I am just one of those cardio girls. Like I want to tie my hair into a bun, wear my yoga pants, those pure white long white socks, put on my running shoes and do my morning jog 4 AM jogs and fuck off in Maine in my house alone. I feel as if I was a woman growing up, I'd end up as one of those dark feminine pick me girls. None of that sounds masculine, but its definitely not fem.I cringe when feminine "things" are put onto me. Like wearing dresses, being feminine or whatever. Weirdly, I wouldn't even say I'm malebrained or whatever that means. I don't like sports, I don't like talking about "the game of getting girls" and I do not like porn in the slightest. Not male-brained masculine trans woman? And I also don't like being butch, like yes I'd do my makeup, yes I'd like to do skincare, yes I like caring for myself and how I look, yes. But that's not feminine, that's just looking pretty - ok maybe a bit feminine but not entirely. I don't like the butch woman look. Ew.I have a house to my name and if the world doesn't end and my parents are fucking dead, I'd enjoy being a dog and cat owner (Siberian Huskies and black cats), in my 40s, as a female, renting kino art movies from the local library in the Maine suburbs, live by myself, do remote lawyer work and just get wine drunk everynight and be some lonely mysterous cougar who lives by herself out in the woods-heavy suburbs by a beachtown. For now, I will need to manmode miserably.I like being masculine, I like taking charge, I like being "direct." or whatever, just no matter what I say, its a bit cringe to just conglomerate all these dumb labels. Fembrained masculine futch transgender female? How stupid and silly. Whatever those string of words mean, could I rep? Could I just forget about this cringe dream and let the "masculinity" cope myself into self-delusion that I am just a cis male and that's okay? Like if I'm already masculine, why transition?
>>43907679Running is fun!I like running as a girl.
>>43908460It hurts.boing boing boing boing :(
>>43907679dont overthink it. be more of what you want, less of what you dont
>>43907679>Could I just forget about this cringe dream and let the "masculinity" cope myself into self-delusion that I am just a cis male and that's okay?this is going to kill you. you will be miserable. it will be worse than death, i promise you.you have a house to your name, no? one of the biggest reasons to not transition is the housing+financial security. if you're already well off in these fronts, i see no reason not to take the plunge.i was pretty masculine pre-hrt too. worked in construction, 6'0 tall, had a gf, a truck, etc. went to college and got on hrt and it changed all that. alot changes on its own. what you like changes, who you are changes, everything changes. if you have this future, id chase it. anythings doable. take the plunge, nona. nice picrel too, its pretty :)
