave of dread making me question everything. I actually woke up at 4am today and wrote this for posterity: "What the hell is going on, why am I doing any of this? I'm clearly not trans and just ruining my life just because I don't feel human. If I keep transitioning, I'll eventually reach a point where I will have to socially transition, and that will never be something I'll be able to do. I'm not equipped for any of this. I should've just stayed a mildly depressed guy. There's no guarantee things won't improve that way, right? So they might as well improve actually. I probably haven't tried liking a man hard enough. After all, I'm well aware that I've only ever been a quitter, and that's probably also why I decided to transition. After all, real dysphoria is much much more excruciating. It can't be any other way"
>>43894585No idea. I've yet to have those thoughts myself. There has been some questions but that's more retracing my steps with just a touch of regression than doubt. I'm actually pretty aloof so it's kinda impressive I've managed to keep on top of my hormones. I suppose some things like transitioning are more than just being bored or a substitute for a hobby. Go figure. Anywho. Everything on 4chan is fake and gay so yeah.
>>43894639I can not understate just how much I envy you and or everyone free of these thoughts
>>43894725Nothing you should feel bad about tho. Everyone goes through their own paces. For me I spent so long rationalizing I was male I suppose I just don't have the room for that as a girl. Detatch the stone of shame and attach the stone of triumph. It's tougher but what things worth doing aren't, right?
>>43894780>For me I spent so long rationalizing I was maleMe too, and now I can't get rid of all those rationalizations. At this point I'm fully hylic, so I can't believe myself to be anything but a man, since that's all I see and hear>Detatch the stone of shame and attach the stone of triumph. It's tougher but what things worth doing aren't, right?I'm trying but failing for now. Any advice?
happens when i get high, but then like 5 minutes later im like whatevs
>>43895555The opposite happens to me when high. I basically depend on weed to keep my sanity at this point
>>43894585>What does it mean if you wake up questioning why you're on HRT when you wake up but by the end of the day you've rationalized it and like it?That somewhere deep down you realise how wrong it is and that it's not a solution to any of your problems and then to protect yourself from premature death by your own hand you start coping. Hope you get better, really.
>>43896606I hope I get better too, although that means being at peace with transitioning for me, and right now I'm anything but that
bump... did anyone struggle with this too?
>>43894585Sounds like a panic attack maybe. Try looking into those
>>43894585you are having night terrors and they aren't actually caused by the thing you think they're aboutthe human mind doesn't really know what to do with random unattached feelings of dread, so it will try to make them about something so that they make sense.
>least thinly veiled repper-kun thread
>>43898641I never knew that night terrors were a thing. That explains a ton to be honest
>>43898565Panic attacks kinda fit the my experience, although most of the time I don't feel like what I'm going through is enough to qualify as a panic attack >>43898641I really relate to the other anon saying that night terrors would explain a lot, although I'm still worried that there's more to it than just>>43898648This is not my first thread where you've called me that, and I still don't know who that is
>>43901064>I don't feel like what I'm going through is enough to qualify as a panic attackI'd assume it's a spectrum thing and not all of them result in you passing out like tony soprano, if you're seeing anyone professionally you should try bringing it up>This is not my first thread where you've called me that, and I still don't know who that iskun is just another one of the japanese suffixes like chan or san or senpai,i dont think repper-kun is a specific person, anon's probably just a weaboo, or a fag, most likely both
>>43894585Doesn't sound very trans to mr
>>43894585yea this is me too. I’m extremely confident im not trans but can’t get of e so I’m just like this everyday
>>43903866>extremely confident im not trans>can’t get of esuuure
