I've been questioning my gender for 2+ years and finally decided to bite the bullet and give hrt a try. The constant questioning was driving me insane, as it was the only thing I could think about, so I hoped that giving it a try would give me a concrete answer.And it definitely did. I'm now a bit over 6 months on hrt, and I've never felt worse in my entire life. My body is changing in ways I can't cope with, and I hate that I'm unable to like it even the tiniest bit. Trying hrt out has give the most transparent and straightforward answer. I'm cis; And there no way around it. I should be happy to be cis, and I am definitely relieved about not having to deal with transphobia, but now that I know that I'm cis, I don't know what to do with my life anymore. How am I supposed to cope with being cis going forward and live my life at peace with said fact?
Just be a gender non conforming person who has their own interests kind of like what youre doing now you tedious fuckwit?
>>43963412I don't like being gender non conforming. I'm literally just a man with gyno now, and I'm not crying about the gyno. That was an assumed risk, and it'll definitely cost me to get it removed, but I can make it work.I'm much more trying to come to terms with the fact that I really will live my whole life as a man
>>43963365What are you even doing with your life if this is your biggest issue?
>>43963576Nothing. I don't live, I just exist. I have nothing to live for, and it's all my fault. That's also why I was willing to give hrt a try. I thought I had nothing to lose and hoped I might gain at least something. While I was mostly right about having nothing to lose, my hopes of anything improving because of it were misplaced
Get the fuck off our healthcare then??? Piece of shit trender. This is what happens when you appropriate a medical condition to fit in somewhere.
>>43963674I have. It was just practically my last hope tho.And I think it's unkind to call me a piece of shit trender just because I made a mistake. I'm genuinely struggling with this, but my mistake will never mean that I'll blame it on you and become a grifter. If anything, I now have personal experiences to relate to how horrible dysphoria can be, and why access to trans healthcare is paramount
>>43963365I sometimes hold my cigarette like that, hoping it will somehow light up my jacket and turn me into a human candle
>>43963751I called you a piece of shit because it boils my piss to 100 Kelvin the mass pushback against trans people right now is because of this attitude of just try hrt uwu and the idea that a xenodemiboy is the same as someone who experiences clinically significant dysphoria. The only redeeming action is to champion the view that any flaggender is bullshit. Nb is NOT valid as a subgroup of trans people and you do need diagnosed clinically significant dysphoria to be trans. You've experienced first hand the physical and mental damage these deranged lunatics cause with these horribly appropriating actions and words.Seriously, to all the tucute readers, you do not represent us.Real trans people now have to make their own spaces AGAIN because of this horseshit making us unwelcome in the very houses we built.
>>43963796>you need a stamp of approval from a psychopath with a loycense in order to take generic medicationwhy are you goycattle?>the very houses we builtyou didn't built jack shit. stop larping.
>>43963813Get bent flaggender faggot you know fuck all. You can't even spell build - classic low IQ behaviour. You appropriate medical conditions because you are so retarded you can't fit in with society so force yourself into spaces you aren't welcome and take them over. Bet you have ADHD, autism, pots and pretend to need a stick to walk too fucking degerate
>>43963796Your anger is misplaced. I was just trying to be happy, but I was wrong. That's all there is to it. And I'm pretty sure it's not the cringe enbies on tumblr who want you dead, but all the cisoids hylics
>>43964001They do. My anger doesn't come from nowhere. It comes from watching our spaces change year on year and become less and less welcoming to now the point of exclusion because as a trans person apparently you need to go out of your way to cater to every edge case, can never make a proposal for action if it isn't all inclusive and pro Palestine, dissenting views are not allowed and worthy of being dog pilled by all the fakes and trenders. I have done some significantly impactful things to further equal rights for trans people. I was treated like scum because I didn't account for a million edge cases for trenders to all be able to be involved and take credit. I was discredited and cancelled and that was before I held my current viewpoint of fuck all trenders with a rake.My anger is a direct result of the climate that has been hand crafted by these trenders for the last few years. I will never forgive that side of the "community" and my efforts now go to highlighting the massive gap between real trans people and society inept need somewhere to fit in "trans" people. The days of wearing a medical condition like a mask are numbered.
>>43963365>I don't know what to do with my lifeeven beautiful people who realize they're passing within 6 months find themselves here anon, it's not a trans thing, it's a people thing. Find some other thing to center your life on, get bored of it, hopefully this time without thinking it means you're not a person because you stopped focusing on it, find the next thing. It's not just some magical brain fucked-ness with you, tons of people run into this wall. Eventually you've got to just start trying random shit, stuff you might hate, stuff you know you love but don't interact with because what if you suck at it. Living a life isn't following a schedule, it's a damn mess. Even if you WERE trans this problem wasn't going anywhere. it's probably devastating to realize that you've got the gender you need to feel comfortable already, and it's still not solving the problem, but trying to solve that was never going to come down to looking a certain way.this anon >>43963796 just likes feeling righteous and vengeful, they're useless and uninteresting, just ignore. anything they monkey out on the keyboard will just be bitching and vindictive, nothing of substance worth giving time to.
>>43963365This doesn't necessarily mean you're cis. It could mean that you're non-binary. If HRT makes you feel worse, perhaps you should suspend it, but it doesn't necessarly mean you're just a cis person.
>>43964230Nah, I'm definitely cis. I know I'm a man. HRT making me feel worse was expected, but I really hoped for the contrary, because I really wish I could escape being myself
>>43963844lol reddit spacing>>43964040>ess and less welcoming to now the point of exclusion because as a trans person apparently you need to go out of your way to cater to every edge case, can never make a proposal for action if it isn't all inclusive and pro Palestine, dissenting views are not allowed and worthy of being dog pilled by all the fakes and trenders.go and gas the afabs and other toxic femininityfags, op's being a pragmatic genderfucky person that tried to figure shit out and isn't shitting up the socials like your average afab, TDS conservatoid or other SJW>>43964698>I really wish I could escape being myselfwhat do you hate about yourself, op? which things about the body, mind, behavior, environment, etc?
>>43964724>what do you hate about yourself, op? which things about the body, mind, behavior, environment, etc?There's nothing about who I am or what I look like that I have a reason to hate. What I hate is my intrinsic self, and having to live always aware and repulsed by one's self. I don't want to be me, because being me is what I hate.I'm aware how stupid it was of me to believe that transitioning could fix this. One transitions into being their truest self, and not to escape from it.
>>43965087what do you hate about your intrinsic self?
>>43963796>you do need diagnosed clinically significant dysphoria to be transWhat are people who transitioned without a diagnosis supposed to call themselves
This is why you see a therapist
>>43963365Do you have a mother who couldn't love you? Because it sounds like you may have internalized self hatred from it.
>>43965095tbf, it's not something that really feels within my control. It's so extremely exhausting to exist as myself that I'm physically nauseous almost constantly. I feel as though I'm taking psychological damage by just existing. This also basically fully hindered me to develop any real sense of self, because I find myself feeling repulsed by everything.>>43966117I have been to multiple actually, and they told me I'm very likely a tranny. The diagnostic criteria for dysphoria are very broad and I hate myself enough to have wanted to fit them>>43966458Pretty much the opposite. She puts in a ton of effort, but none of it manages to reach me. This is my fault though
>>43963365>My body is changing in ways I can't cope with, and I hate that I'm unable to like it even the tiniest bit.sorry describe it pls? i want to compare. was it like that the whole time or only after six months/?
>>43967003>It's so extremely exhausting to exist as myself that I'm physically nauseous almost constantly. I feel as though I'm taking psychological damage by just existing. [...] because I find myself feeling repulsed by everything.Hm, this one's tricky to get a feeling for. Is it the way you act, the way your environment reaches your consciousness, have you noticed any moments when it's worse or better, or?
>>43963365exactly same thing happened to me, obviously cis but fell into this shit due to extreme self hatred. just don’t be a retard like me and dig yourself deeper by taking e for another 2 years bc you can’t accept that you were wrong
>>43967721>describe it pls? i want to compare.I'm constantly acutely aware of the fact that I am feminizing, and it kinda feels as if I, and everything I was is disintegrating right before my eyes. It's a very weird feeling, but I definitely feel like I'm dying while alive. I can't even really bring myself to feel anything about the changes specifically because I'm so overwhelmed by it all>was it like that the whole time or only after six months/?Whole time, with some periods of normalcy. Each time the normalcy ended these feelings came flooding back more and more intense.>>43968103>Is it the way you act, the way your environment reaches your consciousnessIt's definitely both. I can barely tolerate either, but especially the latter.>have you noticed any moments when it's worse or better, or?Whenever I'm in a good mood, then it tends to be at least somewhat better, but those moments are few and far between
>>43969994Yeah, you definitely got reverse dysphoria on HRT. That's how we feel pre-HRT.I am really genuinely quite curious what made you want to transition and why the fuck you would want to be one of us. It's a pretty shitty life.
>>43963365>How am I supposed to cope with being cis going forward and live my life at peace with said fact?idk, maybe don't make being trans your whole personality like every other faketroon>"how do I cope with not having stage 4 cancer"this is how you sound>>43963796trvthnvke
