Ive been dating my bf for 5 months now and he still doesnt want to make the relationship public due to him being scared of his chud friends making fun of the relationship because im a tranny and allam I being too patient with him?
Just be passable first
>>44044376break up with him and find someone who treats you right, you deserve better than that nona. Part of the reason men keep doing this shit to us is because we let them get away with it. My bf was introducing me to his friends and his family immediately, and isn't ashamed to show me affection in public, that's the very minimum. If he wants a dirty secret he can go fuck a boomer sissy from grindr
>>44044412Ive mostly been putting the blame on myself because I dont fully pass because of my disgusting jaw but then again he should be able to put up with me being a bit clocky if he actually likes me so idk...
>>44044467I don't pass either, which is why I still boymode a significant amount of the time, but if he really loved you he wouldn't be ashamed of you. Plus a man who is insecure enough that is going to have his masculinity threatened if you aren't a super model is only going to cause you problems later on down the line. Insecure men are dangerous
>>44044520mmm maybe ill try to pressure him a bit more to go out with me to do stuff, if not ill have to think about breaking up most likelyHes really sweet, I doubt that he knows how all this makes me feel in reality
>>44044412>Part of the reason men keep doing this shit to us is because we let them get away with it.another part is that most of the men that treat you right aren't attractive
>>44044376Regardless of gender, you shouldn't let someone do this to you. That's just asking to be cheated on, or have someone pretend you were never even together.If they hide that you're together, then how real is that connection?I'm very sorry. Regardless of what you end up doing, I hope things get better for you soon.
>>44045106Its a genuine relationship, I can tell that he really likes me but hiding me from everyone else is the only part thats been annoying me.He also makes me feel alot better about myself than if I was alone so id like to avoid leaving him if possible
>>44044376Try to get him to realise that acting like he's ashamed of you hurts you :(His love for you should matter more than what random moids think. Also, why does he have "chud friends" to begin with?
>>44045352Hiding you isn't something small in the slightest.
>>44045380because hes been friends with them forever and its hard to seperate from them even if he doesnt share the same views anymore
>>44045478Well, does he love you enough to put you above them, or would he continue being friends with people who deride and degrade his wife?And there's no guarantee anything will even happen, maybe they'll be tolerant when he actually tells them and it's someone they care about.
>>44044376What would you gain from making it public?
>>44045593being able to go out together etc but mostly about making myself feel more valid
>>44045626The issue is that some people wont see you as valid and simply hate you for what you are, he probably is certain it wouldnt go well and just wants to avoid any conflict.Does he refuse to go out with you no matter what, even hiking somewhere etc.?
>>44044376Why does it need to be public?
>>44045777no something like hiking is fine but nowhere too public you know
>>44044376I read the comments in this thread. There are 2 issues:>You don't pass as a woman (self admitted)>He is pretending he isn't gay and wants to pretend he is dating a womanSo... does this bother you?If he shows you off now is is clearly openly gay. However you admitted you don't pass so for an outsider, he isn't fucking a trans woman, he is fucking a guy.In my viewpoint you have some options:1) be okay with just being the secret. Dont worry about the future.2) be okay with it FOR NOW and work towards eventually happening being out as both of yo work on your shit (you on passing and him on accepting he is fucking a "she" and not a she) - This requires kind of a serious talk if its a hard limit.3) do not be okay with it and throw out a relationship that you like (i assume) because it might never happenBasically do you like him enough to take a gamble or accept the situation? Or is it that much of an issue to you that you gotta end it?We can't make that decision for you. There are some anons here that are very shocked by this but at the end of the day you have to decide yourself.
>>44044412mine did this but i lost attraction to him after like a year
>>44046008false dichotomybi =/= gay
>>44045954>>44045626>>44044376Brutal, but I also see where he's coming from.BUT this is just too fucked up towards you.My last gf was definitely not passing, and I was kinda worried about going out in public when we first met. I decided to just say fuck it and took her to the city centre and we walked around for a few hours while I held her hand. This was just a way for me to man up and stop caring about others more than anything, even though she had a great time
>>44046008>you on passing and him on accepting he is fucking a "she" and not a shekys transphobeshe's a she.
>>44046029awww, that's adorable!
>>44046008you might be right, i think ill gamble it
>>44046022bi = gay = bottom = unmasculine ew in the eyes of 90% of women, that's all that matters realistically. take it up with the gender role enforcers
>>44046029>we walked around for a few hours while I held her handand everyone clapped
>>44046008I pass as a woman outside of my brutal chin, dont call the relationship a gay relationship
>>44046057why would he care what 90% of women think? he's already got a woman, OP's his woman
>>44046022For a guy, Bi and Gay are the same thing, anon. Once you fuck or are fucked by a guy, you are fucking gay - It doesn't matter if you also like women. You only have 2 states - Manly or Not Manly. Fucking a man is on the Not Manly side. Doesn't matter if you are topping, or if your testosterone is so high you had to fuck a guy, that's all cope. It's not like women being like "teehee im just experimenting with girls", as a guy you just can't take it back.I'm not saying you can't be bi or gay or that its a bad thing, im saying society sees it like that. If you wanna be mad about it, feel free, but it be like that.>>44046057 Is right.>>44046030He clearly doesn't see it that way. Being mad at me for saying it doesn't change that.
>>44046137Fair, I didn't mean to imply that. I'm saying he probably sees it as such or he wouldn't have issues showing you to other guys/family.I apologise if I sounded mean or dismissive, it wasn't my intent. Was just trying to be autistically objective.
>>44046163he might see her as a she and still be concerned about whether others will.as you yourself point out in the first reply in your post, a person's perception and reality are not always the sameso, him seeing the reality that she's a woman is not the same as others seeing it.
>>44046146for now
>>44044376He should be comfortable introducing you to his friends. Public affection can be daunting, me and my fiance have had people roll down the window and throw shit at us for holding hands before. So I can understand hesitation with that but he should be making an effort to improve on that, you two really need to talk about it. Probably start small, go to a safer queer friendly city and start there if hes really afraid. Same with introducing you to the parents, if he doesn't want to that means their probably the type to never accept you no matter what so what's the point of subjecting you to them. Getting written out of the family will often isn't worth it, you will both be better off living a lie If you get the house out of it in the end especially in this failing economy. Plus it will be a miserable experience for you both being stuck at his parents house for the weekend. Me and my fiance have discussed it a lot, meeting my parents, but my dad's a skitso so the unpredictability of him is a scary thing to have to deal with. Why waste our limited PTO to spend the weekend with my dad when we could go to the beach instead?
>>44046200True but if he does that because he cares about her - wouldn't that also mean that he would understand that the relationship being public would also be something she really cares about?I'm not saying that's impossible, but I just don't think that's the most likely scenario. Its clearly bothering OP, I assume he has seen the signs.
>>44044376i wouldnt tolerate someone who doesnt want to be seen with me for even a second let alone 5 months but thats just me.>>44046230wtf is this ai generated uncanny valley picture
>>44044376its fine to date chuds but never date a weak man. sorry nona but your bf is a pussy.
>>44045352The friend thing is a bit much, that’s pretty rude. I could get not wanting to tell family though if they’re anti LGBTQ.
>>44044376Move to the sf bay area and date me instead, I won't hide you from my friends.
Then you're not in a relationship.
