my dysphoria moves in total lockstep with vyvanse/adderall/stimulants, and the amount of stimulants I'm on is inversely correlated with how much dysphoria I feel.Every morning I take vyvanse, and it makes me feel no gender dysphoria and it makes me want to be a man. In fact, I've thrown away my E once because I was tweaking on a recreational amount of vyvanse and I was so disgusted by my dysphoric thoughts from nightly dysphoric episodes.However, the second the vyvanse starts wearing off at night (9:30 PM), or on days I skip it, I immediately swing from being 100% cis to feeling suicidally, cripplingly dysphoric and I have a mental breakdown. On stimulants I'm disgusted by femininity, and off stimulants i'm disgusted by my masculine body, and this is a nightly mood swing that has been going on for years now.Does anyone else have this experience?
>>44026989i was amphetamine and meth addicted, obv it makes you feel awesome...it's just drug coping, broalso for the future: you're gonna look great in the mirror when you look into it on meth...in reality you'll look worse and worse when getting a stronger addiction tho
>>44027064But it goes even further than that, whenever I'm on amphetamine I want to masculinize myself, and I feel disgust at my memories of having dysphoria the previous night, so why am I proactively opposing my non-stimulant dysphoria rather than just "feeling awesome"?
>>44027159because you're a retarded repper...are you gonna be high on crystal 24/7 your entire life now?
>>44026989Man my Vyvanse doesn't make me do all that
>>44026989>vyvanse>it makes me feel no gender dysphoriawhere do i buy this?
>>44026989Stimulants just make me not give a shit and continue on to become more and more autistic by the day. I do have ADHD, and I am taking a break from them right now (which is why I'm probably typing a lot).I used to want to transition, but when I was asked "what do you really want?", I realized that I needed my own spirit that I haven't encountered in so long. I went from melding my soul into a mask for years, to breaking it down and creating things anew. It started off simple, I would have an internal world that mirrored my senses, and at each iteration I continued to take it further than that. On and on. As each and every aspect of my sensory experience became represented in my alternative world, I no longer became so greatly ensnared in my own sense. I put new posters in my room, I give myself an imaginary user-interface, I change the internal appearance of myself, I change the appearance of others depending on how they act. This is akin to the time I imagined myself as a cartoon character in the playground as a kid, but I was pushed to come back down from this world.And where has all of this gone, for everyone else? If they are dissatisfied with their gender, or if the world is so horrible that it kills them, then do they not grieve for something greater here? It seems like anyone who wished to have an alternative body are only able to do so according to a sexual dichotomy/the language of gender; a goal set in the real world. If there is such a problem of suicide, then maybe the concept of gender isn't being taken far enough, because something deeper is limited to this domain that describes it as such.You will be called ridiculous for it, those destitute messages of the real world... but you have a whole new virtual system inside of your head that is completely untapped. If any of you are reaching the threshold of suicide, why not take a moment and just... try to set this further for yourself? If you have no mind, of course you're a dead man walking!
>>44026989yes but not as extreme as you describe it. also i quit nicotine a while back and was hit by the biggest wave of dysphoria in years
>>44026989Noradrenaline affecting medications tend to reduce emotional affect, the blunting is a side effect. If you're feeling less like a woman that's why.
