This is a very brief moment of clarity, but I know for certain that I genuine have lost my mind. I can feel it in my bones.I am not trans. I have never been trans. I've always known that I'm a man, and I actually pride myself as one. I think, feel, and live like a man. I'm always trying to optimize everything. I always think I know anything better. I have a extremely dominant personality. I like being intimidating with merely my presence. I value strength and efficiency. I love it when my body feels like a machine. I love being resilient and poised.Contrarily, I'm actually disgusted by being a woman. I hate the thought of being softer and frailer to any extent. I've no appreciation for feminine aesthetics. I never understood how women think. They're like foreign aliens to me. Men on the other hand are like beasts, but one's I instinctually understand. I feel like one of them. The only even remotely sane explanation for my current aberration is that I so so deeply loathe myself, and through intense self inflicted depersonalization via isolation, and the romanticization of the transformative process of transitioning, I have lost all touch with reality and with myself. I feel so disgusting and depraved. It was a completely impulsive decision, but I really ignored what I knew best. I've never been as detached from myself. Nothing feels real anymore. I want to go back.
>>43953614skill issue ngl
medically detransition permanently
>>43953706I ought to, but I'm too arrogant and stubborn to admit that I made a mistake, which is why I'm still on hrt. I need to be forcefully detransitioned
>>43953738you made a mistake, move on, stop the castration pills and be happy on your own terms
>>43953669You're right, it is a skill issue. I was so stupid. Should've just appreciated what I had then, but as usual, one only realizes how much something is needed only when it's gone
>>43953614I need someone to kill me asap
>>43953614waow, same
kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me
Stop taking hrt
>>43954665I ought to, but that won't fix what made me deluded enough to believe that I am trans. I'd rather die than live with the consequences. Yet, I'm just as much of a coward as I'm retarded
You just have a ton of internalised misogyny. Non of those things are inherently male.
you need to pay me to fly to you to slap some fucking sense into you, you dumb bitch
>>43954790I fail to understand your logic, lol. Stop taking it. Things reverse. Testosterone is one hell of a drug, and now that I think about it, why not just hop on roids?
>>43954804You're right, they aren't, but I desire and appreciate them as a man>>43954809You want to get beaten up?>>43954822I will, but that won't make me any less mentally ill
>>43955175> I will, but that won't make me any less mentally illGood, and so what? We all start somewhere. You have to go through the shit to get through the shit, yeah? Believe in yourself at least a tiny bit, even if it starts off as lying to the mirror, ha ha.
>>43955207This is not a life I feel capable or willing to fight for. I'm so disgusted by myself that I can barely get out of bed. There's nothing for me here anymore
>>43955461Neither was mine, just push through. I know how repetitive any motivational phrase can be, it's easy to brush them off and to be annoyed by them but, genuinely just keep pushing. You'll make it, not to perfection, but somewhere better eventually. Just try, please.When I was just starting to push myself, I started with small walks. Didn't seem like much, seemed useless, a waste of time, but one step led to another etc etc I could go on I am very happy now, starting now is better than later.
>>43955650I do not deserve such a future tbf. I lack any empathy or ability to love. I actively hurt other by just existing near them, and I derive joy from spinning a narrative that makes them like the bad ones
>>43953614many such cases
>>43953614>>43953738>I am a unthinking machine I am a beast>"ok so detransition">I cant I need to be le forced uwujannies ban attention whore threads? this is sickening.
>>43953614i would make you feel like a real girl
>>43957816The board would pretty much be dead if all ventposts would be banned under the pretense of being attentionwhore threads.
