and yes, the fuckass cartoon rabbit did help retrigger me on this, even though I'm literally nothing like his retarded ass

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>>44006899
By realizing trooning doesn’t provide those things
>the magical feeling of suddenly "finding myself"
Not real, just a way to explain to cisoids
>the second chance at life
Not real, wherever you go there you are
>the cute body
Not real, it will always look like you and you never pass to yourself
>being lusted after
Lol
>and finding myself attractive
If you don’t now you won’t then
>being able to blame everything wrong with my life on nonexistent gender dysphoria
Not real, you’ll have all the same problems on the other side
>the adventure of changing my body
It’s too slow to be interesting or fun, more like the experience of treating diabetes while doing your own taxes
>not having to deal with masculine expectations anymore
Lol
>being able to be more openly faggy without it being weird and offputting
Not real, it will always be weird and offputting since mtfs don’t pass
>SRS so I can experience getting fucked in a vagina
Srs is not a vagina
>the ability to carry children
Not possible

>>44007012
I totally agree with you on everything, and yet the feeling remains. I want to be one of them. Why shouldn't I transition just because I'm bored and hate myself?

I find it that microdosing alcohol throughout the regular daily schedule can produce a similar effect.

Other substances are probably much better at this but i'm a legalcel chud

>>44007145
Because there are other things you can do that will either actually improve your life, or at least not render your body and mind weakened/deformed/sterile later when you do want to improve it.

>>44006899
cis people don't have these thoughts

>>44006899
yeah I kind of get this other than SRS and having kids.
t. cis moid

>>44007459
I'll to improve those other things too. I've been getting in better shape recently, and I'm starting a new job soon

>>44007469
And trans people have these thoughts from age 4. However, I didn't, and I didn't get them until I started hanging out in places like this so it's not real.

>>44007473
Exactly, these are very normal feelings for depressed loser virgin fucks like ourselves

>>44006899
idk i decided to take the pills to try and 'figure it out' and 2 years in i still have no idea if im trans or not
>>44007469
raped people do

>>44006899
yea same, I think this a common thing for pathetic males who hate themselves

>>44007514
>And trans people have these thoughts from age 4.
never ever believe those bullshitters.

30s is rough though... sorry

Just transition. Nothing fucking matters so do what you want
>uhhh but I dont want it
You just made a thread about how you want it JUST FUCKING DO IT

>>44007598
100% unraped here

>>44007621
Even the last two?

>>44007663
It's such a consistently reported thing, even in AGPs and whatnot. Everyone says they knew as soon as puberty started, at the least

>>44006899
I'm "fake" trans. I trooned for a combination of fetish and boredom. Never experienced serious dysphoria and had no thought about being a woman prior to age 22 or 23 lol. 15 years later I don't regret it (quite the opposite), but I wish I could've cut through the bullshit faster. So from that experience, let me tell you:
>the magical feeling of suddenly "finding myself"
>the second chance at life
this won't happen. YOU have to create the second chance at life. You need a plan on what happens after you transition. I had one. But most trannies don't which is why their outcomes are pretty bad.
>the cute body
>the adventure of changing my body
genetic luck and money. If you have these, then you'll get a cute body eventually. You also need lots of discipline and patience.
>being lusted after
see above. with a cute body, someone will lust after you, yeah. sometimes that's gross, sometimes that's awesome.
>and finding myself attractive
heh, that's a lot more complicated. If you're not a bit agp, then you may never get this. I only find myself attractive when my husband fucks me in front of the mirror.
>being able to blame everything wrong with my life on nonexistent gender dysphoria
doesn't exist. nobody believes it, not even yourself. why tf would you want that anyway?
>not having to deal with masculine expectations anymore
eventually this works. but only if you can reasonably pass even as a mid or low-tier woman.
>being able to be more openly faggy without it being weird and offputting
tbhon you can do this without trooning too without it being weird and offputting. the reverse is also true - one can be openly faggy as a troon and still be weird and offputting.
this is an autism and mentality issue rather than a tranny issue.
>SRS so I can experience getting fucked in a vagina
yes, this is doable. PPT full hybrid is a marvelous innovation in SRS tech.
>ability to carry children
never going to happen no matter what you do. this is something you should accept.

>>44007700
Thank you so much for taking me seriously. I feel crazy when I talk like this.

>this won't happen.
I already know. But the fantasy is powerful.
>genetic luck and money.
Don't have either, outside of being short I guess
>I only find myself attractive when my husband fucks me in front of the mirror.
That's so beautiful still though.
>If you're not a bit agp
I am. And meta attracted
>why tf would you want that anyway?
Justification for my rotten self I guess. Justification to pursue my fetish
>this is an autism and mentality issue
All of my shit is, I think I was susceptible to this shit because I'm an autistic weirdo with increasing mental problems and way too much free time to browse sites like this
> PPT full hybrid is a marvelous innovation in SRS tech.
I'll look into it, that's way down the road if I ever go that route though. I'm too old anyway.

What makes you happy then if none of the things I mentioned really work? What bullshit did you need to cut through?

>>44006899
Dont, the harassment they warn u about is 1000x worst

Freaks will try to enslave you for example

>>44007792
>outside of being short I guess
height helps but it's not a must. being under 190cm is usually enough. how you're built matters a lot more.
>Justification
"I want that" was justification enough for me. Life is short. Might as well enjoy it.
>What makes you happy then if none of the things I mentioned really work?
reread. I didn't dismiss all. Some do work, in fact.
what makes me happy is no longer having to be a man. and I'm so far down the road that i can't realistically be a man anyway. do keep in mind that I am mef. The fetish is being emasculated.
>What bullshit did you need to cut through?
most of the ideological crap that was just coming about when I started. the demonization of mef, the demonization of sissyfication, the whole 'trutrans' discourse... ALL of that.
in reality, there really is nothing wrong with doing any of this for a fetish. sexuality is part of what makes us human. there is no objective criterion that makes transitioning for a fetish less 'true' than transitioning for debilitating dysphoria reasons.
this ideological BS has led to hilarious interactions over the years. I'm 37, married, post-op and working as middle manager girlboss in a global corp. Yet I'm supposed to yield and be quiet while I'm lectured by a 21 year old terminally online "asexual" shut-in on how femininity and the world works. And this is now acceptable in the "community" because the "community" has exiled all of the elders and is now concerned with irrelevant nonsense rather than the wellbeing of fags or troons.
it took a while to learn to not give a fuck and just do my own thing since ultimately only I know what I like and I don't need to please strangers at all.
When I mentioned in passing that I enjoy being called a failed faggot by my hubby when he fucks me, I got called a pickme and a perv. Okay, guilty as charged on the perv part but pickme? All of this is insane. The sooner you learn to ignore it, the better.
[1/2]

>>44007792
Troon if you want. Or don't troon. Your body, your choice.
But whatever you choose, please make sure you choose because YOU want it. Not because some cretin online says it's more or less "valid" or "tru" or w/e.
It's okay to troon for a fetish. It's okay to take hrt and not socially troon. It's okay to get srs while continuing to look and present male (I have an IRL friend like that, MEF but big masculine). It's okay to think all of this is crazy and find a different way to cope.
You don't owe anyone an explanation and you don't have to conform to anyone's ideological framework!
>I think I was susceptible to this shit because I'm an autistic weirdo with increasing mental problems and way too much free time to browse sites like this
Allow me to be skeptical. But you can easily test this. Get a job that consumes a lot of time. Go into trades (so it exhausts you physically too). See if the feelings go away for more than 3 months.
I tested that on myself. After 6 months I began actively looking for a masc bf to help me feminize faster lol. After 12 months I was scheduling ffs and BA.
Don't take my word for it. Try things. Be pro-active. And wherever you land that's more comfortable, that's your correct answer. Who gives af if it doesn't conform to other people's ideas?
[2/2]

I sometimes feel that way. But in the end I'm confident that I'm not trans, I just hate myself and want to disappear into being a clean slate new person, and hate being in my body and the thought of having to exist in it as a sexual being because I got molested. The idea of transition feels like a solution to these problems, but it's only a solution to the problem of being trans, which isn't a problem I have.

>>44007961
>reread. I didn't dismiss all.
Correct, that was just a bad sentence by me
>what makes me happy is no longer having to be a man
Why was that so relieving? I feel similar in a way, though I don't have an interesting feminine things at all but the social elements of manhood are a burden a lot of the time.
>do keep in mind that I am mef.
lol same
>there really is nothing wrong with doing any of this for a fetish.
This feels easy to say but difficult to do. I'd want to bail every day because of how gross it feels.
>I'm 37, married, post-op and working as middle manager girlboss in a global corp.
I'm happy for you.
>But whatever you choose, please make sure you choose because YOU want it. Not because some cretin online says
Oh absolutely, I'm not that impressionable. (I am aware of the irony of that statement)
>It's okay to take hrt and not socially troon.
I might think about this route for the time being, goddamn you.
>You don't owe anyone an explanation and you don't have to conform to anyone's ideological framework!
Except my own, and that's the problem is that I'm failing to live up to my own.
>Get a job that consumes a lot of time
I'm starting one soon, conveniently enough
>Try things. Be pro-active. And wherever you land that's more comfortable, that's your correct answer.
This makes me emotional for some reason, thank you so much. That last part is very difficult to accept, the correct answer won't be perfect but it'll just have to be.

>>44008109
I'm extremely sad to hear about that, but I relate to you about hating to exist as a sexual being in my body. I despise mine too, just for different reasons. That also motivates my thinking in all of this

>>44008171
>Why was that so relieving?
I suppose it's in part because I enjoyed being submissive to men anyway (not just sexually, but socially too).
I also hated the expectation that I'd be physically strong AND that I have some "duty" to share that on a whim with basically everyone except other men. Meanwhile, I wanted to share it ONLY with other men and primarily to men I found attractive.
Ultimately I don't have a perfect quotable answer. I just didn't want to be socially male and preferred to be as physically female as possible. I got most of what I wanted (with trade-offs) and that was good enough.
>I don't have an interesting feminine things at all
If you meant feminine interests, then I didn't have much of that either. Except knitting, ig (learned from grandma). But so what?
Even now I don't have too many "feminine" coded interests. I cook, I still knit and I guess I gossip lol since most of my social circle is cis women plus another mefy tranny wife.
>goddamn you
what did i do?
i merely listed the realistic options, that I saw working out IRL. Feel free to dismiss them all. Or try them all. It's your life, your body and some things you can't really know unless you try. So it's on you to look at the trade-offs.
I tried being a man. Didn't like the trade-offs.
>same [mef]
This doesn't go away. Sorry to inform you. It just doesn't.
You can postpone the decision, but it doesn't go away.
>I'm too old
anon, there's 60 year olds who get SRS. There's 65 year olds who start hrt.
"too old" is an internet meme for shut-ins. You can just do things. Doing nothing also counts as doing things, btw.
You're in your 30s. Which means you have another 15 years (at the very least) of high T which guarantees constant recurrence of MEF episodes.
There's a reason people like me in the past were called transsexual first (up until 2014 or so when the ideological BS completely took over).
Good luck!

>>44008343
>I enjoyed being submissive
>I also hated the expectation that I'd be physically strong AND that I have some "duty" to share
Feel you on both of these to a degree. I don't know if I just felt insecure and wimpy though, that's what bothers me.
>I just didn't want to be socially male and preferred to be as physically female as possible.
I mean that sounds like the best possible reason.
>Even now I don't have too many "feminine" coded interests.
You just always see that listed when people talk about "discovering themselves at age 5" and all that shit
>what did i do?
Nothing I'm being facetious about how I'm not thinking this shit all again.
>This doesn't go away.
:(
>"too old" is an internet meme for shut-ins.
You're absolutely correct except I know I have to live the the pain of not doing it all sooner when I know I had the thoughts and had the chance.
>Good luck!
Thanks. You are a wonderful person for taking all this time on little old me, I have a tear in my eye how much it matters to me.

>>44008488
>You just always see that listed when people talk about "discovering themselves at age 5" and all that shit
do keep in mind that a lot of that is a script. I'm not even joking.
sure, many of them don't know that they're reciting a script, but they absolutely do. It was (and in some countries still is) part of the job of activist tranny orgs to teach hrt-curious people how to frame their desires in order to be accepted by lab coats and bureaucrats. The script exists because of gatekeeping.
I don't question that some dysphoric trannies knew since age 5 (or 8, or 10 or at the debut of puberty). I do however know for a fact that there are far FAR more trannies like me out there too, especially since DiY became a thing and also gatekeeping for adults has progressively gotten a lot less severe.
Comparison is the killer of joy and, ironically, in itself a source of dysphoria and self-hatred.
We're all individuals. We all have our own reasons for the shit that we do. And sometimes we do shit for no reason or for arguably petty reasons. This is true for almost every human.
Feeling MEF isn't a choice (for the most part). But how you cope with it is a choice. Find a choice that works for you (through trial and error because there is no other way) and then stick with it. It's really not more complicated than that.
I gay coped for a while. It worked until it didn't. It's okay to change your mind too in face of new evidence/experience.
Hugs.

>>44008579
I believe you that it's a script, it's always seem crazy to me.
> I do however know for a fact that there are far FAR more trannies like me out there too, especially since DiY became a thing and also gatekeeping for adults has progressively gotten a lot less severe.
That brings a tear to my eye again. Maybe I'm not so alone.
>the rest
I'm all watery. I'll find something nona, I have to. I just have to put up with a little bit more pain until I can make it work. I want to hug you back a thousand times over.

I don't have any sexual compulsions or dysphoria, nor do I want to transition. I think I have kinship with these spaces because I'm a Kinsey 1-2 that never really experimented, except for one time I kissed a dude on MDMA.

The fuckass hare reminded me how much I miss being cared for and about. I am very tired of being completely dependent upon myself. Maybe your issues come from a similar place.

I need another gf and to unretard myself. When I was coupled I never had these questions.

>>44009099
>I kissed a dude on MDMA.
i would really like to do that

>>44009145
I did this back in college when I hung out with dirty hippies. If that sort of thing is still part of your life you can make it happen. It was natural for me.

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>>44006899
i am a repper but i cant stop thinking that if i were a cis women, i would want to be a trans man. also, i dont feel uncomfortable in my body, i have issues like eveyone else but no discomfort. i had a severe desire to be a girl though, and not in the AGP fetish way (though id love to get to slutty clothing) but in the fact that it appeals way more for what is my inner self, my soul. i am very autistic as well so that checks out.

i know i cannot be defined, i really tried to be normal, but i am not normal, i have desires and needs like eveyone else, and you too. OP i think that is time for you to accept that despite believing that you dont have dysphoria, you definitly have something going on with your identity and that is okay, is just who you are, no less no more

>>44009334
That's a beautiful way to think about it. It's just something.

>>44006899
>I'm not trans
>the ability to carry children
MANY SUCH CASES

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>>44009407
thank you anon, life exist as an open source, maybe we can be uncertain about what we are and that scares us, but we also can be anything we want because of that same rule

>>44006899
a friend of mine that i used to forcefem had her wakeup call when we watched TADC in theaters together. I don't think you're gonna convince yourself not to do something that you want. Life is too fucking short to not try something that might make you happier. Please at least try, if not in public, then by yourself. You would be surprised by how necessary something feels after you try it for the first time.

>>44008579
Legit this. I had to lie my ass off to get taken seriously by doctors when I came out in 2016, and tell then that I had always felt like a woman, even as a child. The reality was, I only started feeling this way around puberty, and only in very vague and difficult to define ways. Some people definitely do know their gender identity from a young age, but I think those are relatively rare instances. A lot of trans people feel neutral or indifferent towards their assigned gender identity, but find a lot more happiness in transition, and that doesn't make you any less trans than other people. It's just a different experience.

>>44007514
>trans people have these thoughts from age 4
generally not. I didn't until it hit me like a truck at 17

>>44007689
>Everyone says they knew as soon as puberty started, at the least
much more common, but some factors (babyface/twinkedness, dissociation, general stupidity) can make it a lot later

>>44007012
>>44007700

Thank you anons. This is a good dose of faketransrepfuel in the morning.

>>44009804
I'll try to keep this in mind for life in general, thank you.

>>44010218
>You would be surprised by how necessary something feels after you try it for the first time.
That's the fantasy, but my entire worry is that the fantasy is just that.

>>44010559
I'm stupid as fuck for sure, and dissociative, so that might be why I've made it this far.

>>44007145
>Why shouldn't I transition just because I'm bored and hate myself?
people do
but also >>44007459
>>44007514
>I didn't, and I didn't get them until I started hanging out in places like this so it's not real.
not a guarantee in either direction - some people repress they shit well enough that only once they're faced with others experiencing close enough shit, does it become unavoidable to face it
but also a few are able to meme themselves into it maybe idk ig