I kind of miss the person I used to be. Not really at all though I guess- back then I wasn't really a person; but a commodity for men.But there's something to be said about frequent penthouse parties meeting a whole bunch of people. Those international trips to take me to a bunch of new, fun, places. Japan was lovely!It's just, I couldn't take it. I felt hollow, and that I was only valuable for sex, and the more I aged and the more the mental toil took, the more the people who I considered friends distanced themselves from me because I was either hesitant, or mentally unwell and didn't bother to do up my face. Being a fetish item was no good neither, the men who'd rent me out- I'm innately naive, and have a babyface. I was pure pedobait, didn't help that I was also A-cups back then.Still. I wish I didn't leave. I wish I was still in those higher rungs of society, and wasn't a burnt out neet who was abandoned and abused by her friends. Yeah it traumatized me, but I've deffo got rose tinted glasses about it all.I miss the comfort and freedom I guess.
>>43915981once a whore always a whore. you think you aren't the same person? lmao.
>>43916008yeah. I'm not valuable to them anymore. I quit. I couldn't do it. Prostitution and onlyfans sucked so much ass. I thought I had finally made friends, only to realize those were business partners ready to exploit me. There was zero comradery.Not that you care- you've got a shitty mindset about people who end up in situations like that.
>>43915981It's life, even nostalgia for bad times can feel better the present when the present sucksobligatory giwtwm or smth since im mentally ill too
>>43916030>people who end up in situations like that.you've made your bed, now lie in it. maybe if you want some sympathy you shouldn't say you long for the days of vapid sex and fake friends?
no way...boymoder whore...
>>43916037I’m just mad at myself that I weaseled my way IN to high society- but I fumbled the ball by being an autist. I’ve been a neet living off of my old SW savings. I wish I could’ve kept up with everyone else I suppose.
>>43916107Being a model/whore/OF isn't a ticket into the high life it's a guest passEven if you didn't "fumble it by being an autist" you would age out, lose it due to medical issues, or be replaced by someone younger/more popularIt's based on beauty, age and usefulness for others to get offThe only thing you should have done was take those savings and branch into sustainable investments or projects to have safety later in life
>>43916107You never had a chance. You can't fuck your way into aristocracy especially if you're not mentally stable. If it makes you feel better.
>>43916130You're right I suppose- and lowkey I did age out. Turning 21 was like hard, because I couldn't really get away with the "underage" thing anymore. I was such a tool when I first started, and after when I was getting a little more assertive, and a little less naive with how i was being treated- people started to get a lot colder with me. I've been in college since, hoping to find a career- and really hoping they don't find out what I used to do.>>43916157Tbf, I was the only person around me back then who wasn't actively doing cocaine or ketamine. I think that hard drugs probably numb you a little.
>>4391629921 isn't too young to have been out entirely, but for pedo bait it is yeahGood luck in college, for the best you didn't get addicted to any drugs during that life style
>>43916526aging scares me now especially. I was told my youth and naïveté were the things that made me valuable. I'm trying to unlearn it, I have specialized human trafficking victim therapists, but it is a deeply entrenched mindset I have. I still look young, but I don't feel it anymore, which scares me.That and my penis. I can't belive that doing SW made me stall getting my SRS by like 3 years. It's awful.
The boymoder is ready to settle down, chasers! Who wants to get pozzed?uwu just a cute boymoder! uwu desu ne
>>43915981i know who this is and i know you're going to retrans when you can no longer bear the pain of not getting enough attention anymore
>>43915981I've only been to Japan as a semi-broke non-whore but it was still pretty fun, you can just do stuff on your own terms you know
>>43915981>didn’t work hard to enjoy travelling good thing i got a degree and now work a job that doesn’t give me the kind of baggage you have. i can go new places with my fiancé because we can afford it with our money. ppl take so many shortcuts through life and when they blame others for seeing through them and going “i can do better than this” they get all weepy
