I don't really understand what my goal is anymore. I started HRT at 21 because it was either that or killing myself. I look in the mirror and all I see is some effeminate twink. I don't go outside anymore because I feel like Im just some disgusting hybrid. Whenever I interact with the few people I've told Im trans I just feel disgusted because Im still a man. I can't even blame myself for not transitioning earlier because I was so depressed and distracted in high school I just didn't have time to think about this stuff. I desperately wish I had some magical confidence that some transwoman have where they can go outside and be themselves regardless of how masculine they are. I don't talk to people anymore and it's gotten so bad that Im practically begging men on /soc/ to treat me like shit. Hell, I've even started cutting myself for random strangers who just insult me and call me pathetic. Do I feel ashamed of that? Nope! It actually just feels good! It's the only way I can actually feel like I exist to other people. My only redeeming quality is my somewhat effeminate body which I show to men for attention.
>>43962149>I started HRT at 21 because it was either that or killing myself. Not really.
>>43962158it was for me
>>43962149>why do I even bother anymore?Because killing yourself is pointless. If heaven or reincarnation as a cute girl is waiting for you then it's gonna happen eventually anyway. otherwise it could be worse.It's not that it will ever get fixed. Even ten years + I still don't fully feel normal. I don't think a day will come when I'll just be okay but it has gotten better. I used to basically self harm by hooking up with crazies and it's a miracle that i didn't get seventeen million STD's while doing every drug known to man. Now everybody makes fun of me about my "suburban mom" lifestyle with my husband and pets. Not to brag but from my starting point, I'm pretty decent looking now too so if someone as retarded as me managed it so can you.
>>43962161Says you.
>>43962149Mogs me
>>43962227what are you some lateshit 40yr old
>>43962263you pass and have a cute faggy voice kys
>>43962227Who else would be saying it, retard-kun?
>>43962296I wish
>>43962379your eyebrows look amazing omg
>>43962379you're just gonna come into a thread like this and mog OP like that? thats cold
>>43962379you look identical to my coworkers wife so you pass
>>43962503downright evil but made me laugh
>>43962503Only 4chan thinks I'm pretty and a girl's gotta get by somehow
>>43962149this is a really epic way to live i think
>>43962149do you really not talk to anyone besides these sadistic men who have you cut yourself?
>>43962669I have a therapist but I dont tell him about me cutting myself again. I talk to my family but only because they think im depressed and wont stopped calling me.
>>43962590thanks twin
>>43962379upper half of your face is fine but good lord that jaw, yeah you need FFS like yesterday
>>43963129you have a therapist at least that's pretty goodyou can add me on discord if you ever feel the itch to chat with some stranger about whateverwd0451
>>43963282thanks I probably wont but I appreciate the gesture
>>43962590
>>43962379super cute and passing. beautiful eyes with long lashes, haircut looks great, love the nose ring.Jaw is kind of hot in an autistic way.
>>43963198I knoww I'm gonna try to get a job at amazon to cover laser and FFS
>>43962149Honestly I'm like you. Started at 20. Ended up some effeminate titty twink. Tried every cope too. Delusion, drugs, self harm, sheer lunacy. Didn't help. But I'm in my 10th decade of mones now and it's mostly comfy atp. I think as long as you don't die you will eventually contort yourself into a person that can handle the pain of the tranny life, so have faith and keep going.
>>43962516it's a moggy-mog world out there nona
>>43965697>>I'm in my 10th decade of mones nowWe got dracula here
>>43965981
>>43963708my ideal relationship tbhon
>>43962379CuteMogs me
>because it was either that or killing myselfIm going to keep telling myself this whenever i wanna or need to do smth
>>43962149i started at 21 but kept cycling off and on between repressing. its ok, life could be worse, i am healthy, i think.
>>43962379Something that jumps out at me with trans women is that wide cheekbones seems to be a very common feature relative to both cis men and cis women. Like phenotypically it seems to happen way more, but maybe it's just surveillance bias or smth.
>>43966479its a gay face trait too. its probably low bone mass + low bf% so the cheekbones stand out relatively
