Last night I watched Nakamura-kun's last two episodes and I started to cry my eyes out, two entire navigable rivers, because I have just lived the exact same thing last year.He won't ever love me, he won't ever want to spend time with a tranny. He does not think I am that funny or pretty or interesting, but to me he is the most wonderful guy I've ever met, a creature from a fairy tale. I cry at least once a week imagining our life and trying to manifest a text from him, but it never happens. A few weeks ago I saw him exchange about three words with his ex and when I got home I could not stop myself from crying. Knowing he would rather go back with her than be with me, because at least that would be a normal relationship.The semester is about to end and I have been trying to manifest a text from him asking me if I want to go to the movies with him once we are done but I already know that will not happen. He does not want to hang out with me ever again, after all, I am a loser and a male.But, I still think it's not fair that cishet people can get with whoever they want no questions no doubts asked while we have to spend months and even years wondering wether that person could ever like us. Wether a single affective thought about us has crossed their mind, knowing that is impossible, living in a complete fantasy that will only hurt us more on the long term.
