because I wanted to stop being seen as a rapistI wanted to stop being seen as harmfulI disliked how women saw my sexso as a fuck you I really fucked with being a woman for a whole yearoh, I'm a creep? I'm a sexist? I'm a rapist? fuck you I'm a woman.yet internally, I loved being male, masculine and a man. I had a boyhood, not a repressed one where I desperately wanted to be feminine, female or a woman.just somewhere along the way the combination of my guilt of jerking it to tied up women and being anti-sex and anti-social, internally thinking I needed to take estrogen and chop my dick off to be absolved of myself.but this was a false assumption. took the E from the openlabs shut down for the past 2 months. this is not for me. I'm not a woman. I'm a man who always felt guilt for being one in fear someone else will clock the fetish (bondage) which I was ashamed of, or clock me for a disgusting male-associated trait. the solution: embrace my fucking evil self who laughs at a women's misery, feels empowered and high on lust when I see a woman in bondage - instead of coping away with it through self-feminization and creating a new self. so what do you think trannies: repper or deranged cis man?
>>43992997i think you fall under retarded yeah
>>43992997lol i had a complex that this is why i trooned.idk. Maybe it was. But im a lot happier now, and ppl rly dont treat me like a rapist anymore. in fact! they sexually assault me now :/
What a confusing trail of thoughts you have, wowies
My response to the idea that men are rapists has always been to not rape anyone. It's a lot less effort and I don't make people uncomfortable just by walking into a room
the lengths men who grow up in a feminized society will go to avoid admitting to themselves that Abrahamic religions are right about women
>>43992997if you're truly male you'll get dysphoria for the feminizationnot for imperfect feminization, not for not being good enough as a girl, but for having tits at all, for being softer, for being weakerreal men do not feel dysphoria for being masculine, but do feel dysphoria for being feminineI cant rule out what you feel isnt your real deeper feelings about it, trauma can definitely give someone a complex about being a man (like half the fucking pooners alive dont want the gender, just the sex changes, because of this)But you'll feel dysphoric about being a woman if you arent meant to be one
>>43993106uh oh, is someone mad that women have sexual freedom because they think constantly about what they'd do with their life if THEY were a girl and sexual expression doesnt fit into their christian morals of a just life?start HRT little jaxbrained gooner
As a man moder taking estrogen, my body is weaker and less intimidating to women, I am no longer a threat of assaulting them.I have chemically castrated myself and have no libido, preventing me from committing immoral sexual advances and acts in the eyes of cis women.I am less violent and aggressive. I have been passified and am no longer a threat to society.
>>43992997I recently started E and for pretty much the same motivations. My male sexuality and porn addiction disgusted me and everytime I went outside I felt like I'm being judged by every woman that even looked at me.I like it so far especially the loss of libido. I really hope that you are the exception from the rule and that there are trutrannies that also started out of guilt.
>>43993181>>43993197I will man mode forever and be a weak unthreatening “man” so I don’t take break into female only spaces and respect the autonomy and rights of cis women.
>>43993197i feel like if anything, starting put of guilt like we did is pretty good proof we are fembrained.
>>43993221it could also mean you're OCD-brained. i don't think it means you're like, fembrained lol.
Fire? Lmao
>>43993027Youre not wrong but youre also a piece of shit because how do you expect retarded boys not to start acting like this when every facette of society is steeped deeply in misandry
>>43993234i was diagnosed with OCD as a kid lol.the joke i would make to myself is the catholic guilt didnt stick but instead i got this weird “male guilt” all pervaded thru me. still getting iver it desu. (Big reason i havent dated a cis woman yet)
>>43993246Cis men are evil, to become less evil we must remove testosterone from our body and take estrogen, which is the source of divinity.Our brains are forever tainted by testosterone and even though we take HRT we are not allowed to enter females spaces or act female.
>>43993158This fits me in the past too well desu. Still feel bad about it, I kinda was just projecting how I’d act with guys if I could and thinking all women must want that.
>>43993250I was also raised catholic and like most kids my age pretty quickly rejected it, but still felt extremely guilty for even existing around normal people. Especially women.
>>43993281Hey, dont involve me in your cuck fetish, sissy
>>43993387Am I HSTS, AGP, or MEF?
>>43992997>get told you are born a rapist>get told you are born a threat>be born into abject emotional loneliness >adapt>mfwi know you are telling the truth nona, but please stop, you make me wanna kms
>>43993455You are a broken man that needs help and deserves love
>>43993531No one is coming to save me or care about me
>>43993137yeah I do ... sure ... hahahahaha. I'm just a cis-male who just developed a bondage fetish at 8 years old and felt intense pleasure at the thought of what a damsel in distress feels like, I feel dysphoric when feminized because I am cis male. I feel dysphoric when my skin softens, and I turn feminine and my face just finally for the first time doesn't feel like someone pasted it on me, but rather feels like mine when I imagine the effects of estrogen wrecking my face-fat -or the thought of seeing my arm hair and leg hair and thinking that it belongs to another body - or seeing all the pieces of a man and thinking none of this belongs to me, thinking, "wait I really have all of these male body parts? am I really a human?" - i don't really feel dysphoric being a woman, i just have a strange tingly sensation in relation to my genitals since I was a kid where I want to rip them off, but no no no no, -or imagine getting big boobs and how much of a pain to my back that'd be, but really I don't give fuck if I have my actual real biological fucking body parts because my face'd be ugly af anyway if I were to take E - just a man with boobs, gross.yes, this is a larp thread made by a self-degrading MtF repressor who identifies as AGP, is 24, is masculinizing, is not on E because of parents and will likely off herself for whatever body I manage to muster won't ever capture the cavernous depths of my fucking soul so maybe being a bludgeoned bloody indescribable piece of mush, guts and red provokes some better form of meaning than pumping a testorinized 5'9 brown male frame with estrogen and surgeries; maybe if I just bloody my own self that'd be closer to what I internally feel.wearing a dress, being feminine, yeah it does feel dysphoric as a cis male wearing them, not like a missing jigsaw puzzle piece that finally fits my soul, yeah its just some linen, I'm just perverted, I'm just AGP ... hahahahaah ...thx for the thought experiment Anon. being a tranny sucks.
>>43993560I am a real man moder taking HRT, and plan to permanently man mode
>>43993586IDGAF YOU WEIRD FUCKING CREEPY MALE KEK! GROSS! EW!
>>43992997>because I wanted to stop being seen as a rapist>I wanted to stop being seen as harmful>I disliked how women saw my sexIt never ends anon, no matter how far you get into transition the moment they find out you're trans cisoids make assumptions about you based on your birth sex. You can't outrun it
>>43993560i'm also a cis male on estrogen who had a bondage fetish since before the age of 8; i've never given a fuck or felt guilty about it and i feel perfectly fine even though i only trooned at 28whatever's wrong with you is something else my manprobably being brown
>>43993623this is what I'll do to your lil cis male on estrogen dick, you dumb lil FUCK.
>>43993623FORGOT TO ADD THE FUCKING IMAGE - FUCK
>>43993614Its not even just cisoids its other trans people. Pooners are seen as defacto less competent at making decisions around their own bodily autonomy. Other trans people use misogynistic terf talking points on us because they think it benefits them.
>>43993608I know, I will stay away from women for the rest of my life. I need to make sure they are not insulted by looking at me.
as a gay bottom femboy, i spend all day everyday desiring men to want me. so i get to feel like a creep because i'm a dude, but also like a double creep because i'm a dude who wants dudes (unlike "healthy" straight women who hate dudes)why do women seemingly HATE sexual attention? do they not have a sex drive?read this thread if you want to make yourself mad https://old.reddit.com/r/aves/comments/1b1qcwr/drugs/
>>43993614In actual human interactions yes but there's also the constant underlying feeling in the background of being a potential threat that makes me feel guilt. Also when I was a porn addict i would feel intense shame every time after jerking off. Now I dont have a libido so i just feel better.
>>43993643>>43993654very non-needful response saar
>>43993545You will be saved. Kali Yuga is long and cruel; we are all made monsters. You will find love and rest one way or the other.
>>43993951Yea we’re all gonna die and nothing matters, no one will remember me
>>43993976do you need people to remember you? do you need to live forever? do you need anything to matter? you don't need anybody else to give these things to you Anon. I know I am speaking to the wind, but it is my true wish that you might find fulfillment in life without any of these things. Time is not linear and we are the proprietors matter, in this moment and forever I love you, but you must accept the challenge of this life.
>>43993560so we've established that you are trans and not just a man on HRTnow we need to challenge the self loathing that leads you to feel that waya lot of the things you feel are expected for a woman trapped in a mans body, I'm not saying it's normal, you shouldn't be trapped in a mans body, but the second order thing of hating that feeling is normalso how can you change your body to fit you?
>>43994168SUICIDE IS THE ONLY OPTION WHERE MY CURSED TESTOSTERONE RAPESTICK HAUNTED BODY SHALL NO LONGER IMPRISON MY SOUL! CHANGE BY THROWING THIS FLESH-PRISON INTO THE FUCKING WOODCHIPPER, POON MAN!
>>43994267nuhI get it, I do, I felt that way before and early in transition because I could not make peace with having the wrong bodyand being real the single biggest thing that will help you cope isnt a successful transition, it's finding community and feeling like you belong, then once the cope passes and your body is better the community can help you find happinessbut finding community can be tricky, especially when you're deep in a hole right now and dont want to move or do anything, but it's possible, I mean you're here arent you?hope does exist, I have hope for you if you dont have hope for yourself
>>43994334Based on everything I said, do you really think I am trans and need estrogen? I have a deep gut instinct that I am just a faketrans weirdo. But really, I get so much relief and joy at the thought of me finally being what feels like "me" and "myself." I tell all of the religious posters and cissoid grifters to fuck off, but personally Poon Man, my worst enemy is myself as I sometimes to lean in and tell myself that I'm just some weird creepy male-fuck even if internally I feel completely opposite to that. And often I am very decisive and shit, but idk I constantly just get into cycles daily. Ik the truth of just take the E and the self-doubt will always come. the self-hatred will get much worse. I just wish God can tell me I'm trans, like whisper it to me, or give me a sign and just tell me I'm not faketrans.i think the most horrifying thing I feel is that truthfully, no matter how much hugboxing, how much listening, the only person who can decipher the truth of who I am is me, and fuck if I can trust myself -all I know is that I feel happier, calmer and at a greater peace when I'm called she/her, when my skin is softer, when my hair is long, when people refer to me as a woman, when my voice sounds like a woman -and then other times when I see women or even trans women, I look at how miserable they look, how sad and tired they are as life wears them down, and I wonder if maybe its better to be an AGP male than some sort of other thing -only to be reminded how pathetic AGP male reppers are - but still, I doubt despite thinking and ruminating and feeling and desperately longing for a female skin-suit if I am really faketrans or not. It doesn't eat away at me, it feels like some other "consciousness" has taken over my male body and is typing all this right now lol. is that the dissassociation / depersonalization talking? hahaha, I'm so fucked.do you really think I'm not faketrans Poon Man?(﹏)
>>43994477forgot to add Nikkiposting img.
>>43994477I think feeling that way is very common and I do believe that it feels like that, I didnt feel valid for most of my transition, I just dont subscribe to the idea that you're not a womanwould you feel better about it if I started malgendering you and calling all this a woman moment cuz I really want tocuz you are histrionic and weepy and it's not remotely as dire as it seems, just like a teenage girlidk what kinda person you're attracted to but you need boyremoval from whoever it is
>>43994550this
>>43993181If you think women are excluded from being violent and aggressive, I have news for you buddy. Just look at a few videos of poor-serving establishment crashouts, or girlfriend finding her spouse cheating videos. Shit, a lady crackhead set my neighbors trashcan on fire the other day.
>>43994550>you need boyremovalnta but this is spot on
i will NOT attempt to relate to the purple bunnyi WILL pursue my own interests and hobbiesi will NOT making being trans my entire existencei WILL be kind and forgiving to others i will NOT bag emotionally damaged theyfabs using my fake boymoder swagi WILL cry to myself at night for not allowing myself this
>>43994550>>43994570No. I am an AGP MALE. I am 24. I am not a teenage girl. I work full-time as a paralegal. It is a woman dominated field and as a AGP MALE, this annoys me greatly. I am attracted to all sexes and as an AGP MALE -you know, I really want to scream when even remotely referred to as a bitch because I feel a flurry of feelings. anger, disgust, joy, uncertainty (is this really allowed? am I really just allowed to be called a woman?). Because, I act completely masculine and totally like a guy, like just a normal dude but ask further and you'll see how strange I am as I don't do any of the male socialized things like sports or whatever. "gayest straight man" is what cissoids call me. "something's off, but I guess you're a dude." when called doing a "woman thing" though, I feel like I'm finally alive, like I can finally see color and my whole life I've just been on black & white. I have a irl friend who is enby and their dumb cis straight big guy boyfriend one time after driving us, as I was saying something, he one time interrupted, "look at this dumb bitch talk." NON-SEXUALLY: I just wanted to get on my knees and thank him so hard for calling me that and I prayed God to please automatic voicetrain my voice and make me look at least passable as a woman so that I can properly express in a body that actually represents me my gratitude to him for just calling me a bitch, a "bitch" being the term that doesn't even mean "woman" but is a sliver close to it.I think trully I disassociate when called who I am because truthfully if I were to actually unpack it, yes I would feel excited but deeply fucking sad and angry that all I have is words and not biological reality.I can't wait to be 33 because by then I'll already just be some boring, passing, mid, ugly ass woman. like I'm just at fruit market in a nice summer dress in flip-flops picking fruits. still, I'm just an AGP male who likes watching women in bondage and developed meta-attraction for my fetish.
>>43994734you need therapy.hormone replacement therapy, to be more precise.
>>43992997seek treatment for your obvious OCD
>>43994734much of this just translates to you meaning you mask in public (dishonest signal to society that you are "normal" and do not deserve abuse by their standards) and act like a silly little girl making vent blog diary posts on 4chan (honest signal to in-group that is congruent with your true self)and that's okay, that's who you are and you're allowed to be that, society is the one that's wrong, that's why you're here in a community of outcastshopefully one day you'll belong in a community of happy outcast silly foids instead of among the miserable doomer foids on /tttt/ but you belong here right nowsucks that you have some mild meta attraction to a man being a total dick to you though, I hope it's mild anywayand yeah dysphoria sucks, I really cant do anything about that other than say stick to the HRT and when it seems like it's done everything it can hope you have savings for surgeries (or find a way to defraud the medical system, this is also good)
>>43994734i would give u a big hug nona… u seem like u need to cry…
>>43994907also u are super sweet and patient w her..
>>43994963I guess I want a hug. haha. I don't think I ever felt attached to a single person in my entire life. From 1st grade to 12th, I always wanted a typical childhood where people ask me to hang out - but everytime I tried talking to someone, I'd feel a pit in my stomach when I tried talking to someone, added with the fact that my only sense of sexuality was being obsessed with roping women to train-tracks while all the other boys were boys (talking about hot girls, fucking, being rough and grotesque). I wished and prayed so deeply that I could just fit in - that I could just feel right. so I could fit in as fitting in with girls failed (I wasn't outwardly gay, so what's a weird "dude" hangin with girls!), Why didn't I talk to any of them? I had good parents ... its because I never felt any action that came out of my mouth was authentic because nothing that came out of me felt like it came out of a real person. If you hug me, I don't know if I'd truly register it because of the masking, the lying to myself and the repressing I have done my whole life where studying was ahead of me over finding an authentic self. I envied everyone that just had it, they had a self and I could never feel like whatever I had was ever my authentic self -and writing this I feel as if this is just all the signs of dysphoria and realizing I always had it but never had the words for it.I just want my future lover, missed teenage friends, missed college buddies, and lost connections I should have that I always used to dream about in pillows and late-night staring at the ceiling endlessly day after day as a lonely child with no friends, for all of them to in one snap just see and feel me for me instead of whatever they saw. to have their neurons and optical nerves re-wired to see me as a woman, so that maybe in some memory, in some future I exist somewhere in the deep recesses of a psyche beyond mine.
>>43995311I fully understand the grass is greener thing but being cisfem and autistic would've still seen you bullied and ostracized until midway into college, and if you're unlucky you get date raped early in college by the first moid superficially nice to you (I hate knowing how common this is and it's fucking weird feeling survivors guilt over it)and it's not worth it being a normie, you can be envious for the simplicity of the dribbling masses in the vaguer sense but it's just not worth it to be like them, masking is as worthless when it works as it is when it fails because the vapid simplicity and superficial consumerism is just that, there is no hope for normiesbut yeah you still shouldn't have been robbed of the opportunity by the circumstances of your birth, it sucks so muchit does get better though, you'll get thereI'm actually like, joyous that you see being a 33 year old normie mid woman as goals because yeah, that's probably it, and that's okaythe only thing missing from that picture is just that happiness will make you shine no matter how mid and boring you end up being
>>43995524wow, a very smart t-man holy fuck cool. i want to put that meme of the hon and the pooner side-by-side meme comparison typing on a 4chan thread affirming each other.not to like get too nice and beyond the larp, but you better not be some manipulative chaser, because u making my hon aaah smile with this stop ... thank you poon man or however you wanna be called (don't want to hurt your feelings). um, ok we can totally like kill a bunch of normies or whatever and I'm just like screaming into the digital void I wasn't attention-whoring for gem ass freaking loveposts like - anyway, I need to be gagged because like I type way to much, um, idk ...also NOT you calling me autistic, hahaha. wtf! idk if I said I was, not diagnosed but ik I'm a little retarded tbf, but as you said if I just got happiness, I shine stttoooppp, you making me like smile and shit, stfu ... thx poon man ily xoxo.
>>43992997do whatever you want man
>>43992997>i refuse to allow myself to like bondage so much that i will willingly give myself gdyoure retarded. you can like bondage lmao
>>43994708you are not the buddha. you are NOT the buddha. no wisdom. no knowledge.
>>43992997dumb idiot that needs a bit of therapy to fix her bad thought patterns
>>43992997have you discovered that you're really gay, my brother?
>>43992997I don't see you as a rapist. Tired of trannies thinking that we think of them like this. We don't. Go outside. Touch grass.
>>43993560>...i just have a strange tingly sensation in relation to my genitals since I was a kid where I want to rip them off...ntabut its funny, i had the same thing as a kid always felt like cutting my genitals off.it got worse with a bit of religious neurotic thoughts (its better to cut off the things that make you sin and enter the kingdom of heaven without it, than to have it and damn yourself).still to this day I'm recovering from such thoughts
>>43993106TRVKEfeminism did this
>>43993106Abrahamic religions are what turned men into numb and repressed rapists and freaks in the first place. Men used to have a brotherhood, but Abrahamic religion took it away and made men terrified of each other. Through the gay scare they implemented to try and increase birth rates, they caused female spouses to have a monopoly on comfort and emotional support, a monopoly we are suffering from to this very day. This "feminized society" is their fault. We are all suffering from the retarded stains they have left on the culture.
>>43993094>not rape anyone>somehow, everyone knows thisNoThey just assume anywayUnless you're complete fag and every afab is like, "phew, what harmlessly gay wimp"
>>43998118It's the other way around, men are numb rapist freaks therefore they created abrahamic religion aka a religion where God is a numb rapist freak but also presented as a paragon of morality, as a way to justify their nature.
>>43996308do you think that those weird feelings as a child were actually a sign of GD or was it just us recognizing that our genitals exist and it was just natural to want them removed?
>>43998118trvke>>43999026falske
>>44000461If its a falseke then how do you explain the fact that men are dumb chuds in non abrahamic cultures too?
>>44000492imperialism from abrahamoid countries
>>44000510In buddhist scripture a woman is described as lesser to a manChina only ever had 1 female emperor and the moid emperors always had a harem of girls to rape, also their wars had comical death countsIn precolonial mezoamerica moids literally invented a god that demands blood sacrifice as an excuse to kill each other, very similiar to what abrahamoids doPre christian scandinavian religion says you go to heaven if you die in battle again justification of violenceMoids have always painted baseless violence as "bravery" and raping women as "the sacred natural order" everywhere
>>43993515>get told you are born a rapist>get told you are born a threatgiwtm
